The Vent - Part 2

[Krikit 1,163]

There is nothing sacred on VJ. lol

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

There is nothing sacred on VJ. lol

you've been to ot, you know better.

[JillA 2]

For those of you women who don't like your in-laws (*cough Krikit*) here is a site for you all:

http://www.tortureddaughtersinlaw.com/forums/

My sister told me about it, sort of like VJ but to discuss monster in-laws! Mine are nice, so I don't vent on there but she does, as she has a really horrible relationship with them.

[Sprailenes 47]

Um I think I'll sign up for that.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I got an email from an old friend. Long story short, a college friend was killed in an accident when his cousin (who was also a part of our clique) drove a golf cart drunk. It was a freak accident, but ever since then, nobody in our group of friends really could talk to him. So flash forward to today, I get an email from him, and its addressed to everyone in the group. He's basically gone and outlined each and every time that any of us had a drink and drove a car. Then he ends it with "we all make mistakes, why can't you guys forgive me? I made a mistake, i'm sorry, I've paid my price".

I'm so livid right now that my hands are actually shaking. I've typed out a response, but I'm a bit worried that it is too much. So I condensed it down to "Have a good life, I have no interest in being a part of it." I still don't know if I should even respond.

[trailmix 77]

I got an email from an old friend. Long story short, a college friend was killed in an accident when his cousin (who was also a part of our clique) drove a golf cart drunk. It was a freak accident, but ever since then, nobody in our group of friends really could talk to him. So flash forward to today, I get an email from him, and its addressed to everyone in the group. He's basically gone and outlined each and every time that any of us had a drink and drove a car. Then he ends it with "we all make mistakes, why can't you guys forgive me? I made a mistake, i'm sorry, I've paid my price".

I'm so livid right now that my hands are actually shaking. I've typed out a response, but I'm a bit worried that it is too much. So I condensed it down to "Have a good life, I have no interest in being a part of it." I still don't know if I should even respond.

That really is too bad about your friend.

It sounds like the guy is desperate - I also think it's a good thing that you condensed your response. I also just want to suggest that you take a day or so to calm down a bit before replying.

Edited June 11, 2009 by trailmix

[JillA 2]

I got an email from an old friend. Long story short, a college friend was killed in an accident when his cousin (who was also a part of our clique) drove a golf cart drunk. It was a freak accident, but ever since then, nobody in our group of friends really could talk to him. So flash forward to today, I get an email from him, and its addressed to everyone in the group. He's basically gone and outlined each and every time that any of us had a drink and drove a car. Then he ends it with "we all make mistakes, why can't you guys forgive me? I made a mistake, i'm sorry, I've paid my price".

I'm so livid right now that my hands are actually shaking. I've typed out a response, but I'm a bit worried that it is too much. So I condensed it down to "Have a good life, I have no interest in being a part of it." I still don't know if I should even respond.

I would not even reply, it's not worth your time. If you do want to reply, don't do it in a haste of anger, sit on it a day or two then reply.

[Emancipation 2]

I got an email from an old friend. Long story short, a college friend was killed in an accident when his cousin (who was also a part of our clique) drove a golf cart drunk. It was a freak accident, but ever since then, nobody in our group of friends really could talk to him. So flash forward to today, I get an email from him, and its addressed to everyone in the group. He's basically gone and outlined each and every time that any of us had a drink and drove a car. Then he ends it with "we all make mistakes, why can't you guys forgive me? I made a mistake, i'm sorry, I've paid my price".

I'm so livid right now that my hands are actually shaking. I've typed out a response, but I'm a bit worried that it is too much. So I condensed it down to "Have a good life, I have no interest in being a part of it." I still don't know if I should even respond.

Ouch.. hard.. really hard.. It sounds like he's desperate to try to find a way to get forgiveness from everyone.. Unfortunately listing everyone else's moments of weakness probably is not the way to gain favor or forgiveness.. grovelling or listing the ways you have sought out help for your issues, and attempting some form of token restitution would probably be a better way and NEVER using email.. what were you saying again Sprailene about email?? I think you are probably best to just walk away and say nothing.. don't feed it is what I would say.. if forgiveness is not something you can give, let it go at that.. period. Someone else is going to have to step in and give this person what he feels he needs right now.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I really don't hate the guy, but I just can't look him in the eyes. It was just one of those situations that takes so much out of you that you can't bear to even think about the ones that caused the situation. I deleted my response, and I don't think i'm going to respond at all.

I used to be guilty of avoiding phone calls and just emailing, but have lost contact with a lot of friends because of it. I pick up the phone when it rings..... except when its a 603 area code calling. That is where the "This is your last chance to negotiate a lower rate on your credit card" scam calls come from.

[Emancipation 2]

I honestly wish I new a lawyer.. one I didn't have to pay $$ for for each question that I had to ask.

Edited June 11, 2009 by Emancipation

[Sprailenes 47]

I don't even drive after one beer. I was telling Amanda this earlier.

People think I'm the biggest prude and I probably am, but I am so afraid of getting a DUI or even worse killing someone or myself.

I know there's a legal limit and I never feel anything after a beer, I am just nervous about alcohol being in my system and driving at the same time.

[trailmix 77]

I don't even drive after one beer. I was telling Amanda this earlier.

People think I'm the biggest prude and I probably am, but I am so afraid of getting a DUI or even worse killing someone or myself.

I know there's a legal limit and I never feel anything after a beer, I am just nervous about alcohol being in my system and driving at the same time.

I'm the same - one drink - no driving.

You know Rob, i'm sure it's hard for you, but this guy was your friend at one time. It almost sounds to me like you don't actually blame him, but communicating with him upsets you as it reminds you of the situation?

[The_Dude 1,142]

I don't even drive after one beer. I was telling Amanda this earlier.

People think I'm the biggest prude and I probably am, but I am so afraid of getting a DUI or even worse killing someone or myself.

I know there's a legal limit and I never feel anything after a beer, I am just nervous about alcohol being in my system and driving at the same time.

I'm the same - one drink - no driving.

You know Rob, i'm sure it's hard for you, but this guy was your friend at one time. It almost sounds to me like you don't actually blame him, but communicating with him upsets you as it reminds you of the situation?

It is completely his fault, but I know it was a mistake and an accident. The situation kind of angers me because he seemed so contrite after it happened. Now he seems bitter and angry because this ruined his life and he has no friends. We were friends in university, but not nearly as close as I was to his cousin. I guess I just tried to shut it all out of my mind all this time and this reminder is just a bit much at the moment.

[Sprailenes 47]

No one goes out with the intention to kill after they've had a few drinks and I think that's what makes it hard. Yes it's an accident but accidents can always be avoided by making better choices.

I am so sorry you lost your friend.

[Emancipation 2]

*sigh.. can I ask Mum's out there about child support payments? What happens when the non-custodial parent takes custody of the children for a period of time (say 2 month stints).. does the court (as we've read online tonite) typically award the custodial parent full child support payments during that time frame regardless of the fact that the non-custodial parent is occurring expenses of their own? So basically you pay full child support 12 months of the year if you are a non-custodial parent regardless of the time spent with the non-custodial parent.. Is it dumb of me to even ask that question?

PS I think I know the answer to the question based on what we read online tonite and if so I think this is aptly placed in the right thread

Edited June 12, 2009 by Emancipation