The Vent - Part 2

[beans 7]

I would do that but unfortunately I value my job too much.

[trailmix 77]

It just really bothers me that people don't seem to understand how hard this is for us! My friends keep telling me how luck I am to get out of here. I am lucky, but Its also the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. Then when people question how well I know my own fiance? Things like that just really bother me... I know I shouldn't listen to people, they don't know... Its just hard to let things roll off your shoulders sometimes.

It doesn't really surprise me that people in general aren't too worried about how the person leaving is feeling - from what they see you have made a choice to leave (which is true) - doesn't make it any easier on you leaving - but they probably don't even think of that.

[Emancipation 2]

It just really bothers me that people don't seem to understand how hard this is for us! My friends keep telling me how luck I am to get out of here. I am lucky, but Its also the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. Then when people question how well I know my own fiance? Things like that just really bother me... I know I shouldn't listen to people, they don't know... Its just hard to let things roll off your shoulders sometimes.

It doesn't really surprise me that people in general aren't too worried about how the person leaving is feeling - from what they see you have made a choice to leave (which is true) - doesn't make it any easier on you leaving - but they probably don't even think of that.

I think in addition it's part of the grieving process... Kübler-Ross said it best.. each one of our relatives and friends go through this (well so do we I guess as we settle in) when we say we are moving and they realize the relationship is changing (all to varying degrees of course)..

" * Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.

* Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.

*Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.

* Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.

* Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.

* Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.

* Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward."

Edited May 6, 2009 by Emancipation

[Sprailenes 47]

And some people never accept it or they just keep bouncing back between acceptance and bargaining.

My mom keeps offering me jobs to move back to Canada, they are literally trying to create a really good paying job for me. That's great for me but what about my husband he is doing so well here.

Oh this isn't a vent but my husband is about to be promoted to associate partner at his design firm.

So proud of him!

[Jenni and Bo 0]

And some people never accept it or they just keep bouncing back between acceptance and bargaining.

My mom keeps offering me jobs to move back to Canada, they are literally trying to create a really good paying job for me. That's great for me but what about my husband he is doing so well here.

Oh this isn't a vent but my husband is about to be promoted to associate partner at his design firm.

So proud of him!

That's awesome Sprailenes! Good for him

[Krikit 1,164]

Wow. That is awesome, Sprailenes! Congratulations to him!

[DeadPoolX 9]

And some people never accept it or they just keep bouncing back between acceptance and bargaining.

My mom keeps offering me jobs to move back to Canada, they are literally trying to create a really good paying job for me. That's great for me but what about my husband he is doing so well here.

Oh this isn't a vent but my husband is about to be promoted to associate partner at his design firm.

So proud of him!

Here's a question: If you did move back to Canada, what about your husband? Sure, you'd want him to come with you, but he'd have to immigrate to Canada (and even though that can be quicker than the U.S. version, it still takes time) and then find a new job himself.

If you don't mind me saying so, it seems like your mother is acting a little short-sighted.

[Sprailenes 47]

Yea I think I kind of get that part. My husband isn't willing to relocate. The plan was always to be behind him career wise because I can adapt more to new situations including jobs. Not saying he couldn't find a job, when he lived in Canada before he had a few good interviews, just didn't have the visa to legally work.

Now that he has this it means we're in it for the long haul and that's also why we're looking at homes and stuff as well. If I were to go back to Canada it would be without him and I am not even going to think about that for a second because I love him too much.

Not going to pretend I didn't think about it for a bit, because I did. But the thought of leaving everything behind including him didn't sit well with me.

She's not short sighted, she's selfish.

Edited May 6, 2009 by Sprailenes

[trailmix 77]

Are you saying if you decided you really wanted to move back to Canada (say the family found a job for you that you just couldn't refuse, for instance) - that your Husband wouldn't come with you?

[Sprailenes 47]

I don't know, thats a hypothetical question and I can't answer it. Thats not something that has come up so I don't know. I do know that this is not an opportunity for me, and when we talked about it, we didn't see it that way. It's my mom so I began to see it more as a trap.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Are you saying if you decided you really wanted to move back to Canada (say the family found a job for you that you just couldn't refuse, for instance) - that your Husband wouldn't come with you?

I just couldn't imagine going through the immigration process again.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Are you saying if you decided you really wanted to move back to Canada (say the family found a job for you that you just couldn't refuse, for instance) - that your Husband wouldn't come with you?

I just couldn't imagine going through the immigration process again.

LoL, there would have to be some sort of signing bonus, and a promise that I wouldn't have to go back to Montreal again for me

[trailmix 77]

Are you saying if you decided you really wanted to move back to Canada (say the family found a job for you that you just couldn't refuse, for instance) - that your Husband wouldn't come with you?

I just couldn't imagine going through the immigration process again.

I've done 5 immigration processes. It gets easier

[FormelyCA 0]

anyone know how to get a LIVE person on the USCIS number?

[DeadPoolX 9]

Are you saying if you decided you really wanted to move back to Canada (say the family found a job for you that you just couldn't refuse, for instance) - that your Husband wouldn't come with you?

I just couldn't imagine going through the immigration process again.

I've done 5 immigration processes. It gets easier

Five? Where have you gone?

To be honest, my wife and I have considered moving to the U.S. at some point. My wife likes the northwest states the best (Washington, Oregon and to a lesser extent, California), so that's always a possibility. At least we'd be together during the process, so that'd make immigration far more bearable.