MY LIFE IS AWAFUL IN AMERICA

[SADBrazil 0]

Hello, all...

I´m wrting to get some help... I got in US in the end of january, and since then, my experiencce isn´t well. I am feeling very lonely and have no one that is able to understand me. Here is a short context of my relationship:

We met almost 6 years ago in my country,

Six months later, I moved in with him in California, in a tourist visa. I stayed there legal for almost 2 years, then I had to move back to my country , but we never ended up our relationship. After 2 years, we married and after that, I waited for my green card approval for a year.

While I was in my country, I lived in my bedroom, without going out and never hanging out with my friends... I juste worked, went to college and came home to wait for his call. He never lived with me. Just visited me every 2 months... it was very pleasent and we had great love to each other. my family loves him to death and his family came to visit me in my country. They do love me too. However, during the course of the Visa journey, I realized that he didnt have any interst on the visa situation even paying a lawyer to help me... and I didnt have anyone to share my steps- acomplkishments like NOA1, NOA 2... NVC... Interview.... I felt very lonely.

In this meanwhile, we had our first marriage anniversary and he forgot... he never called me. His mother called me, but he forgot.

I started getiing so frustrating because i had to deal with the pressurew by myself... my family were pretty scared wacthicn it, and one time, they asked kevin if he really wanted me... he was upset and felt insulted... one month before my interview appointment being schedule, I fell ill and I had nobody to share my deeply sadness, even with him calling me many times a day.

time went by, and I got my interview. I was all alone. And went I told him (so excited) that I have passed , He said, "OH, Okay! Good! I ´m very happy". Then, I thought I would meet him imediatly, and he setup my flight to US for 3 weeks later... he said he need time to set up some things for my arriaval: HE MOVED OUT FROM HIS OLD APARTMENT SUDDENLY AND DIDN GIVE A CHANCE TO CHOSE OUR HOME.

I was hurted, and had nobody to share. I felt terrible bad and didnt know what to do... I knew things werent right.

I landed in US, he picked me up with the coldest flower buquet ever....I was weard... I couldnt pretend every thing was fine, because it wasn´t.

The days went buy, and I tryied my best to make that workout, even, with no words from him about the real problem: there was something it wasn´t right, and both of us knew it. Then, by the time I started getting to know his new friends, things even more weard strated happening: most of them avoided talking about my husband´s past especially because they all were neighborns in the old apartment. They avoided showing me pictures, they made weard faces when by accident somebody mention any thing about him going out to parties and etc. Just to mention: I WOULD´NT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIM GOING OUT TO PARTIES IN THIS 3 YEARS WHILE I WAS GONE, SINCE HE HAD SHARE THAT WITH ME, AND NOT PRETEND HIS PAIN WAS SAME LIKE MINE. So, I eventually caught evidences he had a way funnier life then I...

Another weard thing happened also: he started getting into my e-mails and MSN and getting very jeoulous about my friends talk, and especially with my guy friends who I most of the time chat by internet because I was not social in my country at all. He became very aggressive morally, he yeal at me, he accused me of cheating him, he almost hit me..he used very bad words , things I never heard in my whole life. he humiliated me in front of my friend who was visiting me. he said painful words. and I never had done wnything bad to him. I never dated anyone, I never flirted, I never even got out of my room for 3 years.

So, he kept me humiliating me for 4 days straight.. and on the 5th, I told him I wanted to leave him. He freaked out, and trying to do everything was possible to changed my mind. Same day, He went out, acctually inveted me to go meet another friend, but there wasnt atmosphere for me, os course, and I said no, you go. He came back home, 3 am, extremely intoxicated screaming I was the love of his life. We ended up making up.

The next morning, his blackberry bipped, he didnt woke up, so I went to answer his phone, then I saw there was a woman message, I mean, over 20 txt message from him invitinmg her to go out with him same night after I said no, and 3 pictures of a girl in his file.

So, my heart was deeply hurted... I so myself in bed, shocked... frustrated, even more humiliated... This man almost hitted me after accusing me of having affairs with no eveidences of anythings, just because I have guy friends as any other person... and now, I caught pictures, chats...

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED, MY GOSH....

I dont know what to do... I have know idea how much a divorce would complicate my GREEN CARD SITUATION SINCE I AM CR1 and I am living with him only for a month...

