LAND DOWNUNDER, Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

[kaffy 2]

oops and the main reason I came into this thread was to let any Aussies living in the Portland area that if you a craving a meat pie, check out Pacific Pie Co. I've known about them for a while and yesterday was finally in the area around lunch time so I popped in and grabbed a quick lunch there.

It's no four'n'twenty mystery meat goodness but it's still very yummy and fairly authentic (I think the woman's husband is Aussie). The meat pie actually tasted a wee bit like one I've made from taste.com.au before but this was a much quicker way to satisfy my craving

[VanessaTony 3,567]

^ Um.. wow. Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time with her. MIL stands for monster-in-law, right? Did you meet before you moved over?

I met her at Thanksgiving 2008. I didn't think she was too bad when I met her (it was for less than 24 hours). Tony warned me all the time but I thought it was typical "males don't get females" stuff, or maybe just family stuff, or he was telling me it was worse than it was so I wouldn't care bout the little things or something.. it's actually MUCH worse than this. Over the years (since i met her) he's started telling me more and more stories about his childhood. Not because he didn't before but because he's reminded of things here and there.

Honestly right now we're at "restricted grandparent access" thoughts. I've told Tony that NO WAY IN HELL is she being permitted to look after our kids (when the time comes). That I do not want her to make them feel like she did Tony his whole life. I want them to know a loving and caring and nurturing home. They can visit sure, but only if myself or Tony is around.

I want SO badly to tell her exactly what I think because it's in my nature to do so.. but I need to wait till at least we move out and no longer need to stay here. I need to talk to Tony about it and see just "how far" I can take it. (he told her to "leave her the F### alone" in relation to me after a truly awful day (she's extremely passive-aggressive) so at least I know he has my back.

We've discussed it (Tony, my sister and I) and have come to the conclusion that she's a narcissist. I wish I was joking. I wish it could be an over-reaction. I wish it could be "wow she's the devil" which is obviously something you "just say" but it's not. I honestly seriously think she has this mental disorder. It all fits COMPLETELY with her behaviour.

Anyway like I've been told (in a really cult-ish way) "that's just how she is. you just have to ignore it".. just I didn't grow up being treated this way so it takes me a little longer to process.

[TerriandEric 4]

I met her at Thanksgiving 2008. I didn't think she was too bad when I met her (it was for less than 24 hours). Tony warned me all the time but I thought it was typical "males don't get females" stuff, or maybe just family stuff, or he was telling me it was worse than it was so I wouldn't care bout the little things or something.. it's actually MUCH worse than this. Over the years (since i met her) he's started telling me more and more stories about his childhood. Not because he didn't before but because he's reminded of things here and there.

Honestly right now we're at "restricted grandparent access" thoughts. I've told Tony that NO WAY IN HELL is she being permitted to look after our kids (when the time comes). That I do not want her to make them feel like she did Tony his whole life. I want them to know a loving and caring and nurturing home. They can visit sure, but only if myself or Tony is around.

I want SO badly to tell her exactly what I think because it's in my nature to do so.. but I need to wait till at least we move out and no longer need to stay here. I need to talk to Tony about it and see just "how far" I can take it. (he told her to "leave her the F### alone" in relation to me after a truly awful day (she's extremely passive-aggressive) so at least I know he has my back.

We've discussed it (Tony, my sister and I) and have come to the conclusion that she's a narcissist. I wish I was joking. I wish it could be an over-reaction. I wish it could be "wow she's the devil" which is obviously something you "just say" but it's not. I honestly seriously think she has this mental disorder. It all fits COMPLETELY with her behaviour.

Anyway like I've been told (in a really cult-ish way) "that's just how she is. you just have to ignore it".. just I didn't grow up being treated this way so it takes me a little longer to process.

Vanessa my heart truly goes out to you ...I can totally understand & empathize with you as your MIL is my actual mother to the ground! She drives me totally nuts & the little things you have posted here about what she does/says/behavior -- is so totally my mother all over. I know it sucks to hide away because that is how I survived living at my parents for those last few months before leaving for the USA. It is not even being treated with common decency it is being treated as sub human life form that is the worst. The total lack of respect, the bitching behind your back etc...totally uncalled for & unwarranted but these women seem to think it is just OK to live that way.

I am so glad Tony has your back and is a wonderful support for you...know that you can vent anytime here and we all will listen...I am thinking of you hun -- and hope there is light at the end of the tunnel soon?? How much longer do you need to stay there?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Vanessa my heart truly goes out to you ...I can totally understand & empathize with you as your MIL is my actual mother to the ground! She drives me totally nuts & the little things you have posted here about what she does/says/behavior -- is so totally my mother all over. I know it sucks to hide away because that is how I survived living at my parents for those last few months before leaving for the USA. It is not even being treated with common decency it is being treated as sub human life form that is the worst. The total lack of respect, the bitching behind your back etc...totally uncalled for & unwarranted but these women seem to think it is just OK to live that way.

