Please help me ? I am dying !

[Seperated_Lovers 0]

Dear Friend;

I can totally understand your feelings. I have been through that recently and still not over it. I started to miss her as soon as I hugged her and said bye to her at the airport. I still cant think straight. So many times I have decided to quit my job and just go and be with her till she gets through the process. But everytime she was the one to stop me from doing that, even though she cries everytime I call her, and I cry few times too . But she and other VJ members have a point. This is just a painful journey that has a happy ending.

Here are few things you can do. That have helped me, I hope they help you too.

Call her alot. At least twice a day. So you can talk about every little thing that happened in the day.

Calls should be long, at least half an hour each. I know thats expensive but thats worth it.

Talk about general stuff along with your nice romantic talks. That makes your brains ease a little.

Talk about all the nce things happened when u were together.

And, MOST IMPORTANT, talk about nce things and times that you will enjoy once she is here.

Try to laugh and make her laugh.

Make stupid jokes.

And........ Don't talk about sex, that just makes the whole situation worst, because thats when u both start to miss each other soooooooo much.

Hey just try to keep in touch with her and watch some TV.

I am thinking of starting a forum which includes stuff that help us cope with loneliness, any one wanna join me?

[hafiz 1]

man you scared me what the heck

[gimygirl 0]

...

I am thinking of starting a forum which includes stuff that help us cope with loneliness, any one wanna join me?

what is the problem with this forum?!?!

[ohiobuck 0]

This process is hell but in the end you will be successful and you will be together soon. The only thing my husband and I could do to get through the 10 months apart was to talk everyday and as often as we could and stay focused. We both stayed busy working to prepare ourselves for our interview, learn all we could about the process and figure out how to best handle everything. This made us feel like we were at least fighting to be together even though it didn't make the time go by faster. Luckily my husband was successful and got his K3 visa and less than a week later he was here with me.

Stay focused and remember she's worth the wait and their are so many couples that have it worse than us and that was another thing that helped put me in my place when I was about to snap. I know a wonderful couple that will be apart for over 5 years all together before they can be together, I think you should thank your lucky stars that isn't you. Both of them have already cried so many tears you could fill an ocean and they will never give up on each other because they love each other more than life itself. So remember your time will go by faster than you think, so keep blugging away and be grateful for what you have. Plus you will find out you will grow even closer to your love. I know you will think I am crazy, how is that possible but you will learn like so many of us through this process that it makes us have even better relationships.

God Bless you,

Paula

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Remember, Brownhorse that anything worth having is worth waiting for.

3 months, 6, 9, a year - its a FINITE process, it DOES have an end - think of the things you can do NOW to ready your home for your wife..are there people in your community who can help her get used to living in the USA? Will there be places she can go to find familiar foods and culture? Of course she should assimiliate into US culture too - are there places you can take her that will help with this? Will she be wanting to get more education in the US? Are there courses you can investigate for this? How about cross-job training (if she already completed her education) or hobbies she might like to explore further?

If you plan and do NOW, it will help pass the time and it's constructive; it may also help both of you get ready for your new life.

Don't focus on the time apart - focus on what will happen once you are TOGETHER.

[JanaknJanet 0]

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haha someone is speaking from the experience eh ! Thank you so much for a reminder. I will make sure not to turn my hair Gray from Brown..never knew gray hair really turns women off** Thanks again..you really made me Laugh...i needed that so bad !!!!!!!

[

Wonderful idea !! thanks for the suggestion. The only problem is my wife lives in a small village and doesnt have access to internet. However, i have found a site where i can call her on landline almost for free using my internet, a VOIP (voice over internet protocol) service. I have been tlaking to her almost everyday now and preparing for our future together ! I still miss my baby a lot..she the best thing ever happened to me and she had made me the happeist man ever since the marriage, ever since the day we met and fell in love !

HE HE HE . Welcome BrownHorse... Have to say.. I love my Babies Grey hair... personally find it rather sexy.. and find the white hairs that are appearing more and more in his whiskers even more hot.. ha ha ha

so not all women find greay a turnoff..

We tease each other.. that this whole process is just aging as we are.. yes the stress is getting both of us.. a tad more silver.. but.. heck.. it is mutual.. and. we both are earning each and every grey hair on our heads..

I totally understand of what and how you talk about the difficulties of communication. My Janak has been trying to use net cafe... many times when he is out on tour he is not able to use or find a netcafe. augh.. but as determined as he is.. he has even resorted to talking some guy at the petrol station into letting him use his pc in trade of some pc work. (defrag work the guy didnt know how to do) . ha ha..

He too is from India.. so I can sympathize with the inability to financially afford to fly at a whim.. to be with my love... gosh if i only had to spend $300-500 for a flight .. Id be there 3x a year as well... but. when flights are in the range of $1200-2100 rt.. makes it rather difficult to just make a trip when needed...

We have recently purchased a pc for the home... which is also not a simple thing where he lives.. he has gotten a net connection. .. only works 1/2 the time. and we must wait to use it his 10pm -6am .. which is lower rates... still at that.. it is still costing him $110 USD in charges which is insane (for a hour and half use daily... might just have to revert back to netcafe use.. augh.. or look into something more reliable .. but what?

