The Vent - Part 2

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thank you, Danu - that is so nice to hear - and yeah, some of them are really -er- weird, yeah, that's the word, weird!

[thetreble 19]

I want to get the heck outta dodge NOW!!!!

Between my mother and my future MIL.... Can't even be bothered to tell me that the guest list has changed for the rehearsal dinner...then when I ask her to clarify about it she's all pissy and leaves the IM conversation abruptly!! Then has the obdasity to call Brad and said I was the one who was upset with her?!?!? They picked out the place 2 weeks ago, could you not have mentioned it then, that the place has a capacity limit and that your plans have changed for the numbers!!! Everything seems to change with her....back and forth......

Mom well she can't keep her damn opinions, nasty sarcastic insulting comments to her self. Even though I shut her down right away and ask her to stop, and am pretty clear that I have already decided on something. Even when I have shut her down, she continues on....like what part of it didn't you understand the first time?!?! Its not up for discussion!! She's never had anything nice to say....ever!!!!!!!!!!! I get home work and from the doctor this morning and first words out of her mouth were insulting and dripping with sarcasm. Did she stop there?....no came back 30 minutes later and said...you wanna know something....I said I am not interested in hearing your opinion I didn't ask for it......Did she listen? no!!! Another insult! Thnx mom!!!! You are not an expert! Who does she pick on the most? ME!! When its my younger sister that is needing the most attention and guidance right now! She has no frickin idea even though we have been through this before on how to separate the fact that I am a young adult living at home and a child living at home who still needs to go through mommy for everything!!! It has been a tough adjustment since I lived on my own while in university and I have made changes to adapt, now its her turn!!

Ah! Stay in there, love. I know it's tough living with in laws, or your own family, and also dealing with family in general. Try to picture your future. I didn't do enough of that when I lived with my in laws for a year before we bought a house. I felt stuck constantly and always was under the weight of their opinions, not to mention them watching first hand my first year of marriage being on display. But then we broke free and it's much better for every one involved.

Being an adult and living WITH adults is really not an easy situation. Keep smiling!

[minnew 4]

I want to get the heck outta dodge NOW!!!!

Between my mother and my future MIL.... Can't even be bothered to tell me that the guest list has changed for the rehearsal dinner...then when I ask her to clarify about it she's all pissy and leaves the IM conversation abruptly!! Then has the obdasity to call Brad and said I was the one who was upset with her?!?!? They picked out the place 2 weeks ago, could you not have mentioned it then, that the place has a capacity limit and that your plans have changed for the numbers!!! Everything seems to change with her....back and forth......

Mom well she can't keep her damn opinions, nasty sarcastic insulting comments to her self. Even though I shut her down right away and ask her to stop, and am pretty clear that I have already decided on something. Even when I have shut her down, she continues on....like what part of it didn't you understand the first time?!?! Its not up for discussion!! She's never had anything nice to say....ever!!!!!!!!!!! I get home work and from the doctor this morning and first words out of her mouth were insulting and dripping with sarcasm. Did she stop there?....no came back 30 minutes later and said...you wanna know something....I said I am not interested in hearing your opinion I didn't ask for it......Did she listen? no!!! Another insult! Thnx mom!!!! You are not an expert! Who does she pick on the most? ME!! When its my younger sister that is needing the most attention and guidance right now! She has no frickin idea even though we have been through this before on how to separate the fact that I am a young adult living at home and a child living at home who still needs to go through mommy for everything!!! It has been a tough adjustment since I lived on my own while in university and I have made changes to adapt, now its her turn!!

Ah! Stay in there, love. I know it's tough living with in laws, or your own family, and also dealing with family in general. Try to picture your future. I didn't do enough of that when I lived with my in laws for a year before we bought a house. I felt stuck constantly and always was under the weight of their opinions, not to mention them watching first hand my first year of marriage being on display. But then we broke free and it's much better for every one involved.

Being an adult and living WITH adults is really not an easy situation. Keep smiling!

Thanks Danu and Amanda! I know I keep telling myself only 2 more months and I will be reunited with my fiance, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! My mom and I have a much better relationship when we do not live together! I think that goes for my father and sister too! Its hard living in a house with 4 adults all with different schedules and opinions! Ugh!

[Autumnchik 6]

I went to college when I was 17. I stayed down in DC for the summers the whole time I was in college. When I came home for the summer before grad. school and lived there, it was a nightmare, because although I was an adult, my mother still viewed me as the 17 year old who left. Just keep telling yourself you only have a couple months left!!!

[minnew 4]

I went to college when I was 17. I stayed down in DC for the summers the whole time I was in college. When I came home for the summer before grad. school and lived there, it was a nightmare, because although I was an adult, my mother still viewed me as the 17 year old who left. Just keep telling yourself you only have a couple months left!!!

I also left for university at 17, I spent 4 summers back in Canada during that time, spent 6 years away from home, even those 3 months were not so fun either! By the time I am reunited with him in 2 months, it will be 6 months since the last time I saw him! I am trying to keep myself busy with working and wedding planning, it still sucks though!

[Autumnchik 6]

Totally off subject, but I just read in another thread that you have a BSW, Minnew Social workers rock!!!

[minnew 4]

Totally off subject, but I just read in another thread that you have a BSW, Minnew Social workers rock!!!

Hehehe yes they do!! I read somewhere that you are a social worker as well, are you a BSW or MSW? I am undecided about pursuing graduate school, I really love what I am doing now, I just wish that BSW social workers in the US were paid more comparable to that of social workers in Canada, but I didn't join the profession to be rich thats for sure!

