The Rest of the Story...a year later!!!

[R de la R 2]

Close call. Could she not have come over here on a tourist visa for three months first? Instead of just doing a k1 for that reason you should be sure before you even get to that stage. Find another way to spend time together.

Lauren and I spent only a few days together in our initial meetings as we were both backpacking around the the world. However we went back and forth several times over the next year before I decided to come out here for a 3 month stint on visa waiver. That time living together, while still short by many standards, convinced me she was the one. Without that I would not have proposed and would not be here now. (Her parents were not best pleased at the time but have now welcomed me as a member of their family!)

It is very unlikely that she would have got a tourist visa to come over for 3 months. You are in a very fortunate position of coming from a Visa Wavier country so all you have to do is get on a plane fill out a I-94w during the flight and as long as you dont raise red flags at the POE you will be admitted to the US for 90 days.

For those who do not come from a Visa Wavier country it can be almost imposible for them to come and vist before they have their visa.

Every country CAN get a visa to visit the US. If there are red flags maybe that would be it's own warning, no?

To get a visa for single woman in poor countries is very, very difficult. You both were in different position

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Every country CAN get a visa to visit the US. If there are red flags maybe that would be it's own warning, no?

A "young or younger" woman from any country south of the US is an illegal immigrant until proven otherwise. There is no way anyone from outside a visa waiver country will get a visa.

I got one, and so did many of my friends

Saludos,

Caro

[Corinthians 7]

I got one, and so did many of my friends

Saludos,

Caro

You are lucky. I know people with jobs, cars and money in the bank that couldn't.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

i'm sorry for your misfortune, but good lord---if you needed to give her a spy laptop, that should have been a clue. you let too much slide before the end.

My ex introduced me to a friend of hers who put her on the agency website. This "friend" asked me last year to carry a suitcase back to the US for him. That, right there should have told me everything. Next, her profile wouldn't come down from the agency website. I asked Onelis calmly about this decision not to remove her profile, and she told me how hard it was to take the bus to the agency where she originally signed up. All of this garbage would have ended if I had been more firm from the start. But, she knew my divorce left me wounded, and she was one hot Colombiana....ah, the weaknesses

[FrancElsie 6]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

[childress_london 3]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

[GregYohn 0]

Hola!

I was married to a filipina, and her cousin taught me the term PUTA, PUTA, PUTA!

I also got burned from the "BEACH" from Barranquilla, according from my wife from Cali! Her name was Ivonne Gomez, now residing in in Bogota!

Well, I can just say that I got burned from PPP, since she came here from the Philippines and then got pregnant by another guy and it took over 2 years to prove her child was not mine! Ultimately, I got a divorce from PPP!

My wife is just about 6 years younger than me, but the "BEACH" from Barranquilla's father was younger than me! I would say not to lose hope on Colombiana's, but try getting one closer to your age!

Claro?

[my choice 0]

Hello Fellow "VJ'ers"

Over a year ago, I was excitedly waiting for my beautiful wife (Karina) to get her K-3 VISA approved at the Bogota Embassy and move to the USA to live happily ever after. BUT, during the time period from our wedding date of 5/18/07 and the approximate interview date of 8 - 9 months later....many things just did not seem "kosher" from a love and marriage point of view. So, I will attempt to tell you a little about the situation...then, tell you what I would have done differently. IF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME saves one of you fellow VJer's from a huge mistake...then, this post will be worthwhile reading for you.

(I don't remember what "name" I was using on this forum but I think it was "Craig&Karina" or something...Monokoke28 will remember me. I posted several times and related stories of situations which made me suspicious of my wife and her true intentions.)

I fell in love too quickly. Meeting a prospective spouse on January 1st and getting married on May 18th ... just 4.5 months later was really stupid on my part. But, I swear to this day... I was crazy in love with Karina! Anyway, 4.5 months and three visits to Colombia is NOT sufficient time to know someone as a person...certainly not enough time to make a lifetime commitment. But, love is blind, deaf and stupid ... sometimes.

Pay attention to everything your fiance'/spouse "says" BUT... particularly pay attention to the way he/she ACTS! It is said that "Actions speak louder than words!" Believe it... their actions will tell you what is true and what is not!! ACTIONS...not words make the difference in a marriage/relationship. IF something does not "feel quite right," trust your instincts! Do not allow your heart to overrule your brain...as I did!!! Do NOT sweep this "gut feeling" under the rug and eliminate your suspicions because you think there is a "cultural difference" or "misunderstanding." Permit me to tell you something.... THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE IS THE SAME IN EVERY LANGUAGE OF THE WORLD!

