Help! He played me....

[govols 0]

I'd love to call momma in Egypt and tell her all and the truth. He'd be crushed at the thought of his mother being disappointed in him. Problem is.... she doesn't speak english.

His sister is in Sharm El Sheik (working) and is the only other person in the house who speaks english. There's no telling what he will tell her about us divorcing, etc.

Over there, if there's a divorce, it's assumed that the woman is at fault (no matter the circumstances) because she should have done more to make her husband happy and to make the marriage work. For instance, not argue with the husband.

Jen

You guys/gals are great!

On the slim chance that his mother doesn't already *know* him for the deceitful person that he really is, perhaps you could let her believe whatever she chooses. I have a feeling that anyone heartless enough inside to use you to gain residency has shown his true colours to his family in the past. They might not be a shocked at learning this than you expect.

Please bear in mind that one can look over all that has happened and look for the red flags, or see things now that might have caused you to wonder, but the truth of the matter is similar to an explanation I once heard that goes like this.

An arhitectural firm assured a Prison Warden that security systems and cell design with an eye to enhanced security would be its foremost concern and they'd make sure it was impossible to compromise, when receiving the bid for a new maximum security facility. The Warden said, "Yes, but it won't be possible to make anything that secure". "Oh, we assure you we will" the architect replied. At which point the Warden said, "In all due respect, you and your design team will toil over the plans for 8 hours, possibly more a day to come up with a secure building, while each inmate has already and will continue to be working 24 hours on how to break it".

The point? People who can betray the trust of a spouse and commit fraud are one, two or three steps ahead of the unwitting partner. Think nothing of what you could have should have done differently, chances are there wasn't. People who can stoop to do things like this are smooth operators and have all contingencies planned, and covered. They are professional at it!

That was a very good analogy!

[M+S 0]

1

. I am fat (but cute ) 2. I am 10 years older than he 3. I wasn't a virgin 4. I cannot have kids without intervention (cut tubes) 5. There was no engagement ring 6. Rings weren't that important to him (seemingly) 7. There was no wedding party in his country (we could have), no matter how many times I inquired.

Culturally, I was NOTHING he would have married. That crosses all international lines, truly. I was good for my citizenship only, bottom line.

Wow I am so surprised the US embassy gave him the visa !!!! No wedding ring and no Wedding Party !!!!My god he didn't have to prove there is real marriage!!!???

I think from these 2 lines I just made sure he is an ####### and he just married you for a visa ..Of course you are really beautiful I love your photo you have very beautiful smile..But US embassy is full of men like this I met an American woman who was married twice to Egyptian men and they both used her for a visa one of them was having an affair with her sister and he was rude enough to say to "Thank you for the GC after he got it!!!" and the other kiddnapped her in the desert outside Cairo preventing her to contact anyone and has made it to escape tothe Embassy in Cairo that day I was there notarizing my marriage paper !!!!

God be with you and help you get over this Pain and Burden ...take care

and my Advice is " DO YOUR BEST TO KICK HIM OUT OF USA"

[jenprincess1 0]

Yeah, well..... I had already decided that she will have to believe whatever she chooses. However, I am sure that he won't be telling her the truth as to the reasons for the split. I don't believe she knew this "plan". All of that is neither here nor there I suppose..... I said I WOULD LIKE to tell momma.

I just believe in the truth. And that was a good analogy Mermaid.

Jen

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

The point? People who can betray the trust of a spouse and commit fraud are one, two or three steps ahead of the unwitting partner. Think nothing of what you could have should have done differently, chances are there wasn't. People who can stoop to do things like this are smooth operators and have all contingencies planned, and covered. They are professional at it!

very wise . that's why it's best to pick someone with character.

[jenprincess1 0]

Thank you.

I don't believe I'll be doing it again. I love Egyptians, the country, etc.... but they would have to be HERE already for me to believe in them.

A few other things I've thought about as indicators of this problem that he exibihited:

1. He didn't assimilate well or even try to, once here.

2. Not interested in meeting any of my friends or co-workers.

3. He told me a few times during different arguments that I "wasn't as smart as I thought I was". That did pique my suspicions as to what he was really referring to..... and now we know.

4. He didn't care to go to school and learn more english (free) to advance his opportunities.

5. Didn't have a problem leaving me behind to seek employment (even though he swore we'd never be apart again).

6. Made new "rules and regulations" that never existed the whole time we lived together in Kuwait.

7. Insisted on his own bank acct., even though he doesn't know how to run one (and did go get one behind my back).

Of course, all these things come to mind and come together better after the mountain falls. It's hard to sort these things and see them clearly when "in love". I will run when any of these things appear with another.

I would like to just skip the whole relationship thing, since people are so hard to trust anymore, for a plethura of reasons. While I am not a person who feels lonely, I realistically don't wish to be alone forever. I am content alone, but when I get old, I will need someone to bug!

Jen

charlesandnessa.......

He appeared to have good character, in fact excellent character. He was coached. He did a great job! He deserves an academy, really!

Edited June 22, 2006 by jenprincess1

[non 0]

1. If he received his 10 year GC by mistake then his is still obligated to apply to remove conditions, may get complicated if he does not know/do that.

