need some thoughts-- husband cheating

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Okay.......I thought the orginal poster came here for advice

Edited March 9, 2009 by TRELAWNY PARISH

[KimandRuss 0]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

I agree 200%. Obama is a typical product of Chicago political machine which was closely related to mafia ever since Al Capone (and maybe earlier). Plus, he is a decmocrap, which normally means he is a cheating hypocrite and a socialist too...

Keep this discussion on topic please.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

[PlatyPius 5]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

[Nagishkaw 510]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

So, if someone doesn't like obama it makes his/her stupid? As far as i can see, most of people who voted for obama weren't too smart, because the guy is clearly a screw up.

(P.S. Before you attack me, i'm not defending Bush and agree that he was a disaster. But so far, i don't see obama being any better at all...)

[Fizz 1]

i kinda hate to state the obvious, but why dont you just leave him and go back to the philippines?

First off, the original poster didn't state or didnt hint if she's from philippines. She just said she's Asian.

Second, she came to US for a reason and like all my family, we came to North America for a better life. And I see a lot of people (men & women) that has a certain perception of life when they move. But, its always hard to start life in a new country. For example, my family came to Canada 15 years ago with $500 CDN in our pocket and there were my parents plus 4 kids. We shared 1 small bedroom for a whole year before we moved. And my parents working at Mcdonalds cuz no one would hire b/c their english is second language. it baffles them that they could get such a shi**y job when they are accountants and college professors @ philipines. so you cant just say go back to your country cuz its hard out here. Its kind of insulting for you to say that.

she came on a K1 visa. that visa is so she can get married. it is a non-immigrant visa. if the marriage didnt work out then why is it insulting to suggest she go back home?

congratulations to your parents working so hard for a better life but that really doesnt have anything to do with the original posters immigration status.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

So, if someone doesn't like obama it makes his/her stupid? As far as i can see, most of people who voted for obama weren't too smart, because the guy is clearly a screw up.

(P.S. Before you attack me, i'm not defending Bush and agree that he was a disaster. But so far, i don't see obama being any better at all...)

No, but when someone brings in the President's parenting abilities in a thread about someone husband's cheating yes, the comment it is pretty freaking stupid.

This thread is not about Obama.

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

So, if someone doesn't like obama it makes his/her stupid? As far as i can see, most of people who voted for obama weren't too smart, because the guy is clearly a screw up.

(P.S. Before you attack me, i'm not defending Bush and agree that he was a disaster. But so far, i don't see obama being any better at all...)

No, but when someone brings in the President's parenting abilities in a thread about someone husband's cheating yes, the comment it is pretty freaking stupid.

This thread is not about Obama.

That is true

[rebeccajo 14]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

And why are they still here?

[Sinergy 3]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

####### does this have to do with the price of tea where your wife comes from? You have serious serious inadequacy issues.

Seriously..... #######? Obama doesn't care about his children. Yeah, that's obvious, isn't it?

And he's SUCH a bad role model.....being President and all.

What IS going on on VJ lately? Has someone been passing out Stupid Sandwiches? I swear I've seen more utterly, mind-numbingly MORONIC statements on VJ in the past month or two than I have in years. Where did all of the idiots come from?

And why are they still here?

finally...ppl ask the long awaited question

[NatPatBen 3]

First of all some things do not make sense. Why would he go through the whole emotional process of filing for a visa for you , bring u here to act like this almost right away??

BUT if he is the way u say then I wonder how you can give ur check to him?? its YOUR check written in YOUR name. Go cash it, pay some of the bills and keep the rest. Why do u give him any of it? And why not just go stay with ur relatives some nights, make ur own life, ignore him untill u get lifting of conditions and say bye bye.. he is obviously sick in his own mind, with no real respect for women.Best of luck.

I agree 100% with what you're saying.

[jOHnLei 0]

HI..

WELL, YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT.. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE STRONG AND BE HOPEFUL IN ANY WAY.. TALK TO HIM CALMLY..

GOD IS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME..

[coldwatersurf 5]

Anyways..... aside from all the mumbo jumbo.......

I think there's really nothing to be reconciled in the relationship. Clearly the husband doesnt want to be involved in the marriage anymore. You should just petition for yourself.

