The Vent - Part 2

[trailmix 77]

I am feeling really frazzled today. Like I wish I were in roller derby or something so I can legally crack some skulls.

Okay I am totally kidding but its just been one of those days.

Frazzled is no fun!

Edited June 24, 2009 by trailmix

[Sprailenes 47]

I know. I think its my son leaving for the summer, too much stuff to do, not knowing where to start, plus it's hot, the weather has been crappy and I am just feeling like a big knot.

It's not even a lot of stuff to do... really when I list it all it's like a tiny list. I don't know what my problem is.. hormones perhaps.

BOO!

[Mephys 2]

rant so long I had to make a topic about it .....

[Krikit 1,165]

If I take the time to be polite to you when you call MY HOME and I have to say "Sorry, you've got the wrong number," at least have the decency to thank me for it before saying "Oh" then hanging up!!!!!!!

[thetreble 19]

I have gas pains.

[Krikit 1,165]

[Mephys 2]

[thetreble 19]

nu uh! none of that, please! I had some pop yesterday and it's been bothering me since. But I don't like to use stuff like that. I have a pretty good digestive tract so I'm worried what those things would do to me!

[Danu 19]

I'm tired of being stressed out and tired.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment coping with my parents, with not being able to visit Wes due to lack of money due to having to save for the move and AOS, with not knowing when my interview will be and when I can finally be with him again. I'm tired of being sad. I'm sad because I miss Wes so much, I'm sad because I'm moving so far away, I'm sad because I have no job and don't feel like I'm contributing anything right now.

I'm really angry at my mom for making it sound like I'm abandoning her, and for trying to make it sound like I'm not sure what I want just because I'm "being torn into two directions". No ######. I'm going to be with the man I love more than anything in the whole world, but I'm leaving my family, the most important people in my life up to now, behind. I'm angry with my sister for trying to cover her pain of me moving by saying hurtful things and trying to pick fights which then lead to me being the one who gets in trouble.

But most of all I'm upset at myself for not being able to work through these things and having Wes be so worried about me and hear me go over the same issues over and over and over again. I want to be the happier version of me that I am when I'm with him, but I'm having such a hard time smiling at the moment when I miss him so much that I physcially ache. I know he is there for me no matter what, but I know its hard on him too when I am so far away and there is a limit to how he can help to comfort me.

*sigh* ok I'm done. I think I'm going to chant happy thoughts to myself tomorrow to see if it will help at all.

[MrsCat 6]

Hugs Danu

[Emancipation 2]

I'm not sure this is a rant.. we need a good cry thread..

I talked to my "best friend" last night after months of trying her she finally called me. She's the one person that no matter how much distance and time goes by we can always just pick up where we left off.. except last night..

She was totally sullen and withdrawn and if she hadn't called me I would have thought she just really doesn't want to talk to me anymore. She told me that she had a ####### job done 8 weeks ago which I knew NOTHING about.. She didn't even tell me she was going in for surgery, nada.. I knew she didn't like her body but she'd never confided in me that she wanted to get them done. Then she goes on to tell me that she is completely a home body now and doesn't talk to anyone, not her parents, not her friends, she just stays at home.. this girl is acadian thru and thru, loves socializing and loves to chatter, not anymore apparently. And then she goes on to tell me that her husband is all over her these days, affectionate and loving (which he's NEVER been), and how they went 50 thousand dollars in the hole last year alone ... it's like the world has gone mad.. and I don't know this person any more. I've never felt so outside of our relationship before, never felt so depressed about what is going on with us, and lost for her. She says she's never been better.. but it just makes me really sad.

[thetreble 19]

I'm tired of being stressed out and tired.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment coping with my parents, with not being able to visit Wes due to lack of money due to having to save for the move and AOS, with not knowing when my interview will be and when I can finally be with him again. I'm tired of being sad. I'm sad because I miss Wes so much, I'm sad because I'm moving so far away, I'm sad because I have no job and don't feel like I'm contributing anything right now.

