need some thoughts-- husband cheating

[ghomnet 1]

Well heck lil lady , that was awful nice of him to marry you over concern, his immigration wife. He want his cakes and cookies avail and ready to eat. take him for all he is got and get a decent azzz husband. Tell him the business relationship , has just begum..buwahahaha what an emotional abuser. player with feelings. ah he re..al cool NOT. Not very many of those grown AZZ black men like BARAK. you thing they shape it up!! and have a little self respect and pride. But Heal no playing the fool and thinking they cool ..whateve talk to the hand holmes is wot id say, quit doing your asian girl drama save me crying and get on with it. be strong curb his sorry ####!!

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more. Good black man did not start with Obama. Keep in mind when saying the word black your grouping together multiple of races, people from the Caribbean, from many different countries of African, South America, America, Europe, and many others places. It is happen because she met the wrong person (not the wrong black person but a person ) that does not know what he wants are some how seem to not care for her. The are many man of all races that are immature and still want to keep dating as if they are teens. In away i like to say this guy sounds like he needs to grow up and realize he has a wife. If she did something to make him want to cheat he has to realize that is not the answer. What i would say to her is this. Marriage is real, some guys do cheat in the begging then become the greatest husbands however most just keep doing it. Some time they stop then start again. I know this is not a comfortable way of living. But no matter what you do, do not, do not cheat your self. Don't bring your self down to his level. Once your there you may lose your self. Yes what he is doing is considered emotional abuse. If you are ok with the idea of leaving him then leave and there is a great chance you will be able to stay in this country if that is what you want. But make sure to gather plenty of evidence. I would buy a tape recorder and record the things he says to you. Keep a copy of the bank statements. You have to have strong proof. Some time women start to get jealous and think the man is cheating and he is not at that moment every thing seems real then it turns out when he goes out at night its to his buddies house for beer and vidieo games. The apartment he paid was his little female cousins and he was ashamed to tell you. If that is the case it would not be good. So make sure you have lots and lots of clear proof. I would even hire or get someone to follow him around and take pictures catch him in the act. One more thing i find that most men who cheat on going it's usually because the women lets them. You may not want to walk out of the relationship cause you think you will lose your green card that maybe why he is losing respect for you. If i were you i would have a Long conversation him tell him how you feel and that you want a separation (after your proof) it not a divorce but it will send the message i will not be disrespected i am a woman.

[livelife 0]

Why do you have to suffer because of this" black" guy...leave him and move on with your life..file charges against him,adultery,gather all the evidences you can get...report him to the immigration as well before he play tricks on you...why do you have to give your salary to him..he sucks....love should not be suffering,it should make you happy...it shows he is immature and doesn't really love you..i guess...

Edited March 8, 2009 by livelife

[ghomnet 1]

Why do you have to suffer because of this" black" guy...leave him and move on with your life..file charges against him,adultery,gather all the evidences you can get...report him to the immigration as well before he play tricks on you...why do you have to give your salary to him..he sucks....love should not be suffering,it should make you happy...it shows he is immature and doesn't really love you..i guess...

Again with the "black", your being racist and ignorant.

[Got Charmed 0]

Well heck lil lady , that was awful nice of him to marry you over concern, his immigration wife. He want his cakes and cookies avail and ready to eat. take him for all he is got and get a decent azzz husband. Tell him the business relationship , has just begum..buwahahaha what an emotional abuser. player with feelings. ah he re..al cool NOT. Not very many of those grown AZZ black men like BARAK. you thing they shape it up!! and have a little self respect and pride. But Heal no playing the fool and thinking they cool ..whateve talk to the hand holmes is wot id say, quit doing your asian girl drama save me crying and get on with it. be strong curb his sorry ####!!

Ok lets get something straight now, im a proud american born black man and for you to say that there are not many grown #### black men like President Obama is about a racial slur if i never heard one before, how many blacks have you met for you to say such a thing about my race? it insulting and speaks well about who you are, this lady had a problem with a man dont matter if he is black white asian or arab he is a man with a serious problem that he needs to get fixed, so dont throw my race under the bus because of one person and for you infomation thats President Obama to you, give her advice but dont place the race card.

[Got Charmed 0]

Well heck lil lady , that was awful nice of him to marry you over concern, his immigration wife. He want his cakes and cookies avail and ready to eat. take him for all he is got and get a decent azzz husband. Tell him the business relationship , has just begum..buwahahaha what an emotional abuser. player with feelings. ah he re..al cool NOT. Not very many of those grown AZZ black men like BARAK. you thing they shape it up!! and have a little self respect and pride. But Heal no playing the fool and thinking they cool ..whateve talk to the hand holmes is wot id say, quit doing your asian girl drama save me crying and get on with it. be strong curb his sorry ####!!

Your being a racist and its sad because your in our country bringing your muddy ideas about my race.

[Fizz 1]

i kinda hate to state the obvious, but why dont you just leave him and go back to the philippines?

