The Vent - Part 2

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Bravo, Jill!

[Maeve 2]

So so soooo frustrated with everything!

It's been over a year, and we've not done anything we intended to. I'd hoped that we had gotten into shape by now, that chris would be back in the military, we'd have moved and I'd have a break from working.

Well....being out of work for so long made him lazy, because we've both gained a whole lot of weight, and though we've been going to a gym and trainer several times a week, we can't afford o go as often as I'd like, and though we keep talking about getting in shape and what he wants to do in the service, we don't do enough! I keep saying that we should be running, but we don't.

I've asked him so many times to get a job, but he's very picky about the kind of work he wants to do, and most of them involve being in shape already! Argh!!!

I also had to take a higher stress job because the pay is higher, but I'm working so much overtime to pay off the car, that I'm always tired, so even though I want things to change, I barely have any motivation!

I hate feeling so stuck! I wish I'd have moved up to Canada instead; then I wouldn't have to worry about all this...I might still be a bit miserable, but at least id be in better shape and would have time to do the things I enjoy. I keep saying that maybe we should move up there; chris' dad is a Navy DI, so he could probably get him back in shape and back into the military...I don't have that many friends here in the states anyway, and very few ties, other than my therapist. I need a change sooooo badly, but I can't. Sometimes I wish I could just run away...

[trailmix 77]

Sorry to hear you are so stressed - so why not move to Canada now? (Oh and my suggestion is - get rid of the car - nooooo car is worth stressing over!! )

[Maeve 2]

Sorry to hear you are so stressed - so why not move to Canada now? (Oh and my suggestion is - get rid of the car - nooooo car is worth stressing over!! )

I'd love to move to Canada, but Im not sure I can convince him. And i always stress about money anyway - curses of being Dutch But my car pretty much died, and he convinced me to get one that was newer so it would last longer. Thankfully it's a very good car and is still under warrenty, but I've *never* been in debt before, and it's freaking me out!!!

[Jamaican JNR 2]

Here is the original Thread of The Vent.

Here's my vent...

Montreal is SOOOOOO backlogged!!! Why won't the US allow Toronto to do K1 and other interviews??? Toronto is SO ,much closer, easier to get in & pout of transportation-wise as well as cheaper! Not to mention language friendly (English is more prominent than French).

Argh!!! Common sense... and I'm a USC frustrated with my own country and how they do the interviews!!!!

In time, I do think that the authorities will listen.

[Varba 0]

Sorry to hear you are so stressed - so why not move to Canada now? (Oh and my suggestion is - get rid of the car - nooooo car is worth stressing over!! )

I'd love to move to Canada, but Im not sure I can convince him. And i always stress about money anyway - curses of being Dutch But my car pretty much died, and he convinced me to get one that was newer so it would last longer. Thankfully it's a very good car and is still under warrenty, but I've *never* been in debt before, and it's freaking me out!!!

A little debt is a good thing (especially something useful like cars). Believe it or not, the people in charge of credit ratings (even the international ones, if you're planning on moving in the future) really like to see how you handle paying off "big" loans.

I'm sure that doesn't really help the stress, but just think of it as a credit building exercise that will pay off in the future.

If you're feeling this level of stress, have you told your hubby? He might not realize you're feeling this level of stress, and knowing you are might help kick him into gear to get a job to help out.

(I hope.)

We the members of vent thread are here to listen at the very least!

[The_Dude 1,142]

Well just as I'm getting over this 2 week old cold..... I learned on friday that aparently, I made a mistake on my taxes, in 2007. I had cashed out my 401k for a company that I worked for a short time with. They had set up the 401k through this odd fund that charged you a huge fee to roll it over into another one, so I cashed it out at the time. Aparently, I did something wrong when filing my taxes that year and the IRS says I owe $1100. Luckily, my sister is a talented accountant and is helping me out. But i'm having to call all around the country to try to get copies faxed to me of my disbursement from that 401K so I can show that I did pay $600 in taxes on it.

[trailmix 77]

A little debt is a good thing (especially something useful like cars). Believe it or not, the people in charge of credit ratings (even the international ones, if you're planning on moving in the future) really like to see how you handle paying off "big" loans.

I'm sure that doesn't really help the stress, but just think of it as a credit building exercise that will pay off in the future.

If you're feeling this level of stress, have you told your hubby? He might not realize you're feeling this level of stress, and knowing you are might help kick him into gear to get a job to help out.

(I hope.)

We the members of vent thread are here to listen at the very least!