If I divorce him, what is going to happen with me... Will I be forced to come back to my country....

I read something that for me to file for a divorce in California, I would be permanent residence for at leats 6 months.....

Please, anyone, help me.

[gixbr 0]

Well, I know that doesn't help but you should have seen the signs before you traveled.

But anyway, do you want to stay in the U.S.? Would it be really bad if you went back to your country?

Just one thing: don't be afraid of getting a divorce because of a greencard, your happiness and your life is way more important.

I don't know anything about divorces and how you can still have your greencard after one, so I can only wish you 'Good Luck'.

[madbee626 0]

Hello, all...

I´m wrting to get some help... I got in US in the end of january, and since then, my experiencce isn´t well. I am feeling very lonely and have no one that is able to understand me. Here is a short context of my relationship:

We met almost 6 years ago in my country,

Six months later, I moved in with him in California, in a tourist visa. I stayed there legal for almost 2 years, then I had to move back to my country , but we never ended up our relationship. After 2 years, we married and after that, I waited for my green card approval for a year.

While I was in my country, I lived in my bedroom, without going out and never hanging out with my friends... I juste worked, went to college and came home to wait for his call. He never lived with me. Just visited me every 2 months... it was very pleasent and we had great love to each other. my family loves him to death and his family came to visit me in my country. They do love me too. However, during the course of the Visa journey, I realized that he didnt have any interst on the visa situation even paying a lawyer to help me... and I didnt have anyone to share my steps- acomplkishments like NOA1, NOA 2... NVC... Interview.... I felt very lonely.

In this meanwhile, we had our first marriage anniversary and he forgot... he never called me. His mother called me, but he forgot.

I started getiing so frustrating because i had to deal with the pressurew by myself... my family were pretty scared wacthicn it, and one time, they asked kevin if he really wanted me... he was upset and felt insulted... one month before my interview appointment being schedule, I fell ill and I had nobody to share my deeply sadness, even with him calling me many times a day.

time went by, and I got my interview. I was all alone. And went I told him (so excited) that I have passed , He said, "OH, Okay! Good! I ´m very happy". Then, I thought I would meet him imediatly, and he setup my flight to US for 3 weeks later... he said he need time to set up some things for my arriaval: HE MOVED OUT FROM HIS OLD APARTMENT SUDDENLY AND DIDN GIVE A CHANCE TO CHOSE OUR HOME.

I was hurted, and had nobody to share. I felt terrible bad and didnt know what to do... I knew things werent right.

I landed in US, he picked me up with the coldest flower buquet ever....I was weard... I couldnt pretend every thing was fine, because it wasn´t.

The days went buy, and I tryied my best to make that workout, even, with no words from him about the real problem: there was something it wasn´t right, and both of us knew it. Then, by the time I started getting to know his new friends, things even more weard strated happening: most of them avoided talking about my husband´s past especially because they all were neighborns in the old apartment. They avoided showing me pictures, they made weard faces when by accident somebody mention any thing about him going out to parties and etc. Just to mention: I WOULD´NT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIM GOING OUT TO PARTIES IN THIS 3 YEARS WHILE I WAS GONE, SINCE HE HAD SHARE THAT WITH ME, AND NOT PRETEND HIS PAIN WAS SAME LIKE MINE. So, I eventually caught evidences he had a way funnier life then I...

Another weard thing happened also: he started getting into my e-mails and MSN and getting very jeoulous about my friends talk, and especially with my guy friends who I most of the time chat by internet because I was not social in my country at all. He became very aggressive morally, he yeal at me, he accused me of cheating him, he almost hit me..he used very bad words , things I never heard in my whole life. he humiliated me in front of my friend who was visiting me. he said painful words. and I never had done wnything bad to him. I never dated anyone, I never flirted, I never even got out of my room for 3 years.

So, he kept me humiliating me for 4 days straight.. and on the 5th, I told him I wanted to leave him. He freaked out, and trying to do everything was possible to changed my mind. Same day, He went out, acctually inveted me to go meet another friend, but there wasnt atmosphere for me, os course, and I said no, you go. He came back home, 3 am, extremely intoxicated screaming I was the love of his life. We ended up making up.