[Bobby+Umit 161]

i came in here in the US last 2006 on a K-1 visa, it was a quit a journey for me.

i thought my husband loved me, but started cheating on me, I'm Asian, his black.i was

jobless for almost 8 mts, bec papers was pending with immigration, he started cheating,

spending nights on another womans house/apartment.

when i started working last Sept of 07, i did not have a

drivers license back then, so he would pick me and bring me to work, he said he is aggrevated

of the situation that i dont drive, HE takes my money and just leave me $100-

his reason, i have to contribute to household bills.

but came to found out, he paid his other womans apartment (saw the bank statement), he would

talk to his other woman infront me.. He would tell me that he was just forced to marry me bec he dont

want me to go back to my country.. that i am only his immigration wife.

of all the things he said to me, i sucked it all up. i prayed every night that he will change.

as time passed, he still gets my money

last MAY2008, i obtain a drivers license and a family member helped me co-sign a car.

and in snap, he stopped seeing the girl--

he still gets 300 out of my paycheck until now

now just tonight, when he got home, he acted strange, packed his weekend bag, left without saying a word.

seems like he is doing the same thing over again,

i am tired, i love him but i deserve to be treated better..

and i just filed my petition to remove conditions on Residence

Stop praying and start controlling your own life.

You can remove conditions yourself, as long as you entered into the marriage in good faith.

From what you wrote, it appears he is using you for money, he is cheating on you, grounds for divorce.

You don't have to wait in the marriage just to get approved. If it's this bad, talk to a divorce lawyer, go to a shelter, seek out others to help you where you live.

[merijan 0]

First of all some things do not make sense. Why would he go through the whole emotional process of filing for a visa for you , bring u here to act like this almost right away??

BUT if he is the way u say then I wonder how you can give ur check to him?? its YOUR check written in YOUR name. Go cash it, pay some of the bills and keep the rest. Why do u give him any of it? And why not just go stay with ur relatives some nights, make ur own life, ignore him untill u get lifting of conditions and say bye bye.. he is obviously sick in his own mind, with no real respect for women.Best of luck.

[melusine 5]

get your car and belongings... and leave him ???

of course take copies of all papers you have for his infidelity then start the divorce procedure.

You know and it's even easy... the guy is not there during week ends !!

Edited March 8, 2009 by melusine

[coldwatersurf 5]

To the original poster:

I hate to see spouses moving to another country and get screwed over. urghhhh. But you have to stand up for yourself and just b/c you are in a new country, it might be scary for you that you have to face this by yourself. But there are other people that have probably gone through the same problem. So I believe for every problem there is a solution. Im sure there are a lot of resources out there (ie. shelters, lawyers) that can provide you with options to fight this battle.

i kinda hate to state the obvious, but why dont you just leave him and go back to the philippines?

First off, the original poster didn't state or didnt hint if she's from philippines. She just said she's Asian.

Second, she came to US for a reason and like all my family, we came to North America for a better life. And I see a lot of people (men & women) that has a certain perception of life when they move. But, its always hard to start life in a new country. For example, my family came to Canada 15 years ago with $500 CDN in our pocket and there were my parents plus 4 kids. We shared 1 small bedroom for a whole year before we moved. And my parents working at Mcdonalds cuz no one would hire b/c their english is second language. it baffles them that they could get such a shi**y job when they are accountants and college professors @ philipines. so you cant just say go back to your country cuz its hard out here. Its kind of insulting for you to say that.

Your being a racist and its sad because your in our country bringing your muddy ideas about my race.

I feel bad that there are people that probably voice out certain things and its not how they meant it to come out. Gosh, some of my older family would say things that sounds like it would get them in trouble if they said it in public but i look past that b/c they are old fashioned and I just have to teach them. its hard to believe but some people just do not adjust to western lifestyle.

[ghomnet 1]

To the original poster:

I hate to see spouses moving to another country and get screwed over. urghhhh. But you have to stand up for yourself and just b/c you are in a new country, it might be scary for you that you have to face this by yourself. But there are other people that have probably gone through the same problem. So I believe for every problem there is a solution. Im sure there are a lot of resources out there (ie. shelters, lawyers) that can provide you with options to fight this battle.

i kinda hate to state the obvious, but why dont you just leave him and go back to the philippines?

First off, the original poster didn't state or didnt hint if she's from philippines. She just said she's Asian.

Second, she came to US for a reason and like all my family, we came to North America for a better life. And I see a lot of people (men & women) that has a certain perception of life when they move. But, its always hard to start life in a new country. For example, my family came to Canada 15 years ago with $500 CDN in our pocket and there were my parents plus 4 kids. We shared 1 small bedroom for a whole year before we moved. And my parents working at Mcdonalds cuz no one would hire b/c their english is second language. it baffles them that they could get such a shi**y job when they are accountants and college professors @ philipines. so you cant just say go back to your country cuz its hard out here. Its kind of insulting for you to say that.

Your being a racist and its sad because your in our country bringing your muddy ideas about my race.

