Help! He played me....

[Welshcookie 17]

[*Robert* 2]

*MWAH* To my welsh cake!!!

[jenprincess1 0]

Peggy, Cami, Shonjaved, Lynne, Maryum, Alexa, Frances, Roi_aggie.......

Thank you ALL and all the others soooooooooo much. I am trying to smile. Having you from VJ has helped considerably, truly.

NEW INFO:

I had a passenger in my cab just two nights ago that looked familiar to me. It's because she is in a couple of pics from his job at a pizza place. While driving, we talked and I found out a couple more jems about my "wonderful husband". He always told me not to come up to his job. It p*ssed me off, but I respected it. I asked his sister, she confirmed that he had always been like that and was the same with her and his mother about not coming to his job. Ok.

She said her and Amir were friends and still kept in contact. She and he didn't have anything going, but come to find out .... he was hitting on a different girl at work, had actually asked her out! He had them ALL charmed. He's like that. He's good at flirting and charming. He'd said something about "married" and when they asked, he said "NO, just kidding".

He was invited by them all (the girls) to go out to a bar (I guess that would have been when he was trying to get me to go for believing that he was wanting to attend a party put on by his male co-worker...... I freaked on him) He actually was suggesting that he attend said party ALONE!! Are you kidding me?? Why wouldn't you WANT to take your spouse to a party? Anyway, he didn't go. I know NOW that he told them that he didn't go to bars, due to religious reasons. That's bunk. He will go, but not drink.

I told her who I was (after letting her tell me a few things about Amir, when I asked if she knew him). She was very shocked. I watched her reaction in the mirror. She admitted to me that she was shocked too. She now knows a lot of the story and is disgusted. I was able to tell her of some of his charming ways and sayings. I told her the things he said to me. She asked how long we'd been together. I told her he wasted three years of my life and that we'd been married for two in March. Funny though, we were only together almost 12 months out of those three years. I guess he was having a ball while I was waiting for him, WITHOUT, here.

He's sooooo not a man. I am so disappointed in him as a human being. I am not surprised by the things she told me, but I am still amazed. Oh yeah...... he also invited her out to Vegas (he'll buy her a ticket) to come "hang out" with him, because he is so happy that he "has a good friend" like her. She's 19. Nice guy, huh?

I have a very good friend that I've always kept in contact with from Kuwait. She is Egyptian/Palistinian and educated in the US and Britain. She is down to earth, intelligent, hilarious, 6'3", veiled (simply, no fancy scarves), and very Americanized in many different ways/behaviors. She'd make a great comedian, really.

Of course, when I told her about this fiasco, she made no bones about telling me "I told you so". She is very blunt and straightforward. She DID tell me from the BEGINNING that my husband's intentions weren't what he claimed. She knew, because she knows the culture. I should have believed/trusted her judgment.

I didn't, because I already had feelings for him and didn't know how to "remedy" it. So, I just confronted him and asked him ..... which just gave him more opportunity to earn that ACADEMY AWARD he so richly deserves. I believed him, because that was what my heart wanted to believe. All the suspicions and misgivings I had were canceled out by him, of course. I gave him all the power in that department.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS NEW CONCLUSION: I believe NOW (after having spoken to my "I told ya so" friend) that his mother and family MUST know/have known. She made me see the logic in it .... to get them to accept this marriage (marrying someone who would NEVER have been acceptable by Egyptian standards (if I were Egyptian)), he had to explain to them the WHOLE PLAN.

Also, his mother has pictures (only a few) of just him and/or just his sister in the living room. None of us (he and I) or just me. I thought it odd, but said nothing. NOW, it makes sense. Even him introducing me to other extended members of his family doesn't matter. I thought that since he did, he surely wasn't "one of those guys that scammed some poor, unsuspecting American female". RIIIIIIGHT. I'm now sure that they all must have known too. I can now just imagine the comments before/after my arrival at each place: "Amir's bringing his American wife, the one that got him the visa. OMG! That's her?? (snicker, snicker)"

Sad that a fellow muslim and WOMAN would be OK with her son doing this to another woman, no matter the reason.

See why I've been fkd up? The heart and brain just couldn't agree with any of this. He has had me so twisted. I didn't listen to my "gut" and inner alarms when the where trying to tell me, because I allowed my heart to shut them up. He knew that. He used it. One of his favorite sayings was "Baby, I love your heart" and "I love you because you are a good woman and you have a very good/big heart".

He was fond of telling me a few different times, during arguments that I "wasn't as smart as I thought I was", which also made something in the back of my head question why he'd say that. I mean, really why.

I do have a good heart, a DEAF AND BLIND ONE. And I may not be as "smart as I think I am", but I'm smarter THAN HE THINKS I AM. B)

Jen

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Awwwww Jen I know this is so painful. My heart is breaking for you.

You didn't deserve being treated like that. I know this experience has been a horribly difficult section of your life's path and your dreams have been shattered, but insha'allah it's all part of the road that will finally lead you to true happiness. Yes there are scoundrels in the world and I am so very sorry that you had to go through this with one of them, but there are also many other good men who would truly love and appreciate you. Insha'allah you will soon be free to find your real heart's desire.