I'm really angry at my mom for making it sound like I'm abandoning her, and for trying to make it sound like I'm not sure what I want just because I'm "being torn into two directions". No ######. I'm going to be with the man I love more than anything in the whole world, but I'm leaving my family, the most important people in my life up to now, behind. I'm angry with my sister for trying to cover her pain of me moving by saying hurtful things and trying to pick fights which then lead to me being the one who gets in trouble.

But most of all I'm upset at myself for not being able to work through these things and having Wes be so worried about me and hear me go over the same issues over and over and over again. I want to be the happier version of me that I am when I'm with him, but I'm having such a hard time smiling at the moment when I miss him so much that I physcially ache. I know he is there for me no matter what, but I know its hard on him too when I am so far away and there is a limit to how he can help to comfort me.

*sigh* ok I'm done. I think I'm going to chant happy thoughts to myself tomorrow to see if it will help at all.

Danu- I hope you feel better today.

Remember to try not to put too much pressure on your significant other. I don't know how Wes is, but I know that there were times I put a lot of worry on Jared because it was a struggle for us for the last few months before I moved to the US..and we almost broke up. He really started to think I was a bit crazy! I'm not saying you should cover your sadness or frustration, but try to focus on whats ahead.

I'm not sure what you mean by you get into trouble when you and your sister argue. I'm not sure how old you are but I would assume you don't really get into trouble, right? The best thing to do is try to keep your familial relationships as positive as you can! Even if you have to be overly nice, just do it. Nothing is worse than moving away and you weren't getting along with your family for a few months before it. You don't have to make them understand why you are doing what you are doing, but eventually they will come around to the idea of you being gone. Your mother shouldn't be making you feel like you are abandoning her. She's a grown woman! The point of having children is not so that they can keep around your feet until you die.

Being away from your other half is always hard. We all know that pain. But just so you know, it doesn't always get magically better once you get here on the other side. Then there seem to be a whole other series of issues once you get here that can also be very hard. I know there have been times where I certainly wish I could almost go back to being long distance again! You know what I mean

Don't worry, though! You will get through it and we are here to listen.

E- That is so scary. I don't think I've seen any one in my life make a total 360 like that.

[Danu 19]

I'm tired of being stressed out and tired.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment coping with my parents, with not being able to visit Wes due to lack of money due to having to save for the move and AOS, with not knowing when my interview will be and when I can finally be with him again. I'm tired of being sad. I'm sad because I miss Wes so much, I'm sad because I'm moving so far away, I'm sad because I have no job and don't feel like I'm contributing anything right now.

I'm really angry at my mom for making it sound like I'm abandoning her, and for trying to make it sound like I'm not sure what I want just because I'm "being torn into two directions". No ######. I'm going to be with the man I love more than anything in the whole world, but I'm leaving my family, the most important people in my life up to now, behind. I'm angry with my sister for trying to cover her pain of me moving by saying hurtful things and trying to pick fights which then lead to me being the one who gets in trouble.

But most of all I'm upset at myself for not being able to work through these things and having Wes be so worried about me and hear me go over the same issues over and over and over again. I want to be the happier version of me that I am when I'm with him, but I'm having such a hard time smiling at the moment when I miss him so much that I physcially ache. I know he is there for me no matter what, but I know its hard on him too when I am so far away and there is a limit to how he can help to comfort me.

*sigh* ok I'm done. I think I'm going to chant happy thoughts to myself tomorrow to see if it will help at all.

Danu- I hope you feel better today.

Remember to try not to put too much pressure on your significant other. I don't know how Wes is, but I know that there were times I put a lot of worry on Jared because it was a struggle for us for the last few months before I moved to the US..and we almost broke up. He really started to think I was a bit crazy! I'm not saying you should cover your sadness or frustration, but try to focus on whats ahead.

I'm not sure what you mean by you get into trouble when you and your sister argue. I'm not sure how old you are but I would assume you don't really get into trouble, right? The best thing to do is try to keep your familial relationships as positive as you can! Even if you have to be overly nice, just do it. Nothing is worse than moving away and you weren't getting along with your family for a few months before it. You don't have to make them understand why you are doing what you are doing, but eventually they will come around to the idea of you being gone. Your mother shouldn't be making you feel like you are abandoning her. She's a grown woman! The point of having children is not so that they can keep around your feet until you die.

