Won't divorce me!

[Fizz 1]

Well i for one dont wanna go back. Neither do I want my husband to support me - I work and am quite capable of doing so myself. I don't think I should go back to my country just because my husband wants me to. I have to American kids and if I got denied my right to remain here, they would be affected by that.

I'm not the OP's wife or whatever but my husband is trying to pull the same thing ... but only because he is controlling and dominating and is cheating on me. How is that fair to me and my kids? So now we should suffer?

i have no idea what the actual law is but if you have american kids then i think you would have no problem staying here.

wanting to go back or not wanting to go back isnt really the concern here. it is whether you have a legal right to stay in the country or not.

[conquest 0]

Nor is aUSC the golden ticket to a better life or a pot of gold

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I read on another thread that if you withdraw your support as stated on the I-864, her waiting for the green card just might not happen. However, that is only a belief. You should still talk to your lawyer about all this.

My question is, why are you wanting for her to go back to her home country, when she clearly wants to stay? It sounds as though you want to get back at her for hurting you and therefore filing for the divorce, even though you say you're not a bad person and all that. Surely if you have ever loved her, you wouldn't want to see harm come to her? I mean, withdrawing your legally recognised financial support from her and getting the divorce done and over with should be enough to get on with your individual lives, right...?

Just saying what I'm observing, I'm not here to judge.

Either way, good luck.

Can't withdraw the Affidavit of Support if the alien has PR already, UNLESS the USC has strong and compelling proof of fraud perpetrated by the alien.

I TOO originally married for love. This wasn't just for the GC.

The OP wants to end the marriage, and quickly and his own lawyer has advised that he refrain from speaking with his soon-to-be ex-wife. I wonder if things are very acrimonious between them right now. However, if a speedy divorce is what he wants, and his wife is not inclined to agree to signing the papers, I don't understand that. If both individuals had to agree to a divorce, half the population that have divorced in the last 100 years wouldn't have been able to. I don't think both parties have to agree. One petitions, the other is served. Unless it has more to do with what each wants out of the marital estate, or what grounds are being used. Is there something specific that is at issue in this case?

What is it about the divorce and your interest to end the marriage that has your wife thinking this is not a good idea?

[rebeccajo 14]

PS - TBoneTX is not an immigration attorney.

Thank god for that.

LOL..............that was kinda mean.........

[Chelartie 0]

I agree with sister magnolia . I find it disgusting that some -note, some- people think that foreign spouses can just be "shipped back". Newsflash idiots: we are not furniture.

I agree. If someone has been living here (or anywhere), establishing a life here, I think it's unnecessarily cruel to force people to leave because the relationship didn't work out. Someone's life, responsibilities, and attachments cannot just be neatly snipped off.

[MihaelaNYS 10]

"...so that they will refuse to grant her permanent status. Will this work? Will they refuse her application?"

- Short answer: No.

The man obviously wants to screw her status here and is wondering how but before he managed to do his homework in order to accomplish his goal, he filed for a divorce and now he's wondering if this works or not.

Regarding the divorce proceedings: depends on the state you are in.

In NY you file, the wife doesnt have to sign anything.

If she doesnt answer to the court with respect to your allegations, you will have your divorce uncontested (it takes 2-3 months, depending on the court's schedule).

If she answer (denieng the allegations, then you actually need a lawyer to fight it). It has to go to trial and you have to proove your case so the judge decides that you are right and you are entitled to end the marriage (for whatever ground you can proove) then and there you will have your divorce decree.... this path cost a lot of money ... usually is over $5,000....

"Can't withdraw the Affidavit of Support if the alien has PR already, UNLESS the USC has strong and compelling proof of fraud perpetrated by the alien."

Here is your answer of how to ship back your wife. .... but that's not ground for divorce but annulment... boy, that lawyer didn't help you at all (or you didn't tell him about your real intention: not to brake up the marriage, but to screw her immigration status)...

[Hank Scorpio 0]

OK wow we have gotten off track. I NEVER said that I wanted deportation or for my spouse to be "shipped back." I apologize but I will not go into details about why we are not together. This entire thread is somewhat legal considering this is an open court case.

How long have they been enforcing the I-864? Because I honestly don't remember signing that paper. We filed in 2004 and that was a long time ago. Would it have been during the initial application process, at the interview, after the interview....? My spouse is NOT trying to get citizenship, just the conditions removed.

