Getting out before I get had

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Hello again

I am posting again after trying to gather as much information as I could to make the most logical decision.

I did speak with my wife regarding the letter I posted in topic:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=180170

I asked for several things, her removal of all the 12 or so different email addresses she had, the 61 year old pimp is now in total control of these emails as they hacked my computer obtained my email information and then tried to hide as best they could the email info so that I could not walk right back in and read some even worse emails(yes, there are worse ones than the one I posted)

If they hacked your computer, that is fraud, contact the FBI.

Hacking is covered under law Title 18: Crimes and Criminal Procedure: Part 1: Crimes: Chapter 47: Fraud and False Statements: Section 1030: Fraud and related activity in connection with computers. The federal punishment for hacking into computers ranges from a fine or imprisonment for no more than one year to a fine and imprisonment for no more than twenty years. This wide range of punishment depends upon the seriousness of the criminal activity and what damage the hacker has done.

So after sitting back and logically thinking this though and after having what I call a mini-argument. My wife flat out punched me in the face closed fisted. I do not know the reason or the intent, perhaps she thought I might hit her back so she could claim abuse? But as I said before, I would never hit a woman so I took her punching me in the face as the final step in a long line of LIES and DECIEPT from her.

Contact the police and report this. Get it documented. Remove her from your house.

Give me information on how to pull the Adjustment of Status paperwork. I contact USCIS? Do I need to fill out a form? Do I go into their office personally?(It is close to where I live)

You contact where you sent it to. send a Notarized letter to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services office that has the application for adjustment of status.

I have officially given up, I tried, I tried, and I tried. You can't make someone love you who has given her heart to someone else, funny...he is a 61 year old pimp low class contractor working in his 60s. I did what I could though and I now see that in about 2 years time I will probably be divorced and her with her greencard. Which is fine, I do love her...but to decieve me to get me to pay her a monthly monetary sum of money as noted in the affidavate of support I can not just sit idly by or to have to try to defend myself in court to a false accusation of abuse.

Do what you believe is best for your case.

Thanks for the advise those of you give to me in advance. Please no inflammatory comments. Just a step by step procedure to go about withdrawing myself from the AOS.

Mark

Edited March 17, 2009 by Bobby_Umit

[chispas 0]

I wanted to just barf when I read the email you uncovered. This is so eerily similar to the advice my then SO was given all along in the marriage and I had no idea it was going on until I had already made too many bad moves and trusted him. Mine had other issues mixed in with the immigration process, but all in all I feel what this guy was advising your wife is right on with what he suggested. After mingling our accounts and taking out insurance in both of our names it was hard for me to pull back certain accounts that was in both of our names without his approval. Worst yet, my personal files and keepsakes were totally ravaged I found myself running around like a chicken with my head chopped off trying to just figure out what was going on around me and never was able stay out of the snare he set around me. If she hasn't ruined your credit, your job, your finances, your family relations or your credibility consider yourself blessed. My house was under electronic surveillance for well over a year before I realized it and by then my world had crumbled and I didn't know how to protect myself. Once you decide to leave make sure you secure every and anything that could be used to harm you. If you go back on your decision, she'll only energize her scheme and hurt you further. Also be safe and do nothing that can be twisted fabricated against you. Be safe.

To be completely honest

I will likely never recover, she was and always will be the love of my life. But it is ok, I think she may end up happier in the end since she will be able to talk with all of her friends and family instead of being on the damn computer all of the time. And she wont have me constantly looking over her back so to speak...so she will be free again. Free to live the life she lived before. I think that type of life is revolting but to some who do not know any better it is a good life to them.

Some things you can change, Others you can not....I just refused to accept it. Bad habit of stubborness I carry with me.

I do still hold out a hope even if so very slight things work out, but I am realistic and know what is to come. It is sad to me when I think that I may never speak with her again once she leaves.

OK...no more being a whinny cry baby right. responses welcome to what needs to be done.

Don't worry about not recovering quickly. Heal your heart and the rest will come

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

I wanted to just barf when I read the email you uncovered. This is so eerily similar to the advice my then SO was given all along in the marriage and I had no idea it was going on until I had already made too many bad moves and trusted him. Mine had other issues mixed in with the immigration process, but all in all I feel what this guy was advising your wife is right on with what he suggested. After mingling our accounts and taking out insurance in both of our names it was hard for me to pull back certain accounts that was in both of our names without his approval. Worst yet, my personal files and keepsakes were totally ravaged I found myself running around like a chicken with my head chopped off trying to just figure out what was going on around me and never was able stay out of the snare he set around me. If she hasn't ruined your credit, your job, your finances, your family relations or your credibility consider yourself blessed. My house was under electronic surveillance for well over a year before I realized it and by then my world had crumbled and I didn't know how to protect myself. Once you decide to leave make sure you secure every and anything that could be used to harm you. If you go back on your decision, she'll only energize her scheme and hurt you further. Also be safe and do nothing that can be twisted fabricated against you. Be safe.