I am so glad Tony has your back and is a wonderful support for you...know that you can vent anytime here and we all will listen...I am thinking of you hun -- and hope there is light at the end of the tunnel soon?? How much longer do you need to stay there?

We're trying SO hard to save. There's this house for sale that we would like (its a starter home, not a "forever home") because buying is cheaper than renting and I personally think a much better situation. The house just went on the market on Friday. I am hoping to talk to Tony a bit more about it today because I had some more ideas but he hasn't got home from work yet... **fingers crossed**.

Mum's offered us financial help if we need it to get out (I wanted to so badly the day the ###### hit the fan but tony wants to try and stick it out ourselves) so it's good to know there's hope... for some reason I don't think he really "gets" how hard it is for me. I think he tries but he's used to it. I'm not. Its like living with the bitchy girl at school who's nice to your face (sometimes) and then ALWAYS bitches behind your back. It's very stressful :S

Thanks for your understanding though It always helps to tell people... not because I want other people to be against her but sometimes it's nice to know someone other than your family/husband understands and is "with you" too.

Edited May 17, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[alex and astrid 38]

I met her at Thanksgiving 2008. I didn't think she was too bad when I met her (it was for less than 24 hours). Tony warned me all the time but I thought it was typical "males don't get females" stuff, or maybe just family stuff, or he was telling me it was worse than it was so I wouldn't care bout the little things or something.. it's actually MUCH worse than this. Over the years (since i met her) he's started telling me more and more stories about his childhood. Not because he didn't before but because he's reminded of things here and there.

Honestly right now we're at "restricted grandparent access" thoughts. I've told Tony that NO WAY IN HELL is she being permitted to look after our kids (when the time comes). That I do not want her to make them feel like she did Tony his whole life. I want them to know a loving and caring and nurturing home. They can visit sure, but only if myself or Tony is around.

I want SO badly to tell her exactly what I think because it's in my nature to do so.. but I need to wait till at least we move out and no longer need to stay here. I need to talk to Tony about it and see just "how far" I can take it. (he told her to "leave her the F### alone" in relation to me after a truly awful day (she's extremely passive-aggressive) so at least I know he has my back.

We've discussed it (Tony, my sister and I) and have come to the conclusion that she's a narcissist. I wish I was joking. I wish it could be an over-reaction. I wish it could be "wow she's the devil" which is obviously something you "just say" but it's not. I honestly seriously think she has this mental disorder. It all fits COMPLETELY with her behaviour.

Anyway like I've been told (in a really cult-ish way) "that's just how she is. you just have to ignore it".. just I didn't grow up being treated this way so it takes me a little longer to process.

Like I said to you earlier - Your MIL sounds the SAME as my Nanna (Dad's Mum) who was horrible to my mother until the day she died. Being excluding, lying, spreading rumours and just being nasty. It almost drove my parents to divorce, and it ended up being that her and Grandpa were not allowed to see myself and my brother for a number of years. It sounds terrible to say, but when Nanna passed away last year, Mum felt a weight come off her shoulders, because she didn't have to deal with her anymore. And my mum felt the same about us kids being around Nanna without her around - especially since we stayed with Nanna for two weeks as young kids and came back as terrors

Anways Vanessa - we're on your side!! Vent away as much as you need, because we all get where you are coming from!

[Breezie54 2]

Vanessa not much i can say but hang in there, hopefully you will be able to have your own place soon, as for my future Mother In Law.. well we are so much alike, i call her the Mother In Law From Heaven as she is a doll, we both love a lot of the same things and she knows we both have her Son's best interest at heart and she tells him he better treat me right or he will answer to her.. so i am very fortunate, i once asked Leonard.. Had i not gotten on with his Momma, what wouldve happened, and his reply.. well i guess i wouldnt have asked you to marry me.. hahaha.

But now his Momma often sides with me when he is not taking care of himself right so he knows we can "Gang Up" on him if he misbehaves lol.. shes a treat and cant wait for me to arrive, we will have our own home which Leonard has had totally repainted inside while hes been down here and his Momma hired a couple to give it a complete spring clean before we arrive.. which is awesome, after having to totally go through and clear out my own house here, sell off stuff i wont be shipping over, clean the house and get it ready for sale im totally exhausted, thankfully we just have a couple of rooms to finish, my house is under contract and the removalist are coming in June 4th to pack us up.. so i have to have everything im not taking out of the house by then, i finish work this Friday so will then have all day and night to get it fully sorted in time.. our flights to the states are booked for June 9th and have things in hand with my lawyers should the house settlement not be ready by june 8th so we are on course so far..

