Got any good "The last time I sh!t my pants..." stories?

[Ban Hammer 13,641]

Funny that many people found this post humorous.

After a flurry of PMs from a moderator, my VJ account was suspended for posting this.

maybe some mods are constipated?

[almaty 19]

nah, all mods are full of sugar and spice...

Edited April 2, 2009 by almaty

[thetreble 19]

That is the FUNNIEST story I have heard in awhile. Thank you for sharing it, UW.

[panamania79 2]

I usually have the opposite problem when traveling abroad.

Me too,I get all bunched up

[Craneman 2]

Phillipines, Subic bay drunk on San Miquel, slept in the shower with the water running Puking from one end more liquid out the other end.

Just thinking of San Miquel beer makes me nausious.

[almaty 19]

San Miquel beer, ftw!...good sh!t..oh..sorry man..no offense meant/

[Mina76 0]

With so many folks here who've traveled to countries where you get diarrhea from accidentally opening your mouth in the shower, I figure there's gotta be some good pants-pooping stories here.

Here's mine:

Me and my buddy were at some border crossing trying to get into Vietnam from Cambodia. I had the sh!ts something fierce.

Apparently nobody bothered telling those Vietnamese border guards that they don't need to worry about some American guy smuggling a bag of rice in from Cambodia, because they held us up for hours acting like it was some big privilege to get in to that country.

It was about 115 degrees outside, and the only sh!tter around was this fvcking hole in the ground with no toilet paper. They had one of those ubiquitous buckets of water with a soup ladle (I guess you're supposed to scoop some water down your buttcrack then wash your a$ with your bare hand), but ** that. All I had to wipe with was some Cambodian money I soon couldn't use. I squatted over that damn pit more times than I could remember those hours we were there, and I soon found myself dangerously low on a$wipe money.

At just about this time, my buddy said "Hey! Look at those folks!" and pointed over towards the sh!tter. Low and behold, there were some people reaching down into the sh!it pit barehanded and pulling out the worthless bills I'd used to wipe my a$ with. In a textbook case of karma, I burst out laughing, and in so doing, my a$ threw up all over the inside of my undies.

That's all I have to say about that.

OMG!!!

[fozzie 41]

Funny that many people found this post humorous.

After a flurry of PMs from a moderator, my VJ account was suspended for posting this.

maybe some mods are constipated?

Did anyone actually complain to the MODS? Many of us have toilet based stories from various parts of the world!

[Saska+Tim 7]

Too Funny ........ i was laughing so hard I cried

[MsMariah 0]

And women here in the states dig in toilets to get their engagement rings out of it after it slipped off her "dieting for the wedding" finger too, and no one says that's base right?

[Donna A 4]

well i have the same problem when i went to syria. luckily i was in the apartment when it happened. my husband went to visit his daughter and i stayed back cuz i was so tired. i slept and woke up with the worst need to go. i sat up and no sooner did i stand it was running all over the place. i made it to the bathroom a little to late. as i was cleaning myself up i was praying my husband didnt come home until i got the rest of it cleaned off the floor. nope too late...he was back. i think he about threw up due to the smell to the whole apartment. i just know he was opening windows and doors as quick as posible.

[peejay 327]

that's disgusting; however, quite entertaining. i've experienced the opposite in my travels. i've been to france, germany, belgium, luxembourg, and switzerland outside of the US. my experience was more like---you eat bread and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for wks and you want to kill yourself cos you can't sh!t and haven't for 2 wks straight. let's just say i drank black coffee, swallowed laxatives, and did headstands. there's video.

You need to get outside of Minsk and travel in the Belarusian countryside. I stayed at my mom's cousin's farm in the village on one visit. No running water. They throw a bucket down into a well for water. Believe me, you won't need any laxatives if you ingest even a drop of that water. Even if you don't purposely drink the water, it's on everything. They wash dishes with it, wash vegetables with it, etc. Ever heard of Montezuma's Revenge? This is Stalin's Screamin' Red Terror. It doesn't effect the locals, but it's hell on Americanski.

P.S.: And the local Belarusian toilet paper reminds me of the rough brown paper towels that we use in the USA to dry our hands with in public restrooms. After about the second or third go round it feels like sandpaper. Ouch! Between that and the fact that the old farm only had an outhouse, I was hurtin' for certain. Ever look down into an outhouse pit and see the excrement moving because it is full of live maggots? It's quite an experience that is not easily forgotten.

oh jesus. i'm staying on american soil after hearing that.

I hope my little tale of the Belarus countryside does not dissuade you from going on a tour there. The cities are very different than the rural villages. I've been to Minsk, Baranovichi, Slutsk, Nesvizh, and other cities there. I still wouldn't trust water out of the tap, but the only time I got really sick was from well water on a farm. Minsk is a large Eastern European metropolis and I enjoyed my many visits there. I still don't drink the water out of the tap there either. If you do, make sure it is boiled to make tea. It is OK to drink the tea once the water boils. And, of course, the local beer and vodka is OK to drink too.