need some thoughts-- husband cheating

[almaty 19]

wow, some of the posts here.....just wrong..vj sheesh

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

wow, some of the posts here.....just wrong..vj sheesh

agreed

[Marc & Solika 1]

Sorry to hear about your situation. He is abusive. You dont need a man like that an #########. Wait until your approved in your petition. Where are you in US?

Hey, I don't mean bad when I say this, so please don't kick me too hard , but although I am agreeing with everyone here: this guy is bad news and playing the typical "player" role very well and the OP should not be just weak and put up with it. Get strong and tell him whats what!!! Then when he's sees what he's losing, maybe he will shape up. My point is though, why do SO many filipina girls always say........"just wait until your petition (free ride) is approved, then leave him" ?? Why not cut your losses now and move on! It's not about immigration, its about saving a life. She did not say, but maybe she does not have family here, but I am sure she does in her home country. If she leaves him, she needs support. Lots of it! Stop making it about "trying to stay in the US" and make it more about what is best for her. I don't mean to sterotype or generalize.......but just my observations.

[justashooter 430]

Wow! Your statements has proven that you are very ignorant. I will do the best that i can to educate you, here we go,

1.) Africans was taken from their country and brought to the Americas. In US like many other places they become slaves. Many mixed with the Native American. In fact 40% of Black American's have Native American blood. Some was rape by their slave owners and started producing mixed race. in other countries we know these mixes as latinos and hispanic.

2.) In USA the slave owners made lots of money.

3.) They where told they would received money and land. Yet got nothing.

4.) Organization like the NAACP was created to help blacks who was discriminated against. KKK was created after slavery was abolish to keep blacks down and to put fear in them. KKK would burn black churches and hang (Kill) black people for no reason. Naacp goes to court to ask for fairness.

5.) Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson tries to make sure that a black man who is holding a wallet in his hands don't get shot 41 times (Amadou Diallo) by the the police for no reason and get away with it. I can't see how that is equal. If you do then maybe you are part of the KKK or share their views.

6.) For years blacks have been accused of crimes they did not commit. This brought more hardship to the community.

7.) Then came drugs. Drugs mysteriously slipped into the black communities. Where did all the drugs came from. Not too many drug cartel's are black. In fact I can bet none of them are.

8.) Most black that are in prison is due to drugs. When a cop stop a group of white kids who have marijuana they get a warning. A group of black kids get arrested.

9.) Now keep in mind those descendent of the slave owners has spread a lot today they are judges, lawyers, presidents, doctors and many more. They don't see themselves to blame for what happen to the blacks (slavery) and feel they should not pay for it. Yet they enjoy the wealth that was gained from slavery and years of discrimination. It trickled down to them.

10.) Regards to Obama, he just got in office every day we here about him making tough decision. If you remember when bush came to office he spent most of his time on vacation. So all you closet racists out there, leave Obama alone, let him try to do what he can to fix the problems of the country. Even before he he was in office he has been working on trying to fix the problem. He is working very hard under the hardest conditions so let him work.

this is what happens when an immigrant tries to write american history. i suppose i do as well when writing about china. so, for the record, in case some aliens are reading this off a satelite transmission 3 million light years away on the 3rd planet of a blue star, and wondering what america is really like:

1.) Africans were captured by warring tribes and carried to the coast for sale to slavery by other africans. Very few of them are mixed with native americans. African/Indian mix is relatively rare. Africam/White mix is not rare, and it is called mulatto. Hispanic and Latino sometimes contain black, but are mostly Indian, with some Spanish mixed in.

2.) in 1865, most slave owners were broke.

3.) 40 acres and a mule did happen. many who received this squandered it, or failed to manage it well enough to succeed. tough #######, that's business, baby.

4.) NAACP was created to increase education of blacks, and make them more functional in society. this was perverted in the 70's into demands that blacks receive preferential treatment, so that they wouldn't have to be as functional as other ethnicities to get the same rewards. KKK was created to resist federal occupation of the southern states that continued after the civil war. KKK later terrorised all kinds of immigrants, including whites of different nations.