Just wish i could win lotto as we paying out money faster than its coming in lol.. wish everyone well.

Kaye

[bextavaz 4]

so this is a really retarded question...

when sending my ds-230, do I only need to send 1x DS-230 filled out? or do I need to send a copy of it at the same time? lol

also - I'm guessing it's safer to write the case number at the top of every single sheet?

will send off tomorrow

[bextavaz 4]

so this is a really retarded question...

when sending my ds-230, do I only need to send 1x DS-230 filled out? or do I need to send a copy of it at the same time? lol

also - I'm guessing it's safer to write the case number at the top of every single sheet?

will send off tomorrow

All good - I just realised the RFE checklist actually said to write it in the top corner of each sheet of paper...

Today my DS230 is Sent... Now to kick back and wait for more RFE's, an SIF and a CC :fingerscrossed:

[alex and astrid 38]

Hey everyone -

I found out last night that my Mum had to be rushed to hospital and is undergoing all sorts of testing right now. At the moment we're not sure what went wrong, only that she presented with symptoms similar to a stroke, and it may be a big relapse of her multiple sclerosis. So my brother and dad are keeping me in the loop as much as they can, but it's a waiting game as we see what the tests show up. And positive thoughts would be amazing right now..I have never been so anxious and scared in my life.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hey everyone -

I found out last night that my Mum had to be rushed to hospital and is undergoing all sorts of testing right now. At the moment we're not sure what went wrong, only that she presented with symptoms similar to a stroke, and it may be a big relapse of her multiple sclerosis. So my brother and dad are keeping me in the loop as much as they can, but it's a waiting game as we see what the tests show up. And positive thoughts would be amazing right now..I have never been so anxious and scared in my life.

I'm sorry Astrid Thinking positive thoughts for you and your family. Its hard being so far from home let alone when stuff like this happens. It will be okay I'm sure of it. **virtual hug**

[alex and astrid 38]

I'm sorry Astrid Thinking positive thoughts for you and your family. Its hard being so far from home let alone when stuff like this happens. It will be okay I'm sure of it. **virtual hug**

Thanks Vanessa

I have more fabulous news...I have to have oral surgery My problem with my mouth, it was caused by an impacted wisdom tooth which has become inflamed. But the tooth is still within my gums. So, they need to cut right in and get it out. Plus, I need a ton of fillings I am really hoping the insurance alex got for me gets approved soon, as this is going to be one expensive exercise

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thanks Vanessa

I have more fabulous news...I have to have oral surgery My problem with my mouth, it was caused by an impacted wisdom tooth which has become inflamed. But the tooth is still within my gums. So, they need to cut right in and get it out. Plus, I need a ton of fillings I am really hoping the insurance alex got for me gets approved soon, as this is going to be one expensive exercise

Oh dear! Poor thing! I hope the insurance comes through in time too! i need a dentist as well and I can't help but think it might be a root canal thanks to a dodgy filling by a previous dentist... I just want laughing gas or something... do you need to go into the hospital or is it chair surgery? I feel bad for you, it can't be pleasant BUT at least it will be fixed, just think of the pain relief!

[alex and astrid 38]

Oh dear! Poor thing! I hope the insurance comes through in time too! i need a dentist as well and I can't help but think it might be a root canal thanks to a dodgy filling by a previous dentist... I just want laughing gas or something... do you need to go into the hospital or is it chair surgery? I feel bad for you, it can't be pleasant BUT at least it will be fixed, just think of the pain relief!

It will be in the chair...it's not too far into my gum that I need to knocked out. I'm terrified though. The last night I had to have a needle in my mouth I was in tears because I was so scared...I was 19 too!

[Jaime and Melvin 0]

Astrid I am so sorry to hear about your Mum ... sending positive thoughts and vibes to you both <3

You tooth is turning into a nightmare you really don't need right now. I guess in a way, you're lucky that you can get it out in the chair. My top 2 are removed, but my bottom 2 are still in the gum, impacted and the surgeon wont take them out because it may cause nerve damage in my lip and chin.

I hope your insurance comes through soon

[TerriandEric 4]

OH Astrid I am so sorry to hear about your Mum -- I hope she comes through ok and with minimum fuss..sending huge warm virtual hugs.

OUCH for the tooth! I can relate as just before I left AUS I broke on of mine and had to have it removed..hurt like hell but while I was there I asked the dentist to check my teeth for any other issues so they could be fixed there as opposed to waiting here...luckily no other problems were found..though after the weekend I am thinking I need to see a Dr for my hip as it still isn't right after hiking.

Keep us posted on your Mum....

How is the new job???