Approximating when to file K-1.

[slim 1,525]

And post wedding pics here when you tie the knot. Slim (another VJ'er around these parts) likes nothing better than a good cry over some wedding pics and pie, while he polishes his guns.

I was actually out shooting my guns (and training folks how to shoot theirs - www.appleseedinfo.org) this past weekend so I missed this wonderful post.

First -

Welcome to the Russia Forum. This place is an elite brotherhood of "old, fat, bald, rich guys" who have all "purchased" hot sexy young Russian women and are now only on VJ to offend Canadians and Britons. We also like guns and pie, if you haven't noticed. (And as mox said, a good cry every now and then at some wedding photos.)

Second -

Don't waste your time in the K-1 forum. Everything you need to know you can get here and the only thing you'll be doing over there is offending Canadians and Britons with all your talk of "purchasing" your young hot sexy new wife. Stick to the pie, and you'll be fine. Guns, even better.

OK. Down to business....

Are you going to be living in America with your new wife or are you one of those international businessmen who will be able to spend half the year in Russia with your wife and her family? Are you able to pay for her to be able to spend half the year in Russia with her family?

Or, are you one of those guys who, for whatever reason, decided to marry a woman from Russia and is now going to make a life in the U.S.? But, in the mean time she (or probably more like her mom and grandma, sisters, cousins, friends, etc.) would like to "keep it Russian" as far as the wedding is concerned and go about living her life all the way up until the point where it's time for her to transition to the States.

Here's where you're going to run into problems.

If she's coming here to live with you..... her life there is pretty much done as she knows it. The sooner she (and her family) realize that, the better. If she's under the impression that she's going to be able to "have the best of both worlds" then she's wrong. (Unless you're rich, of course.) Her family is also wrong. If they'd like to see their Russian daughter get married in Russia and you guys have the means to do it, that's great. But, you'd be better off using the next year and a half convincing them that she's moving to America and she's going to get married in America and that's the way it's going to be.

On that note, she's wasting her time finishing up Uni in Russia. Get her over here ASAP, get whatever credits she can get transferred over and have her graduate from an American school. Remember, she'll be living in America, after all. Not that a Russian uni degree is worthless, but she'll still have to jump through a bunch of hoops to make it work in the States. Might as well save all that hoop jumping and apply it directly to an American degree, no hoops required. There are several highly-educated Russian women here on VJ and they can tell you how much "worth" their degree was when they got here. It's not like they can step off the plane and start their dental practice the next day. "Russian law degree? That's cool. Would you like to answer the phones in our office? Maybe after a few years of hard work at the local community college you could be a paralegal." Get her over here and get her accredited as soon as you can.

A year and four months?

That's a long time. You can get the interview date pushed back and she can stay the six months after the visa is granted. (I know, my wife did both.) But why? Think about it this way... you could apply now, and she could be here in time to go to school next year. You guys could do the "Russian wedding" over there this summer (to satisfy mom's photo fetish) and then have everything ready to go to start your life together here. By July 2010, she could already have numerous credits toward her "American degree" and she'll also already have a green card just in case she wants to go home or you guys want to do the "Russian wedding" then.

I think it's silly for her to "work towards something" in Russia when she could be working towards something here. I'm also just saying all this because I secretly desire everyone to be as "happy" as I am. Get married soon!

[Cixelsyd 1]

First, sorry for the wait on a reply. Blame work... or alcohol. I leave the choice up to you.

Baron555:

Every story I hear about a Russian wedding just makes me look forward to it all that much more. I've already been warned about the tradition of the friends trying to keep you from getting her to come out of her house to go get married. It's going to be so much fun and the perfect opportunity to alienate family members on both sides.

You'll defiantly have to tell me about your experience, since I figure you'll go through it before me.

Mox:

I agree about being able to sign the registry in Russia would be much better; we're still figuring it out and with the new information you all have provided, it's given me a lot to consider.

Either way, I'll post the pictures and discuss war stories. Much pie and ammunition will be allocated for said day.

Chuckles:

I tend to skip over lots of things when I read through here, but it sounds like he is going to do a K1, but do a ceremony without a 'license' in Russia?