5.) Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson try to keep their names in the headlines, and their pockets full.

6.) for years, blacks have been convicted of crimes they did commit. this has caused hardship for whites, who are disproportinately victim of blacks, and who pay disproportionately for their incarceration.

7.) drugs mysteriously slipped in from vietnam, to supply all of the blacks who had become user during their combat tours, and the whites who had become users, as well. both are human, but the difference in addiction rates is notable. didn't you see that denzel washington movie about a black drug family in new york during the height of it all. based on a true story, buddy.

8.) check your FBI uniform crime statistics reports. a higher percentage of blacks in jail are there for violent crimes than whites by percentage. period. the end.

9.) most white people in the US today are descended from the waves of immigrants that came after 1865 or from the more populus northeastern colonies where slavery was never practiced. most whites in US today have no ancestors who owned slaves. we don't owe a cent to any black for slavery.

10.) regarding obama, he isn't working to save america. he is working to make himself and the people who supported him rich, and i'm not talking about the people who voted for him, so forget that, friend. how can i say this? all i have to do is look at his past, and i can see his present, and his future. he will rob us both, but at least i'm a resisting victim. you're a compliant fool.

[almaty 19]

wow, you seem to have majored in black american studies at Bob Jones U. or was that, Lester Maddox U.

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

Wow! Your statements has proven that you are very ignorant. I will do the best that i can to educate you, here we go, Africans was taken from their country and brought to the Americas. In US like many other places they become slaves. Many mixed with the Native American. In fact 40% of Black American's have Native American blood. Some was rape by their slave owners and started producing mixed race. in other countries we know these mixes as latinos and hispanic. In USA the slave owners made lots of money. Many things was built by the slave including the White House. Many whites become more wealthier then there wildest dreams. When slavery was abolish the rich stayed rich and the blacks was dirt poor having nothing. They where told they would received money and land. Yet got nothing. The White people who still needed to profit from cheap labor came up with ways to have blacks to stay for ever in debt to them. As time went on the descendent of rich spread and continued to enjoy their families wealth. The blacks who manage to own there land was terrorized by the KKK. Many laws was passed discriminating against black from certain jobs, less paying jobs. So the white "side" were able to work, make a good living and support a loving family. They taught there children how to live and the standard of life to expect. On the "black side" with low paying jobs or no jobs at all, frustration, malnutrition, and poverty expectation of a good life was low.

I didn't want to reply to this nonsense, but your personal attacks (as in calling me ignorant) and typical liberal "i-know-better-than-everyone-and-will-preach" attitude forced me to. I know how blacks were brought here too. But what you probably don't know is how slave trade started. Africa back in these days was one scary place (well, it still is but not as much) and most of whites were too scared to go into the continent to search for slaves or anything else for that matter. But it wasn't necessary. Local tribes came along to the seashore where white settlements were and brought over a bunch of goods for sale, including...huh...slaves. Yep, local tribes were SELLING their own people - either prisoners from their own tribes or captured prisoners from other tribes. So, blacks were also guilty in organizing slave trade, not only whites.

Obviously, slavery was a terrible thing, but it's been over for over 150 years! Modern day black people didn't suffer from slavery and have no business using it as an excuse. Actually, every time i see reports or read articles about problems in Africa, it seems to me that they are a lot better in the US and even though their ancestors suffered through slavery and abuse and discrimination, young black people are pretty much luck they were born here, to all opportunities US has to offer. That brings me to another point. I refuse to buy this "white man keeps me down" argument. If you look at any predominantly black country with black government (whether in Africa or in Americas), you don't need to have a PhD to understand that blacks in these countries, where "white man doesn't keep anyone down" are significantly worse off than in US. Case closed.