In NYS, you have to have grounds for divorce and your spouse must sign the divorce papers.

How on earth could my spouse claim/prove VAWA? We haven't lived together for 2+ years. And for the record, I have NEVER phy/ment abused any woman. I have never laid my hands on a woman in a violent way. My mother and I were abused by our step father and I could never ever do that.

If my spouse wishes to file separately, fine. I just want her to sign the divorce papers.

[sj5 4]

I agree with sister magnolia . I find it disgusting that some -note, some- people think that foreign spouses can just be "shipped back". Newsflash idiots: we are not furniture.

Nor We are not under warranty or no 100% guarantee back if you're dissatisfied.

Edited March 10, 2009 by sj5

[MihaelaNYS 10]

"In NYS, you have to have grounds for divorce and your spouse must sign the divorce papers."

..Hmm... who told you that ????? the lawyer ?

I am in divorce proceedings, in NYS and I know what I am talking about.

The only paper that she would have to sign if she wants to give you the divorce is the settlement or a separation agreement - whichever she and your lawyer will decide.

Did she answer your allegations?

If so, that's a contested divorce. It can take years if a party doesn't want the divorce to end anytime soon...

"I just want her to sign the divorce papers."

You mean you just want your divorce decree. ... a judge has to sign that.

.... how much did you payed your lawyer?

[Hank Scorpio 0]

How's life in the Hamptons? Must be hard livin' there. j/k

Well, she didn't sign anything yet and I am aware that the judge needs to sign the decree. I have a reply to my allegations. Don't want to get into too many details, but I can assure you that this is just the waiting game.

Edited March 10, 2009 by Hank Scorpio

[MihaelaNYS 10]

"How's life in the Hamptons? Must be hard livin' there. j/k

-Yeh! It's not the place, is the people that can make your life miserable ... as anywhere on this Planet....

"I have a reply to my allegations."

- You have a contested divorce. (Like me).

" Don't want to get into too many details, but I can assure you that this is just the waiting game."

- Sure, on one hand, she has the right to defend herself and on the other hand, the waiting game is almost Always the lawyer's game - that's how they keep their job...more time, more money. Anything to prolong it, to milk you. (Mine is on payroll for over a year now, due to my spouse, the USC who is unwilling to sign the settlement).

The waiting game will ruin you financially (or so it is in most cases). The only other option is to go for the trial but you have to tell your lawyer that that's what you want. He/she will try to convince you that that's a very expensive deal ... and maybe talk you out of it.

In a the trial is all or nothing - the judge decides.

If you cannot prove the ground you filed for, he/she might not grant you the divorce.

Soooo,.... what do you think? Do you have enough evidence and/or a good speach/story to convince the judge???

If so, go for it! You might just get your decree (without your spouse approval or signature).

Still, why wouldn't you wait for her to receive her GC (from what you said, apparently she should get it soon) ???

[Chica Yeyé 41]

OK wow we have gotten off track. I NEVER said that I wanted deportation or for my spouse to be "shipped back." I apologize but I will not go into details about why we are not together. This entire thread is somewhat legal considering this is an open court case.

How long have they been enforcing the I-864? Because I honestly don't remember signing that paper. We filed in 2004 and that was a long time ago. Would it have been during the initial application process, at the interview, after the interview....? My spouse is NOT trying to get citizenship, just the conditions removed.

In NYS, you have to have grounds for divorce and your spouse must sign the divorce papers.

How on earth could my spouse claim/prove VAWA? We haven't lived together for 2+ years. And for the record, I have NEVER phy/ment abused any woman. I have never laid my hands on a woman in a violent way. My mother and I were abused by our step father and I could never ever do that.

If my spouse wishes to file separately, fine. I just want her to sign the divorce papers.

You did sign the I-864 otherwise she would not be here. And you are liable according to the law. Read DM's response. You cannot withdraw your affidavit of support 'just because'.

And if this is an open court case... have you ever thought your wife could come over and just print all the stuff you have said and also use it in court?

There is nothing you can do to prevent her from removing conditions on her own; or to make her sign the divorce papers. Newsflash: she is an adult woman, with a will (and I hope a lawyer) of her own.

Thinking before posting... a lost art.

[supercomp 0]

Move to state that allows you to obtain divorce based on separation (NJ mayabe?), and refile divorce case there. There might be minimum residency requirement for that state though before you can file (in Nevada, requirement is 2 or 6 weeks?).