To be completely honest

I will likely never recover, she was and always will be the love of my life. But it is ok, I think she may end up happier in the end since she will be able to talk with all of her friends and family instead of being on the damn computer all of the time. And she wont have me constantly looking over her back so to speak...so she will be free again. Free to live the life she lived before. I think that type of life is revolting but to some who do not know any better it is a good life to them.

Some things you can change, Others you can not....I just refused to accept it. Bad habit of stubborness I carry with me.

I do still hold out a hope even if so very slight things work out, but I am realistic and know what is to come. It is sad to me when I think that I may never speak with her again once she leaves.

OK...no more being a whinny cry baby right. responses welcome to what needs to be done.

Don't worry about not recovering quickly. Heal your heart and the rest will come

It gave me chills. Nobody deseves this that has happened to you, the heart is nothing to play with. Your not a cry baby, your human.

Dump the ######, find another when your heart is ready. There is someone out there for you who will treat you as you treat her. Protect yourself as one poster mentioned, your assets, credit and all else. God bless you, you will survive this.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am so sorry it has all turned out like this. You are wise to get out now as you would never be happy with this woman no matter how hard you tried. A good marriage takes two people working on it. Since her AOS has not yet been approved you need to move quickly to withdraw your affidavit of support. Without that the AOS cannot be approved. Follow the advice given here to notify USCIS officially. It would also be a good idea to make that infopass and advise them of what your experience has been AND in person advise them that you are withdrawing the affidavit of support. Take several avenues to notify them of its withdrawal to make sure it gets into the system asap - before a decision is made on her AOS.

Again, I am so sorry. Good luck to you.

Edited March 17, 2009 by Kathryn41

[MashaJam 0]

How much time did you spend getting to know this woman in person or on the phone before arriving in the US?

What percentage did your relationship rely on emails or other non- traditional means?

What alerted you be suspicious of her? i.e. personality change, disinterest, argumentative, etc..

I know of several similar cases, some lasting 8 years or more before suddenly ending for financial gain and immigration status. Talk about insideous!

This is a tough thing to go through, but be glad that you didn't have to suffer through years of abuse and neglect.

How do you know when someone is REALLY in love with you?

[kcoyclay1 98]

Hello again

I am posting again after trying to gather as much information as I could to make the most logical decision.

I did speak with my wife regarding the letter I posted in topic:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=180170

I asked for several things, her removal of all the 12 or so different email addresses she had, the 61 year old pimp is now in total control of these emails as they hacked my computer obtained my email information and then tried to hide as best they could the email info so that I could not walk right back in and read some even worse emails(yes, there are worse ones than the one I posted)

So after sitting back and logically thinking this though and after having what I call a mini-argument. My wife flat out punched me in the face closed fisted. I do not know the reason or the intent, perhaps she thought I might hit her back so she could claim abuse? But as I said before, I would never hit a woman so I took her punching me in the face as the final step in a long line of LIES and DECIEPT from her.

Give me information on how to pull the Adjustment of Status paperwork. I contact USCIS? Do I need to fill out a form? Do I go into their office personally?(It is close to where I live)

I have officially given up, I tried, I tried, and I tried. You can't make someone love you who has given her heart to someone else, funny...he is a 61 year old pimp low class contractor working in his 60s. I did what I could though and I now see that in about 2 years time I will probably be divorced and her with her greencard. Which is fine, I do love her...but to decieve me to get me to pay her a monthly monetary sum of money as noted in the affidavate of support I can not just sit idly by or to have to try to defend myself in court to a false accusation of abuse.

Thanks for the advise those of you give to me in advance. Please no inflammatory comments. Just a step by step procedure to go about withdrawing myself from the AOS.

Mark

I read your post and based on what you have posted you have enough to proof that she is using you. You got married two months ago and she has an email like that from someone saying he would like to be married to her and giving her legal advice on how to get you to support her? You need to make sure that you have a complete print-out of that email with whom it is coming from etc so that you can use it against her. That is really sad and worst of all she is abusing you? You need to report what she has done and not to be embarrassed about it. You are safeguarding yourself by not hitting her and that is nothing to be embarrassed about. Not reporting it might just seem as if you are lying or something. You say that she is the love of your life but there is no abuse in true love. Clearly you are not the love of her life from her emails and the way she mistreats you. Be wise my dear and walk away from this farce and fraud of an abuser.

