so frusterated and upset

[nane1104 146]

Months ago I asked my fiance to get all his papers together that I need for my (K-1)Interview. He hasn't.

Finally he did the Affidavit of Support and got the employment letter. Got those two weeks ago.

Asked him to PLEASE hurry up now since things started to move really fast and I still needed all kinds of other papers from him, certified copies from his BC, divorce decree, tax return,...

My Interview is next week and he just sent the papers today. Well, no, he didn't get certified copies, he just sent the originals.

The letter of intend...didn't sign it. Asked him to send another one WITH siggi...and nooo fax, just send another print. BIG argument about why I am so into details and why he needs to send all that if we already sent it with the petition, blah blah blah.

This guy is so frusterating me. He hasn't done ###### for this whole thing, basically just did what I told him to do and now he is not even doing that just because he doesn't "THINK" we will need all that. Excuse me?

He basically has no idea about what is needed and what is going on and then gets at me for getting frusterated and mad?

We already had our talks about that and how frusterated I am that he really doesn't do anything in this whole process. He first freaked out, then promised to get more involved. Yea whatever! He hasn't read anything I sent him and asked him to read, not to mention he sat down and tried to actually find some info by himself, just to get a taste how hard it is to get all the info togethr that WE need for our case.

AAAAAAAHHHH.

I know I am really stressing right now because the Interview is so close, at the same time planning our wedding, organizing me moving to the States, dealing with a really bad stressful job right now,...but the way he is acting is so not what I need to deal with right now.

Am I just overreacting????

Edited June 19, 2006 by nane1104

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Many people (maybe most?) are not temperamentally suited to being do-it-yourselfers when it comes to this process. They are better off using the services of a competent attorney.

[sukie175 0]

Nadine I am really sorry to read how he is showing no interest and not helping you. No wonder you are stressed.

To be honest this throws up a whole load of red flags for me, how long have you guys been together, how much time have you spent together in person.

The reason I ask these questions is because most partners are as keen to be involved at the other end and know what is going on. I think his behaviour is very odd and not what you expect from someone head over heels in love and desperate to get their fiance home.

I think you may need to ask some hard questions of his commitment to you.

I wish you luck and hope there is another reason to explain his behaviour.

[maria_b84 0]

oh my goodness. Sorry to tell ya this but he soends just like my husband....he didnt do sh*t! he was sitting there and I was directing everything. I guess some ppl are like that....unfortunately. Well, u are not alone at least

maria

[nane1104 146]

Nadine I am really sorry to read how he is showing no interest and not helping you. No wonder you are stressed.

To be honest this throws up a whole load of red flags for me, how long have you guys been together, how much time have you spent together in person.

The reason I ask these questions is because most partners are as keen to be involved at the other end and know what is going on. I think his behaviour is very odd and not what you expect from someone head over heels in love and desperate to get their fiance home.

I think you may need to ask some hard questions of his commitment to you.

I wish you luck and hope there is another reason to explain his behaviour.

Umh...yea, reading my own post it really sounds bad. It is not that he doesn't care at all. He is just lazy and too comfortable with me doing it and that successfully so far.

He told me he just feels like I have everything under control and he is proud of how I handle everything.

We have been together for 2 1/2 years and he has always been there for me when it came to giving advice. In giving true support, he is just not good.

Since I never needed advice from him, he figures everything is cool.

He is a great guy, I mean, seriously. He gets a whole lot of stuff done when he has to. I guess he just thinks, he doesn't have to in this case.

Not that he doesn't want to help me, he just thinks, all this evidence and proof is totally unneccessary and actually he is just trying to save me time and work.

Well, yea, we submitted photos and enough proff for two relationships..lol, so now he just can't see why I need MORE...and why ORIGINALS, why CERTIFIED, NOTARIZED...

too practical.

His letter of intend is the exact same than the one for the petition..he just changed the date.

I guess it is alright...it staes everything needed, I just wished he would put a little more effort into all that stuff....ah well.

Next time something like this comes up, I guess I have to act stupid and let him take care of it, maybe then he sees..

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Many people (maybe most?) are not temperamentally suited to being do-it-yourselfers when it comes to this process. They are better off using the services of a competent attorney.