I have found a phone card company.. Onesuite phone cards that has very reasonable phone rates. for myself calling his mobile i get it for as low as 12.2 cents a min.. which is fantastic. .. I have looked into vonage... voip.. but have not found anything that was as low as my phone card... would love to hear what you are using.

We have connected his mobile and my mobile to our MSN and Yahoo accounts to refer textmessaging direct when signed offline... so now we get our text messages via msn./yahoo at no cost.. thank goodness.. cause my verizonwireless international text is /25 cent outgoing and 10 cent incoming... . but.. his mobile provider doesnt connect with verizon ... so he would need to change providers.. augh...

funny how we make things work for us.. to keep in contact with our loved ones..

You are not alone in this journey... there are many people .. whether via K-1 K-2, K-3 etc... .. or stuck like myself... .. I am happy that you and your honey are at least in the works... that is the best gift of all...

Just remember.. it is just a process.. a journey.. sometime the journey is a bit longer or a bit windy.. but ultimaetly the road does end... and for you .. the end of the road will be with your wife walking off the plane..

for now... remember... each day is a day closer... no matter how frustrated you are.. she is probably just as frustrated.. .. think of little things you can do for her now that may make her life there a bit easier.. .. .. ..

I know it is incredibly hot right now there... if i can at least make my loves life a bit more comfortable.. then i wll... they have no airconditioner in the house.. .. .. so.. i am going to make a surprise gift... .. I know he will appreciate it.. and so will momma and pappa... and of course the children... Is there anything you can think of that you can do for her that will make her time just a bit smoother? You may kist feel better yourself knowing she is at least being taken care of with you so far away...

Welcome to this crazy ride... .. just remember. to remain seated until the ride stops

[hahuhobrad 0]

OMG!!! I read allot of post on this site, and I find that in so many cases, it's the female living in another country that does all the work. Now, I realize in this case it's not the female in the other country, it's the female in this country. Dude! Can you read your post again, because you honestly sound like a girl. You're in for a long process and someone in the relationship, usually the guy, is suppose to be strong, calm, secure about yourself and your relationship. ***You need to be the man, the one less prone to emotional outburst!!!*** Who is she going to turn to for strength? If you are like this, I don't want to think about what you're poor girlfriend is going through. If I were your friend, I think I would tell you that your not ready for any of this. If I were her friend, I would be seriously concerned about her decision.

[maria_b84 0]

Take it easy....

[shirlJ831 0]

I know how hard it is to be patient and wait ! but when working with these people that is all you can do. Been there DONE that !!! I thought the days would never end or go by faster when I was in Canada. I find it is even harder when your waiting for "something".

keep yourself real busy !!! we have all been through this , and soon you will be typing this kind of support message to someone else, while your sitting with at home with your wife

[Rob and Melinda 0]

Hey Brownhorse,

I know exctly how you feel, I have also been tormented by the prospect of such a long wait. did anyone tell you yet that this takes an average of 7 1/2 months?

The way that I have coped with this long wait and to keep from loosing my mind, is to make a trip to see my bride every 6 weeks and stay for 2 weeks. It is expensive and difficult to arrange the schedule, but it is helping me cut the 8 months into smaller pieces.

I also lean on the Lord through prayer and that sustains me Big time,

Rob

[Cygnet 0]

I have found a phone card company.. Onesuite phone cards that has very reasonable phone rates. for myself calling his mobile i get it for as low as 12.2 cents a min.. which is fantastic.

We use onesuite as well.

Brownhorse, I agree with the other posts here about keeping in touch often with your SO. My husband and I talk at least once a day... usually twice a day. We're lucky that our time difference is only 3 hours. So, we can basically pick up the phone at anytime and talk to each other... even if it's just to see what the other is doing, at say, 2 PM. And we still send emails to each other even though we talk on the phone a lot (one hour is the norm sometimes more if we're talking about serious stuff).

Just hang in there...

By the way, my husband gets emotional (as I do, too) every now and then.

[rushter 0]

Hi Mrs.whizz,

YOU re so rite. Patience always pays but i dont have one at the moment. And i willing to go to any extent and fight for my lovely wife. I just cant live without her anymore. I miss her a lot ! You guys must be brave enough to live without each other. I cant control my feelings anymore. i really miss her a lot. Anyways, i will keep you guys updated with my case. Hopfully i will receive NOA1 soon ! Thanks again Mrs.Whizz..i do need a support from good people like you ! GOD BLESS THE WORLD !

I have been in your shoes. Bravery only comes with real love and trust.

I'm glad you expressed your feelings here. It simply mimicks the reasons why my feelings never died over the 2.5 years it took to bring my wife here. Today it is impossible for me to give back to my wonderful wife what she gave to me while we were waiting for everything. If I could give back, I would never stop as she represents everything GOOD that exists to me.

Love is a fabulous thing.

Even better if it happens to you. Time ----> will make you guys stronger.