Right, in fact if he doesn't apply to remove the conditions he would be out of status and subject to removal. Hmm. I'd keep that one under my hat if all else fails!

2. He can apply either with you or divorced, but not seperated.

Right, he'd have to file a waiver of the joint filing requirement once divorced.

3. I am sure USCIS receive many complaints from disappointed spouses, unless you have real solid evidence, forget it. Not sure what credibility an affadavit from an ex would have.

I would imagine that any affidavit that corroborates the USC's own report of fraud would carry weight. One of the most difficult issues with reporting a marriage entered into solely for immigration benefit, is that often there is little in the way of clear proof. Many spouses "sense" or "suspect" but can't offer definitive evidence. At times, there are those alien buffoons that even announce that they did it to the USC spouse, but it can become a "he said/she said" situation. Having declared something to a third party however, might provide USCIS with more of a suspicion and cause overcoming it a little more daunting for the alien that has duped a USC spouse.

4. You should be concentrating on Divorce proceedings, but you are stuck with the Affadavit of Support. By the sound of it your biggest worry would be if he sought to enforce it.

If a report of fraud is filed, and USCIS follows it up and a subsequent I-751 waiver is denied, the Affidavit falls with the status. Likewise if a permanent green card is rescinded, the same goes.

5. If he is seeking US Citizenship, he will have to wait 5 years instead of 3.

True.

You know Jen I think if he is in Las Vegas the odds are hes not being celibate, hire someone to take pictures may be a lil costly but then again its solid proof that it was not you he was in love with but your country. And its sure is grounds for divorce.

[Caladan 19]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[jenprincess1 0]

I am not wasting any more energy and money on him. I don't care if he's celibate. If a notarized affidavit from someone he made those statements to and the fact that he left me so very soon after getting here in the US (keep in mind that we were in Egypt from 02/02 til 04/13) aren't evidence enough, then immigration will never do their jobs properly. God knows we can't get them to do it now.

Jen

Edited June 22, 2006 by jenprincess1

[nayalamb 0]

i'm so sorry for what you are going thru jen. you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. after you report his butt to USCIS, have yourself a celebration weekend. take your best girls and go to the spa and get pampered, then have a little party with a cake and some bubbly. because you are getting someone manipulative and toxic out of your life. that is cause for great celebration. onward to a happier chapter in your life. its gonna take time of course... but you will heal and you'll be wiser and stronger for it.

i am amazed at how tough you are. i would be mental by now... not to mention vengeful... but you're handling it all with grace and dignity. YOU GO GIRL!

i wish you well during this rough time and we're all firmly in your corner.

(and karma will definitely bite his a$$ soon... have an extra glass of champagne when it does )

*HUGS*

[Karen_L 1]

I'm so sorry! It is perfectly understandable that you believed he loved you and that he was being sincere. None of this is your fault AT ALL. I hope you feel better and I hope he one day feels the weight of guilt for his behavior towards you all this time! ::hug::

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I am not wasting any more energy and money on him. I don't care if he's celibate. If a notarized affidavit from someone he made those statements to and the fact that he left me so very soon after getting here in the US (keep in mind that we were in Egypt from 02/02 til 04/13) aren't evidence enough, then immigration will never do their jobs properly. God knows we can't get them to do it now.

Jen

That's the spirit, in fact, I'll add my tuppence to the above suggestion. Proof that he is not faithful would be moot a this point, in fact, it would cloud the issue of this marriage having been fraudulently induced. The regulations are clear as to the intent upon entering the marriage only. You don't wish to add any element of a scorned spouse into the mix. Be clear, concise and as factual as possible, without emotion, if possible. A timeline of events and facts to corroborate should demonstrate the scheme he had in mind.

[iceyspots 0]

I'd love to call momma in Egypt and tell her all and the truth. He'd be crushed at the thought of his mother being disappointed in him. Problem is.... she doesn't speak english.

His sister is in Sharm El Sheik (working) and is the only other person in the house who speaks english. There's no telling what he will tell her about us divorcing, etc.

Over there, if there's a divorce, it's assumed that the woman is at fault (no matter the circumstances) because she should have done more to make her husband happy and to make the marriage work. For instance, not argue with the husband.

Jen

You guys/gals are great!

I've heard many stories that in Egypt, often the families are in on the fraud too.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I am not wasting any more energy and money on him. I don't care if he's celibate. If a notarized affidavit from someone he made those statements to and the fact that he left me so very soon after getting here in the US (keep in mind that we were in Egypt from 02/02 til 04/13) aren't evidence enough, then immigration will never do their jobs properly. God knows we can't get them to do it now.

Jen

That's the spirit, in fact, I'll add my tuppence to the above suggestion. Proof that he is not faithful would be moot a this point, in fact, it would cloud the issue of this marriage having been fraudulently induced. The regulations are clear as to the intent upon entering the marriage only. You don't wish to add any element of a scorned spouse into the mix. Be clear, concise and as factual as possible, without emotion, if possible. A timeline of events and facts to corroborate should demonstrate the scheme he had in mind.

Damn, diaddie, you iz cold. I like it.

[anya-D 8]

I know i'm a bit late but I'd like to add my good wish for you... HUGS

[iceyspots 0]

::crunches on popcorn: