Help! He played me....

[Melo 1]

I admire Jen - she is not being vengeful despite her heart-break... vengeance is a self-destructive emotion... and she has risen above that... kudos to you Jen... you are an inspiration to all. Much love to you. ((((HUGS))))

[tmma 467]

In my opinion there is nothing vengeful about "self protection" and protecting her finances from an affadavit that was obtained by him fraudulently. That was my advice-not so much revenge. Self protection

Edited June 21, 2006 by tmma

[Fandango 1,439]

go figure, I agree with Tmma

[tnh9479 1]

Jen,

I am sorry you are having to go through this. The only ray of positive light: you found out about this EARLY on in his stay here. I think people have revoked their affidavit of support before. I really would talk to USCIS...maybe schedule an infopass appointment and find out from an immigration officer what you should do and when you should do it. Just cover all the bases and protect yourself!

Sending you a HUGE hug!

Twila

[Boiler 45,525]

I have seen quite a few posts of this nature, usually from Men who have been through the Russian/Phillipines scam.

For some reason when you see it from women it is is North Africa/ Middle East.

I am sure somebody could do an interesting research paper examing and explaing the reasons, I could make a short handed obvious comment but it would have no point.

Assuming that the USCIS would rescind his status on the basis of what has been said so far is a long shot, a very long shot.

The general rule here is to gorget his status issues, his problem, concentrate on dealing with your issues.

Do not assume USCIS will sort out the problem.

[Melo 1]

Self-protection is a must... that goes without saying... I would not advocate anything but that... I will not however advocate being vengeful... she does not need to go out of her way to get him kicked out of the country... she reports the matter to the USCIS - they can decide what is what... anything excessive would be vegeance... that is not a good emotion..

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

... I would do anything in my power to get him deported. That SOB took your time and your money-so #### him. You have all the power.

how very forgiving and christian of you, anna! is simply telling the truth not good enough in her case? i don't think seeking revenge is the answer here. she's been given some great advice and i don't think your hateful comments are necessary ... try and remember that she's heartbroken right now.

Woot, A Perfect Circle reference!

Sorry to hear what happened

[gimygirl 0]

Woot, A Perfect Circle reference!

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Dear Jen:

After reading your initial post as well as the later updated and all of the details that you have shared with us my heart really goes out to you…You have endured so much and I think that you are an admirable and courageous woman…it takes a lot to be able to open up the way you did and I it is a good thing that you are dealing with this horrendous situation the way you do…I am truly sorry for what have happened to you and as few other people have said, please do not feel foolish…this could possibly happen to anyone who is involved in a long distance, international or intercultural relationship…There are unfortunately sick people out there who go thru life taking advantage of good-hearted individuals like yourself…Karma, as said on few posts above, will catch up with this man sooner or latter and I believe that the universe will make him pay for your anguish and suffering…I think that you should explore all of your options as to what can be done to revoke his green card…some members posted that it is possible so please do so…he should not be enjoying the fruits of his deception…it break my heart to see when such despicable acts are happening to good people and I feel that you will be able to get thru this difficult times…remember that the VJ community is here for you and will provide you with some sense of support…you are not alone…Please concentrate on healing process…get this individual removed from your life as soon as possible and slowly begin the recovery process…not an easy one once the trust that you had in people has been violated to the such degree by this horrible individual. Remember, you are a beautiful person who just stumbled on a real bad seed…stay strong and stay well…my thoughts and prayers are with you… I hope that you will find your peace and move on with you life…please keep us informed…we are here for you

Dorothy

[Emo 0]

Hello Everyone,

I haven't been here in MONTHS. It is because I've been going through a LOT of pain and disappointment. I have had my husband here since October, '05. To cut to the chase, he has bailed in less than the 8 months he was here. He is under the impression that if he divorces me, he'll have to leave, but if I do it, he can stay. I know he's been advised by some of his buddies..... but I honestly have no idea.

I am so hurt by all the lies that I absolutely am of no mind to look it up right now. It took them so damned long to get him here (17 months), that they sent him a permanent resident card good for ten years, even though we were only married two years as of March of this year. I need to know consequences for myself. I need to know if he can stay? I need to know LOTS of stuff!!

I gave him all the opportunities to "fess up". My suspicions were based on his behavior and statements. However, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. Anyone would like to keep believing that the person who keeps professing his love, really DOES love them. I know FOR SURE NOW, due to his confessions to my "ex" (daughter's father), made freely...... that his plan was to come and make me tired of him, so I would send him away or divorce him. However, it didn't work quite that way. He finally just told me (from Las Vegas) that he "wants to just be alone"..... I am in Missouri.

Well kids, that's the summary........ I will fill in details as needed (asked). Is there anyone who just already has some knowledge on this subject, either from experience or having read it here?? I am soooooooo sick of this heartache. I know I shouldn't feel foolish, but I do. I was completely honest. I always am..... I am most disappointed when others are not. Especially when the "others" use someone's heart/kindness in the process.

Thank you all. I am sorry I've been missing so long...... crises take MUCH attention.

Jen

It's over. Move on and Smile

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't want to sound harsh or anything like that because my heart does well and truly go out to you, but at the end of the day this azzhole rode your coattails into this country, so you must do everything you can to see him removed.

[Ladylethal 12]

I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I hope you'll recover soon and get your happiness back.

[seldi 1]

I'm so sorry

[rclouse 0]

I don't want to sound harsh or anything like that because my heart does well and truly go out to you, but at the end of the day this azzhole rode your coattails into this country, so you must do everything you can to see him removed.

I disagree. CYA, of course, let USCIS know what happened, but other than that just move on. From what Jen was saying he wasn't doing a good job assimilating. He'll fall on his ### sooner or later. Then she'll get the last laugh.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I admire Jen - she is not being vengeful despite her heart-break... vengeance is a self-destructive emotion... and she has risen above that... kudos to you Jen... you are an inspiration to all. Much love to you. ((((HUGS))))

I disagree. Vengeance is cleansing.