Legal Advise Please Husband Abandoned Me

[Mt. Salem Queen 0]

I never thought I'd be posting that I think I got used, but that's exactly what I think. The capability of a "long con" from some of these men is mind boggling. This was planned in advance, and I wouldn't doubt he was coached through it by friends already here. Crazy stuff.

I am impressed with how in-touch you are with your inner emotions - that means you're an incredibly strong woman. Own that. I also applaud you for not hiding behind the shame/humiliation. Your willingness to so accurately describe your experience in detail says a great deal about you.

If I told you how many women who were (are) members of this community were "disappointed" by their husbands between 2004 and 2007, you'd either start crying, start laughing or accuse me of making it up. One husband moved out of the marital home and into a homeless shelter for men just to avoid responsibility. Some have walked away from multiple children. Some wives have lost their homes and jobs. Others have had to file for bankruptcy. It happens Bumbellina...

The point is, "Did you learn the lesson?" That's all that matters.

Now, do what every strong sistah does when confronted with life's "disappointments": give yourself a little time to cry, then feel sorry for yourself for a minute (just a minute), next do something outrageous just because you can - it will make you feel better (I'm sure you get my drift...). Then, get up off your azz and do what you have to do!

According to your faith, be it unto you. And it is so. PM coming your way.

[ya falaha! 0]

I have no advice to offer however, I want to tell you how much I feel for you and hope that you can get your life back together and live happily. I'm so very sorry.

[gen&paul 0]

That's very clear. How does one go about reporting him to ICE and USCIS? Is there a FAQ on that somewhere? If you are someone else would be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I shall be on my merry way. The work never ends. I tell you, next time, I marry someone already legally IN the country.

USCIS Info-Pass appointment.

http://infopass.uscis.gov/

ICE:

http://www.ice.gov/about/contact.htm

Thank you so much.

I am highly disappointed at what some people post here.Some one is asking for advice and a stupid person from Poor Zambia is talking about Nigeria.How do you in this wild world compare poor Zambia to Nigeria?Some people might be bad in Nigeria,but not all people.So,old Dominion or whatever is your name,stop hating.Nigeria is Blessed!!!!

[gen&paul 0]

I am sorry for what happen to you sister!!! Just commit everything that happen into Gods hand and he will take care.

You can report your husband to USCIS and allow God to take care of the whole situation.You have to move on with your life,so you have to divorce him.

Wish u the best of luck!!!!!

[Bumbellina 0]

I want to thank everyone who took the time to offer advice, opinions, and support. I know I will be fine after time, and YES I learned my lesson. Never ignore "women's intuition"

I will be moving over the weekend, so I won't be here to post, but I will definitely come back and share any updates as well as correspond with anyone who showed some kindness and support. I feel strongly we do all have to stick together and that above all else, people looking to take advantage of not only the system, but the milk of human kindness need to be taken care of. God is watching, this I know. However, that doesn't mean we as fellow human beings can't also look out after our own.

Thank you so much!

[JillA 2]

I want to thank everyone who took the time to offer advice, opinions, and support. I know I will be fine after time, and YES I learned my lesson. Never ignore "women's intuition"

I will be moving over the weekend, so I won't be here to post, but I will definitely come back and share any updates as well as correspond with anyone who showed some kindness and support. I feel strongly we do all have to stick together and that above all else, people looking to take advantage of not only the system, but the milk of human kindness need to be taken care of. God is watching, this I know. However, that doesn't mean we as fellow human beings can't also look out after our own.

Thank you so much!

STAY STRONG!! Good luck with your move, and I wish you all the best. Your confidence and positive attitude is something to look up to.

[Julie Ivy 0]

Sorry i can'toffer any advice but just wanted to say you are very brave being so open and wish you the best of luck in the future

[Prawninator 138]

I can't offer any advice, but I would like to wish you the best of luck! I'm hope things will work out in your favour in the end!

[Aymsgirl 0]

I'm sorry to hear about this jerk that did this to you. My heart pours out to you but as others have said you seem to be a strong woman.

[mamatom 2]

That's very clear. How does one go about reporting him to ICE and USCIS? Is there a FAQ on that somewhere? If you are someone else would be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I shall be on my merry way. The work never ends. I tell you, next time, I marry someone already legally IN the country.

USCIS Info-Pass appointment.

http://infopass.uscis.gov/

ICE:

http://www.ice.gov/about/contact.htm

Thank you so much.

Hi, sorry for all your issues, I can't imagine what you are going through.

Its wise for you to report him, but there are always consequences.

When you report someone for fraud, you are equally making a case for yourself as well, you will be fined and maybe jailed along with his own punishment, they would say,since you knew it was fraud and also, you knew you were having issues with him before he got the green card,why you never reported it sooner,you are equally responsible, plain and simple, it goes both ways,no short cut about it, thats the law.

secondly, he already has his green card in hand, there is really nothing ICE can do at this point much, he is a legal resident,ICE deals mostly with people who have been ordered deported and are criminals mostly. so if they find him,he is legal, they cannot do much.