Thoughts and prayers with you as you try to heal your heart and move forward.

-MK

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Peggy, Cami, Shonjaved, Lynne, Maryum, Alexa, Frances, Roi_aggie.......

Thank you ALL and all the others soooooooooo much. I am trying to smile. Having you from VJ has helped considerably, truly.

NEW INFO:

I had a passenger in my cab just two nights ago that looked familiar to me. It's because she is in a couple of pics from his job at a pizza place. While driving, we talked and I found out a couple more jems about my "wonderful husband". He always told me not to come up to his job. It p*ssed me off, but I respected it. I asked his sister, she confirmed that he had always been like that and was the same with her and his mother about not coming to his job. Ok.

She said her and Amir were friends and still kept in contact. She and he didn't have anything going, but come to find out .... he was hitting on a different girl at work, had actually asked her out! He had them ALL charmed. He's like that. He's good at flirting and charming. He'd said something about "married" and when they asked, he said "NO, just kidding".

He was invited by them all (the girls) to go out to a bar (I guess that would have been when he was trying to get me to go for believing that he was wanting to attend a party put on by his male co-worker...... I freaked on him) He actually was suggesting that he attend said party ALONE!! Are you kidding me?? Why wouldn't you WANT to take your spouse to a party? Anyway, he didn't go. I know NOW that he told them that he didn't go to bars, due to religious reasons. That's bunk. He will go, but not drink.

I told her who I was (after letting her tell me a few things about Amir, when I asked if she knew him). She was very shocked. I watched her reaction in the mirror. She admitted to me that she was shocked too. She now knows a lot of the story and is disgusted. I was able to tell her of some of his charming ways and sayings. I told her the things he said to me. She asked how long we'd been together. I told her he wasted three years of my life and that we'd been married for two in March. Funny though, we were only together almost 12 months out of those three years. I guess he was having a ball while I was waiting for him, WITHOUT, here.

He's sooooo not a man. I am so disappointed in him as a human being. I am not surprised by the things she told me, but I am still amazed. Oh yeah...... he also invited her out to Vegas (he'll buy her a ticket) to come "hang out" with him, because he is so happy that he "has a good friend" like her. She's 19. Nice guy, huh?

I have a very good friend that I've always kept in contact with from Kuwait. She is Egyptian/Palistinian and educated in the US and Britain. She is down to earth, intelligent, hilarious, 6'3", veiled (simply, no fancy scarves), and very Americanized in many different ways/behaviors. She'd make a great comedian, really.

Of course, when I told her about this fiasco, she made no bones about telling me "I told you so". She is very blunt and straightforward. She DID tell me from the BEGINNING that my husband's intentions weren't what he claimed. She knew, because she knows the culture. I should have believed/trusted her judgment.

I didn't, because I already had feelings for him and didn't know how to "remedy" it. So, I just confronted him and asked him ..... which just gave him more opportunity to earn that ACADEMY AWARD he so richly deserves. I believed him, because that was what my heart wanted to believe. All the suspicions and misgivings I had were canceled out by him, of course. I gave him all the power in that department.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS NEW CONCLUSION: I believe NOW (after having spoken to my "I told ya so" friend) that his mother and family MUST know/have known. She made me see the logic in it .... to get them to accept this marriage (marrying someone who would NEVER have been acceptable by Egyptian standards (if I were Egyptian)), he had to explain to them the WHOLE PLAN.

Also, his mother has pictures (only a few) of just him and/or just his sister in the living room. None of us (he and I) or just me. I thought it odd, but said nothing. NOW, it makes sense. Even him introducing me to other extended members of his family doesn't matter. I thought that since he did, he surely wasn't "one of those guys that scammed some poor, unsuspecting American female". RIIIIIIGHT. I'm now sure that they all must have known too. I can now just imagine the comments before/after my arrival at each place: "Amir's bringing his American wife, the one that got him the visa. OMG! That's her?? (snicker, snicker)"

Sad that a fellow muslim and WOMAN would be OK with her son doing this to another woman, no matter the reason.

See why I've been fkd up? The heart and brain just couldn't agree with any of this. He has had me so twisted. I didn't listen to my "gut" and inner alarms when the where trying to tell me, because I allowed my heart to shut them up. He knew that. He used it. One of his favorite sayings was "Baby, I love your heart" and "I love you because you are a good woman and you have a very good/big heart".

He was fond of telling me a few different times, during arguments that I "wasn't as smart as I thought I was", which also made something in the back of my head question why he'd say that. I mean, really why.

I do have a good heart, a DEAF AND BLIND ONE. And I may not be as "smart as I think I am", but I'm smarter THAN HE THINKS I AM. B)

Jen

jen... *hugs*

every day is a new, bright and shining day with wonderful possibilities... if you ever need me... i think you have my yahoo messenger id... USE IT...

just know i am ALWAYS praying for you... i think you are just fantastic... and he was just a jerk... one day, his charm and suave ways will wear off... and he will be left... all alone... with nothing...

my mom always said... WHAT GOES AROUND... COMES AROUND... and when it comes around to bite ya in the #######... it is ALWAYS 10 times worse...

while you will grow and flourish emotionally... he will not...

you are on a healing path... Thank God...

