Legal Advise Please Husband Abandoned Me

[sara..... 371]

i have no advise for u but i wanted to tell u how sorry i feel for what has happened to u and to put u in my prayers

i hope that the rest of ur life is beautiful

sara

[no more patience 0]

I am so sorry to hear what a horrible thing happened. I would seek legal counsel , there should be something you can do in these special circumstances. Good luck with everything

[rrobin 2]

Wow, i feel realy soory for all that has happened to you!

From what you sayd here, he likes to go to prostitues and drive expensive cars...he's sleek, charming, i'm guessing very well groomed and appaers classy at first glipse. To me he seems like he's high maintenence, seeks wealty(er) wemen to depend on and suck dry(almost like a gigolo of some sort)His kind of lifestyle requires a lot of money, i mean, A LOT...If that is the case, he might not be satisfied with the amount of money he'd possibly get through the Affidavit of Support you and your sister signed. The amount(from what i know) he'd get is based on the povery level in California, and not on your income or your sister's. It is not that high, not high enough to pay for prostitues and eat at the same time. I don't know if you are aware, but he'd not be colecting those money directly from you(you not need to send him a check home every month)...it's the US goverment who might come to collect money from you and your sister for supporting his asz while unemplyed and on food stamps. I don't know...this guy just doesnt seem the tipe who'd go to the store with food stamps from the goverment.I might be wrong... Non the less, you need to protect yourself any way you can from scumbags like that. Unfortunately you can't withdraw the Affidavit of Support unless he becomes a citizen, dies or leaves this country and abandons his status(stay ouside the country for more than 6 months from what i know).

If i were you, i'd focus on regeining my peace of mind, working out of dept(which is shared between the paties at divorce) and gathering all the evidence against him. Inform USCIS, make them aware of what's going on and hope that he'll be denied when he'll apply to lift conditions.

Outside the point..i'm not trying to give you advice(god knows i've had my share of misgugements about men in my life and paths i took in life) but, one lesson i've learned real quick was not to dance infront of a man i like or furfill his fantasies unless its our wedding night or thereafter

I realy hope things will turn out good! Best of luck to you

Hi zila,

Thank you for the nice post and good advice. Yes, he is a flashy, live beyond his means kind of guy, but doesn't come off sleek, or like a player. He's very mellow. He knows how to work it, for sure. I can see plenty of people falling for his charm because he is so darn likeable and easy at first. I'm working on the debt, won't he be happy when he learns US divorce = half the debt. That's his half. I officially went into debt AFTER we married.

As for the advice, thank you I did not dance for him till we were married, and we rushed to get married once he got into the country because we wanted to have everything right in God's eyes. Out of curiosity, what types of things constitute evidence? I have print screens and call records and emails and things like that.

He should be stopped, before anyone else gets hurt by this con artist. You should definitely report him to ICE/USCIS. You never know what he may end up doing if gets unchecked?

[no more patience 0]

I agree, you need to do whatever you can to stop this man, from doing anything else to you or someone else. Def report him and try to gather all the evidence you can against him. Good luck!!!

[Zee Bee 61]

This is a sad situation indeed. One would think you married a Nigerian guy. In addition to getting a blood test after all that evidence of screwing around, you need legal advice. But the sponsorship contracts that were signed are enforceable no matter what.

You seem to have a vendetta against Nigerians. What do Nigerians have to do with the OPs post? Men and women from all countries and all walks of life cheat/scam etc etc. It is not limited to Nigerians.

To the OP: I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do.

[no more patience 0]

i found these for you about marriage fraud

http://discuss.ilw.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/...1/m/28910060611

also you need to contact the USCIS immediatey...

[Anonymous NY 1]

I am very sorry for what you are going through. Please do everything that you can to protect yourself and your family. I agree with other VJers to report your case to the authorities concerned. I see no integrity behind all his actions at all. America is a free country (not a free lunch country so your husband may unfortunately think) but some people have to learn to be responsible for the consequences that come with their actions.

Don't feel bad about yourself. You have your intelligence, beauty and strength that nobody can ever take away from you. And never let anyone to do so.

I wish you well and the best of luck.

