HUGE age differences!!!

[Peikko 1,575]

Is this wife a fish? I have only ever heard of fish being landed, not wives.

Regardless, there are many types of man, and if you don't know that Danno, that's fine by me.

[Danno 1,228]

As we have seen, "they don't always leave", in fact it's very possible to import a nicely aged model and have her leave you as well.

With these realities why not "shop young" but use caution in your selection?

I mean lets be honest, any guy who claims he would not prefer his wife to be younger (unless she already is) is flat out lying or they took that "womans study" course... waaaay to serious.

S'okay because those younger women tend to leave their older men eventually. For younger men, who are probably richer to boot.

When we terms like "younger and older" it might be helpful to be aware pf what that means before we agree or disagree.

As this threads title used the term "Huge age difference" I would speculate that means 25 perhaps 30 years or more. In these cases I would agree, the probability of long term.... is doubtful.

But if you mean 15 -20 years, I would say this is still within the area of "normal relationships"

and while the odds do increase, not unreasonably so.

[HannahP 119]

Twenty years? Maybe if you're older to begin with. A twenty year-old marrying a forty year-old, really?

What do you want to do when you're twenty? When you're forty? No one thought that my relationship with my husband would last because I was fourteen and he was sixteen. At least our partying, marrying, and family-ing stages merged nicely together.

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

Is this wife a fish? I have only ever heard of fish being landed, not wives.

Regardless, there are many types of man, and if you don't know that Danno, that's fine by me.

maybe a good analogy: ask what is used for bait

[almaty 19]

Is this wife a fish? I have only ever heard of fish being landed, not wives.

Regardless, there are many types of man, and if you don't know that Danno, that's fine by me.

maybe a good analogy: ask what is used for bait

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[justashooter 430]

Is there a Chinese symbol for the love a Chinese man has for his wife?

Traditionally, Chinese men did not take wives for love. (Which is a horribly modern, Western notion in itself.) For "love" they would take a mistress. Historically, this is pretty much how it's always been - especially among the landed/wealthier classes. The Chinese just tend to be a bit more nuanced about it.

thanks for sharing your understanding of the east with these heathens.

Not that there was any point to it. No shortage of folks on VJ eager to cull out part of the world population by race, age, or especially gender and be officially offended on their behalf. In this thread for example. Obviously, young Chinese women are entirely unable to answer you or speak for themselves. It is an obligation, therefore, for the VJ members with absolutely no knowledge, experience, or understanding of that clture to leap to the aid of these hapless women and condemn you, evil justashooter. And what were you thinking, sharing your personal experience (not opinion) with us any way? You should be ashamed of yourself, ASHAMED I SAY.

Bleh. I don't get it. I think both of you are taking shots at my expense but I was merely repeating my understanding of Chinese /history/, not to be confused with modern day China which I obviously know very little about.

Hannah, in regard to the nature of your comment, nothing has changed in China. Men there still take wives for gain in social and economic position, and the purpose of creating an heir. They still have as many mistresses as they can afford.

Twenty years? Maybe if you're older to begin with. A twenty year-old marrying a forty year-old, really?

What do you want to do when you're twenty? When you're forty? No one thought that my relationship with my husband would last because I was fourteen and he was sixteen. At least our partying, marrying, and family-ing stages merged nicely together.

My wife was 23 when we met, and I was 41. We married 2 years later. She says I party too much, and is quite content.

[justashooter 430]

Presumably that makes you Batman... I guess its in keeping with the superhero rhetoric about "fighting evil"

Personal experience is perfectly respectable - but your "when in Rome" towards these things is positively bizarre. On the one hand you refuse to make any moral judgement about a 2-year old being allowed to get wasted on alcohol (something that's clearly reprehensible and hardly "cultural")- finding the spectacle somehow "hilarious", then later you seem to suggest here that men like you are performing some sort of public service for the Far-East women you marry - in the same character of language that someone might use towards domesticating wild animals or describing property.

Surely if we follow your adherence to Chinese culture to a tee - we might be forgiven for thinking that your marriage is of the business arrangement variety and that you have a mistress or two kicking around somewhere. I'm sure that's not the case - but that's how it comes across.

I mean - I'm sure you *love* your wife, in the "western-way" the same way that many others here do, yet you never talk about your personal situation other than vague 3rd person generalities about how "men like you" and women "like that" interact in a cross-cultural relationship.

Paul,

your refusal to accept any socio-reality other than your own is surprising. I imagined you much more educated, thereby much more accepting. Perhaps it is the brevity of your wit that leads to an overestimation of your education/experience. Then again, perhaps you are more than you seem. I hunt from a machan, near the water...

Cultural differences aside, if a man does not empower his wife, he is bound to fail, in measure by degree. In the worst case, the woman will feel completely disempowered and leave to establish her own hegemony. In a lesser case, she will stay, and engage in negative behaviours such as adultery, excessive spending, bickering, and other such sabotage of the man's life. The empowerment is not a public service (except incidentally), rather a private service. It is the washing of another's feet that earns the status of a king. You should try it sometime.

My marriage is a relationship in many levels. It has a business component, a social component, a sexual component, an emotional component, a practical component etc. All good marriages should have these, at a minimum. If i choose to add a mistress, that is an entirely seperate relationship. Perhaps someday you will tell us a little about your marriage, but I doubt you will. You would have to be comfortable with the reality of it, first.