So true. I'm one of those. But I did this process with the help of VJ and it has been much easier. I like to procrastinate and misplace things. But I have all my USCIS paperwork still and have filed on time.

[Reba 2]

you don't actually need anything other than the originals that he's given you. USCIS will need a photocopy of it, and you can take the "originals" away with you at the close of your successful interview. A "certified copy" is actually what most of us call "the original". It will have the appropriate stamp or seal on it, and the actual original is kept by the issuing office (ie: the registrar of births, or the divorce court etc etc etc)

I totally understand how frustrating all of this is, and how even more daunting it all looks when we little to no help from our USC half of things. This usually happens when the USC half of things doesn't frequent discussion forums such as this to see just how often applications do not result in visas Sometimes I think that forums such as these have a tendency to add more stress to the ever growing pile that we generate for ourselves

Just try to relax and go thru everything you have so far, you've probably got everything you need already, you will just need to make photocopies. One set for you to keep, and one set for the interviewer at the consulate.

*hugs*

[raphael7546 0]

Months ago I asked my fiance to get all his papers together that I need for my (K-1)Interview. He hasn't.

Finally he did the Affidavit of Support and got the employment letter. Got those two weeks ago.

Asked him to PLEASE hurry up now since things started to move really fast and I still needed all kinds of other papers from him, certified copies from his BC, divorce decree, tax return,...

My Interview is next week and he just sent the papers today. Well, no, he didn't get certified copies, he just sent the originals.

The letter of intend...didn't sign it. Asked him to send another one WITH siggi...and nooo fax, just send another print. BIG argument about why I am so into details and why he needs to send all that if we already sent it with the petition, blah blah blah.

This guy is so frusterating me. He hasn't done ###### for this whole thing, basically just did what I told him to do and now he is not even doing that just because he doesn't "THINK" we will need all that. Excuse me?

He basically has no idea about what is needed and what is going on and then gets at me for getting frusterated and mad?

We already had our talks about that and how frusterated I am that he really doesn't do anything in this whole process. He first freaked out, then promised to get more involved. Yea whatever! He hasn't read anything I sent him and asked him to read, not to mention he sat down and tried to actually find some info by himself, just to get a taste how hard it is to get all the info togethr that WE need for our case.

AAAAAAAHHHH.

I know I am really stressing right now because the Interview is so close, at the same time planning our wedding, organizing me moving to the States, dealing with a really bad stressful job right now,...but the way he is acting is so not what I need to deal with right now.

Am I just overreacting????

Been there done that!! My husband didn't send me the stuff till 3 days before my interview so I can definetly understand your frustrations. Just remember tho , that this part will be over soon and all the stress will leave. LOL then more will come with moving, marrying and adjusting status. Believe me, this is just one of many hurdles! All the best to ya! Goodluck at your interview.

[sukie175 0]

Nadine I am really sorry to read how he is showing no interest and not helping you. No wonder you are stressed.

To be honest this throws up a whole load of red flags for me, how long have you guys been together, how much time have you spent together in person.

The reason I ask these questions is because most partners are as keen to be involved at the other end and know what is going on. I think his behaviour is very odd and not what you expect from someone head over heels in love and desperate to get their fiance home.

I think you may need to ask some hard questions of his commitment to you.

I wish you luck and hope there is another reason to explain his behaviour.

Umh...yea, reading my own post it really sounds bad. It is not that he doesn't care at all. He is just lazy and too comfortable with me doing it and that successfully so far.

He told me he just feels like I have everything under control and he is proud of how I handle everything.

We have been together for 2 1/2 years and he has always been there for me when it came to giving advice. In giving true support, he is just not good.

Since I never needed advice from him, he figures everything is cool.

He is a great guy, I mean, seriously. He gets a whole lot of stuff done when he has to. I guess he just thinks, he doesn't have to in this case.

Not that he doesn't want to help me, he just thinks, all this evidence and proof is totally unneccessary and actually he is just trying to save me time and work.

Well, yea, we submitted photos and enough proff for two relationships..lol, so now he just can't see why I need MORE...and why ORIGINALS, why CERTIFIED, NOTARIZED...

too practical.