I feel bad that there are people that probably voice out certain things and its not how they meant it to come out. Gosh, some of my older family would say things that sounds like it would get them in trouble if they said it in public but i look past that b/c they are old fashioned and I just have to teach them. its hard to believe but some people just do not adjust to western lifestyle.

i understand what you mean when you say they have to adjust to western life, but when they use the black word (not the author in this case) they (the commenters) where being racist. Here is one statement "Not very many of those grown AZZ black men like BARAK. you thing they shape it up!! and have a little self respect and pride. But Heal no playing the fool and thinking they cool ..whateve talk to the hand holmes is wot id say" here is a second "Why do you have to suffer because of this" black" guy...leave him and move on with your life." I know in Asia and in the Philippines light skinned and dark skin is a big issue, where light skinned is looked at being more favorable. However one has to keep in mind that it is a brain wash that was done to keep the light people in power who was not even from Asian or not Philippines. Here in these comment you hear another brian wash some kind of idea that black men cheat and wont respect you. That is what is wrong.

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

To the original poster:

I hate to see spouses moving to another country and get screwed over. urghhhh. But you have to stand up for yourself and just b/c you are in a new country, it might be scary for you that you have to face this by yourself. But there are other people that have probably gone through the same problem. So I believe for every problem there is a solution. Im sure there are a lot of resources out there (ie. shelters, lawyers) that can provide you with options to fight this battle.

i kinda hate to state the obvious, but why dont you just leave him and go back to the philippines?

First off, the original poster didn't state or didnt hint if she's from philippines. She just said she's Asian.

Second, she came to US for a reason and like all my family, we came to North America for a better life. And I see a lot of people (men & women) that has a certain perception of life when they move. But, its always hard to start life in a new country. For example, my family came to Canada 15 years ago with $500 CDN in our pocket and there were my parents plus 4 kids. We shared 1 small bedroom for a whole year before we moved. And my parents working at Mcdonalds cuz no one would hire b/c their english is second language. it baffles them that they could get such a shi**y job when they are accountants and college professors @ philipines. so you cant just say go back to your country cuz its hard out here. Its kind of insulting for you to say that.

Your being a racist and its sad because your in our country bringing your muddy ideas about my race.

I feel bad that there are people that probably voice out certain things and its not how they meant it to come out. Gosh, some of my older family would say things that sounds like it would get them in trouble if they said it in public but i look past that b/c they are old fashioned and I just have to teach them. its hard to believe but some people just do not adjust to western lifestyle.

i understand what you mean when you say they have to adjust to western life, but when they use the black word (not the author in this case) they (the commenters) where being racist. Here is one statement "Not very many of those grown AZZ black men like BARAK. you thing they shape it up!! and have a little self respect and pride. But Heal no playing the fool and thinking they cool ..whateve talk to the hand holmes is wot id say" here is a second "Why do you have to suffer because of this" black" guy...leave him and move on with your life." I know in Asia and in the Philippines light skinned and dark skin is a big issue, where light skinned is looked at being more favorable. However one has to keep in mind that it is a brain wash that was done to keep the light people in power who was not even from Asian or not Philippines. Here in these comment you hear another brian wash some kind of idea that black men cheat and wont respect you. That is what is wrong.

I agree that it's unfair to make such statements and the profiling is wrong. However, the statistics are pretty clear. The amout of broken single parent families, unmarried mothers with multiple kids from different men and so on is clearly larger on the black side. Unfortunately, same goes for crime. And there are plenty and plenty of very decent black men out there who suffer from these stereotypes and it's unfair. But unfortunately these problems are laying deep in black communtiy and are often promoted by hip-hop so called culture and racist organizations like NAACP which often protect violent criminals (convicted with multiple witness accounts and plenty of evidence) just because they are black. In this regard, NAACP is no better than KKK. And don't tell me that i'm racist - a lot of my black co-workers totally agree with this assesment. They also say that if all black people stopped living in the past and demand special treatment because their ancestors were enslaved and just started acting and living like everyone esle (as many of them do), then racism would disappear by itself. Bill Cosby probably has the best description of this problem - he should be a role model for everyone, not racist populists like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton...

[^KK^ 3]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish you the best.

[justashooter 430]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

[Redneck-NOVA 1]

The word black is being thrown around wrong. It is offense the way the word black is being used here. It's almost seems like the author is saying this is happening because the guy is black and she is asian. That is not true. There are many black men that are great with there family and kids. More then you can imagine. Obama is a good example but there are many more.

obama is not a good example of a man who cares about his children and has good character. he is a leech on society, taking bribes and setting himself up like a king while blacks in his past political jurisdiction are living in condemned slums and he personally profited from the misallocation of spending intended for said slums. if he cared about anyone but himself, he would clean up his own neighborhhod, rather than spend his days lining his own pocket.

I agree 200%. Obama is a typical product of Chicago political machine which was closely related to mafia ever since Al Capone (and maybe earlier). Plus, he is a decmocrap, which normally means he is a cheating hypocrite and a socialist too...