Being away from your other half is always hard. We all know that pain. But just so you know, it doesn't always get magically better once you get here on the other side. Then there seem to be a whole other series of issues once you get here that can also be very hard. I know there have been times where I certainly wish I could almost go back to being long distance again! You know what I mean

Don't worry, though! You will get through it and we are here to listen.

E- That is so scary. I don't think I've seen any one in my life make a total 360 like that.

Thanks hon. I got a good sleep so I am feeling a bit better. I'm trying sooooo hard not to put it all on Wes but if I look the least bit upset he nags me until I tell him what is going on, even if I think its just stupid stuff. As for getting in trouble, even at 24, living under my parents roof with my sister is like being a teenager, which isnt helping. I get yelled at a lot and talked to about how unhelpful I am etc etc. If I wasnt moving soon, I would be moving out, because its driving me crazy. Today though I'm going to try to have a really good day and stop being such a baby

E - thats pretty sad. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have to cope with someone completely changing who they are. I doubt though that she is as happy as she thinks she is, as shes not really being herself. Hopefully she will realize it and come back to her senses. *hug*

Edited June 25, 2009 by Danu

[SapphireDreams 71]

I'm tired of being stressed out and tired.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment coping with my parents, with not being able to visit Wes due to lack of money due to having to save for the move and AOS, with not knowing when my interview will be and when I can finally be with him again. I'm tired of being sad. I'm sad because I miss Wes so much, I'm sad because I'm moving so far away, I'm sad because I have no job and don't feel like I'm contributing anything right now.

I'm really angry at my mom for making it sound like I'm abandoning her, and for trying to make it sound like I'm not sure what I want just because I'm "being torn into two directions". No ######. I'm going to be with the man I love more than anything in the whole world, but I'm leaving my family, the most important people in my life up to now, behind. I'm angry with my sister for trying to cover her pain of me moving by saying hurtful things and trying to pick fights which then lead to me being the one who gets in trouble.

But most of all I'm upset at myself for not being able to work through these things and having Wes be so worried about me and hear me go over the same issues over and over and over again. I want to be the happier version of me that I am when I'm with him, but I'm having such a hard time smiling at the moment when I miss him so much that I physcially ache. I know he is there for me no matter what, but I know its hard on him too when I am so far away and there is a limit to how he can help to comfort me.

*sigh* ok I'm done. I think I'm going to chant happy thoughts to myself tomorrow to see if it will help at all.

Danu, this sounds a lot like what I went through up until my move and it was not easy. My family is very important to me and always will be. I felt and still feel a lot of guilt for moving and leaving them. But at the end of the day it came down to a choice and a decision that I felt was the best decision for me at this time. My family didn't really start to express their feelings about it all until the day I moved, which made it really hard to say good bye. In the end, the day I moved and the day after was probably one of the most emotional, overwhelming days I've ever experienced in my life. I have cried more than I ever thought I would. My husband feels guilt and I try to tell him its not about him, but he does get frustrated with me because he knows that I want this but doesn't understand why I get so sad about my family. Nothing could've prepared me for this, so I don't know what to tell you. What I can say now is that you just have to give it time. I had one major blowout after our honeymoon and after that I felt a lot better. I still get a bit teary when I talk to my Mom or Dad on the phone, but it's getting easier and I'm starting to get used to it here.

I guess the one thing I regret is that I feel like I really took my relationship with my Mom and Dad for granted. Try to enjoy your time with everyone now while you can.

[Krikit 1,165]

Everyone's given you good advice, Danu. Immigration is not for the faint of heart. And the others are correct that it will be so much harder the day of and the months following the move. Like Sapphire says, you really can't prepare yourself for that.... just be forewarned.

Emancipation.... that's so very sad about your relationship with your friend. It probably just feels like a different person because you didn't get the opportunity to have an ongoing dialogue with her about the changes in her life. They just hit you out of the blue. Sounds like this is one of those times where friends come and go in your life. It's hard when we lose those dear to us. Big hugs.