Organization like the NAACP was created to help blacks who was discriminated against. KKK was created after slavery was abolish to keep blacks down and to put fear in them. KKK would burn black churches and hang (Kill) black people for no reason. Naacp goes to court to ask for fairness. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson tries to make sure that a black man who is holding a wallet in his hands don't get shot 41 times (Amadou Diallo) by the the police for no reason and get away with it. I can't see how that is equal. If you do then maybe you are part of the KKK or share their views.

You are right, NAACP was created to help blacks who were discriminated against. But here is the problem. Civil rights battle is won. Discrimination is over. There are blacks in all branches of business, science and government. The first family is black for crying out loud! Discrimination is over!!! By all logical means NAACP, Sharpton and Jackson should have retired by now. Their job is done, and if anyone had any doubts, Obamas victory was the last proof. But the problem is that NAACP is a BUSINESS. And to stay in business and keep making money, they look for any incident involving black people and start bitching and whining and complaining and screaming racism every minute even if the particular black person in question is convicted violent criminal. Same goes for Sharpton and Jackson. They are nobody, and they realize that and they will keep clinging to their racism claims just so stay in public eye. What they are complaining about was valid 50 years ago, but not now. They cannot outgrow it though, so they keep making clowns out of themselves.

That is how MODERN DAY NAACP is no better than MODERN DAY KKK (MODERN is the key word here - 50 years ago KKK was nothing but a violent terrorist group). They go to courts and media and protect a lot of violent criminals just because they are black. Actually, even KKK doesn't do that anymore. Whatever their whacky ideas are, they now condemn violence in all forms.

For years blacks have been accused of crimes they did not commit. This brought more hardship to the community. Then there was a brain wash that went on a propaganda by the media, every night they would show black men being arrested for all sorts of crimes. This did two thing put fear of blacks in peoples heads (even blacks started to fear blacks), and 2nd this made blacks feel that they were bad. Many of them accepted it and started to live up to this expectation. This is what is called brain washed.

Then came drugs. Drugs mysteriously slipped into the black communities. Where did all the drugs came from. Not too many drug cartel's are black. In fact I can bet none of them are. Sad to say some blacks do see drug dealing as way out of poverty. Not realizing they are going back to another form of slavery. They work hard, die, lose themselves, and there family for it while the rich gets richer. Most black that are in prison is due to drugs. When a cop stop a group of white kids who have marijuana they get a warning. A group of black kids get arrested. This is what is called police profiling. We all here about cops stopping blacks with nice cars. So it is easy to see why the jails are filled with blacks.

If you seriously believe that jails are filled with blacks because of crimes they didn't commit, you need some serios medical attention. The only reason why there are so many blacks in jails, is because they commit so many crimes. Period. YOU are the one who is brainwashed! "Drugs mysteriously slipped into the black communities". Ok, now that's just funny. If thats the case, then groceries "mysteriously slip" into my fridge every week. Yes, most of drug cartels are not black - they are latino, because they are based in or import from Latin America. But sure as hell lots of dealers are black. And they are the ones who distribute them along too.

Again, it used to be different in the past, but it's no longer true. There are plenty of black judges and black cops now so you cant blame amount of blacks in jail on the "evil and racist" white police force.

Now keep in mind those descendent of the slave owners has spread a lot today they are judges, lawyers, presidents, doctors and many more. They don't see themselves to blame for what happen to the blacks (slavery) and feel they should not pay for it. Yet they enjoy the wealth that was gained from slavery and years of discrimination. It trickled down to them.

Now that's is just plain insane. Yes, they should NOT see themselves to blame for slavery and should NOT pay anything to anyone. They are NOT responsible for what their ancestors did. And for that matter, blacks who are living now have NEVER been slaves, so they are'nt entitled to any reparations either. So, unless you find a white person alive who actually owned slaves and a black person alive who actually was a slave, your argument is inane.