The next morning, his blackberry bipped, he didnt woke up, so I went to answer his phone, then I saw there was a woman message, I mean, over 20 txt message from him invitinmg her to go out with him same night after I said no, and 3 pictures of a girl in his file.

So, my heart was deeply hurted... I so myself in bed, shocked... frustrated, even more humiliated... This man almost hitted me after accusing me of having affairs with no eveidences of anythings, just because I have guy friends as any other person... and now, I caught pictures, chats...

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED, MY GOSH....

I dont know what to do... I have know idea how much a divorce would complicate my GREEN CARD SITUATION SINCE I AM CR1 and I am living with him only for a month...

If I divorce him, what is going to happen with me... Will I be forced to come back to my country....

I read something that for me to file for a divorce in California, I would be permanent residence for at leats 6 months.....

Please, anyone, help me.

i feel for you... i am actually scared this will happen to me too. good luck and i hope everything will turn out for the best. take care.

[ProudWife 0]

MOVE FORUM!

Hello, all...

I´m wrting to get some help... I got in US in the end of january, and since then, my experiencce isn´t well. I am feeling very lonely and have no one that is able to understand me. Here is a short context of my relationship:

We met almost 6 years ago in my country,

Six months later, I moved in with him in California, in a tourist visa. I stayed there legal for almost 2 years, then I had to move back to my country , but we never ended up our relationship. After 2 years, we married and after that, I waited for my green card approval for a year.

While I was in my country, I lived in my bedroom, without going out and never hanging out with my friends... I juste worked, went to college and came home to wait for his call. He never lived with me. Just visited me every 2 months... it was very pleasent and we had great love to each other. my family loves him to death and his family came to visit me in my country. They do love me too. However, during the course of the Visa journey, I realized that he didnt have any interst on the visa situation even paying a lawyer to help me... and I didnt have anyone to share my steps- acomplkishments like NOA1, NOA 2... NVC... Interview.... I felt very lonely.

In this meanwhile, we had our first marriage anniversary and he forgot... he never called me. His mother called me, but he forgot.

I started getiing so frustrating because i had to deal with the pressurew by myself... my family were pretty scared wacthicn it, and one time, they asked kevin if he really wanted me... he was upset and felt insulted... one month before my interview appointment being schedule, I fell ill and I had nobody to share my deeply sadness, even with him calling me many times a day.

time went by, and I got my interview. I was all alone. And went I told him (so excited) that I have passed , He said, "OH, Okay! Good! I ´m very happy". Then, I thought I would meet him imediatly, and he setup my flight to US for 3 weeks later... he said he need time to set up some things for my arriaval: HE MOVED OUT FROM HIS OLD APARTMENT SUDDENLY AND DIDN GIVE A CHANCE TO CHOSE OUR HOME.

I was hurted, and had nobody to share. I felt terrible bad and didnt know what to do... I knew things werent right.

I landed in US, he picked me up with the coldest flower buquet ever....I was weard... I couldnt pretend every thing was fine, because it wasn´t.

The days went buy, and I tryied my best to make that workout, even, with no words from him about the real problem: there was something it wasn´t right, and both of us knew it. Then, by the time I started getting to know his new friends, things even more weard strated happening: most of them avoided talking about my husband´s past especially because they all were neighborns in the old apartment. They avoided showing me pictures, they made weard faces when by accident somebody mention any thing about him going out to parties and etc. Just to mention: I WOULD´NT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIM GOING OUT TO PARTIES IN THIS 3 YEARS WHILE I WAS GONE, SINCE HE HAD SHARE THAT WITH ME, AND NOT PRETEND HIS PAIN WAS SAME LIKE MINE. So, I eventually caught evidences he had a way funnier life then I...

Another weard thing happened also: he started getting into my e-mails and MSN and getting very jeoulous about my friends talk, and especially with my guy friends who I most of the time chat by internet because I was not social in my country at all. He became very aggressive morally, he yeal at me, he accused me of cheating him, he almost hit me..he used very bad words , things I never heard in my whole life. he humiliated me in front of my friend who was visiting me. he said painful words. and I never had done wnything bad to him. I never dated anyone, I never flirted, I never even got out of my room for 3 years.

So, he kept me humiliating me for 4 days straight.. and on the 5th, I told him I wanted to leave him. He freaked out, and trying to do everything was possible to changed my mind. Same day, He went out, acctually inveted me to go meet another friend, but there wasnt atmosphere for me, os course, and I said no, you go. He came back home, 3 am, extremely intoxicated screaming I was the love of his life. We ended up making up.