IF your brain is telling you to go cautiously and investigate everything....PLEASE LISTEN!!!!!

During my short marriage (we're now divorced) I discovered my wife lying to me a number of times. Also, I found that she was spending my money which I was sending (to support her and her daughter) on fun, frivolity, clothes and going out on the town. I was very generous with her...because I wanted her to be happy. But, my money was to be spent on necessities...not frivolity. I found it very unusual that when I called her on Saturday or Sunday mornings at 11am, 12 noon or 1pm...she'd still be sleeping! I had to ask myself..."Why would a healthy, active, 31 year old woman be sleeping until those hours every weekend?" Answer: Because she was going out on Friday and Saturday nights and partying until the wee hours of the morning!!

Fortunately, I made friends with some people at our wedding and kept in contact with them by way of the Internet. Once in awhile, I'd get a comment from them saying..."Oh, I saw your wife at a nightclub last night and she was drinking, smoking and dancing ... and, when I left the club at 2:30am...your wife was still there." Of course, I spoke with my wife about it and she didn't deny being there...but, she did deny being out past midnight. (She knew that the friend of mine had seen her...and, she claimed that the man/woman was just trying to "make trouble" between us.) Or...another time...a friend told me, " Craig, I saw your wife on the motorcycle that you bought for her...and a guy was driving it."

Another time when I was there on a visit, my wife got drunk and we had a "discussion" which prompted me to shorten my visit by a week. Something told me to change my password on my savings account that we used as the means for her to receive her monthly budget money...(presupuesto). It was a good thing that I did because upon my arrival at the Bogota Airport, my cell phone text messaged me that an attempt had been made to remove $1000 from the account...and a minute later, $900. So, that little voice inside that tell you things....LISTEN TO IT!!! Of course, I called and informed her that I suspected she might make a run for the money and that I'd changed the passcode! She was contrite and apologized saying, "It was an action of rage and I'm sorry!" Sure, it was an action of rage...but, what IF she'd gotten the money????? Then what would have been said or done????

There are several more instances of lying and mistrust that I posted about that I will not relate in this posting. But, the final straw was when I found out that she had a boyfriend...a boyfriend that she had for a number of years. How did I find this out? Wellllll....I am not really proud of this but I had to resort to some subversive tactics. I gave her my old laptop computer so we could talk more often and see each other every night on MSN Messenger. On that computer was a spy program which allowed me to see, read and retain EVERY piece of correspondence, conversation, e-mails, etc. which came from that computer!!!! Well, it didn't take long for me to read several intimate e-mails between Karina and her boyfriend!! Honestly, that didn't feel very good and I didn't like it one bit!! The last one, I will always remember because it said, "Remember that I love you very much and I know that in the end we will be together and very happy. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!" That was just about a week before I was to take Karina to Cartagena for our "second honeymoon." That "honeymoon" was anything but a happy reunion!!!

Karina's interview was scheduled for February 12th or 15th, 2008...I don't remember the exact date but... upon passing through Bogota on my way back to the USA, I made a personal visit to the U.S. Embassy and delivered a "Withdrawal of Petition for K-3 VISA" for Karina and her daughter. Then, I FAXed it another time...just to be completely sure that my wishes were honored. So, just 12-15 days before her scheduled interview, her plans and dreams went up in smoke!! Once my withdrawal letter and FAX were read by the Embassy, her file was pulled out of the rotation and sent back to the USA forever. Sooooo....I "dodged this bullet" by about only two weeks!!!!!

For the next few months, she attempted to win my favor with promises, e-mails, pleading and tears... professing her "love for me." I almost relented and changed my mind as I went to talk with her another time during Easter Week, 2008. But, she treated me badly in front of her family and I knew it was over. The last day I saw Karina, my beautiful Colombian wife was Easter Sunday night of 2008. Her family was appalled at her actions and they disowned her and banished her from the family!!! Initially, I thought this was a "little strong reaction" but later my sister told me that "the family must know more about her than you do....and, they were probably sick of her using other people for her own benefit.