Regards to Obama, he just got in office every day we here about him making tough decision. If you remember when bush came to office he spent most of his time on vacation. So all you closet racists out there, leave Obama alone, let him try to do what he can to fix the problems of the country. Even before he he was in office he has been working on trying to fix the problem. He is working very hard under the hardest conditions so let him work.

I'm not gonna get into whole Obama argument here now, but if he actually wanted to fix anything he wouldn't be doing what he is doing now. All he is working on is increasing spending on unnecessary pet projects and increasing budget defecit. And small business owners, people who create most jobs in this country, will have to pay for that. Obviously Bush was a failure, but so far Obama is just making it worse and worse.

Most of the people in america are immigrants or descendent of immigrant. Many have experience racism, prejudice, and all sort of crimes back in there own country. But When here they easily forget become the racist themselves.

Like i said before there are many black people in this world this was the story of the Black Americans. Other black people have different stories but when they come to USA to they are treated just as the Black Americans. It takes years for bad things to erase but the good news is it is happening faster then most think and some want it too. We do have a black president. Many Blacks are very wealthy. Many more have great families and great companies and jobs. They fought for it. When the lady (the original author) described her self as asian and her cheating man as a black maybe she believe it was a factor, a reason for her situation, then all the racist came out with there statements. That was sad i hope that you guys see that light for the time have change and people will soon be seen as people and not for the color of there skin.

Once again, i'm NOT being racist here. I'm being realistic. And reality isn't pretty. But the good news is that times are changin for better and there are more and more black people who grew up poor in bad neighbourhoods, but choose to get out, get an education and work hard instead of dealing drugs and complaining about "evil whites". That's the Amercian way. Look how successful Asian immigrants are. They come over often without education or valuable skills, with language and cultural barrier, work hard and live poor, but they make it. And their kids go to school and go to college and get a job and work harder than 90% of people. The reason is that their parents teach them about personal responsibility and self reliance and...it works. They, as many other immigrants, certainly face a lot more hardships, but they work hard, they don't ###### and complain and they make it. Black people are not any worse, but they are often being hold back by the sense of entitlement which is set into them by this whole "they owe us" talk. They got equal rights and opportunities, now it's time to use them. People like Sharpton and Jackson are actually hurting black community by setting and nursing this sense of entitlement. NAACP and KKK both need to go away and stay in the past. Either we are equal or we are not. If we have equal rights, we should be treated equally too and have equal protection.

So, before you "educate" me, why don't you first educate yourself. I am educated enough - between my masters degree, fluency in 3 languages and all the researches and statistics i read, i have an abilty to at least judge and question the information given to me and research further to find what's true and what's not. You are just giving me a typical liberal doctrine, probably copied out of some ACLU handbook or something like that. You don't bother questioning it or checking the facts, you just believe that it's the "right thing" to believe in and doing so makes you a better person, so you do. So, hold off your attitude and educate yourself; and while you are at it, you might want to pick up some English grammar too. As of now you sound ignorant, both in shape and in substance...

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

Wow! Your statements has proven that you are very ignorant. I will do the best that i can to educate you, here we go,

1.) Africans was taken from their country and brought to the Americas. In US like many other places they become slaves. Many mixed with the Native American. In fact 40% of Black American's have Native American blood. Some was rape by their slave owners and started producing mixed race. in other countries we know these mixes as latinos and hispanic.

2.) In USA the slave owners made lots of money.

3.) They where told they would received money and land. Yet got nothing.

4.) Organization like the NAACP was created to help blacks who was discriminated against. KKK was created after slavery was abolish to keep blacks down and to put fear in them. KKK would burn black churches and hang (Kill) black people for no reason. Naacp goes to court to ask for fairness.

5.) Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson tries to make sure that a black man who is holding a wallet in his hands don't get shot 41 times (Amadou Diallo) by the the police for no reason and get away with it. I can't see how that is equal. If you do then maybe you are part of the KKK or share their views.