I always have thought that it's very interesting how differently people see debt and loans etc etc. I don't think that debt in relation to credit rating is really a huge issue, well at least not that I have seen, say in terms of a mortgage etc. While we have a lot of credit, we don't tend to have debt and we have a terrific credit rating. I think it's more about qualifying on your good history of payments rather than carrying actual debt.

Plus, suppose you want to buy a house, any debt you have counts against you - especially in Canada where most banks dictate that your mortgage payment cannot exceed something like 30% of your income, so in fact debt works against you on the amount of house you can finance.

As for financing a car, well a car is handy and a necessity in a way (it's not really, I mean there are other forms of transportation, however who wants to stand at an LRT station or bus stop when it's -30) - but i've always thought that buying a reliable car, within our means was more important than having a new car. Either car will get you from point A to point B - but the car within your means - really means you won't be working overtime and getting stressed paying it off.

With that I don't mean that I think no one should ever finance a car, I used a line of credit once to finance one, but I would never buy one that had me working overtime (but my priorities are different than other peoples sometimes - I know this).

Oh and Jill - good for you!

Edited October 12, 2009 by trailmix

[The_Dude 1,142]

A little debt is a good thing (especially something useful like cars). Believe it or not, the people in charge of credit ratings (even the international ones, if you're planning on moving in the future) really like to see how you handle paying off "big" loans.

I'm sure that doesn't really help the stress, but just think of it as a credit building exercise that will pay off in the future.

If you're feeling this level of stress, have you told your hubby? He might not realize you're feeling this level of stress, and knowing you are might help kick him into gear to get a job to help out.

(I hope.)

We the members of vent thread are here to listen at the very least!

I always have thought that it's very interesting how differently people see debt and loans etc etc. I don't think that debt in relation to credit rating is really a huge issue, well at least not that I have seen, say in terms of a mortgage etc. While we have a lot of credit, we don't tend to have debt and we have a terrific credit rating. I think it's more about qualifying on your good history of payments rather than carrying actual debt.

Plus, suppose you want to buy a house, any debt you have counts against you - especially in Canada where most banks dictate that your mortgage payment cannot exceed something like 30% of your income, so in fact debt works against you on the amount of house you can finance.

As for financing a car, well a car is handy and a necessity in a way (it's not really, I mean there are other forms of transportation, however who wants to stand at an LRT station or bus stop when it's -30) - but i've always thought that buying a reliable car, within our means was more important than having a new car. Either car will get you from point A to point B - but the car within your means - really means you won't be working overtime and getting stressed paying it off.

With that I don't mean that I think no one should ever finance a car, I used a line of credit once to finance one, but I would never buy one that had me working overtime (but my priorities are different than other peoples sometimes - I know this).

Oh and Jill - good for you!

Debt in relation to credit is a big deal to the credit reporting agencies, and the creditors who set up these agencies in the first place. It's not simply the amount of debt that someone carries, but how they pay it, and how well they carry it. If they are going to issue you a large sum of money to be paid over 5-30 years, I think it is in their best interest to see how you've done historically in making consistent payments on things. Someone with $150k in the bank, but zero credit history tells me nothing of their credit worthiness as opposed to someone who has paid off a brand new car, student loans, and has 6 credit accounts all in good standing.

[Varba 0]

A little debt is a good thing (especially something useful like cars). Believe it or not, the people in charge of credit ratings (even the international ones, if you're planning on moving in the future) really like to see how you handle paying off "big" loans.

I'm sure that doesn't really help the stress, but just think of it as a credit building exercise that will pay off in the future.

If you're feeling this level of stress, have you told your hubby? He might not realize you're feeling this level of stress, and knowing you are might help kick him into gear to get a job to help out.

(I hope.)

We the members of vent thread are here to listen at the very least!

I always have thought that it's very interesting how differently people see debt and loans etc etc. I don't think that debt in relation to credit rating is really a huge issue, well at least not that I have seen, say in terms of a mortgage etc. While we have a lot of credit, we don't tend to have debt and we have a terrific credit rating. I think it's more about qualifying on your good history of payments rather than carrying actual debt.

Plus, suppose you want to buy a house, any debt you have counts against you - especially in Canada where most banks dictate that your mortgage payment cannot exceed something like 30% of your income, so in fact debt works against you on the amount of house you can finance.

As for financing a car, well a car is handy and a necessity in a way (it's not really, I mean there are other forms of transportation, however who wants to stand at an LRT station or bus stop when it's -30) - but i've always thought that buying a reliable car, within our means was more important than having a new car. Either car will get you from point A to point B - but the car within your means - really means you won't be working overtime and getting stressed paying it off.

