The Vent - Part 2

[thetreble 19]

There's a difference, however, between acting up once in a while and doing it on a regular basis.

How often do you see these kids? Do you see them when they are being quiet? Do you ever get to see them when they are joys? All you see is them being terrors for a couple of hours once and awhile.

Again, I don't have kids and I don't have much of a maternal instinct, but I still think you are acting like a bit of a "#######" here, Deadpool.

Could your nieces and nephews do with a spanking? Sure they can! I don't think it's rude though when it's kids in your family. Maybe if it is someone's kids you don't know who are attacking you, but your family?

And if you will let something like the way a child acts tear apart your family then maybe you shouldn't be involved in the concept of family, then. Every one has a lot of STUPID shite happen in their family, but if you chose to succumb to it, I think that is nothing more than weakness and that you don't hold a strong sense of what family really means.

I just think it's kinda selfish to say, "I want to spend adult time with my sister in law without her kids..." You sort of make it sound like you are stuck up a little bit. Is it too much to ask? It's not about being too much, it's about it being kinda out of line and not really any of your concern.

I don't think it's selfish or stuck up. My wife never gets a chance to talk to her sister without the kids present. My sister-in-law doesn't live that close and even when talking on the phone, her kids are in the background making noise and demanding her attention. I don't think it's too much to ask that my wife get to talk to her sister (in an adult context) a couple of times per year.

Pay to get her a baby sitter then. Problem solved. You can't MAKE someone kick their kids out of the room and be irresponsible while they yack on the phone. Kids need supervision.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I just think it's kinda selfish to say, "I want to spend adult time with my sister in law without her kids..." You sort of make it sound like you are stuck up a little bit. Is it too much to ask? It's not about being too much, it's about it being kinda out of line and not really any of your concern.

I don't think it's selfish or stuck up. My wife never gets a chance to talk to her sister without the kids present. My sister-in-law doesn't live that close and even when talking on the phone, her kids are in the background making noise and demanding her attention. I don't think it's too much to ask that my wife get to talk to her sister (in an adult context) a couple of times per year.

then why not offer to babysit so she and her sister can go out ...

Not an entirely bad idea, but once again, her sister isn't close. It'd take a lot of planning to do that, but I suppose that's the cost.

Just so you all know, my wife and I have volunteered to watch their kids when it's my sister-in-law's wedding anniversary. While I don't particularly care for children, I realize that my sister-in-law and her husband desire some time alone, especially when it's their anniversary.

[Marilyn. 340]

I just think it's kinda selfish to say, "I want to spend adult time with my sister in law without her kids..." You sort of make it sound like you are stuck up a little bit. Is it too much to ask? It's not about being too much, it's about it being kinda out of line and not really any of your concern.

I don't think it's selfish or stuck up. My wife never gets a chance to talk to her sister without the kids present. My sister-in-law doesn't live that close and even when talking on the phone, her kids are in the background making noise and demanding her attention. I don't think it's too much to ask that my wife get to talk to her sister (in an adult context) a couple of times per year.

then why not offer to babysit so she and her sister can go out ...

Not an entirely bad idea, but once again, her sister isn't close. It'd take a lot of planning to do that, but I suppose that's the cost.

Just so you all know, my wife and I have volunteered to watch their kids when it's my sister-in-law's wedding anniversary. While I don't particularly care for children, I realize that my sister-in-law and her husband desire some time alone, especially when it's their anniversary.

I meant when you are their visiting her sister.. you could offer to babysit...

Edited April 7, 2009 by *Marilyn*

[trailmix 77]

I don't want children nor do I need them. However, in the unlikely event I did have kids, I wouldn't allow them to run all over the place, yelling and screaming and messing with anything they can reach. That's not only incredibly rude, but it can -- and most likely will -- cause problems between family and friends. Being so permissive could potentially harm the children as well, considering that a large part of a person's growth and development is dependent on their parents.

Kids need to know that the parent is the boss. What the parent says is the final say in matters. Whether or not the parent's ruling is "fair" is irrelevant. Parent aren't there to be a child's "buddy." If that means playing the "bad guy," then so be it.

