Any advice to my stepson about returning to Ukriane

[Grid 0]

Our 19 year old stepson is currently planning to return to Kiev to finish his last 2 years of University. He will most likely have his CGC before he leaves. We understand that even with a reentry permit he will probably have to return before he graduates in order to keep his biometrics appointment and interview appointment to remove conditions. This may create problems for him, if this necessary return to the US interrupts his second year at the University (as many of you know the University polices in Ukraine are not flexible).

So his mother and I are concerned about his return for a number of reasons,

1. He may have difficulty graduating from his University, if he must return to the US before he completes his 2nd year.

2. He may run in to difficulty with readmission to the US if the officer at the POE does not believe that he intends to

become a permanent resident it the US.

3. We think that he is underestimating the difficulties that he will face when he returns to Ukraine, by difficulties I

mean the current financial crisis and the future longer term outlook for finding work and having a normal life.

The only reason that he can give us about why he wants to return is that he misses his friends, his food, and his culture in general. All very understandable and valid, but these feelings are probably temporary (a part of the grieving process) so we would hate to seem him make a decision to return for emotional reasons that are likely to change with time.

Please give me your feedback.

Do you think that are worry warts and exaggerating the risks of his return?

If he returns, that is of course his business, but we would hope that he makes as an informed decision as possible. What sorts of things do you think that he should be aware of and think through before he makes his final decision? Thanks for your help.

Gris

[Brad and Vika 129]

I have an acquaintance here that left a daughter in Odessa with grandparents for the same reasons. Her youngest (a son) came to America with his mom. Returning periodically so she didn't lose her status was a problem, but they were able to work it out. Now the daughter is married, has a degree in journalism, and lives in Kiev. She is apparently very happy. Some kids just can't take the culture shock, or don't want to start a new life - and realistically what teenager does want that? I am sure you all will make the right decision. Things have a way of working out.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Our 19 year old stepson is currently planning to return to Kiev to finish his last 2 years of University. He will most likely have his CGC before he leaves. We understand that even with a reentry permit he will probably have to return before he graduates in order to keep his biometrics appointment and interview appointment to remove conditions. This may create problems for him, if this necessary return to the US interrupts his second year at the University (as many of you know the University polices in Ukraine are not flexible).

So his mother and I are concerned about his return for a number of reasons,

1. He may have difficulty graduating from his University, if he must return to the US before he completes his 2nd year.

2. He may run in to difficulty with readmission to the US if the officer at the POE does not believe that he intends to

become a permanent resident it the US.

3. We think that he is underestimating the difficulties that he will face when he returns to Ukraine, by difficulties I

mean the current financial crisis and the future longer term outlook for finding work and having a normal life.

The only reason that he can give us about why he wants to return is that he misses his friends, his food, and his culture in general. All very understandable and valid, but these feelings are probably temporary (a part of the grieving process) so we would hate to seem him make a decision to return for emotional reasons that are likely to change with time.

Please give me your feedback.

Do you think that are worry warts and exaggerating the risks of his return?

If he returns, that is of course his business, but we would hope that he makes as an informed decision as possible. What sorts of things do you think that he should be aware of and think through before he makes his final decision? Thanks for your help.

Gris

We have the same situation, a son now in his second year of University. Our son attends college in Moscow at a very strict Engineering University. Yet even they have shown some flexibility when we spoke with the Dean. Not a lot, mind you! But a little. Alla and I went directly to him and spoke about our situation and what kind of conflicts we could have. We will try our best to avoid them and he will try his best to co-operate. It appears, so far, there have been no conflicts.

Sergey will come here every summer for minimum 2 months. We discussed this with the CIS local office. They have told us "No problem" if he is out of country less than 1 year and he is a college student, no problem. When he returns he will show his GC and college ID if necessary.

Alla, Sergey and Pasha all want to spend time every year in Ukraine. We will do that, hey I like to go also! All that is understandable, but you cannot risk losing his residency and he needs to understand that also. He is a student there 9-10 months of the year, what is he missing? We have never had such a conversation with Sergey either, so maybe it is a different situation. Alla and I make a decision, give them the word and if they don't like it, we can never tell. We bought him his plane ticket and sent him a copy of his "e-ticket" for this summer. "Here is your flight information..." No problems.

