Aspergers Syndrome

[kygeographer 0]

My husband has great dificulty dealing with change... he hates it when I move something from the place he thinks it should live.....

He is (in his mind) always right.... and can not understand when someone disagrees with him...

One thing I know is very real and very deep is his love for me... Yes he is hard to live with.... yes we have our problems.... but he is the man I love.....

Kezzie

Your husband's a really lucky guy! For us "aspies", it's really hard to find someone that puts up with all our quirks and oddities, and loves us just the same.

[JayJay 4]

The worst thing is this misconception that people with aspergers don't feel anything! Duurr - course! And what makes it worse is that it's really hard to express in front of another person's face exactly how we're feeling.

And then on top of that we know perfectly well it aint gonna make any sense unless you are REALLY broad minded. Having tried smoking a joint once or twice for some reason seems to help people WITHOUT aspergers understand those WITH :D - that may sound stupid but it's just a little mind altering, you know, so funnily enough it seems to let people in on "our little secret". Darnit, how controversial can I get tonight?! *laughs*

God no now I'm laughing over that last paragraph...alright....calm down

That's it though - just quirks, and oddites. We don't mean anything by them. We're weird and we know it, and we really don't mind. Well I don't - now if anyone has a problem with the way I speak for example (I was one who used the words "existential", "Understanding of", "extremely" and "incredible" at the age of five AND did the whole painting in stupid detail thing), they can quite frankly, rack off!

Used to piss my brother off though, me using all those huge words. But he's gotten used to it now

[Welshcookie 17]

Your husband's a really lucky guy! For us "aspies", it's really hard to find someone that puts up with all our quirks and oddities, and loves us just the same.

awwww..........I always feel gutted when my son gets his heart broken...for he is truly devoted when he is in a relationship, but he is only 19 and girls his age don't always won't that much commitment...marriage and family is always his goal... I know in the future he will find someone who appreciates those goals and of course cope with his 'ways'

[JayJay 4]

Actually one good thing about being this way is I suppose that because I care about people, you kow, I explain feleing differently and sometimes this can help people. Because at the end of it all, the felling are the same - like a chemical compound, only the method of analysis is different.

Anyway I am going to go and have a beer at the local bar now, which will most likely be full of plebs as usual!

[kygeographer 0]

awwww..........I always feel gutted when my son gets his heart broken...for he is truly devoted when he is in a relationship, but he is only 19 and girls his age don't always won't that much commitment...marriage and family is always his goal... I know in the future he will find someone who appreciates those goals and of course cope with his 'ways'

I've had that problem before in previous relationships.. My ex said my "brain doesn't work right" once during an arguement, despite knowing otherwise. That one really hurt.

Felicity's used to working with kids with ADHD, and AS, and a few autistic kids, so she's probably been the most understanding of all of my quirks, and takes it for what it is. There's someone out there for him! If I could find someone, he's definitely got a fighting chance . even if they are all the way across the world

Anyway I am going to go and have a beer at the local bar now, which will most likely be full of plebs as usual!

Same here! Cheers from Kentucky!

Edited February 11, 2006 by kygeographer

[KarenCee 3]

I've worked and taught kids with Asperger's for two years now...its been the most rewarding part of my career to date. I'm very protective of the kids I teach, and I've taught special ed for 11 years now...those kids are my world when I'm at school. Asperger's is such a misunderstood disability...I wish there were more studies done on it. I'll be glad to answer or help out how ever I can.

[arwensun1965 0]

quick question if I may.... is Aspergers passed down from the parent??? I know that seems a strange question but ive been wondering about it.

Janice

[Welshcookie 17]

It can run down in famillies......I see it in my sons father and HIS father.....when our son was DX my ex husband immediately picked up on it .... trouble is this is still revelatively a 'new' syndrome so back in the day ppl were just labelled as 'different' or 'strange' or 'geeks'

But also it can result from minor brain damage...thro a difficult birth etc....my son had to be revived when he was born, so he was starved of oxygen for some time...also he is diabetic since a tiny baby and was in a diabetic coma.....all these were given as 'possible' causes for AS. You may be able to pin point what caused it or may never know....

