OK, here's a morbid question

[wherezdabearz 0]

John and I are writing our wills at the moment. Never done one before so I'm finding it pretty morbid in itself, listening to lawyer talk about hypotheses such as, OK, so lets say you were in a car accident and one of you died instantly, but the other died on reaching the hospital...eeek!

So we started taking about what would happen if one of us died and would we want the remaining partner to marry again one day vs. wear mourning for the rest of their lives.

Both of us said that we would hope the other would eventually (note the important word) find happiness again with someone else. Of course I woud be a hard act for any other woman to follow and she would have to put up with John's daily worship at the altar set up to me in the guest bedroom, but I genuinely would hope that he wouldn't spend his life alone....after a decent period of time had passed!

And I do hope I die first because I don''t know if I could bear to be without him .

What a weird thing to think about. I was wondering if anyone else has discussed this with their partner?

Alison

[gimygirl 0]

*heehee* absolutely!! i just mentioned something in another thread very similar to what you wrote ... geoff wants to die first as well for that very same reason!! kinda touching in a morbid way! men are more likely to marry (and quicker) than women after their spouse dies. they just can't handle it!!

having a will is a very necessary part of life and i think it's great that you've made one. equally as important, if you can't afford at the moment to have a will drawn up, is at least making your wishes verbally known to your spouse and family.

do you want to be buried or cremated? organ donation? artificial means of support? just to point out a few questions ...

nice topic!

[Welshcookie 17]

Oh yeh....we have had these discussions. Esp thro the past few years when we were unable to get married he was very concerned that I would be taken care of fiancially if anything happened to him....he did that thro life insurances etc letting me how much he wanted his kids to have as well.

He doesn't want any life insurance on me cos he says he will always be fiancially able where I wouldn't be, but since we are able to get married soon ( ) he has bought up the question of what will happen to my son if I die.....he has bought him as his own for the past 3 years, he would like us to look into adopting my son once we are married..

It isn't a pleasant or romantic discussion but better than the worst happening and everything up in the air

[Cristy 4]

Yeah we have talked about it. After about 20 yrs he can get remarried lol. Seriously I would not want him jumping into something soon, but I don't want him to be alone forever either. So yes when the time is right we would want each other to find love again.

[Mirorgate 0]

oh yeah... shes asked "so if i get hit by bus on way to work, will you marry younger prettier girl next time?"

I sensed trap

personally, all my stuff goes to the wife, if she is deceased before me.. then my brother gets all my stuff. not that it is a lot or earth shattering in value... just he gets it. and I want to be cremated and mixed into the punch at the party.... that way i'll be around alittle longer with my friends/family.

[Cristy 4]

note to self * never go to parties hosted by Mirorgates friends/family after he dies.

[Ladylethal 12]

We wanna die together.

[Welshcookie 17]

. and I want to be cremated and mixed into the punch at the party...

[Jenn! 918]

Yup, we've talked about it, and we both feel the same way right now. If we were to die, we would each want the other to find happiness again and possible remarry, yet at the same time we each insist that we would never want to be with anyone else ever again if one of us were to pass away.

Horrible to think about though...

[Reba 2]

we hadn't really talked about meeting anyone else and re-marrying after either of us dies, I think probably because James has been married 3 times now (3rd times the charm they say ) and other than immigration, I hadn't planned on getting married anyway

But, we have talked about what we'd do about death. Haven't got around to the will part of it tho. James jokes that if he dies first he wants to be put on a burning ship and have me tossed on top. Like the Vikings. Or, if I don't jump on the flaming boat he'll haunt me forever.

He's said that if he's in a horrible car crash and in a coma he wants to be on life support indefinitely (selfish #######) and I'm opposite and would prefer a DNR. I'm an organ doner, he perfers to go to his grave whole. I want to be cremated, he wants to be put in a box so the worms can eat him.

As for "stuff" I really don't care. If I die first, he gets it all. If he dies, first I'm quite certain his brother will fight me for it, and I'll just pack my own stuff and go back to Canada. If we die together, I won't really care then will I?

I would like to have a proper will made up, but he keeps stalling. He jokes about death, but hates to admit that he's mortal. *shrug*