[ghomnet 1]

I agree that it's unfair to make such statements and the profiling is wrong. However, the statistics are pretty clear. The amout of broken single parent families, unmarried mothers with multiple kids from different men and so on is clearly larger on the black side. Unfortunately, same goes for crime. And there are plenty and plenty of very decent black men out there who suffer from these stereotypes and it's unfair. But unfortunately these problems are laying deep in black communtiy and are often promoted by hip-hop so called culture and racist organizations like NAACP which often protect violent criminals (convicted with multiple witness accounts and plenty of evidence) just because they are black. In this regard, NAACP is no better than KKK. And don't tell me that i'm racist - a lot of my black co-workers totally agree with this assesment. They also say that if all black people stopped living in the past and demand special treatment because their ancestors were enslaved and just started acting and living like everyone esle (as many of them do), then racism would disappear by itself. Bill Cosby probably has the best description of this problem - he should be a role model for everyone, not racist populists like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton...

Wow! Your statements has proven that you are very ignorant. I will do the best that i can to educate you, here we go, Africans was taken from their country and brought to the Americas. In US like many other places they become slaves. Many mixed with the Native American. In fact 40% of Black American's have Native American blood. Some was rape by their slave owners and started producing mixed race. in other countries we know these mixes as latinos and hispanic. In USA the slave owners made lots of money. Many things was built by the slave including the White House. Many whites become more wealthier then there wildest dreams. When slavery was abolish the rich stayed rich and the blacks was dirt poor having nothing. They where told they would received money and land. Yet got nothing. The White people who still needed to profit from cheap labor came up with ways to have blacks to stay for ever in debt to them. As time went on the descendent of rich spread and continued to enjoy their families wealth. The blacks who manage to own there land was terrorized by the KKK. Many laws was passed discriminating against black from certain jobs, less paying jobs. So the white "side" were able to work, make a good living and support a loving family. They taught there children how to live and the standard of life to expect. On the "black side" with low paying jobs or no jobs at all, frustration, malnutrition, and poverty expectation of a good life was low.

Organization like the NAACP was created to help blacks who was discriminated against. KKK was created after slavery was abolish to keep blacks down and to put fear in them. KKK would burn black churches and hang (Kill) black people for no reason. Naacp goes to court to ask for fairness. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson tries to make sure that a black man who is holding a wallet in his hands don't get shot 41 times (Amadou Diallo) by the the police for no reason and get away with it. I can't see how that is equal. If you do then maybe you are part of the KKK or share their views.

For years blacks have been accused of crimes they did not commit. This brought more hardship to the community. Then there was a brain wash that went on a propaganda by the media, every night they would show black men being arrested for all sorts of crimes. This did two thing put fear of blacks in peoples heads (even blacks started to fear blacks), and 2nd this made blacks feel that they were bad. Many of them accepted it and started to live up to this expectation. This is what is called brain washed.

Then came drugs. Drugs mysteriously slipped into the black communities. Where did all the drugs came from. Not too many drug cartel's are black. In fact I can bet none of them are. Sad to say some blacks do see drug dealing as way out of poverty. Not realizing they are going back to another form of slavery. They work hard, die, lose themselves, and there family for it while the rich gets richer. Most black that are in prison is due to drugs. When a cop stop a group of white kids who have marijuana they get a warning. A group of black kids get arrested. This is what is called police profiling. We all here about cops stopping blacks with nice cars. So it is easy to see why the jails are filled with blacks.

Now keep in mind those descendent of the slave owners has spread a lot today they are judges, lawyers, presidents, doctors and many more. They don't see themselves to blame for what happen to the blacks (slavery) and feel they should not pay for it. Yet they enjoy the wealth that was gained from slavery and years of discrimination. It trickled down to them.

Regards to Obama, he just got in office every day we here about him making tough decision. If you remember when bush came to office he spent most of his time on vacation. So all you closet racists out there, leave Obama alone, let him try to do what he can to fix the problems of the country. Even before he he was in office he has been working on trying to fix the problem. He is working very hard under the hardest conditions so let him work.

Most of the people in america are immigrants or descendent of immigrant. Many have experience racism, prejudice, and all sort of crimes back in there own country. But When here they easily forget become the racist themselves.

Like i said before there are many black people in this world this was the story of the Black Americans. Other black people have different stories but when they come to USA to they are treated just as the Black Americans. It takes years for bad things to erase but the good news is it is happening faster then most think and some want it too. We do have a black president. Many Blacks are very wealthy. Many more have great families and great companies and jobs. They fought for it. When the lady (the original author) described her self as asian and her cheating man as a black maybe she believe it was a factor, a reason for her situation, then all the racist came out with there statements. That was sad i hope that you guys see that light for the time have change and people will soon be seen as people and not for the color of there skin.