The next morning, his blackberry bipped, he didnt woke up, so I went to answer his phone, then I saw there was a woman message, I mean, over 20 txt message from him invitinmg her to go out with him same night after I said no, and 3 pictures of a girl in his file.

So, my heart was deeply hurted... I so myself in bed, shocked... frustrated, even more humiliated... This man almost hitted me after accusing me of having affairs with no eveidences of anythings, just because I have guy friends as any other person... and now, I caught pictures, chats...

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED, MY GOSH....

I dont know what to do... I have know idea how much a divorce would complicate my GREEN CARD SITUATION SINCE I AM CR1 and I am living with him only for a month...

If I divorce him, what is going to happen with me... Will I be forced to come back to my country....

I read something that for me to file for a divorce in California, I would be permanent residence for at leats 6 months.....

Please, anyone, help me.

i feel for you... i am actually scared this will happen to me too. good luck and i hope everything will turn out for the best. take care.

[notime4haterz 0]

I don't know what to tell you. I'm so sorry you are going through this

Do you want to go home? Or you want to stay in America? I guess it depends on what you want to do, then people can give you advice.

[I Miss Her 0]

In California, the divorce proceeding may be started if one or both spouses have resided in the COUNTY for at least the last 3 months and in the state of California for at least 6 months.

Since you are CR1, you have to remove resident condition on your GC. You have to file I-751 to remove condition before expiry of your GC card.

You need many documents showing you shared and lived together like apartment lease + telephone bill + electric bill (showing both of your‘s name), joint bank account, joint property (automobile, house, etc.).

[YuAndDan 153]

Moving this to "Moving Here and Your New Life In America" this forum has to do with life after arrival to the USA. The CR-1/IR-1 forum has mostly to do with the paperwork and filing of an I-130 for a visa.

[Old Dominion 26]

It seems you have a sad mess on your hands. Probably the first thing to do, is to get out of harm's way. Contact your city's Catholic Charities and there you can obtain good legal advice. That is what you will need, if you don't return home instead.

[luv2uallday 1]

Hello, all...

I´m wrting to get some help... I got in US in the end of january, and since then, my experiencce isn´t well. I am feeling very lonely and have no one that is able to understand me. Here is a short context of my relationship:

We met almost 6 years ago in my country,

Six months later, I moved in with him in California, in a tourist visa. I stayed there legal for almost 2 years, then I had to move back to my country , but we never ended up our relationship. After 2 years, we married and after that, I waited for my green card approval for a year.

While I was in my country, I lived in my bedroom, without going out and never hanging out with my friends... I juste worked, went to college and came home to wait for his call. He never lived with me. Just visited me every 2 months... it was very pleasent and we had great love to each other. my family loves him to death and his family came to visit me in my country. They do love me too. However, during the course of the Visa journey, I realized that he didnt have any interst on the visa situation even paying a lawyer to help me... and I didnt have anyone to share my steps- acomplkishments like NOA1, NOA 2... NVC... Interview.... I felt very lonely.

In this meanwhile, we had our first marriage anniversary and he forgot... he never called me. His mother called me, but he forgot.

I started getiing so frustrating because i had to deal with the pressurew by myself... my family were pretty scared wacthicn it, and one time, they asked kevin if he really wanted me... he was upset and felt insulted... one month before my interview appointment being schedule, I fell ill and I had nobody to share my deeply sadness, even with him calling me many times a day.

time went by, and I got my interview. I was all alone. And went I told him (so excited) that I have passed , He said, "OH, Okay! Good! I ´m very happy". Then, I thought I would meet him imediatly, and he setup my flight to US for 3 weeks later... he said he need time to set up some things for my arriaval: HE MOVED OUT FROM HIS OLD APARTMENT SUDDENLY AND DIDN GIVE A CHANCE TO CHOSE OUR HOME.

I was hurted, and had nobody to share. I felt terrible bad and didnt know what to do... I knew things werent right.

I landed in US, he picked me up with the coldest flower buquet ever....I was weard... I couldnt pretend every thing was fine, because it wasn´t.