You pretty much nailed it on the head, good skimming.

If you do, do not use any, or take any of the pictures to the consulate as evidence. Do it, get it out of your system, then pretend it didn't happen. There are many stories where a ceremony took place, and couples were denied, even though no 'rules' were broken.

That's just for the consulate interview to get the k-1 visa right?

I would think it would be the opposite for adjusting status interview (whatever that's called, don't shoot me for not knowing lingo yet). Or am I wrong about that one?

Slim:

Welcome to the Russia Forum. This place is an elite brotherhood of "old, fat, bald, rich guys" who have all "purchased" hot sexy young Russian women

and are now only on VJ to offend Canadians and Britons. We also like guns and pie, if you haven't noticed. (And as mox said, a good cry every now and then at some wedding photos.)

Anyone know what the return policy is in case they get mouthy? (Hope the future Mrs. never sees that; or you'll find me in the Gulags)

And who let the Canadians have computers?

Don't waste your time in the K-1 forum. Everything you need to know you can get here and the only thing you'll be doing over there is offending Canadians and Britons with all your talk of "purchasing" your young hot sexy new wife. Stick to the pie, and you'll be fine. Guns, even better.

Will do, besides it feels like home here; kinda like the short bus. But as they say, birds of a feather...

So I don't make another book, I'll try to sum my answers:

We're planning on living in America; my only international traveling is over the Internet. Work likes to throw a computer at me and lock me in a room.

And of course we're not planning on living apart for any time longer than what we have to now.

To be fair about having the wedding in Russia, it was my suggestion. It will be easier for my family to go there and I know it would mean a lot to her and her family. Plus her family is amazing, so I would feel bad if we didn't at least do something.

You are right, her life there is pretty much done because the only time I'm rich is when I go to the dollar store.

I have no idea what the job situation is going to be like for her. I already figure I'll have to pull whatever connections I don't have.

Not that I don't appreciate a lot of insight and suggestions about getting married earlier. I did honestly think about it and consider how it could work.

It would be really difficult to pull off at this point in time. There's just a lot of other little things that would push the date we could get married back, which would bring us to about the same time we're planning on getting married anyway. We talked about it and both came to the conclusion that while as much as we hate being apart, we realize it really is better to wait.

Plus like I mentioned earlier, she should be here for 4 months this summer. And I'll go visit her again this winter.

Waiting is a hard thing to do, but she's more than worth it.

Of course it's easy for me to say that now when she's only a month and change away from staying here for 4 months. Wait until after she leaves and we have to wait a long time to see each other. Then I'll be screamig "WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO SLIM!".

But we will get married and be more than happy. Until then, we can dream about what will be.

Interesting Side Note:

I saw your picture with the cow in Moscow. I was JUST there a couple weeks ago. I should upload the picture. Made me laugh that we would both get a picture of it.

And Finally to Everyone:

Thank you very much for the welcome.

I look forward to annoying each and every one of you.

[mox 298]

Will do, besides it feels like home here; kinda like the short bus. But as they say, birds of a feather...

Well that's mighty kind of you to say...wait...wut?

Thank you very much for the welcome.

I look forward to annoying each and every one of you.

Better change your flag to UK if that's your plan.

(Again, welcome! )

[slim 1,525]

All I can say at this point is - "Good luck."

As for the pictures with the cow, yep, it's "on the list" of photos you have to get with your S/O while in Moscow. I'm sure we all have a photo in front of St. Basil's and maybe even enjoying a real gambooorger at McDonald's.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Better change your flag to UK if that's your plan.

I thought RU flaggers had cornered the market on annoying.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Cix and mox, I made the ceremony comments on purpose.

As I understood your comment, you believed he was talking about a legal marriage in Russia, in which case you would be right, the K1 would be invalidated. But to be clear, having a ceremony without registering the marriage doesn't void the K1, and this is what he's talking about.

Be careful here mox. I think that a valid church wedding (anywhere) makes you legally wed here for the purposes of a K-1. There are a bunch of posts from folks here who married in the FSU (only in a church) and used a K-3. Maybe you won't get caught - no civil marriage = no problem with the government checks and forms, but the spirit of the K-1 is that you are single, no? The best clue to that is that we recognize a church wedding as valid for almost anything here.