6.) For years blacks have been accused of crimes they did not commit. This brought more hardship to the community.

7.) Then came drugs. Drugs mysteriously slipped into the black communities. Where did all the drugs came from. Not too many drug cartel's are black. In fact I can bet none of them are.

8.) Most black that are in prison is due to drugs. When a cop stop a group of white kids who have marijuana they get a warning. A group of black kids get arrested.

9.) Now keep in mind those descendent of the slave owners has spread a lot today they are judges, lawyers, presidents, doctors and many more. They don't see themselves to blame for what happen to the blacks (slavery) and feel they should not pay for it. Yet they enjoy the wealth that was gained from slavery and years of discrimination. It trickled down to them.

10.) Regards to Obama, he just got in office every day we here about him making tough decision. If you remember when bush came to office he spent most of his time on vacation. So all you closet racists out there, leave Obama alone, let him try to do what he can to fix the problems of the country. Even before he he was in office he has been working on trying to fix the problem. He is working very hard under the hardest conditions so let him work.

this is what happens when an immigrant tries to write american history. i suppose i do as well when writing about china. so, for the record, in case some aliens are reading this off a satelite transmission 3 million light years away on the 3rd planet of a blue star, and wondering what america is really like:

1.) Africans were captured by warring tribes and carried to the coast for sale to slavery by other africans. Very few of them are mixed with native americans. African/Indian mix is relatively rare. Africam/White mix is not rare, and it is called mulatto. Hispanic and Latino sometimes contain black, but are mostly Indian, with some Spanish mixed in.

2.) in 1865, most slave owners were broke.

3.) 40 acres and a mule did happen. many who received this squandered it, or failed to manage it well enough to succeed. tough #######, that's business, baby.

4.) NAACP was created to increase education of blacks, and make them more functional in society. this was perverted in the 70's into demands that blacks receive preferential treatment, so that they wouldn't have to be as functional as other ethnicities to get the same rewards. KKK was created to resist federal occupation of the southern states that continued after the civil war. KKK later terrorised all kinds of immigrants, including whites of different nations.

5.) Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson try to keep their names in the headlines, and their pockets full.

6.) for years, blacks have been convicted of crimes they did commit. this has caused hardship for whites, who are disproportinately victim of blacks, and who pay disproportionately for their incarceration.

7.) drugs mysteriously slipped in from vietnam, to supply all of the blacks who had become user during their combat tours, and the whites who had become users, as well. both are human, but the difference in addiction rates is notable. didn't you see that denzel washington movie about a black drug family in new york during the height of it all. based on a true story, buddy.

8.) check your FBI uniform crime statistics reports. a higher percentage of blacks in jail are there for violent crimes than whites by percentage. period. the end.

9.) most white people in the US today are descended from the waves of immigrants that came after 1865 or from the more populus northeastern colonies where slavery was never practiced. most whites in US today have no ancestors who owned slaves. we don't owe a cent to any black for slavery.

10.) regarding obama, he isn't working to save america. he is working to make himself and the people who supported him rich, and i'm not talking about the people who voted for him, so forget that, friend. how can i say this? all i have to do is look at his past, and i can see his present, and his future. he will rob us both, but at least i'm a resisting victim. you're a compliant fool.

Hey, justashooter, thanks a lot for backing my point. I started typing my response in the morning, but then got distracted at work and only fnished it during lunch break - so i didn't read your reply until i posted mine. But i'm very glad to see thay you pointed out a lot of the same things i did. Thank you for standing up and saying the truth, even though we probably gonna get buried in "aaaaa they are soooo raaaaacisiiiist" screams soon...the sad thing is that THEY are actually the ones being racist, but it's hard for an indoctrinated liberal to process logic...