If you feel she is holding out on divorce in hope for expediting her GC, I would send the divorce complaint to USCIS and let your spouse know. I would also let USCIS know that you have been separated for while. Let her know that ball is in her court. She would ONLY have one option: Get divorce and then repply I-751. Alternative for her would be commit fraud and pretend that she is still happily married. After all, you are just telling the truth, and nothing but the truth.

OP has no obligation to support her removal of conditions, and wait for her to get GC. Actually, doing so might be contrued as immigration on OP's part.

Edited March 11, 2009 by supercomp

[diadromous mermaid 36]

If New York state requires that you have grounds for an expedited divorce and your spouse contests those grounds, then your option would be to await the requisite period of time to file a no fault divorce. It doesn't appear that your spouse won't divorce, but that she won't divorce under the grounds you are citing.

In New York State:

Grounds for Filing: The Complaint for Divorce must declare the appropriate New York grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The divorce grounds are as follows:

Action for divorce. An action for divorce may be maintained by a husband or wife to procure a judgment divorcing the parties and dissolving the marriage on any of the following grounds:

(1) The cruel and inhuman treatment of the plaintiff by the defendant such that the conduct of the defendant so endangers the physical or mental well being of the plaintiff as renders it unsafe or improper for the plaintiff to cohabit with the defendant.

(2) The abandonment of the plaintiff by the defendant for a period of one or more years.

(3) The confinement of the defendant in prison for a period of three or more consecutive years after the marriage of plaintiff and defendant.

(4) The commission of an act of adultery, provided that adultery for the purposes of articles ten, eleven, and eleven-A of this chapter, is hereby defined as the commission of an act of sexual intercourse, oral sexual conduct or ####### sexual conduct, voluntarily performed by the defendant, with a person other than the plaintiff after the marriage of plaintiff and defendant. Oral sexual conduct and ####### sexual conduct include, but are not limited to, sexual conduct as defined in subdivision two of section 130.00 and subdivision three of section 130.20 of the penal law.

(5) The husband and wife have lived apart pursuant to a decree or judgment of separation for a period of one or more years after the granting of such decree or judgment, and satisfactory proof has been submitted by the plaintiff that he or she has substantially performed all the terms and conditions of such decree or judgment.

(6) The husband and wife have lived separate and apart pursuant to a written agreement of separation, subscribed by the parties thereto and acknowledged or proved in the form required to entitle a deed to be recorded, for a period of one or more years after the execution of such agreement and satisfactory proof has been submitted by the plaintiff that he or she has substantially performed all the terms and conditions of such agreement. Such agreement shall be filed in the office of the clerk of the county wherein either party resides. In lieu of filing such agreement, either party to such agreement may file a memorandum of such agreement, which memorandum shall be similarly subscribed and acknowledged or proved as was the agreement of separation and shall contain the following information: (a) the names and addresses of each of the parties, (B) the date of marriage of the parties, © the date of the agreement of separation and (d) the date of this subscription and acknowledgment or proof of such agreement of separation. (Consolidated Laws of New York - Domestic Relations Laws - Volume 8 - Sections: 170 and Article 10, Section 170, and Article 13, Section 230)

It appears your haste is to get this marriage terminated under grounds that are not numbers 5 or 6, which would require a period of separation of one or more year. Are you sure your haste is not somewhat precipitated by a wish to terminate the marriage BEFORE she gets the conditions removed from her residency?

I have recently filed for divorce with my lawyer. My spouse has refused to sign the divorce papers because she has not had conditions removed and received her 10yr card. Her thinking is that if she doesn't sign, she can hold out until her card come in the mail. How likely are we to have another interview? We had our initial interview two summers ago. Last year she received a letter for an extension.

I very, VERY much want a divorce and I was thinking, if I send USCIS a copy of the divorce filing, her point to hold out will become moot. To clarify, I want to send USCIS my filing for divorce so that they will refuse to grant her permanent status. Will this work? Will they refuse her application?

I appreciate your help and for the record I am not a bad person.

[supercomp 0]

Not sure if I am misreading this, but #5 and #6 still requires her cooperation. I mean you still have to get decree of separation or some sort of separation agreement even with "no-fault" ground. it seems to me that simple 1 year separation would not suffice.

Also, not sure but I think he stated that they have been living separately for 2 years already somewhere. I have no way of knowing if that is true though.