[mox 298]

Be careful here mox. I think that a valid church wedding (anywhere) makes you legally wed here for the purposes of a K-1. There are a bunch of posts from folks here who married in the FSU (only in a church) and used a K-3. Maybe you won't get caught - no civil marriage = no problem with the government checks and forms, but the spirit of the K-1 is that you are single, no? The best clue to that is that we recognize a church wedding as valid for almost anything here.

Hmmmm. I know the government recognizes common law marriages, so I guess the question would be "does a 'church wedding' without actually signing anything qualify as a common law marriage?" I would think not, but of course IANAL so maybe. It seems to me that having a church wedding without signing anything would certainly be within the spirit of the K-1, but then again we are talking about the gubmit.

I agree that care needs to be taken. I would not volunteer this information to the interviewer or POE. I would not carry wedding pics, wear wedding rings, or in any other way give the impression I had participated in a wedding. Not because I think there's anything wrong with it, but because interviewers and USCIS officials tend to act in idiotic ways. If it were to come down to proving to the POE dude that you are NOT married, that's certainly a losing proposition.

One thing I noticed when looking back over the OP, is that he said they are planning on having an "unofficial wedding." The OP might want to clarify if this will be a church wedding, because many Russian weddings are not church weddings. So if they're going to just go through all the celebrations and wear suits and wedding dresses, I have a hard time believing that this could be considered official without registration. If it will be a "church wedding," maybe the OP should talk to someone who knows a thing or two about how the government sees that from a legal perspective.

Sorry for the stream-of-consciousness rambling...bottom line I think is that IMHO the OP should go through with his plans, but just make sure his fiancee is smart about it when she hits POE. If you're entering the country together, either just email yourself the photos beforehand, or if you only have printed photos then either mail them or criminy why the hell don't you have a digital camera? Same with rings and anything else that would imply you are married. If the OP is coming back before her, then it's easy. He should carry all the wedding stuff himself.

Good points Brad.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Be careful here mox. I think that a valid church wedding (anywhere) makes you legally wed here for the purposes of a K-1. There are a bunch of posts from folks here who married in the FSU (only in a church) and used a K-3. Maybe you won't get caught - no civil marriage = no problem with the government checks and forms, but the spirit of the K-1 is that you are single, no? The best clue to that is that we recognize a church wedding as valid for almost anything here.

Hmmmm. I know the government recognizes common law marriages, so I guess the question would be "does a 'church wedding' without actually signing anything qualify as a common law marriage?" I would think not, but of course IANAL so maybe. It seems to me that having a church wedding without signing anything would certainly be within the spirit of the K-1, but then again we are talking about the gubmit.

I agree that care needs to be taken. I would not volunteer this information to the interviewer or POE. I would not carry wedding pics, wear wedding rings, or in any other way give the impression I had participated in a wedding. Not because I think there's anything wrong with it, but because interviewers and USCIS officials tend to act in idiotic ways. If it were to come down to proving to the POE dude that you are NOT married, that's certainly a losing proposition.

One thing I noticed when looking back over the OP, is that he said they are planning on having an "unofficial wedding." The OP might want to clarify if this will be a church wedding, because many Russian weddings are not church weddings. So if they're going to just go through all the celebrations and wear suits and wedding dresses, I have a hard time believing that this could be considered official without registration. If it will be a "church wedding," maybe the OP should talk to someone who knows a thing or two about how the government sees that from a legal perspective.

Sorry for the stream-of-consciousness rambling...bottom line I think is that IMHO the OP should go through with his plans, but just make sure his fiancee is smart about it when she hits POE. If you're entering the country together, either just email yourself the photos beforehand, or if you only have printed photos then either mail them or criminy why the hell don't you have a digital camera? Same with rings and anything else that would imply you are married. If the OP is coming back before her, then it's easy. He should carry all the wedding stuff himself.

Good points Brad.