I am going to find that link I promised you.....

[Jasman0717 9]

I never heard of this before but am now reading about it on the Internet.

[Welshcookie 17]

I've done the same thing numerous times.. it really boggles the people around me. Though, once I explained having AS to some of my friends, it all made sense. Lots of people with AS don't read emotions very well, and really aren't sure what to do in certain situations, which can, a lot of times give the impression that we're insensitive, or what not.

I spent alot of time 'coaching' my son as he grew up the simplest of social interactions...I know another teenager with AS who doesn't even think to say 'hello?' when he answers the door. He has grown up to be very sociable and has alot of friends....he is actually quite charismatic. The saddest thing with him is that he is very intelligent but cannot put it to any use. He survives on disability payments and has just started to live alone but has a keyworker who checks on him 3 times a week....this will carry on until he reaches 25. I don't ever see him holding down a job...his health is not great as 19 yrs of diabetes is taking it's toll also.

One person with AS can differ greatly to the next person with AS...it is complex.

[KarenCee 3]

I've done the same thing numerous times.. it really boggles the people around me. Though, once I explained having AS to some of my friends, it all made sense. Lots of people with AS don't read emotions very well, and really aren't sure what to do in certain situations, which can, a lot of times give the impression that we're insensitive, or what not.

I spent alot of time 'coaching' my son as he grew up the simplest of social interactions...I know another teenager with AS who doesn't even think to say 'hello?' when he answers the door. He has grown up to be very sociable and has alot of friends....he is actually quite charismatic. The saddest thing with him is that he is very intelligent but cannot put it to any use. He survives on disability payments and has just started to live alone but has a keyworker who checks on him 3 times a week....this will carry on until he reaches 25. I don't ever see him holding down a job...his health is not great as 19 yrs of diabetes is taking it's toll also.

One person with AS can differ greatly to the next person with AS...it is complex.

Its a VERY complex thing....I have two students, possibly three (if we can get a dx) that have AS...totally different personalities...one is somewhat social, the other is more withdrawn. The other student we suspect has AS is extremely social...and not always in a good way. It takes a great amount of love and patience when working with these special kids - and they are special, I love each one . I can't imagine what it's like as a parent. My deep respect goes out to those that have an AS child.

[almaty 19]

for what is it worth imho....an over diagnosed disorder as is adhd....i have been in the field for almost 30 years and every few years..a diagnosis becomes in vogue..not saying anything regarding anyone here...just a fact...and i am certain that all meet the criteria..

[Welshcookie 17]

for what is it worth imho....an over diagnosed disorder as is adhd....i have been in the field for almost 30 years and every few years..a diagnosis becomes in vogue..not saying anything regarding anyone here...just a fact...and i am certain that all meet the criteria..

I think you make a valid point. When my kid was small and I tried to find out why he was 'different' doctors were very keen to give him a DX of what was then merely 'hyperactive' (now ADHD I believe).....and I couldn't/wouldn't accept that. I saw that he was much like the austic child at his nursery yet more 'able' than him....I am certain in some cases doctors do 'mould' children into DX of sydromes. I only went to get a positive DX for my son when it became obvious that he needed help at school, and the only way to get that is to apply for a statement of special education.

[arwensun1965 0]

Thank you for the links welshcookie it is all very interesting, I would like to say that the Doctor said that Alarna has got a piece of the brain missing that links all things together, (his words not mine) so I was getting all kinds of DX when she was growing up, this letter from the college is the only real thing in writing I have since Alarna was very small.

Janice

[Welshcookie 17]

Jan...I re read your first post. How did the college come to this conclusion? you need to find this out....if you believe your daughter has AS YOU need to take her to get a professional DX.....I spend 4 hrs with a doctor answering a huge amount of questions going back to when he was just a baby, there is a specific criteria to be satisfied before anyone can tell you that your daughter has AS, and if anyone has carried this out without your knowledge or consent there is something very wrong.

Get in touch with the college and find out what they are saying.

edit to add.....of course I went thro this some years ago in the UK and I have no knowledge of how things are in the States

Edited February 11, 2006 by welshcookie