If Sergey can, he will come here for Christmas break also, but many times, as you know, Christmas break means studying, not really a break. And it is not a month long rest as it is here. (College students in this country have NO CLUE!!!!!!!)

But really, Alla and I more or less plan Sergey's school year and travel and there is never a problem with him. "He whos pays the Piper...calls the tune"

I guess I am confused as to your use of term "returns". We have studied the options and decided that Sergey is getting absolutely the best education possible for the money. At less than $3000 per year, incl room and board, for the top rated Engineering University in Moscow? I mean, truly, MIT level education for $3000 per year! Where can we possibly beat that? Whether he returns to live there permanently will be a decision for an adult son after he finishes his college education (6 years) Until then he will come here in the summer. Sergey is in his second year now and will simply come back during the summer break, is there a problem with this for your son? How would that jeapordize his graduating?

Does your son now have a green card? Why would a passport control person believe he would not be a permanent resident? We have discussed this with CIS and really, there seems to be absolutely no problem, they seem very accomodating to his education efforts.

The economy in Ukraine, presently, is in the toilet and swirling around. If your son thinks any differently, he is underestimating the situation. My MIL has sent us her life savings to get it out of the country. The 3 close friends we have there haven't been paid since late 2008 and are GLAD to have unpaid jobs in the hopes they will eventually get paid. The currency has lost half it's value in the last 6 months and no one wants to exchange it for dollars. Again Americans have no clue. Figure it out, Ukraine has an inflation rate of 200% right now, and what would happen here if that ever happened? LOL And that is not even bad compared to what it was in the late 90's.

Anyway, I think you and your wifde just need to make some plans for the sake of the children and implement them for their own good. When he is an educated adult he can make informed decisions.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Our 19 year old stepson is currently planning to return to Kiev to finish his last 2 years of University. He will most likely have his CGC before he leaves. We understand that even with a reentry permit he will probably have to return before he graduates in order to keep his biometrics appointment and interview appointment to remove conditions. This may create problems for him, if this necessary return to the US interrupts his second year at the University (as many of you know the University polices in Ukraine are not flexible).

So his mother and I are concerned about his return for a number of reasons,

1. He may have difficulty graduating from his University, if he must return to the US before he completes his 2nd year.

2. He may run in to difficulty with readmission to the US if the officer at the POE does not believe that he intends to

become a permanent resident it the US.

3. We think that he is underestimating the difficulties that he will face when he returns to Ukraine, by difficulties I

mean the current financial crisis and the future longer term outlook for finding work and having a normal life.

The only reason that he can give us about why he wants to return is that he misses his friends, his food, and his culture in general. All very understandable and valid, but these feelings are probably temporary (a part of the grieving process) so we would hate to seem him make a decision to return for emotional reasons that are likely to change with time.

Please give me your feedback.

Do you think that are worry warts and exaggerating the risks of his return?

If he returns, that is of course his business, but we would hope that he makes as an informed decision as possible. What sorts of things do you think that he should be aware of and think through before he makes his final decision? Thanks for your help.

Gris

I should have read your first paragrapgh a little more carefully as it addresses exactly what we have discussed with the director at the school in Mosocw. If during this process of Sergey's education, it is necessary for him to come back for a biometrics appointment, then he will get on a plane, come here, do his biometrics at a CIS office (probably in New York) and go back, missing one or maybe two days from school, tops. He can sleep on the plane. The scholl agreed that if he would not miss any exams, he could miss a couple days of school and make up the work. If those are exam days, we agreed to re-schedule the appointment.

We also discussed this with our local CIS office and they have been VERY co-operative with us. I think they would agree to almost anything they could do within the law.

As far as the "missing his friends and food and culture"...the only food Sergey misses is his mother's cooking and for the rest, I assure you the answer would be (if he would even have the temerity to mention it) "Too bad for you, this is important". Alla's sons will have the wonderful opportunity to become US citizens if they choose, or to go back and live in Ukraine if they choose, or both, but ONLY if they go through this process and finish their education. They are in no hurry to exchange that for their friends or "culture" or some time away from parents to goof off. They can do that afterwards. Both have said they wish to become US citizens, then go back to Ukraine and find a wife! Good choice, in my opinion! I could be biased.