Update on Missing Fiancee

[jodee 30]

Good news she is safe!

And in true VJ form, people have to pick pieces out of everything someone says. Steven did the right thing and tried to help the guy, and steven had the courtesy to tell those who really cared all was ok.

There is really no need to continue being judgemental, and assuming things people, whats done is done. Who cares if it was a scam, or not a scam. The most important factor was the OP-s peace of mind, and the young ladies safety. Let's leave all the innuendo and hear says out of it. Why must people always make a dram a out of everything.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

There was another Filipina on her flight that she met before. Her flight from Manila to Detroit was 36 hours with a 12 hour layover, and then she was facing another 8 hours in Detroit, where it was snowing, before her final destination in Kentucky - with no one there to greet her, and she had no pocket money to even buy something to eat. Again, some poor decisions were made and it's just a sad story. I understand people are curious to know how this ended up happening, but there's a lot there and no clear good guys or bad guys.

No disrespect, but she has no pocket money to buy some food, but she has the aptitude to leave the airport, call from some random phone and then disappear for days? IMO it seems that the fiancee has an aptitude in finding her way out of tough situations.

I'm generalizing here, but my experience with Filipinos here in the states - they'd give the shirt off their back for another Filipino in need. Her friend on her flight probably has family that met them both at the airport and took her in. It was snowing and she didn't even have a jacket.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Everyone that had read sirdrexel's thread from last week - about his fiancee' arriving at her POE in Detroit, but never reaching her final destination, she appears to be ok. She's made contact with her fiance via an email. It appears that it wasn't planned, but she just got cold feet. There's no telling where she is at, but at least her fiance can find peace knowing that she is ok.

It's sad to see this happening to anyone, but after talking with Lamon (USC), I could understand the woman's anxiety and frustration. He realizes and regrets a lot. Anyhow, hopefully he can put this all behind him and learn from the experience. I wish him well.

Sounds like he's not going to lose much. If she were a decent woman she'd have made a effort to see him personally and work things out instead of leaving him hanging and worrying.

THe OPs fault also for not getting to know his fiance better. You are seeing more and more long distance relationships "crashing" when the beneficiary gets to the US.

So true. We better know our lady inside and out to prevent the "Cold Feet Syndrome".

The fact is, my Pinay ran away from home one week before embassy interview. At least she melted down before I came out there and wasted more money and time. I spent many weeks with her and her family. I thought I knew her well, but I guess not.

Maybe the community could come up with some ideas on how men can check for Cold Feet Syndrome. What are some red flags to look for? Anybody have any ideas or experience that can help others?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I never normally say this, but I think this thread should be locked at this point. Curiosity has been satisfied. Thanks Steven.

I think there's a lot to be learned or understood from this K-1 that fell apart, so I think we should keep it open for now. People are curious and angry...rightly so. We wouldn't want this to happen to us.

[mkg265 2]

Glad to hear she is safe. I was sure she had been picked up for human trafficking and that stuff scares me. Please warn your loved ones when they make the journey to the US about human trafficking in common POE airports!

[-B&T- 1]

Glad she's ok but still everything doesn't sound right to me. She came over as a K-1 beneficiary so she has 90 days to stay unless she will change her mind, marry the fiance,adjust her status and become an LPR or go back to Philippines.Oh well, lets see what's gonna happen after the 90 days I hope they will keep us posted though.

[Minya's wife 25]

I'm generalizing here, but my experience with Filipinos here in the states - they'd give the shirt off their back for another Filipino in need. Her friend on her flight probably has family that met them both at the airport and took her in. It was snowing and she didn't even have a jacket.

I'm going to generalize as well, but I'm having a really hard time justifying the lackadaisical attitude displayed towards personal responsibility...owning your choices. And I don't think that has anything to with one's ethnicity/nationality. It depends on the person. Cold feet aside (everyone gets cod feet to some degree somewhere in this process) when it comes right down to it....this person participated in all aspects of the process until she arrived here, and then she gives in to the fear and bolts? You're right....it is an all-around sad situation.