NOw the only way you will get him is this, trust me, it might take sometime,but you will be the one to laugh last

When it comes to time for his removal of status,I 751, he will need to produce evidences two of you had together from the beginning to the end,and will probably come back to you for some of it, this is where you will get him, when you know he needs this items, play the fool and refuse to issue him the evidences he needs,then send a letter to the servicee center where he is sending his file, with his A# thats his greencard number and tell them your story,trust me he will get denied then and there.

Make sure now you have all the documentation you have together is safe with you and don't give him any papers at all, except his divorce papers, and make sure you filefor divorce immeadiately , I understand how you feel, but trust me, the time will come when he will come begging, If you file for divorce, he goes out of staus immeadiately, since the CONDITIONAL GREEN CARD is based on your marraige together, when the divorce is final. he will need to file immeadiately, he doesn't need to wait for 2 years to lift his conditions, so the sooner you get a divorce the better for you and too bad for him.

ICE and USCIS have seen and are still seeng thousands of letters from people in your situation, but they really would not do anything, they say or call it spouses that have beeen spite, they take serious considerations to cases like these abit, just because some people report their spouses out of spite, wickedness and more, but some are real.

Judging fom your story,I know you are heart broken, but trust me sister, he is gone, and not looking back at all.

take care

[diadromous mermaid 36]

mamatom,

This, all of this, is very poor advice and incorrect. First, USCIS is well aware that unilateral fraud exists. If an alien enters a marriage with fraudulent intent, it is not a forgone conclusion that the USC was complicit with a scheme.

Secondly, failure to provide documentation (documentation that the alien has a right to have, as in "joint" account statements, "joint" tax returns, or the likes) to an alien that is following immigration process can be construed as willful obstruction, and can provide the alien with recourse in any self-petition.

That's very clear. How does one go about reporting him to ICE and USCIS? Is there a FAQ on that somewhere? If you are someone else would be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I shall be on my merry way. The work never ends. I tell you, next time, I marry someone already legally IN the country.

USCIS Info-Pass appointment.

http://infopass.uscis.gov/

ICE:

http://www.ice.gov/about/contact.htm

Thank you so much.

Hi, sorry for all your issues, I can't imagine what you are going through.

Its wise for you to report him, but there are always consequences.

When you report someone for fraud, you are equally making a case for yourself as well, you will be fined and maybe jailed along with his own punishment, they would say,since you knew it was fraud and also, you knew you were having issues with him before he got the green card,why you never reported it sooner,you are equally responsible, plain and simple, it goes both ways,no short cut about it, thats the law.

secondly, he already has his green card in hand, there is really nothing ICE can do at this point much, he is a legal resident,ICE deals mostly with people who have been ordered deported and are criminals mostly. so if they find him,he is legal, they cannot do much.

NOw the only way you will get him is this, trust me, it might take sometime,but you will be the one to laugh last

When it comes to time for his removal of status,I 751, he will need to produce evidences two of you had together from the beginning to the end,and will probably come back to you for some of it, this is where you will get him, when you know he needs this items, play the fool and refuse to issue him the evidences he needs,then send a letter to the servicee center where he is sending his file, with his A# thats his greencard number and tell them your story,trust me he will get denied then and there.

Make sure now you have all the documentation you have together is safe with you and don't give him any papers at all, except his divorce papers, and make sure you filefor divorce immeadiately , I understand how you feel, but trust me, the time will come when he will come begging, If you file for divorce, he goes out of staus immeadiately, since the CONDITIONAL GREEN CARD is based on your marraige together, when the divorce is final. he will need to file immeadiately, he doesn't need to wait for 2 years to lift his conditions, so the sooner you get a divorce the better for you and too bad for him.

ICE and USCIS have seen and are still seeng thousands of letters from people in your situation, but they really would not do anything, they say or call it spouses that have beeen spite, they take serious considerations to cases like these abit, just because some people report their spouses out of spite, wickedness and more, but some are real.

Judging fom your story,I know you are heart broken, but trust me sister, he is gone, and not looking back at all.

take care

[daboyz 36]

That's very clear. How does one go about reporting him to ICE and USCIS? Is there a FAQ on that somewhere? If you are someone else would be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I shall be on my merry way. The work never ends. I tell you, next time, I marry someone already legally IN the country.

USCIS Info-Pass appointment.

http://infopass.uscis.gov/

ICE:

http://www.ice.gov/about/contact.htm

Thank you so much.

Hi, sorry for all your issues, I can't imagine what you are going through.

Its wise for you to report him, but there are always consequences.