It must be "true love" between Karina and her boyfriend (Carlos) because I found that she was pregnant in May, 2008 (1 year after our marriage) and she just had a baby boy at the end of February, 2009. Our divorce was final in August, 2008 and she was already 3 months pregnant at that time. Thank God that I had enough sense and trusted my instincts enough to put a stop to the charade BEFORE she made it to the United States!!! For those of you who don't know it...YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for your wife and family that you bring to the US on a K-3 VISA...for a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG time. BEWARE OF A WOMAN/MAN WHO ISN'T GIVING YOU THE RIGHT "SIGNALS" AND "FEELINGS" IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP.

Again, I urge you to build your relationship on love, respect and trust. BUT, be realistic and sensible. Do you really think a beautiful 30 year old woman is going to fall in love with a man 25 years older than her? Do you think this woman who has lived in poverty all her life will love you if the chips are down? They have a perception in many foreign countries that U.S. Citizens are ALL MILLIONAIRES and their lives will be immensely improved by marrying one of us. Wake up and smell the coffee my fellow VJ'ers. One final comment...IF they get pregnant and claim it is your child...do a DNA test for proof!!! Many of these women are not beyond getting pregnant to "reel you in" because you are a big delicious catch for them!

What would I do differently: 1) Take more time and not rush to marriage. 2) NEVER marry the woman in "her country" and bring her here on the K-3 Visa!! A MUCH BETTER course of action is the K-1 Fiance' VISA. Give yourself 3 months to get to know the person and live together. In that three months....OBSERVE and test them and find out who they really are and their character.

Please don't think that I am painting all foreign women with the same brush. I am simply telling you of my own personal experience. I'm not bitter about what happened...ok, maybe a little bit...but if I can save one of you from making the same mistake, this letter is worth it!!!!

Sincerely,

Captain Craig

United States of America

Atleast you open your eyes really quick. My eyes are open and I am not liking what I am seeing. My gut is telling me that something isn't right at all. He puts it on the stress of us being apart. But I am not too sure. All I know is that I will be taking my time sending in any paper work that is requested of me. I am not in any rush. I will be 100% sure that his intentions to come here is because he wants to spend a life time with me and not for a green card that would eventially lead up to his citizenship.

Thanks for sharing

Broken hearted

[SuperDuper! 230]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

This makes sense, the women there looking to bring african men to US.

[FrancElsie 6]

I'm sorry Craig about what happened to you, but would you have trusted an American woman that said she was in love with you, but was 25 years younger, prettier, and made a far more humble living than you?

I think there is more to this than the fact that it was an international relationship.

Saludos,

Caro

Hola Caro,

Si...puedo tener mucho mas confianza en una mujer americana en la situacion que su menciona. Por que? Porque una mujer americana vive en los Estados Unidos...no Colombia, Venezuela, Brazil o cualquier otro pais en el mundo!!! Si estoy teniendo una relacion con una mujer en los USA, ella es va estar acerca de me y podemos tener un relacion normal....con citas, con compartiendo tiempo juntos, con conversaciones buenas y porsupuesto con sexo tambien. La unica diferencia es mi relacion con Karina fue una relacion internacional. Que mas? Tambien, Karina fue lo tipo de mujer que no tiene valores y fue un oportunista...buscando solamente por una visa, no amor. Me entiendes?

Muchas Gracias,

Capitan Craig

[FrancElsie 6]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

This makes sense, the women there looking to bring african men to US.

Hmmm....that's interesting. I thought they'd be interested in a Young Hot, LATIN man!!! Well...my comments apply to these women too. There are a lot of men "scammers" out there in MENAland too. I wish there were some way to stem everyone's "excitement" during this VISA JOURNEY and have them look at their relationship seriously. It pains me to see postings like...."89 days and still no NOA-2...cry, cry, sniff, sniff!!" And, such a celebration when the interview day is over and the visa is approved. Sure, it's wonderful...but, THEN the "real life" with your honey begins. Soooo....I hope you did your homework and found out everything about your mate or you will be living in hell in the USA. AND...we really never hear about the horror stories about what happens to men/women and their mates AFTER they get into the USA because they tend to drop off this forum (as I did) and never give us as Paul Harvey says... "the rest of the story!"

Good Luck Everyone

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I'm sorry Craig about what happened to you, but would you have trusted an American woman that said she was in love with you, but was 25 years younger, prettier, and made a far more humble living than you?

I think there is more to this than the fact that it was an international relationship.

