Got any good "The last time I sh!t my pants..." stories?

[Uncle Wally 2]

With so many folks here who've traveled to countries where you get diarrhea from accidentally opening your mouth in the shower, I figure there's gotta be some good pants-pooping stories here.

Here's mine:

Me and my buddy were at some border crossing trying to get into Vietnam from Cambodia. I had the sh!ts something fierce.

Apparently nobody bothered telling those Vietnamese border guards that they don't need to worry about some American guy smuggling a bag of rice in from Cambodia, because they held us up for hours acting like it was some big privilege to get in to that country.

It was about 115 degrees outside, and the only sh!tter around was this fvcking hole in the ground with no toilet paper. They had one of those ubiquitous buckets of water with a soup ladle (I guess you're supposed to scoop some water down your buttcrack then wash your a$$ with your bare hand), but ** that. All I had to wipe with was some Cambodian money I soon couldn't use. I squatted over that damn pit more times than I could remember those hours we were there, and I soon found myself dangerously low on a$$wipe money.

At just about this time, my buddy said "Hey! Look at those folks!" and pointed over towards the sh!tter. Low and behold, there were some people reaching down into the sh!it pit barehanded and pulling out the worthless bills I'd used to wipe my a$$ with. In a textbook case of karma, I burst out laughing, and in so doing, my a$$ threw up all over the inside of my undies.

That's all I have to say about that.

[MissStacey 1]

Nope- haven't ###### my pants yet.

I did pee the bed a little not too long ago. I was dreaming that I was peeing- luckily I woke up when I realized what was happening.

[mRx 16]

Jesus...

I shat a rosebud when I was at Wal-mart like 10 years ago. But I got nothing on your story... Damn, that was good.

[*Robert* 2]

I was too drunk to remember!

[Cham 3]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

Okay it ALL started in band camp..WAIT thats another story HA HA

NO I wanted to go bungee jumping so bad. So I get up there and realized I was scared of heights THAT high up and I could not back out..My friends paid for it. SO I stood there and felt like I had to go number two BUT the cramps were there. THAT high up and no toilet I had to jump. NO ONE TOLD ME THAT BEING SCARED WOULD MAKE ALL YOUR BODY FUNCTIONS GO NUTS. Lets just say I NOW know the meaning to SH!T HAPPENS!!!

ACK NEVER AGAIN!

Sad thing is I work in the laundry and housekeeping dept..I deal with a lot of SH!T if ya know what I mean.>EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I'll post my story as soon as I clean up.

[Kevin&Leilei 1]

I usually have the opposite problem when traveling abroad.

[Teacher Mark 53]

With so many folks here who've traveled to countries where you get diarrhea from accidentally opening your mouth in the shower, I figure there's gotta be some good pants-pooping stories here.

Here's mine:

Me and my buddy were at some border crossing trying to get into Vietnam from Cambodia. I had the sh!ts something fierce.

Apparently nobody bothered telling those Vietnamese border guards that they don't need to worry about some American guy smuggling a bag of rice in from Cambodia, because they held us up for hours acting like it was some big privilege to get in to that country.

It was about 115 degrees outside, and the only sh!tter around was this fvcking hole in the ground with no toilet paper. They had one of those ubiquitous buckets of water with a soup ladle (I guess you're supposed to scoop some water down your buttcrack then wash your a$$ with your bare hand), but ** that. All I had to wipe with was some Cambodian money I soon couldn't use. I squatted over that damn pit more times than I could remember those hours we were there, and I soon found myself dangerously low on a$$wipe money.

At just about this time, my buddy said "Hey! Look at those folks!" and pointed over towards the sh!tter. Low and behold, there were some people reaching down into the sh!it pit barehanded and pulling out the worthless bills I'd used to wipe my a$$ with. In a textbook case of karma, I burst out laughing, and in so doing, my a$$ threw up all over the inside of my undies.

That's all I have to say about that.

OMFG that may be the funniest story I've ever heard dude.

Edited March 21, 2009 by Joe Six-Pack

[MrsCat 6]

- agreed, but shitting story I've ever heard!

[Niels Bohr 72]

You're bad. Cambodia is already full of poverty. 95% of people there lives on one dollar a day and you used money to wipe your buttcrack? It can't be helped that you need to wipe your butt.

[fozzie 41]

With so many folks here who've traveled to countries where you get diarrhea from accidentally opening your mouth in the shower, I figure there's gotta be some good pants-pooping stories here.

Here's mine:

Me and my buddy were at some border crossing trying to get into Vietnam from Cambodia. I had the sh!ts something fierce.

Apparently nobody bothered telling those Vietnamese border guards that they don't need to worry about some American guy smuggling a bag of rice in from Cambodia, because they held us up for hours acting like it was some big privilege to get in to that country.

It was about 115 degrees outside, and the only sh!tter around was this fvcking hole in the ground with no toilet paper. They had one of those ubiquitous buckets of water with a soup ladle (I guess you're supposed to scoop some water down your buttcrack then wash your a$$ with your bare hand), but ** that. All I had to wipe with was some Cambodian money I soon couldn't use. I squatted over that damn pit more times than I could remember those hours we were there, and I soon found myself dangerously low on a$$wipe money.

At just about this time, my buddy said "Hey! Look at those folks!" and pointed over towards the sh!tter. Low and behold, there were some people reaching down into the sh!it pit barehanded and pulling out the worthless bills I'd used to wipe my a$$ with. In a textbook case of karma, I burst out laughing, and in so doing, my a$$ threw up all over the inside of my undies.

That's all I have to say about that.

I always joked that the cambodian currency was so worthless you could wipe your #### with, never pictured anyone having to though! It probably cost you less that a roll of toilet paper in the US though so job well done..until you ###### yourself!

I still have a 100r cambodian note around here somewhere! I think i calculated its worth at about 2 cents.

[fozzie 41]

You're bad. Cambodia is already full of poverty. 95% of people there lives on one dollar a day and you used money to wipe your buttcrack? It can't be helped that you need to wipe your butt.

In these places many people use their hand (never shake the left hand). My brother travelled india and used this practice out of necessity. Now if you have to wipe with your hand make sure you use the same hand every time as you will also no doubt eat without utensils too!. Most people are right handed and so EVERYBODY wipes with the left (even the lefties). My brother however is a leftie and so wiped with the right, therefore he drew gasps of disgust as you started eating with his left hand

[Nagishkaw 510]

I'll post my story as soon as I clean up.

[NickD 203]

I don't eat for 24 hours when traveling via the airlines, just tiny sips of coffee now and then, coffee because it's at least heated to 160*F. Already got food poisoning before a long flight, had to fight constantly with the stewardess as they called them back then just because the plane would bounce now and then.

Very simple concept, if you don't eat nor drink, you don't have to go. Miserable today when you have to wait in line at POE or customs for an extra three hours.

[amberdima 6]

that's disgusting; however, quite entertaining. i've experienced the opposite in my travels. i've been to france, germany, belgium, luxembourg, and switzerland outside of the US. my experience was more like---you eat bread and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for wks and you want to kill yourself cos you can't sh!t and haven't for 2 wks straight. let's just say i drank black coffee, swallowed laxatives, and did headstands. there's video.