When you report someone for fraud, you are equally making a case for yourself as well, you will be fined and maybe jailed along with his own punishment, they would say,since you knew it was fraud and also, you knew you were having issues with him before he got the green card,why you never reported it sooner,you are equally responsible, plain and simple, it goes both ways,no short cut about it, thats the law.

secondly, he already has his green card in hand, there is really nothing ICE can do at this point much, he is a legal resident,ICE deals mostly with people who have been ordered deported and are criminals mostly. so if they find him,he is legal, they cannot do much.

NOw the only way you will get him is this, trust me, it might take sometime,but you will be the one to laugh last

When it comes to time for his removal of status,I 751, he will need to produce evidences two of you had together from the beginning to the end,and will probably come back to you for some of it, this is where you will get him, when you know he needs this items, play the fool and refuse to issue him the evidences he needs,then send a letter to the servicee center where he is sending his file, with his A# thats his greencard number and tell them your story,trust me he will get denied then and there.

Make sure now you have all the documentation you have together is safe with you and don't give him any papers at all, except his divorce papers, and make sure you filefor divorce immeadiately , I understand how you feel, but trust me, the time will come when he will come begging, If you file for divorce, he goes out of staus immeadiately, since the CONDITIONAL GREEN CARD is based on your marraige together, when the divorce is final. he will need to file immeadiately, he doesn't need to wait for 2 years to lift his conditions, so the sooner you get a divorce the better for you and too bad for him.

ICE and USCIS have seen and are still seeng thousands of letters from people in your situation, but they really would not do anything, they say or call it spouses that have beeen spite, they take serious considerations to cases like these abit, just because some people report their spouses out of spite, wickedness and more, but some are real.

Judging fom your story,I know you are heart broken, but trust me sister, he is gone, and not looking back at all.

take care

Jesus. Put down the pipe. Where are you getting this info?

[Bumbellina 0]

Well, I am back, after a month exactly. I have moved to another city, and then found a small fairly affordable place where I came from originally. I had an appointment with USCIS on March 23rs and my sister and I went in and told our story. The helpful officer instructed us to put it in writing with evidence and mail it in. He also looked up my husband's file and he had this small smile on his face as he said, gently, "why this is only a conditional card....the condition is that he is married" He instructed us to send in our letters and let us know it would go in his file.

I finally had access to a computer on April 7 and composed my letter which has been delivered. My sister is adding her own account to accompany it.

Between the walk out but before I went to USCIS, he came to me, tears in his eyes and apologized. He said it is ALL his fault, he was just not ready to be married from the very begining, but he went through with it anyway. He said what he did to me was inexcusable and begged me to forgive him and let him be my friend. Said he couldn't bare to lose the one person here he knows. He also promised to apologize to my family and everyone who had to drop everything to rescue me. He also said he is staying so he can pay me back.

Well, la la la la. He never apologized, never sent any money, and now acts as if he never knew me. He won't give me an address so I can file the divorce, though he does have one now. He says, just send it in the mail to the old address, they will forward it. He wants nothing to do with me, yet he won't even make it easy to file the papers. So, I'm trying to figure out his address.

I discovered a lot of stuff in the meanwhile. He lied to his family completely and also he was chatting with his sister telling her he doesn't need to be married, if he can show ties to the country like work and student loans, he can get the 10 year card anyway. Of course at the time, his sister thought I left him, she did not know my version of the story. She knows now. Apparently the family has been sending him money to pay me back and he has never been giving it to me. At the very least they now have the story. They can make of it what they will.

I STILL can't believe the nerve of this man. It's like he can't stop lying once he has started. He couldn't even tell the full truth while he was on his knees, crying begging me to forgive him for what he had done (yet not wanting to stay married, of course).

[TBoneTX 44,679]

The helpful officer instructed us to put it in writing with evidence and mail it in. He also looked up my husband's file and he had this small smile on his face as he said, gently, "why this is only a conditional card....the condition is that he is married" He instructed us to send in our letters and let us know it would go in his file.

From this, it sounds as though justice will finally be served. Much respect for your strength during this ordeal, and thanks for the update. Keep us apprised.

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

While I didn't catch your post when you first posted, I wanted to commend you for being so strong and resilient throughout this entire trial. Heartbreak in the form of this sickening betrayal must be devastating, and for you to come out on top like this is inspiring. I am so glad that that awful creep will be getting what he deserves for doing that to you, and it's disgusting that he's trying to pin the terrible, sad things he's done on an addiction. It's even worse that he planned it from the beginning, but it goes to show what a miserable, sick person he is. His cowardice knows no bounds. I wish you and your sister all the happiness in the world, and I hope and pray that you find someone who is deserving of someone with your spirit and affection. I won't be writing what I think he should be getting, in case I burn a hole in my screen. I will say, though, that no good will come of him, and no good will come to him in his sad life.

:: Hugs ::

Magpie.

Edited April 13, 2009 by KnightAndMagpie