Of course I love my wife in a western sense. We have a deep and involving emotional relationship, spending hours talking and laughing and screwing every day. I wish the same for you, but am rather worried from time to time that such is not the case.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Presumably that makes you Batman... I guess its in keeping with the superhero rhetoric about "fighting evil"

Personal experience is perfectly respectable - but your "when in Rome" towards these things is positively bizarre. On the one hand you refuse to make any moral judgement about a 2-year old being allowed to get wasted on alcohol (something that's clearly reprehensible and hardly "cultural")- finding the spectacle somehow "hilarious", then later you seem to suggest here that men like you are performing some sort of public service for the Far-East women you marry - in the same character of language that someone might use towards domesticating wild animals or describing property.

Surely if we follow your adherence to Chinese culture to a tee - we might be forgiven for thinking that your marriage is of the business arrangement variety and that you have a mistress or two kicking around somewhere. I'm sure that's not the case - but that's how it comes across.

I mean - I'm sure you *love* your wife, in the "western-way" the same way that many others here do, yet you never talk about your personal situation other than vague 3rd person generalities about how "men like you" and women "like that" interact in a cross-cultural relationship.

Paul,

your refusal to accept any socio-reality other than your own is surprising. I imagined you much more educated, thereby much more accepting. Perhaps it is the brevity of your wit that leads to an overestimation of your education/experience. Then again, perhaps you are more than you seem. I hunt from a machan, near the water...

Cultural differences aside, if a man does not empower his wife, he is bound to fail, in measure by degree. In the worst case, the woman will feel completely disempowered and leave to establish her own hegemony. In a lesser case, she will stay, and engage in negative behaviours such as adultery, excessive spending, bickering, and other such sabotage of the man's life. The empowerment is not a public service (except incidentally), rather a private service. It is the washing of another's feet that earns the status of a king. You should try it sometime.

My marriage is a relationship in many levels. It has a business component, a social component, a sexual component, an emotional component, a practical component etc. All good marriages should have these, at a minimum. If i choose to add a mistress, that is an entirely seperate relationship. Perhaps someday you will tell us a little about your marriage, but I doubt you will. You would have to be comfortable with the reality of it, first.

Of course I love my wife in a western sense. We have a deep and involving emotional relationship, spending hours talking and laughing and screwing every day. I wish the same for you, but am rather worried from time to time that such is not the case.

I don't understand why you'd think I'm somehow not accepting of other "socio-realities" (what is a socio-reality anyway - it just a pompous synonym phrase for "culture"?),

I was just wondering why in a thread about age differences in Wester/Easter marriages the personal experience you offered wasn't from your own life (in the sense of "this is what my SO and my marriage means to me, this is how we interrelate etc") - without trying to paint a picture of some abstract esoteric mystery.

[justashooter 430]

Of course I love my wife in a western sense. We have a deep and involving emotional relationship, spending hours talking and laughing and screwing every day. I wish the same for you, but am rather worried from time to time that such is not the case.

I don't understand why you'd think I'm somehow not accepting of other "socio-realities" (what is a socio-reality anyway - it just a pompous synonym phrase for "culture"?),

I was just wondering why in a thread about age differences in Wester/Easter marriages the personal experience you offered wasn't from your own life (in the sense of "this is what my SO and my marriage means to me, this is how we interrelate etc") - without trying to paint a picture of some abstract esoteric mystery.

I answered your question. The answer is only a mystery to those who have not lived it.

Will you answer mine?

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Sure you answered it after the rather bizarre (read: pretentious) statements on the other page.

What was your question?

Edited March 13, 2009 by Paul Daniels

[Peikko 1,575]

What I want to know is why there are two 'justashooters'. One who can use capitals and paragraphs (which sound like they are pieced together from bits and pieces of other work) and one who doesn't even know that i am should be I am. Most odd.

[justashooter 430]

Sure you answered it after the rather bizarre (read: pretentious) statements on the other page.

What was your question?

What is the nature of your marriage?

[justashooter 430]

What I want to know is why there are two 'justashooters'. One who can use capitals and paragraphs (which sound like they are pieced together from bits and pieces of other work) and one who doesn't even know that i am should be I am. Most odd.

Sometimes I capitalise. Often I do not. It depends on my mood. People writing on the net often use an absence of capitalisation to imply soft speaking (the opposite of CAPS LOCK, if you will). i would have expected you to know that.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Sure you answered it after the rather bizarre (read: pretentious) statements on the other page.

What was your question?

What is the nature of your marriage?

Is that a trick question?

My marriage is a relationship in many levels. It has a business component, a social component, a sexual component, an emotional component, a practical component etc.

Snap.

What I want to know is why there are two 'justashooters'. One who can use capitals and paragraphs (which sound like they are pieced together from bits and pieces of other work) and one who doesn't even know that i am should be I am. Most odd.

Sometimes I capitalise. Often I do not. It depends on my mood. People writing on the net often use an absence of capitalisation to imply soft speaking (the opposite of CAPS LOCK, if you will). i would have expected you to know that.

Which translates to: "it depends on whether I can be bothered to adjust the spelling and grammar of people I cut and paste the words from"

[tmma 467]

Is it c/p?