His letter of intend is the exact same than the one for the petition..he just changed the date.

I guess it is alright...it staes everything needed, I just wished he would put a little more effort into all that stuff....ah well.

Next time something like this comes up, I guess I have to act stupid and let him take care of it, maybe then he sees..

Yeh it didn't sound good!

I am pleased that this just appears to be him not getting the importance that things are done right. Actually my hubby has thought a few times that I worry too much about evidence and we will be fine. Maybe men are just more laidback than us girls in this situation. Certainly I think women are more worriers than men generally.

Just make sure he does his fair share for your AOS, you'll be there then to prod him in person.

Good Luck

[Fuzzness 2]

1. he needs to get with the program

2. by the way you were talking about him, are you sure you want to marry him?

[nane1104 146]

Thank you very muchfor all the encouraging words. I feel much better now. Still pissed at him (he just called to tell me he doesn't want to argue, but when we talked I had to see he really has no clue..*sigh*), but it will be alright.

Yes, I have everything else in a binder, now I am looking for some nice pictures to add and put all the stuff for the "evidence section" together and then I am just waiting for his papers to get here and add those.

It is not about originals or certified copies. This is about him trusting me in everything I did so far and now that I asked him to do certain things, he starts questioning me, hoping, he can get away with "his way".

Yea, for AOS he's definitley gonna be more involved.

Thanks again for cheering me up!!

1. he needs to get with the program

2. by the way you were talking about him, are you sure you want to marry him?

LOL, yes I am absolutley positive.

I am just really upset right now...hey, I heard that happenes in the best marriages

I know we both are stressing right now. I about the visa and he about me stressing plus he has to undergo a surgery on wednesday and I know he is nervous even he won't admit it to me right now.

I am sure we will be fine once we both calm down...

thanks for your concerns though, I didn't mean to worry anybody.

[CarolineM 0]

I would never marry someone like that...just my opinion of course...but if he can't get it together for immigration...which is the ONE thing that will get ya'll together...just think of how he'll be on other, more trivial things...I think it's REALLY indicitive...

[Ladylethal 12]

My fiance did something similar in the sense he got lazy after I went after all the info, and I would get tired of telling him what each thing was and how to proceed, but he does make all the effort into doing EXACTLY what I tell him, doesn't THINK it's too much or too little or question the need for any papers, and will get everything done when and as I tell him.

I did get super stressed when the IMBRA thing hit us, and he didn't seem to understand, so one night I was so pissed off at the whole situation, and him just sitting there saying "don't worry" that I exploded and told him he'd do everything by himself from that day on.

Next day he comes saying he's super sorry, he sat down and read VJ upside down, read the laws, the forms, the requirements and understands now why I was so stressed out all the time. Now he knows what I am talking about and knows what will happen and even though I am still going after the info (better to keep checking so nothing is missed out), I know he's doing the same there so we're better 'cus it's two people looking out for our process now. He's super worried about getting documents in time and even wanted to do the affidavit now but I had to stop him and tell him no good since we're not even approved yet, don't want documents expiring or anything.

So yeah, what I am trying to say is that sharing how you feel and making him see what this process trully is, stressful, complicated, long, demanding, full of details, he'll understand the need for all that. You're too late in that though, since your interview is next week, I hope you get the docs you need in time.

[Not Available 0]

I understand what you mean... I love my husband to death, but when it came to the process of the K1... he was such a procrastinator! I didnt get any of my paperwork until the day I was leaving for montreal to go to my interview. Granted, it did give him a wake up call when I hadnt gotten my papers the day before I was due to leave.

[nane1104 146]

Well, we talked two more times and he tried to be supernice and we talked about looking for a flightticket soon and we sorted some other issues out (not between us, just things that need to be taken care of), but I still feel that I am upset with him about this whole visa thing and how he is so lazy and lets me do all the work but then questions me just because now HE has to do some work.

I really don't want to bring it up to him anymore because I am fed up with anything that has to do with visa and immigration right now, but I know he will notice that something is still wrong.

Uggh, I guess I just need a break. And a hug. And my visa. hihi