I'm ready to get out of this marriage -- separated

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Marriage itself is a very sacred institution and also very complicated. It is never easy to pick out a perfect stranger and try to make that person see to your own established views, ideas, opinions and way of life. That is why in Christainity, we also look up to the Holy Spirit to guide the paths of marriage, because having a fulfilled and happy life with another human being is always a journey of faith, perseverance, longsuffering, hope and determination.

I really very sorry for the way you are feeling now. From my own point of view, I think you still love your wife with all your heart. The problem is that anytime you close your eyes and remember that she walked out on you, the anger and hurt in you grows a little larger. The voice of destruction keeps reminding you of all you went through to bring her to this country and as a result, she MUST come back and "bow" before you. Instead of you thinking about what you felt the first time you met her and try to build on that. You will never get anybody who is perfect. And I believe that once you start divorcing, it never ends. What am trying to say here is that you try to see if you could work out your differences. Stop thinking about who's on top of her right now, and starting picturing the good old days, when you said some beautiful things to her. Bring out pictures and see that beautiful smiles on your faces, and go and get your wife.

Finally, don't let anything stop your from helping her through immigration journey. You owe that to her.

"I wish my wife all the best. I want her to be able to stay in this country and be happy. " I honestly commend this guy for saying this! I hope he also feels that way. If it indeed was a genuine marriage, and it sounds as though it was, at least he is not being selfish. He did say neither of them want to continue at this point, so it doesn't sound like she committed fraud (but who really knows). At least he isn't so despiteful that he makes this a soap opera like another posting here on the site. Some guys actually want revenge. Some guys I believe actually like the rush of dealing with lawyers, watching their spouses or fiance's emotions after presenting evidence, etc. It almost seems like a game of "I'll show you!" I give him credit for not being like that. I seems from what he wrote anyway, that things just didn't work out. I wish them both the best.

I think differently. I think sometimes the immigrants may be in an iffy situation and they get coached to leave by well meaning friends and family after hearing the immigrant complain about this and that. I think some of them actually turn once they get here and start seeing that life without the burden of a spouse is alot easier than working on a relationship. Constant meddling by family members back home coupled with befriending people who have "gotten over on an american" doesnt help. Its heartbreaking having invested so much in the marriage, lawyers, fees, money, careers on hold to have someone get here and just decide not to try or invest energy in a marriage everyone is telling them to leave and go find their life in America. I understand what the petitioner is talking about having spent thousands myself and suffering on levels I cannot explain... begging my husband to constantly stop calling his mom like an 8 year old about every single thing. Even my 13 year old doesnt complain as much as he does.. Its awful... I wish I never met him...immigration does NOT always work out in the best interest of the petitioner and we get holding some really awfully heavy financial bags when things go south and the immigrants do not seem to give a ####### about what we have been through...There is a flip side to all of this. Knowing what I know now, being a single mom with small kids and this god awful economy , I would have never sponsored my husband here. Hes worked a total of 4 weeks in the last year, whined complained and used his mother in europe to bully and torment me. Its horrible.

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

Quote

Being separated has complicated my life immensely, especially my finances and my education. There are tax credits and exemptions I can't claim unless we file jointly. I haven't been able to get my student financial aid because of our marriage, and as a result I've had to drop out of college. I don't know when I'll be able to go back, if ever. I can't have a relationship with anyone else because I'm still married. My life has been completely, utterly derailed for this girl, and that, combined with the stress of not knowing how to deal with USCIS is destroying me. I was the one who enabled her to stay in this country. I was the one who went through all the paperwork. I got all the photographs, and documentation, and copies. I was the one who handled everything for removing her conditional status. When she has a problem, I figure everything out for her. I traded my freedom for hers. I just can't be the one to do everything for her anymore.End Quote

Here is some tough talk

You are in this position because YOU got yourself in this position. I am afraid you have (hopefully) learnt a lesson in LIFE. You seem to want pity regarding your situation as if you have all the worries in the world and have lost so much. Personally I feel you should grow up and face up to where you are and get a grip on where you are going. It's as if you are seeking comfort for what has I can imagine been a low point in your life. Well as much as you think you are bad off take a good look around and open your eyes to those who are so much less fortunate than yourself.

I am sure this is a lesson that you should take on the chin as most men do and not go looking for sympathy when you and only you have been responsible for where you are now. Time to wake up and smell the roses !

Arthur

I am sure he is not looking for pity but venting out some frustration....

I will do the same in his shoes,

not ALL the stories have a happy ending....

not all the stories SAIL tough the immigration process....without a hitch

The all point of having a FORUM is to exchange GOOD and BAD experiences....not just the wonderful ones.

But here is a link to give an idea.....to all the newcomers...what there in for....

Enjoy it or cry depending on the your prospective...

[bhajishah 4]

Wow heavy you gave up your freedom, so she can have hers.?? Are you married to a MENA man??

[Ladylethal 12]

Depending upon what state you reside in (and how separation is viewed by your courts) there may be no reason to withdraw the currently filed joint I-751. As long as the marriage is not legally terminated prior to adjudication of the application. If you live in one of the few states that regard separation as on an automatic "path" to divorce (New York state comes to mind) then she might want to confer with an immigration attorney.

Either way your affidavit of support remains valid even after divorce, until she applies for citizenship or when she fulfills the SS requirements (40 annual quarters paid) or if she dies or abandons the US permanently.

It seems at this point she can probably be approved before the divorce completes and can then on remain legally in the US without your assistance.