Edited March 13, 2009 by Anonymous NY

[SamM223 0]

I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through, you were acting in good faith and were taken advantage of. I hope you can move past this once it is over and find someone who will treat you well. Maybe you should steer clear of Middle Eastern countries; as an American woman you will always be held in low esteem by these men, they don't even respect their own women. Anyway, Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.

On an advice note, I know personally of a family member in FL who married a woman from a small South American country (she was here illegally and he didn't want to lose her so they got married a month after they met). She was likeable, but in the back of everyone's mind was that she was doing it for her green card because they were a very oddly matched couple. She was pretty, vivacious, great figure and very outgoing and demanding of attention. He was basically a wallflower.

Anyway, after about 2 months the problems started, she was on cocaine and quickly cleaned out his bank account and filed for divorce.

We thought he would be screwed because the area they live in is solidly filled with the Latin community (judges/attorneys/police, etc.) and he is Caucasian. She asked for alimony and for the Support Affidavit to be upheld. They did award her a $10K lump sum alimony but said that because she could NOT prove that she could not support herself at 125% of the poverty level, that they were not going to enforce the Affidavit.

We were all very surprised that they chose NOT to enforce it, but happy because we felt so bad for this nice guy who was getting screwed over (sounds like you). Not sure how she managed to still remain here (doesn't say in the divorce documents and he isn't talking because I think he is so embarrassed).

He sounds like he is healthy and able to work, so if he cannot prove to the courts that he can't support himself (but can afford to go to high-end prostitutes), maybe you have a chance of getting it revoked.

So keep your head up, like others have said, it seems that the U.S. is not too stringent on enforcing these Affidavits. I understand in Canada they do, but for some reason, I guess we have bigger fish to fry at this time.

[JillA 2]

I am so sorry to hear of your pain It must be so hard. But I have a thought, and correct me if I'm wrong anyone. Doesn't the immigrant HAVE to obide by US laws and any breaking of such laws can lead to deportation, no? Isn't sleeping with prostitutes illegal? If you have proof of any illegal activity isn't this grounds for deportation? I dunno, I just thought we can't do anything illegal and if we do, we're outta here!

[no more patience 0]

That sounds like that can be grounds for deporation, i would look into that

[raymaga 25]

Sorry to hear of your situation. Life can sometimes be very hard, but I hope you can pick up the pieces and move forward.

Make sure you keep any proof of his behavior right from the start to prove that he probably was fraudulent in getting a GC. Keep all the phone bills, online chats and any other documentation you can to prove he was cheating.

You will need all the proof you can get to prove he was only after the GC. That will certainly prevent him from removing conditions down the road.

Best of luck to you.

[shefellfromheaven 18]

The pain, heartaches shall come to pass! take heart, file for a divorce and move on, you dont need someone who disrespects and humiliates you. You deserve better and you will find it in God's perfect timing.

Edited March 13, 2009 by shefellfromheaven

[wizardfitz 13]

if you really want a divorce, contact your local circuit court clerk and get information, contact SF Bay Area Womens Legal Aid office, most states vary but you would need to put an ad in the local paper for him for the divorce, there is a set # of times you need to do this and keep the paper/ad for your records to be granted the divorce if he doesnt surface.

[andy desai 3]

We should all set up a fund and donate some money into it. Use that money to hire a lawyer and somehow get that ####### back to his country. It is because of these people, legitimate people face so much trouble getting married and getting their fiances over. You should collect as much evidence as you possibly can. Get them in an organized manner and sent it over to ICE, USCIS and also to your congressman. Furthermore, if possible you should drag him to court and try to inflict as much damage as you possibly can and deliver your point across.

[Old Dominion 26]

This is a sad situation indeed. One would think you married a Nigerian guy. In addition to getting a blood test after all that evidence of screwing around, you need legal advice. But the sponsorship contracts that were signed are enforceable no matter what.

Men of different nationalities cheat. Why does it have to be a Nigerian? Cheating on ones spouse regardless of nationality is awful and should be condemned.

So true. But to Nigerians wanting a green card, it's a plan from the very start. China is also experiencing the results of the same cultural trait, which is the only phrase that comes to mind.