I'm not completely without a heart, so I know young children need to be given some leeway. They don't always obey (who does?) and more often than not, it's their lack of an attention span and increasing boredom that causes problems. There's a difference, however, between acting up once in a while and doing it on a regular basis.

I realize this may be a sensitive topic for some here. I am not commenting on your children or your parenting abilities. If you love children, then that's great. I'm not suggesting anyone should change their viewpoint.

I don't care for children when they're a nuisance. Unfortunately, we can't always dictate what kids will do, say or how they're respond to certain stimuli. Because of this fact, I don't want children. The very last thing I want to do is become what irritates me so badly.

Hey - I don't disagree with you on discipline. I was very big on discipline with my child, no - he was not the child constantly interrupting or screaming in the restaurant or running around aimlessly - no no never!

But that's ME - I don't expect everyone else to do what I did - that's kind of what I was saying. So do I appreciate the behaviour of the child that stands there going mom mom mom MOOOM - no, so if I knew someone with children that annoyed me it would strictly be a no - kids - around lunch or I would just avoid them altogether

[JillA 2]

I don't want children nor do I need them. However, in the unlikely event I did have kids, I wouldn't allow them to run all over the place, yelling and screaming and messing with anything they can reach. That's not only incredibly rude, but it can -- and most likely will -- cause problems between family and friends. Being so permissive could potentially harm the children as well, considering that a large part of a person's growth and development is dependent on their parents.

Kids need to know that the parent is the boss. What the parent says is the final say in matters. Whether or not the parent's ruling is "fair" is irrelevant. Parent aren't there to be a child's "buddy." If that means playing the "bad guy," then so be it.

I'm not completely without a heart, so I know young children need to be given some leeway. They don't always obey (who does?) and more often than not, it's their lack of an attention span and increasing boredom that causes problems. There's a difference, however, between acting up once in a while and doing it on a regular basis.

I realize this may be a sensitive topic for some here. I am not commenting on your children or your parenting abilities. If you love children, then that's great. I'm not suggesting anyone should change their viewpoint.

I don't care for children when they're a nuisance. Unfortunately, we can't always dictate what kids will do, say or how they're respond to certain stimuli. Because of this fact, I don't want children. The very last thing I want to do is become what irritates me so badly.

It sounds like you're talking about a dog, not kids. Everything you state is "easier said than done".

[Krikit 1,163]

Sometimes I wish that I could behave with wild abandon like a kid does. If I don't like or want to do something I would like the option to just stand there and scream "NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Most times I have a little giggle at the way children behave because it is so contrary to what we can do as adults. And then I feel sorry for the parents because they are probably operating on their last nerve and can't wait till they're in bed and asleep.

[thetreble 19]

Being a parent us such a tough job. You don't even realize it until you are older. I'm just starting to realize and empathize now at 25. I owe my parents the world. I'm going to try and pull a Mr. Burns and freeze them both and bring them back in 2100

[Sprailenes 47]

You just don't know until you've been there.

I am big on discipline but like trailmix said, discipline is different for everyone.

Until you've had kids, you just don't understand what it is like, but perhaps you should try to understand a little more.

But I gotta say you're more whiney than most 5 year olds I have met.

[JillA 2]

You just don't know until you've been there.

I am big on discipline but like trailmix said, discipline is different for everyone.

Until you've had kids, you just don't understand what it is like, but perhaps you should try to understand a little more.

But I gotta say you're more whiney than most 5 year olds I have met.

[DeadPoolX 9]

thetreble:

I know I sound like a "#######" but these are my feelings on the matter. Once again, I'm not saying anyone's children here are like what I described nor am I telling anyone here they're a bad parent. I don't know you (in real life) or your children. I can't realistically comment on such and I won't.

I don't see my nieces and nephew when they're at home. But to be blunt, I don't really care if they're perfect children at home. Maybe that's insensitive of me, but when they're home, I don't see them. When they're around me is when I have a problem. Whenever I see them, they act as if they're hopped on speed.

I realize kids can act like that, but it doesn't make the situation any less aggravating.