*hugs again*

God Bless,

Lynne

[jenprincess1 0]

Thanks MK and Lynne.

But Lynne,

The unfortunate part regarding him being alone is just not so. In Egypt, a woman's worth boils down to whether or not she's married and can/does have children. If a man divorces her, it was/is her fault. Therefore, women put up with waaaaaaay more than we would/do, just to stay married and not lose status. Even if they've been educated, they mostly end up married and not working (sometimes, but rarely working), because that's what they're supposed to do. (message there is: You can have a brain, but don't need to use it).

A cousin of his (he mentioned, but I didn't meet) will likely be his bride, eventually. She is not working, pretty, sexy (he told me), and sitting home daily ..... likely waiting for him to return. He did mention in March (when we were there this year) that he'd told her mother that upon return from Kuwait, he'd marry her (but met me instead, HA!). The loser in that deal will be her, since he's a LIAR AND A CAD. He will make a lousy husband, because one would need to be a MAN to accomplish that role in life. Poor girl.

Jen

[TracyTN 237]

..the captain thinks you are a chopf##k...

I am actually very aware of that.

he thinks i am one too...hang around for awhile..this place is peaking for some drama and a good instigator is needed

You know what, to hell with this. I quit VJ. This is my last post.

Your last post for today?!

Or last post ever?!

..the captain thinks you are a chopf##k...

I am actually very aware of that.

he thinks i am one too...hang around for awhile..this place is peaking for some drama and a good instigator is needed

Get TracyTN... she's available!!!

I resemble that remark!!!!

Whaddya need, who can I annoy today???

(I can't believe I'm just now seeing this!!! Tho the cookie is right about impending laundry!)

[sukie175 0]

Jen, I said it earlier but after reading more I will say it again...I am soooo sorry and I really am glad to hear you angry, as that is the stage before you start to heal

Sarah

[jenprincess1 0]

Sarah,

I am now calculating my steps for recovery. B)

Jen

Thank You!

[Yodrak 7]

Agent Smith,

It also has a tendancy to backfire.

Yodrak

I admire Jen - she is not being vengeful despite her heart-break... vengeance is a self-destructive emotion... and she has risen above that... kudos to you Jen... you are an inspiration to all. Much love to you. ((((HUGS))))

I disagree. Vengeance is cleansing.

Edited June 26, 2006 by Yodrak

[jenprincess1 0]

Agent Smith,

It also has a tendancy to backfire.

Yodrak

I admire Jen - she is not being vengeful despite her heart-break... vengeance is a self-destructive emotion... and she has risen above that... kudos to you Jen... you are an inspiration to all. Much love to you. ((((HUGS))))

I disagree. Vengeance is cleansing.

Exactly, Yodrak. Hence the reason I shall not stoop lower than he. And luckily for him, I won't even get on his level. I believe it would take too much from me spiritually and financially and he shall not get more! It is not in my character to intentionally hurt someone, even when they've done so to me.

Jen

[jenprincess1 0]

Agent Smith,

It also has a tendancy to backfire.

Yodrak

I admire Jen - she is not being vengeful despite her heart-break... vengeance is a self-destructive emotion... and she has risen above that... kudos to you Jen... you are an inspiration to all. Much love to you. ((((HUGS))))

I disagree. Vengeance is cleansing.

Exactly, Yodrak. Hence the reason I shall not stoop lower than he. And luckily for him, I won't even get on his level. I believe it would take too much from me spiritually and financially and he shall not get more! It is not in my character to intentionally hurt someone, even when they've done so to me.

Jen

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

Exactly, Yodrak. Hence the reason I shall not stoop lower than he. And luckily for him, I won't even get on his level. I believe it would take too much from me spiritually and financially and he shall not get more! It is not in my character to intentionally hurt someone, even when they've done so to me.

Jen

i say hunt him down and castrate him save someone else the misery

[jenprincess1 0]

Exactly, Yodrak. Hence the reason I shall not stoop lower than he. And luckily for him, I won't even get on his level. I believe it would take too much from me spiritually and financially and he shall not get more! It is not in my character to intentionally hurt someone, even when they've done so to me.

Jen

i say hunt him down and castrate him save someone else the misery

Once upon a time, I thought he was worth the time and trouble to bring him here. I was wrong. I don't want to be more wrong!

[almaty 19]

Exactly, Yodrak. Hence the reason I shall not stoop lower than he. And luckily for him, I won't even get on his level. I believe it would take too much from me spiritually and financially and he shall not get more! It is not in my character to intentionally hurt someone, even when they've done so to me.

Jen

i say hunt him down and castrate him save someone else the misery

Once upon a time, I thought he was worth the time and trouble to bring him here. I was wrong. I don't want to be more wrong!

good thinking sister jen