[Cham 3]

To be completely honest

I will likely never recover, she was and always will be the love of my life. But it is ok, I think she may end up happier in the end since she will be able to talk with all of her friends and family instead of being on the damn computer all of the time. And she wont have me constantly looking over her back so to speak...so she will be free again. Free to live the life she lived before. I think that type of life is revolting but to some who do not know any better it is a good life to them.

Some things you can change, Others you can not....I just refused to accept it. Bad habit of stubborness I carry with me.

I do still hold out a hope even if so very slight things work out, but I am realistic and know what is to come. It is sad to me when I think that I may never speak with her again once she leaves.

OK...no more being a whinny cry baby right. responses welcome to what needs to be done.

Sweetie you been had. She used you to get her other older man *home* to the usa. You were used plain and simple by fraud. It does happen a lot you are not alone...

I would take the advice of others and report BOTH of them. She is JUST as guilty.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Fax and mail and email USCIS, your local office, etc. ASAP. Also, call them to confirm they got your communications. That should help them to close the case. I don't think it is a bit issue, if anything it's probably one less headache they need to worry about. Sorry to hear about your situation, I've been in a similar one before, she does not deserve to be here if it is that bad. We have enough issues with immigration (legal and non) as it is in the US

[GiGii 4]

Do as everyone has suggested, withdraw your affidavit of support, don't go to the AOS interview. If she's on any joint accounts, credit cards, boot her off of them! When you divorce, request she sign a doc saying she entered the marriage NOT IN GOOD FAITH, and it has resulted in dissolution.

One thing to add, you dont owe her $17,500 per year under the affidavit of support. You are responsible if she would take out charges on the gov't, like food stamps, welfare etc. Even healthcare (although covered under the affidavit of support), is hard to pin to you.

I'd advise to stop being sappy, and show your backbone, this skank has a 60yr old pimp professing he wants to be her lover no matter what marriage she's in. That is sick. If I found out who he was, I'd get a restraining order so he can't come near the house to see her when you arent there.

Be honest, and tell her "this $hit isn't going to fly here."

[chispas 0]

Do as everyone has suggested, withdraw your affidavit of support, don't go to the AOS interview. If she's on any joint accounts, credit cards, boot her off of them! When you divorce, request she sign a doc saying she entered the marriage NOT IN GOOD FAITH, and it has resulted in dissolution.

One thing to add, you dont owe her $17,500 per year under the affidavit of support. You are responsible if she would take out charges on the gov't, like food stamps, welfare etc. Even healthcare (although covered under the affidavit of support), is hard to pin to you.

I'd advise to stop being sappy, and show your backbone, this skank has a 60yr old pimp professing he wants to be her lover no matter what marriage she's in. That is sick. If I found out who he was, I'd get a restraining order so he can't come near the house to see her when you arent there.

Be honest, and tell her "this $hit isn't going to fly here."

I second this suggestion. Don't go to the interview no matter what. Even if you think you can plead your case while there, the best move is to not go at all. Also, make sure that you keep your address on file with them because if you give them her address they'll start sending correspondence there and you'll be out of the loop totally. Please don't go to the interview no matter what.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Do as everyone has suggested, withdraw your affidavit of support, don't go to the AOS interview. If she's on any joint accounts, credit cards, boot her off of them! When you divorce, request she sign a doc saying she entered the marriage NOT IN GOOD FAITH, and it has resulted in dissolution.

One thing to add, you dont owe her $17,500 per year under the affidavit of support. You are responsible if she would take out charges on the gov't, like food stamps, welfare etc. Even healthcare (although covered under the affidavit of support), is hard to pin to you.

This is why you withdraw your affidavit of support. You have no financial liability for her now, but if the AOS is approved with the affidavit of support in place, then you are on the hook to repay the Government if she ever does file for any means-tested benefits, ie. welfare, etc. It doesn't end with divorce but ends when she gets 40 quarters of qualified work (10 years), leaves the country permanently, becomes a US citizen or either one of you dies. That is why you need to withdraw the Affidavit of Support NOW ASAP because you don't want to be financially liable for her. Once the Affidavit of Support is withdrawn, her AOS cannot be approved because there is no one who is accepting financial liability for her.

Good advice above to remove her name from joint accounts - even if it means closing those accounts and re-opening them in your name only, and removing her from your credit cards.

Edited March 18, 2009 by Kathryn41