As are yours mox. Perhaps I was concerned a bit about just picking the correct visa for the situation too, but I don't know that a church wedding certificate (whatever that looks like) will get them past some of the proofs in Russia either. Hmmm.... I am also concerned about issues in the future, where the OP could have civil penalties here (annulment, polygamy) because of a previously unrecognized marraige there, aside from visa fraud concerns - potentially because in civil matters we do in most states recognize a church wedding as legit, and most churches recognize a civil marraige. Over-thinking no doubt. Also, living here in the bible belt, there is a school of thought that unofficially married is a little like unofficially pregnant

[Cixelsyd 1]

Sorry, I was being all quiet and everything lately. Again, I blame work.

Anyway, to answer one question that has been talked about. We are not planning on having an unofficial church ceremony. We actually did consider doing this at first until we found out the churches require a letter from the Zags before they will do any sort of ceremony.

Also, as far as the ceremony itself goes it would occur after the k-1 visa is approved. So the only potential problem would occur at the POE. Which, while I could be wrong, I would suspect that would be an unlikely place to get denied. That is of course provided you aren't doing something like wearing wedding rings etc... Even then, let's be honest, how much do the people watching the gate know about all this stuff. Personally, with my experience coming back into the US after a visit to Russia, the only thing they cared about was what I was bringing back with me.

Technically this whole situation isn't illegal. I don't think there should be any problems in the future, as this would not be a visa fraud. All the rules would be followed; officially married in the U.S. The slight difference is we would be having a celebration for the two of us (so what if she's wearing a white dress and I'm wearing a tux).

I do like hearing about other peoples thoughts on this matter though. So please continue with ideas and questions.

[Neonred 3,562]

Coming back to the US after a visit to Russia is one thing but entering the US with a Russian passport and a K-1 visa (depending on POE) can be a whole other matter. For us it was a 3+ hour ordeal in Atlanta. It was just crazy. I watched as our packet with passports (they took mine also) and large envelope from the embassy finally got some attention. I heard the young guy when he opened our documents and said " Oh $hit, a K-1. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" He looked to one of the other guys and asked how many days does a K-1 get? Another half hour later they called us up and started asking questions and reminded us about getting married in 90 days. I am sure other POE's differ but the point is that there is much more involved the asking what are you bringing in and then waving you through.

A nice "pre-wedding" ceremony should be a great time. Enjoy.

[mox 298]

Neon, I'm simply amazed that the dude didn't know what to do with a K-1. If you were flying into Denver, I'd understand it. But Atlanta? That's a HUGE international hub. Bizarre.

[Cixelsyd 1]

I'm surprised to hear that it took that long as well. Not that I have anything to compare it to. I would have just figured it didn't take that long. I know that they inform the SO about things they will need to do etc... But still, I wouldn't have thought it would need to take 3 hours. I do suppose part of the delay could have been the guy that didn't know what to do with your packet.

So now I'm just curious and have to ask. Ever hear of someone getting turned around at the POE? I'm sure it's happened before, although I suspect not very often.

[mox 298]

I've heard of people on a K-1 getting turned around at POE, but never from the RU forum, and always due to stupid things like previously overstaying a visa. If she's got the K-1, she's got her medical paperwork, and nothing significant has changed in her status or criminal record, she should be fine.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Neon, I'm simply amazed that the dude didn't know what to do with a K-1. If you were flying into Denver, I'd understand it. But Atlanta? That's a HUGE international hub. Bizarre.

Read my review of our POE experience. Not harassment, but definitely long and dull. I mean the wait was long and the immigration guys, well.....

[Neonred 3,562]

Brad, I see you came in through Atlanta too. Of course for us it was three years ago, but it seems not much has changed. When we arrived it was a busy time and there were a lot of people waiting to be processed. There were three to four people "working" while we waited, but they seemed to be more interested in what the plans were for their dinner, and what they would be doing on the weekend. Very little work being done at any one time. Very frustrating for me as a US citizen to sit there and watch and listen to their BS.

They were very rude to people with connecting flights that were asking about the delays. They did announce several times that the standard processing time through Atlanta is between 2 and 4 hours so please sit down and don't bother us by asking questions. It's not our problem if you miss your connecting flight.

I will say that while I waited I did see and hear at least one case where a guy left the country without turning in his I-94. They made him sweat for a while, then scolded him, and then let him enter.