Saludos,

Caro

Hola Caro,

Si...puedo tener mucho mas confianza en una mujer americana en la situacion que su menciona. Por que? Porque una mujer americana vive en los Estados Unidos...no Colombia, Venezuela, Brazil o cualquier otro pais en el mundo!!! Si estoy teniendo una relacion con una mujer en los USA, ella es va estar acerca de me y podemos tener un relacion normal....con citas, con compartiendo tiempo juntos, con conversaciones buenas y porsupuesto con sexo tambien. La unica diferencia es mi relacion con Karina fue una relacion internacional. Que mas? Tambien, Karina fue lo tipo de mujer que no tiene valores y fue un oportunista...buscando solamente por una visa, no amor. Me entiendes?

Muchas Gracias,

Capitan Craig

Then excuse me, but you are a fool and will be taken for such again. Good luck in the future

Saludos,

Caro

[amberdima 6]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

This makes sense, the women there looking to bring african men to US.

Hmmm....that's interesting. I thought they'd be interested in a Young Hot, LATIN man!!! Well...my comments apply to these women too. There are a lot of men "scammers" out there in MENAland too. I wish there were some way to stem everyone's "excitement" during this VISA JOURNEY and have them look at their relationship seriously. It pains me to see postings like...."89 days and still no NOA-2...cry, cry, sniff, sniff!!" And, such a celebration when the interview day is over and the visa is approved. Sure, it's wonderful...but, THEN the "real life" with your honey begins. Soooo....I hope you did your homework and found out everything about your mate or you will be living in hell in the USA. AND...we really never hear about the horror stories about what happens to men/women and their mates AFTER they get into the USA because they tend to drop off this forum (as I did) and never give us as Paul Harvey says... "the rest of the story!"

Good Luck Everyone

that's untrue. there are plenty of posts about men and women whose relationships failed, they were used, etc. there are also plenty of people on here who are regulars whose spouses have been here for quite some time and are living successful marriages. both exist.

[childress_london 3]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

This makes sense, the women there looking to bring african men to US.

Actually no. My husband is Persian, not African. Some of the men are Middle Eastern (Egypt -or is that Africa? LOL, Iraq, Iran, Turkey, Syria, etc), not African. Though some are from Morocco, which is North Africa. This may be because they are mostly Muslim countries, and the women there generally will not marry outsiders. Just like with the USC men mostly bringing over Asians or South Americans, I think this is because the men from that region either generally are not interested in American women or more likely, vice versa. This is good because we will at least get a lively mix of next generation Americans! :-)

Edited March 22, 2009 by childress_london

[childress_london 3]

Have you noticed that this website has about 90%+ MEN who are/were (me included!) waiting to bring their girlfriends/wives to the USA, Canada or another "first world" country???

*blinks*

You obviously don't visit the MENA or African sub-forums very often. Also, I believe that 99.9% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouse to America.

You are entirely correct...I have never visited the MENA or African sub-forums. What would I find there? And, actually... 100% of the people on this forum want to bring their spouses to America... otherwise there's no reason to be on Visa Journey. Jejejeje My point was that its about 90% men and only 10% women who are bringing spouses to the USA. Best Regards, Captain Craig

Visit the MENA forum and you will find a lot of USC women! LOL

This makes sense, the women there looking to bring african men to US.

Hmmm....that's interesting. I thought they'd be interested in a Young Hot, LATIN man!!! Well...my comments apply to these women too. There are a lot of men "scammers" out there in MENAland too. I wish there were some way to stem everyone's "excitement" during this VISA JOURNEY and have them look at their relationship seriously. It pains me to see postings like...."89 days and still no NOA-2...cry, cry, sniff, sniff!!" And, such a celebration when the interview day is over and the visa is approved. Sure, it's wonderful...but, THEN the "real life" with your honey begins. Soooo....I hope you did your homework and found out everything about your mate or you will be living in hell in the USA. AND...we really never hear about the horror stories about what happens to men/women and their mates AFTER they get into the USA because they tend to drop off this forum (as I did) and never give us as Paul Harvey says... "the rest of the story!"

Good Luck Everyone

that's untrue. there are plenty of posts about men and women whose relationships failed, they were used, etc. there are also plenty of people on here who are regulars whose spouses have been here for quite some time and are living successful marriages. both exist.

That's true, very good point. And I also think that just because a marriage fails doesn't always mean it was because of a "scam". A lot of marriages fail just because they fail and not because either spouse had plans to use the other. I think in a lot of cases the cultural differences are too much for the couple to handle. Yes there are scams, but there are also real marriage break downs too.