[trailmix 77]

I went to college when I was 17. I stayed down in DC for the summers the whole time I was in college. When I came home for the summer before grad. school and lived there, it was a nightmare, because although I was an adult, my mother still viewed me as the 17 year old who left. Just keep telling yourself you only have a couple months left!!!

I also left for university at 17, I spent 4 summers back in Canada during that time, spent 6 years away from home, even those 3 months were not so fun either! By the time I am reunited with him in 2 months, it will be 6 months since the last time I saw him! I am trying to keep myself busy with working and wedding planning, it still sucks though!

The relationship between adult children and their parents is challenging sometimes really. Mothers, especially, know their children really well, they know their moods etc and sometimes I think when we talk to our child or children we don't use the same language we would use with other people - we just jump right to the conclusion in a conversation - like we probably always have as they were growing up.

I think that is where some of the irritation with parents comes from.

[Autumnchik 6]

Totally off subject, but I just read in another thread that you have a BSW, Minnew Social workers rock!!!

Hehehe yes they do!! I read somewhere that you are a social worker as well, are you a BSW or MSW? I am undecided about pursuing graduate school, I really love what I am doing now, I just wish that BSW social workers in the US were paid more comparable to that of social workers in Canada, but I didn't join the profession to be rich thats for sure!

MSW. I am licensed clinically now and work in mental health. I am a huge proponent of SW education and always happy to talk about it Feel free to PM me if you ever have any questions about social work stuff.

[minnew 4]

Totally off subject, but I just read in another thread that you have a BSW, Minnew Social workers rock!!!

Hehehe yes they do!! I read somewhere that you are a social worker as well, are you a BSW or MSW? I am undecided about pursuing graduate school, I really love what I am doing now, I just wish that BSW social workers in the US were paid more comparable to that of social workers in Canada, but I didn't join the profession to be rich thats for sure!

MSW. I am licensed clinically now and work in mental health. I am a huge proponent of SW education and always happy to talk about it Feel free to PM me if you ever have any questions about social work stuff.

Thanks autumn!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

being ignored...that bothers me a lot...especially when you go out of your way to try and help someone out

[Chica Yeyé 41]

being ignored...that bothers me a lot...especially when you go out of your way to try and help someone out

I won't ignore you.

Here, have a cookie

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I won't ignore you.

Here, have a cookie

No cookies, I'm on a diet

Edited July 24, 2009 by ~Laura and Nick~

[DeadPoolX 9]

TheTreble -- see the thread I created for an apology to you.

Now to my vent -- actually two of them. Some of you know that I've had numerous problems with the Canadian government. It hasn't all been bad, but most of it has been quite aggravating. This extends to ICBC/Autoplan and Revenue Canada.

FIRST VENT

When I signed up for insurance with Autoplan, I was told that if I presented them with proof of my claim-free driving history, I'd get a huge discount on the cost of insurance (and it's retroactive, as well). So that's cool and I got my history.

I presented that history to Autoplan and guess what? Problems! They said that I needed to show my history to Autoplan WHEN FIRST APPLYING! That's nice and all, but I was FIRST TOLD about it when applying for the first time. So how was I supposed to know? I actually commented that "I apparently need to know before knowing" to the Autoplan agent I was working with. She laughed and said, "Yeah, that's about right."

Because I didn't know this -- and couldn't have before applying for the first time -- I was getting charged $20 for presenting my history late. I was more than a little annoyed about this, but at least it's only twenty bucks, right? That shouldn't be too hard to pay, right?

Guess again!

Autoplan doesn't accept credit, debit or cash. You know... all three methods of payment that everyone carries on them. So I'd need to get a check or a money order. Naturally, I didn't have either on me.

I then asked if there's any other way. The agent said I could use cash, but then they'd have to get it cleared with their broker. Once that happened they could send it off to ICBC. So they do take cash, but they obviously don't want anyone knowing that.

I asked how long the whole process would take and she said: "Anywhere between two weeks and two months."

I wondered how long it'd take with a check and you know what she said? The very same thing! So I asked what's the benefit to using a check? She replied, "It's easier for us."

Needless to say, I used cash. If the wait time is the same, why not?

SECOND VENT

Revenue Canada has decided that it will tax me for income earned OUTSIDE of Canada BEFORE I moved here and became a resident. The info sheet said that if I didn't pay the amount they specified by July 27th, I'd get charged interest.

Well, I knew this didn't sound kosher, so I called them up. The agent said I shouldn't be charged for that and that I need to fill out a form and send it to them explaining my situation. Okay, I figured it'd be something like that. No problem.

The agent also said that I need to contact Revenue Canada's collections department so I'm not charged interest. Once again, that shouldn't be a problem and I thank the agent.

I call the collections department and guess what? Even though the statement I received from Revenue Canada specified that if I didn't pay by July 27th, I'd get charged... they're still charging me interest! Not only that, they started charging me BEFORE they even sent the letter to me!

So this is how it works: I get charged interest before I get a chance to respond and before the deadline, in which I'm supposed to pay or I get charged interest. Does any of this make sense? It sure doesn't to me.

[trailmix 77]

Actually neither thing makes sense. I assume you have already spoken with a supervisor or manager for autoplan and explained the situation? I'm not familiar with government auto insurance - we don't have that in Alberta - but are they the only agency you can insure with?

As for Revenue Canada - just not right. When you were speaking with the collections department, did they sort it out for you?