[Ladylethal 12]

Damn, that is sad. It still does look like a scam, I mean, doesn't seem she took off alone, but at least she did contact him so he won't worry for her. Thanks for the update.

IMO, Lamon would be better off to not jump to that conclusion - and realize they both made some bad decisions and leave it at that.

Well, important thing is he can be more at ease now, at least as far as her safety goes.

[Niels Bohr 72]

There was another Filipina on her flight that she met before. Her flight from Manila to Detroit was 36 hours with a 12 hour layover, and then she was facing another 8 hours in Detroit, where it was snowing, before her final destination in Kentucky - with no one there to greet her, and she had no pocket money to even buy something to eat. Again, some poor decisions were made and it's just a sad story. I understand people are curious to know how this ended up happening, but there's a lot there and no clear good guys or bad guys.

No disrespect, but she has no pocket money to buy some food, but she has the aptitude to leave the airport, call from some random phone and then disappear for days? IMO it seems that the fiancee has an aptitude in finding her way out of tough situations.

I think I knew what happened with the hint I highlighted in red. She felt desperate, and confused. If I am right, she may have went out to sleep with another man for money.

If I made the wrong guess, may god have mercy on my soul.

[Peikko 1,575]

I never normally say this, but I think this thread should be locked at this point. Curiosity has been satisfied. Thanks Steven.

I think there's a lot to be learned or understood from this K-1 that fell apart, so I think we should keep it open for now. People are curious and angry...rightly so. We wouldn't want this to happen to us.

It's entirely up to you. Personally, if one wanted to discuss the implications of what happened, that's one fine, but to have all this speculation about the particulars of the case? Either you will have to continue to reveal more and more which doesn't seem either fair or wise, or someone who is not here to give their side of the story gets trashed/praised in equal measure for no possible gain, in my eyes. But, as I said...

[Nelly228 0]

I never normally say this, but I think this thread should be locked at this point. Curiosity has been satisfied. Thanks Steven.

I think there's a lot to be learned or understood from this K-1 that fell apart, so I think we should keep it open for now. People are curious and angry...rightly so. We wouldn't want this to happen to us.

i am excited to know when will be her flight back to the philippines.

[Peikko 1,575]

I'm sure you are. I would be excited to deliberately not let you know, if it was my decision.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm generalizing here, but my experience with Filipinos here in the states - they'd give the shirt off their back for another Filipino in need. Her friend on her flight probably has family that met them both at the airport and took her in. It was snowing and she didn't even have a jacket.

I'm going to generalize as well, but I'm having a really hard time justifying the lackadaisical attitude displayed towards personal responsibility...owning your choices. And I don't think that has anything to with one's ethnicity/nationality. It depends on the person. Cold feet aside (everyone gets cod feet to some degree somewhere in this process) when it comes right down to it....this person participated in all aspects of the process until she arrived here, and then she gives in to the fear and bolts? You're right....it is an all-around sad situation.

Sure, but people have left their loved ones at the altar...it's not uncommon to get pretty far in the relationship and back out. I would guess that like many long distance relationships, the couple here probably didn't have a lot of time together (in person) before getting engaged, but then again, even living together has proven not to be very effective in making a marriage last.

Edited March 25, 2009 by Mister Fancypants

[SMOKE 1,426]

I'm generalizing here, but my experience with Filipinos here in the states - they'd give the shirt off their back for another Filipino in need. Her friend on her flight probably has family that met them both at the airport and took her in. It was snowing and she didn't even have a jacket.

so true. they are always willing to help each other out.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Glad to hear she is safe. I was sure she had been picked up for human trafficking and that stuff scares me. Please warn your loved ones when they make the journey to the US about human trafficking in common POE airports!

Did we ever find out why the Petitioner was not at the airport to pick her up? Did she disappear at a connecting flight? I would want to be at the POE and fly the rest of the way with her.