WANT TO MARRY GIRL ALREADY MARRIED ON K-3 VISA

[cjgator 2]

I wish you well, man, but speak to some others who have dealt with pinays. In general, they re-define the meaning of the term "opportunist". And, for those of you who are offended by that statement, get a life. You either do not know the truth, or you are avoiding it.

As the old saying goes, "be careful what you ask for, you may get it."

You may hate me for what I say today, but one day, you will see it. Stay away from that area. It is bad news.

I met a girl through a family I know--and we fell in love and quick (right or wrong it happened). She married in Philippines not quite 2 years ago and came here 2 months ago. Since she was married she felt she made a mistake the guy wasn't what she thought he was. After he finally petitioned her on what I believe is the K-3 Visa and she came 2 months ago she has been miserable. He is controlling, lazy drunk, who does have a decent job--but still lives at home with his mother (where she now lives too). She is hoping I can wait until her 2 years here is up and she get her 'condition' of marriage removed.

I imagine instead of waiting for this girl for two years or more while that process takes place there must be an easier way.

Can she leave him now (separation of six months is required before the state will grant divorce here) and live with her sister and eventually me? How long would she be allowed to stay in country?

Is it possible that once her divorce is final that I could marry her quickly after that and petition somehow for her to stay here without her having to go back to the Philippines?

Note: The guy isn't abusive--yet, and it really isn't an 'extreme' hardship if she went back. I actually also wonder if she left him now, was able to stay until the divorce was final and voluntarily went back to the Philippines--How long would she have to stay there before she could come back if I petetion her?

Thanks for any advice or personal experience with this type of issue anyone can share.

[sj5 4]

"It's a bad start to commit relationship with cheaters."

Good luck!

Edited March 13, 2009 by sj5

[Cham 3]

EEEEK Not judging you or her BUT you sound like a rebound. He is lazy and so on BUT he is HER husband and she needs to sit with him and tell him how she feels. THIS is what married folk do..you work it out try every avenue before you divorce. THEN wait it out a while..get to know yourself before you say HEY i love you lets get married to someone else.

THis has failure written ALL over it!!!

Sorry just my opinion...I would seriously rethink this. Its to soon for you BOTH to say if it will work. She probably was deeply in love with him JUST like you now...SO think before you walk through fire my friend...Its like a love triangle EEK EEEK EEEK

[Minya's wife 25]

I wish you well, man, but speak to some others who have dealt with pinays. In general, they re-define the meaning of the term "opportunist". And, for those of you who are offended by that statement, get a life. You either do not know the truth, or you are avoiding it.

As the old saying goes, "be careful what you ask for, you may get it."

You may hate me for what I say today, but one day, you will see it. Stay away from that area. It is bad news.

why such a gross generalization? there are good and bad apples among all nationalities, it is unfair to say that pinays are the epitome of opportunism...and very derogatory as well.

since you're such a fan of old adages...here's one for you: " Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own"

[justashooter 430]

hope you have a bullet proof vest, buddy.

[Shad and Dani 3]

i think she did marry the this man, and if she's unhappy she needs to talk to her husband and let him know this and they need to try and work the matrimony out, get counseling, try something. they both sound too immature. A marriage isn't something that you toss away like rubbish. If he is abusive than I think that is different situation and i agree that divorce should be an option to her for the reason of him being abusive, not because she is in adultery which is a sin.

Second Im sorry, but I gotta say i think you are being in the way, and you should not have contact with her. If you respect her i cant say love because you should not be in love with another man's wife. so if you are respect her you should let them work through this without you, if it ends in divorse, which is sad then you would have the right to pursue her for matrimony, but she would need to go back to phillipine most likely first, and then like is said here you would need to petition her.

peace

I agree! Marriage is a serious commitment, and shouldn't be taken lightly. It sounds like this girl might be in it for the "green"...card and money that is.

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

[Mags 112]

I wish you well, man, but speak to some others who have dealt with pinays. In general, they re-define the meaning of the term "opportunist". And, for those of you who are offended by that statement, get a life. You either do not know the truth, or you are avoiding it.

Please keep statements like the one above out of the discussion. It's a gross generalisation and insulting.

There are ways to discuss the topic without resorting to statements like this.

You know as well as I do that the popcorn should be left in OT, Charles. This is not the place for it.

[MMW 2]

Her original marriage was in the Philippines so wouldn't she then need to get an Annulment in the PI as well for her next petition even if the divorce was in the states?

[john_and_marlene 162]

If she petitions for divorce, the divorce will not be recognized by the government in the Philippines and she will not be eligible for a visa based on an engagement or marriage to a different man if she returns to the Philippines.

If she wants to regain the capacity to marry according the the Philippine government, she will have to convince her non-filipino husband to file for the divorce. The Philippines will only recognize a foreign divorce if it is not filed by the Filipino.

[filamer 0]

i would b careful if i was you, anyone who is married two months and is already cheating is a high risk for failure, better or worse richer or poorer obviously doesnt mean much to this person, remember theres two sides to every nickel, the husband had to invest much time and money to get her here and when you do that he must love her very much, im married to a loyal filipina who wouldnt think of doing that and it makes it harder for other people to get there visas when they hear about caes like hers, my advice be careful, look for red flags to protect youself....goood luck

[shang 0]

I know you feel that you are in love, but this is a bad situation. If she is cheating with you on her husband, regardless of his flaws, she is wrong and you are wrong. You have no right whatsoever to be involved with a married woman, I don't care how you "feel" or how big a bum her husband may be. Good grief, even before I became a Christian, I had enough sense not to mess with married women. Back off, let them solve their problems and then, if she gets divorced, you can see where your relationship goes. If you continue in this relationship, I predict you will buy yourself some major trouble. I don't say this to be mean or judgmental. The reality is, a lot of guys have been shot for less!

RickD

Why so quick to give up on marriage? Why not give a chance to make things better? Why not just become a friend to her and not pursuing about getting divorce? Why not help to fix the marriage? She is still have unfinished business with her husband, so why not just stay out of there way. If you really love her which is unbelievable (maybe), why let it happen the fact you know she is married yet? There might be change of getting back together unless his husband is having an affair with other woman which I think he is not.....

[vichygurl 1]

I wish you well, man, but speak to some others who have dealt with pinays. In general, they re-define the meaning of the term "opportunist". And, for those of you who are offended by that statement, get a life. You either do not know the truth, or you are avoiding it.

As the old saying goes, "be careful what you ask for, you may get it."

You may hate me for what I say today, but one day, you will see it. Stay away from that area. It is bad news.

why such a gross generalization? there are good and bad apples among all nationalities, it is unfair to say that pinays are the epitome of opportunism...and very derogatory as well.

since you're such a fan of old adages...here's one for you: " Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own"

I agree!! I hope you got the good apple cjgator.

To the OP.. I suggest back off with the relationship. Let her handle her married life. She can't just say the marriage is not working because he is not the man she taught he was. Why did she married him in the first place? Instead of her entertaining you, why not tell her to talk to her husband and work on the marriage?

Good luck to you!

Vida Taylor

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

I wish you well, man, but speak to some others who have dealt with pinays. In general, they re-define the meaning of the term "opportunist". And, for those of you who are offended by that statement, get a life. You either do not know the truth, or you are avoiding it.

Please keep statements like the one above out of the discussion. It's a gross generalisation and insulting.

There are ways to discuss the topic without resorting to statements like this.

You know as well as I do that the popcorn should be left in OT, Charles. This is not the place for it.

you quoted one of the main reasons i used the popcorn.

[WROCLAW 0]

If you wrote a soap-opera like this, nobody would believe it, at least NOT me! so much drama.