[F23 0]

i came in here in the US last 2006 on a K-1 visa, it was a quit a journey for me.

i thought my husband loved me, but started cheating on me, I'm Asian, his black.i was

jobless for almost 8 mts, bec papers was pending with immigration, he started cheating,

spending nights on another womans house/apartment.

when i started working last Sept of 07, i did not have a

drivers license back then, so he would pick me and bring me to work, he said he is aggrevated

of the situation that i dont drive, HE takes my money and just leave me $100-

his reason, i have to contribute to household bills.

but came to found out, he paid his other womans apartment (saw the bank statement), he would

talk to his other woman infront me.. He would tell me that he was just forced to marry me bec he dont

want me to go back to my country.. that i am only his immigration wife.

of all the things he said to me, i sucked it all up. i prayed every night that he will change.

as time passed, he still gets my money

last MAY2008, i obtain a drivers license and a family member helped me co-sign a car.

and in snap, he stopped seeing the girl--

he still gets 300 out of my paycheck until now

now just tonight, when he got home, he acted strange, packed his weekend bag, left without saying a word.

seems like he is doing the same thing over again,

i am tired, i love him but i deserve to be treated better..

and i just filed my petition to remove conditions on Residence

wow! maybe it will happen to me soon... my husband is black too! i think i'll be happy if he's doing like this to me..anyway i will not be a loser,divorced #### that! he will be a loser,she can't find someone like me. Your husband supposed to be so proud that you marry him coz in reality Asian hates black coz of their color and background...

So, #### that! get a divorced paper sooner! don't waste time in his stinky butt.

Edited March 10, 2009 by F23

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Lord, somebody shut it down

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Lord, somebody shut it down

[justashooter 430]

Hey, justashooter, thanks a lot for backing my point. I started typing my response in the morning, but then got distracted at work and only fnished it during lunch break - so i didn't read your reply until i posted mine. But i'm very glad to see thay you pointed out a lot of the same things i did. Thank you for standing up and saying the truth, even though we probably gonna get buried in "aaaaa they are soooo raaaaacisiiiist" screams soon...the sad thing is that THEY are actually the ones being racist, but it's hard for an indoctrinated liberal to process logic...

i got your six anytime.

[justashooter 430]

wow! maybe it will happen to me soon... my husband is black too! i think i'll be happy if he's doing like this to me..anyway i will not be a loser,divorced #### that! he will be a loser,she can't find someone like me. Your husband supposed to be so proud that you marry him coz in reality Asian hates black coz of their color and background...

So, #### that! get a divorced paper sooner! don't waste time in his stinky butt.

in before the lock to agree that asians (chinese) i know are terribly racist in general, and especially so against blacks. this merely a report of comments repeatedly made by mainland chinese people within my acquaintaince over a 4 year period.

personally, for me it's not about color. it's about culture. a culture of disrespectful behaviour, avoidance of responsibility, and violence gets no good words for me, white, yellow, red, or black.

[Old Dominion 26]

NoVa Redneck and Justashooter do represent a subculture in the U.S. Perhaps there needs to be a VJ forum devoted to those in their subculture so they can debate all they want.

[Old Dominion 26]

Does justashooter live in Galveston, TX by any chance? If so, he knows the horrible story of Dymond Millburn, a 12-year-old black girl who was an honor student. While helping her parents in their back yard, she was accosted by four plainclothes cops who accused her of prostitution. She ended up with serious injuries, and was charged with resisting arrest. The charge was thrown out of court just a couple of weeks ago. This is an example of the attitude toward blacks that justashooter and NOVA redneck seem to have:

http://www.libertysblog.com/2009/02/getting-revenge.html

[justashooter 430]

NoVa Redneck and Justashooter do represent a subculture in the U.S. Perhaps there needs to be a VJ forum devoted to those in their subculture so they can debate all they want.

last i checked, we still were the majority in the US. it's only in places like this forum, that cater to immigrants, where we've even close to a minority, and it just looks that way because liberals all feel the need to open their mouths. most conservatives will just sit back and watch, as long as one or two of us are whipping the liberals into shape.