With that I don't mean that I think no one should ever finance a car, I used a line of credit once to finance one, but I would never buy one that had me working overtime (but my priorities are different than other peoples sometimes - I know this).

Oh and Jill - good for you!

Debt in relation to credit is a big deal to the credit reporting agencies, and the creditors who set up these agencies in the first place. It's not simply the amount of debt that someone carries, but how they pay it, and how well they carry it. If they are going to issue you a large sum of money to be paid over 5-30 years, I think it is in their best interest to see how you've done historically in making consistent payments on things. Someone with $150k in the bank, but zero credit history tells me nothing of their credit worthiness as opposed to someone who has paid off a brand new car, student loans, and has 6 credit accounts all in good standing.

However, as I _painfully_ found out, it is NOT enough to just pay all your loans off without late payments.

I paid my way through university, paid off my car, and happily sat around not borrowing money.

Next thing I know, I ask for a loan for Peachey's ring - and I'm denied.

I talked with my money guy and found out that I did have one late payment (oops), but what was worse was - since I had no debt for several years... Creditors were looking at me as a huge credit risk.

In effect, since I hadn't borrowed any money for years, my credit rating "slid" back towards the dark side. I've been working hard on it all year... essentially borrowing money when I don't need to (with 0% interest of course - I am not interested in spending more than I have to) and making consistent payments.

It's worked great, my credit is back to where it should be - it just took me being in debt.

My money guy highly recommends that at any one point you have at least 3 "debts". It can be something small like a credit card that you put 20$ (or less!) on each month AND pay off. Or even something like what Peachey and I did - buying a new bed and putting it on a loan to make a small monthly payment against. (A lot of furniture stores are hurting for sales and can get you 0% interest.)

Keeping your payments on time is only half the battle - you also need to ensure that payments exist - or you can end up in the same boat as me.

[trailmix 77]

Oh ok, we are talking about 2 different things. I don't consider a credit card card that you pay off each month to be "debt". Yes, you have to use the credit - you are right - and we do, we use our Am Express card all the time, we collect Air Miles reward points from it, so that's fun. We also use other cards from time to time for whatever reason.

What I was talking about is actually carrying a debt. It's one thing to use your credit regularly, it's another to think that having a loan or whatever to pay off is helpful.

Although we only lived in the U.S. for 15 months, we had an excellent credit rating and we were pre-approved for a mortgage. Now some of that was very slightly dependant on our Canadian credit rating - since we went through RBC, however the majority of it was based on our U.S. credit score.

Edited October 12, 2009 by trailmix

[Varba 0]

Most of my purchases were either from my debit card, or my one credit card - which I paid off every month.

Apparently, this too is a mistake, as I never really cared about limits or anything - they looked at the amounts going through my credit card (sometimes I'd buy computer equipment - sometimes work stuff and get reimbursed) and see that I had a high ratio of balance to limit.

This also lowers your score - or at least the likelihood for getting a loan. If you don't have any loans for your "debt", it's my understanding that you should at least have three credit cards. And use them at least once a month - even if it's for 5 bucks.

I know, it sounds retarded to me too. But, following my money guy's advice I raised my credit rating from not so good, to good. Working on the "really good" level.

*edit*

I'm glad it worked that way for you TrailMix. =)

Just figured I'd share my two cents for whatever it's worth. Sometimes a little debt is very good.

Edited October 12, 2009 by Varba

[ashenflowers 5]

so... my vent for today is having to work on freaken Thanksgiving.. and I'm the only one in the office. I don't even make enough money for it to be worth it... but hey... the clients need their f'ing deadlines met and decide to send twice the work to be done in 1/2 the time, so here I am.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

so... my vent for today is having to work on freaken Thanksgiving.. and I'm the only one in the office. I don't even make enough money for it to be worth it... but hey... the clients need their f'ing deadlines met and decide to send twice the work to be done in 1/2 the time, so here I am.

Screw the f-ing clients and their f-ing deadlines I say!

[Varba 0]

so... my vent for today is having to work on freaken Thanksgiving.. and I'm the only one in the office. I don't even make enough money for it to be worth it... but hey... the clients need their f'ing deadlines met and decide to send twice the work to be done in 1/2 the time, so here I am.

Screw the f-ing clients and their f-ing deadlines I say!

I agree with the above statement.

I've had obscene amounts of overtime this year for a client who doesn't care at all (or pay extra for my overtime).

I don't get anything from my company for the overtime either, but my boss has been _very_ lenient on my "work out of the office" aka "work at Peachey's house" this year too.

So I can't complain too loudly.

Cept about that friggin call I got at 10pm to fix servers in Kangaroo land... was on that call till like 3am and had to go in the next day. ><