I never said a child's behavior would tear a family apart. I suppose it could in some rare instances, but overall, you're absolutely correct. What I did say was that a child's actions could create a feeling of resentment and animosity. I don't hate my nieces and nephew, but I'd rather not be around them when they act like I previously described.

I absolutely agree that kids need supervision and that it's unrealistic to expect children to be quiet when their mother or father is on the phone. I know I wasn't, but then again, I was severely disciplined by my father when that occurred. I'm not suggesting anyone take my father's route. Getting a babysitter is a good idea, but my sister-in-law is afraid to leave her kids in the hands of anyone but herself.

Marilyn:

That's an excellent idea and if at all possible, I would do it. My distaste for children is trumped by my wife's needs and desires.

trailmix:

You know I agree with you, so there's not a whole lot to say. Thank you for understanding.

JillA:

I know I'll receive a huge amount of flak for this, but young children and dogs have a lot in common. The mental state exhibited by both at that time is quite similar. No, I'm not saying that children are dogs.

What I'm getting at is young children tend to act more on impulse based upon their wants without first considering the ramifications of their actions. Dogs do the same. Neither can comprehend certain facets of life and interaction.

That's not a failing on the part of young children or dogs. It's simply a mental limitation. No, I am not saying children are stupid. Their minds haven't matured enough to understand and consider certain concepts. That's all.

The main difference between a child and a dog (among various eating and bathroom habits) is that children eventually grow up and become aware. Dogs, on the other hand, remain the same.

Sprailenes:

I'm sure you're right -- I don't know what it's like to have children and I'm sure discipline is different for everyone. However, I've stated numerous times that I don't wish to have children which voids my potential to understand as "having been there."

Believe it or not, I do try to "understand a little more" when I'm around children. I know that kids aren't entirely responsible for their actions. Once again, that doesn't change the overall frustration I feel.

I probably do whine more than most 5 year-olds when it comes to this subject. There's no way a young child could understand the annoyance they -- or others in their age group -- can bring to an adult.

Edited April 7, 2009 by Sentinel

[TheATeam 0]

And this is the reason I'm not sure I ever want to have kids! There are some parents out there who are complete pushovers and that makes for some terribly behaved kids. I'll give you an example. My mom couldn't/wouldn't discipline my little brother when we were younger, but she'd sure discipline me and my other brother. Anyway, he was a holy terror which is probably why she didn't even attempt disciplining him. Fast forward and he's 23 years old, planning on living at home for the summer, mooching off of my parents, like he's done for the last 4 summers. He didn't ask, just assumed they would be fine on it. Well, my dad got laid off and there's no income coming in but he still expects for them to pay for him for 4 months while he makes money and uses it to go off and travel Europe for a year! How insensitive and rude is that? My parents have supported him and given him everything in the last 5 years while he's been in university. This last year he didn't even try to pull his grades up so he doesn't fail the MCAT again! I completely resent it as my other brother and I didn't get treated like this at all. There were no free passes for us. Thank goodness we're mostly well adjusted now though! ARGHhhh....it frustrates me to no end, especially because my mom just lets him walk all over her and he's enjoying every second of it. He's such a little #######!

[JillA 2]

Despite all the difficulties that come with raising kids, I can't wait for the day I get to start a family I look forward to the challenges and joys very much.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Despite all the difficulties that come with raising kids, I can't wait for the day I get to start a family I look forward to the challenges and joys very much.

I wish you luck. Just because kids aren't for me, doesn't mean they can't be a very positive endeavor for others.

[trailmix 77]

Despite all the difficulties that come with raising kids, I can't wait for the day I get to start a family I look forward to the challenges and joys very much.

I wish you luck. Just because kids aren't for me, doesn't mean they can't be a very positive endeavor for others.

Yeah, Children are great

They are really cute and they are smart and lovely and sensitive and wise and they love you a lot (well until they get to be teenagers)

[SapphireDreams 71]

Despite all the difficulties that come with raising kids, I can't wait for the day I get to start a family I look forward to the challenges and joys very much.

I'm the same way. I am VERY excited to be a Mom and have my own family. I love kids. I know I'm going to be so impatient waiting to have them (we're going to wait until we're a bit more established).