The days went buy, and I tryied my best to make that workout, even, with no words from him about the real problem: there was something it wasn´t right, and both of us knew it. Then, by the time I started getting to know his new friends, things even more weard strated happening: most of them avoided talking about my husband´s past especially because they all were neighborns in the old apartment. They avoided showing me pictures, they made weard faces when by accident somebody mention any thing about him going out to parties and etc. Just to mention: I WOULD´NT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIM GOING OUT TO PARTIES IN THIS 3 YEARS WHILE I WAS GONE, SINCE HE HAD SHARE THAT WITH ME, AND NOT PRETEND HIS PAIN WAS SAME LIKE MINE. So, I eventually caught evidences he had a way funnier life then I...

Another weard thing happened also: he started getting into my e-mails and MSN and getting very jeoulous about my friends talk, and especially with my guy friends who I most of the time chat by internet because I was not social in my country at all. He became very aggressive morally, he yeal at me, he accused me of cheating him, he almost hit me..he used very bad words , things I never heard in my whole life. he humiliated me in front of my friend who was visiting me. he said painful words. and I never had done wnything bad to him. I never dated anyone, I never flirted, I never even got out of my room for 3 years.

So, he kept me humiliating me for 4 days straight.. and on the 5th, I told him I wanted to leave him. He freaked out, and trying to do everything was possible to changed my mind. Same day, He went out, acctually inveted me to go meet another friend, but there wasnt atmosphere for me, os course, and I said no, you go. He came back home, 3 am, extremely intoxicated screaming I was the love of his life. We ended up making up.

The next morning, his blackberry bipped, he didnt woke up, so I went to answer his phone, then I saw there was a woman message, I mean, over 20 txt message from him invitinmg her to go out with him same night after I said no, and 3 pictures of a girl in his file.

So, my heart was deeply hurted... I so myself in bed, shocked... frustrated, even more humiliated... This man almost hitted me after accusing me of having affairs with no eveidences of anythings, just because I have guy friends as any other person... and now, I caught pictures, chats...

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED, MY GOSH....

I dont know what to do... I have know idea how much a divorce would complicate my GREEN CARD SITUATION SINCE I AM CR1 and I am living with him only for a month...

If I divorce him, what is going to happen with me... Will I be forced to come back to my country....

I read something that for me to file for a divorce in California, I would be permanent residence for at leats 6 months.....

Please, anyone, help me.

sounds like a control freak to me and if not abusive borderline abusive. He is living a lie and doing everything he can from you learning his true self. On him cheating on you use your instinct.

You are his prisoner. I suggest break out of your prison. If he really loves you he will treat you like a wife. Good luck

[coldwatersurf 5]

I see a lot of posts like this and it frustrates me how people can be scum. i hope someone can make a post just for links to resources of spouses getting cheated when they move to US.

I'm not sure if you can find something helpful with immigration and nationality act. But read up on it:

http://www.uscis.gov/propub/ProPubVAP.jsp?...e16a4cb816838a4

[Mags 112]

Moving this to "Moving Here and Your New Life In America" this forum has to do with life after arrival to the USA. The CR-1/IR-1 forum has mostly to do with the paperwork and filing of an I-130 for a visa.

Actually, I'm moving it to the Family Changes forum, far more appropriate.

[boo boo 1]

I am sorry that you are going thru all of this, I hope that things improve and that you will heal from the stress you are going thru right now. I think that you should have a heart to heart talk with your SO and maybe see if you could get some counceling together if needed.

[Westindy 0]

This man seems very dangerous to me. I would suggest removing your self from that situation. Someone made a good suggestion about catholic charities. They will definitley help you. Remember he does not have to hit you for it to be abuse!! No one deserves to be treated like that. It sounds like he had already made up in his mind before you came that he did not want you there. He should have been man enough to tell you. I'm so sorry for your troubles my dear, I will keep you in my prayers.

[tomuts 0]

Personally i think you should seek couceling with him and stay at a safe distance to see how the marriage counceling goes i think divorce is a last resort. And marriage is a commitment that should be revered.

[typee0 0]

Love does not hurt and does not have to be so complicated. It sounds as though he has made no efforts towards you. As a woman you must learn that it is not up to you to make him or things happy. Be Safe, Wake Up!!! You are the most important person to your self. Help you out. Find out what Catholic Charities can do for you. Check the local red cross.