Aspergers Syndrome

[arwensun1965 0]

Hi, I have a daughter, Alarna she will be 18 in March and I just recieved a letter from the College that she attends to say that she has Aspergers Syndrome. I knew from when Alarna was small that something was different about her, took her to the hospital when she was two and a half and the doctor refused to have anything to do with her after 5 minutes with her and sent us to another hospital that specializes in children with special needs. I took her to this hospital from that age till she was 5 years old, after this they sent her to a normal school but with a statement of special educational needs. Alarna went through school, and I suppose I did too with the knowlege that the hospital gave us that she had ADD, which I now know is not the same, nothing at all was mentioned about Aspergers Syndrome. I have read abit about it today from bits and bobs on the Internet, I am wondering if any of you guys know anything at all about it??? If so would you mind sharing with me your experiences.

Janice

[kygeographer 0]

Hey, I was diagnosed with Aspergers in 8th grade (I think I was 14 then?). PM me, and I'll tell you anything you'd want to know about it, or at least who could help you get a better answwer if I don't know!

[Fuzzness 2]

Janice,

Karen works very closely with many Aspergers children. I am sure she will answer any questions you might have about it. She knows TONS about it and is very good with dealing with aspergers children

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Hi Janice

My husband has Aspergers he is 42. PM me with any questions...

(((((hugs)))))

Kezzie

[arwensun1965 0]

Thank you for you answers, I am just somewhat confuse by it all, what the special needs coordinator wrote about Alarna was spot on, it is difficult to get one's head round something like this when you have been told something very different. They even at one point put Alarna on retalin (not quite sure of the spelling) but I thought No way and took her off them again. Alarna is so good with the computer, very quick, she can do over 90 words a minute. Anyone who looks at her sees a normal happy young adult, it is when they are with her for a longer period of time that the troubles begin. Alarna had a problem with bullying at the college just a couple of weeks ago and this is just one of the letters I have received from the college after I threatened them with the police and the Disability act (which I read out to them over the phone like the riot act) Things have calmed down since then and the college now seem to be helping instead of hindering.

Janice

[Welshcookie 17]

My son is 19 now and we finally got a DX of Aspergers when he was 12...Having a Statement of Special Educational Needs is important....which you already have. From my experience schools and colleges are lacking in knowledge in dealing with AS....I took my son out of the educational system at the age of 14 when all his school could offer him was a trailer away from everyone else so he could sit and read. If you want to PM me please feel free.......

[JayJay 4]

Hiya!

Not something to worry about in terms of anything "degrading" etc. I can also put a post in here funnily enough as it's SO misunderstood! And thank goodness someone else here has been diagnosed because if you just heard of it as a "condition", you'd probably think you could tell if a person had Asbergers, when really, you can't at all most of the time. It's so subtle

Basically Asbergers is thought to be a very mild version of autism, or autism related condition that has the following syptoms - and as I said, it's a really subtle thing so it might take me a while to explain:

Sufferers often feel a little *different* at school or while playing with children of their own ages when they're young. *Different* in terms of not connecting to other kids, like they're all the same color yellow lego block and you are a big red duplo block - you know, you just don't fit.

So when you talk to the kids often you're sporting a pretty ginormous IQ in certain areas as well, be that speech, or math and people in your class might consider you a bit wierd. Basically I suppose, you do do things differently. If you're good at speech, you use enormous words as a matter of course in your speech, without a second though whilst others are left feeling confused in your wake. Or you might invent huge math problems and then solve them on pieces of paper. Or perhaps start painting and then paint every single little tree in a wood, and not stop until every branch of every tree with every leaf on it in every individual position was finished.

Now the other thing I suppose, in big terms would be emotional attachment, and this is REALLY hard to explain.

Asbergers sufferes are loving. They feel love, fear, sadness and pain just like anyone else, only the ways they experience, quantify, and qualify their pain or sadness can be completely different. For example when a sufferer is afraid he or she might become very confused as well, and not quite know how to handle that. (Strange description) The best way I can explain this would be like this:

When a non-Asbergers person feels pain they quantify it as a big entire feeling, all fuzzy around the edges and which feels a certain way in certain parts of their body

When a person with Asbergers feels pain, they feel it like blocks together, making up the pain. This block feels like this, this block is affecting the way I think, this block is affecting my speech, this block is affecting my vision. It is disorienting because you lose a sense of your faculties being intact and "efficient". You feel "Malfunctional" and on top of that and the incident that has made you feel THAT way, you feel frustrated with yourself for malfunctioning.

Hard to express eh? But people with Asbergers feel love as well. It's just that with all of this, it's kind of "taken apart" by the mind differently.

I don't know how others feel about this but I also think that people who have Asbergers really analyze something more than someone who doesn't. Not over-analyzing, per se, rather just breaking everything down into it's component factors perhaps a bit like a vulcan in Star Trek (hehe - though not the whole "repressed emotion" think...rather the "that is illogical, Captain!" factor). You look at someone or something and break everything up into bits, then process it.

The problems that people with Asbergers can get very sad about are usually perople related, I'd say. Objects are there for the "cracking", but human beings - well, they're another kettle of fish altogether - and hardly any of them are as logical as you, the person with Asbergers! They cannot be quantified, qualified, taken apart or analysed and none of the behavioral patters can be accurately predicted either. You tell a joke which might seem logically funny to you, for example, and make a girl cry and it's like "what?". Which then makes you embarrassed, malfuction and feel really, really out of place.

It can be really hard to be in love because when you love someone, you want to understand them in a completely different was as a person with Asbergers. It's important because you want to be able to relate perfectly to them, and match this "alien" person for whom you have so much admiration and softness in the center of your chest. Understanding is a very important and exhausting task for you then - very exhausting.

Then if you have children you have to get to know them as well as kind of other "alien" beings who all need to be understood seperately as well. But through it all, you're still the big red duplo block in the midst of these little yellow blocks. And that can bring about depression, feelings of iscolation and worthlessness sometimes, which is sad.

But it's not all that bad either really - a person with Asbergers can have extraordinary and perfect talent as well. Really quite amazing talent actually, and while they may be described as "eccentric", there's nothing harmful about it, it's really a very self-iscolating position to find oneself in. Yes, you're eccentric but guess what...you have really got a unique daughter, believe me! Just make sure she knows she's accepted as the person she is, because no matter what, she'll probably always feel 100% completely different than everyone else. But feeling different isn't necessarily the polar opposite of fitting in...or at least it doesn't have to be!

Hopefully this random description kind of gives you a little bit of insight. I don't know. I was also a "child who felt different" and have always known it. One of my parents has Asbergers, but you wouldn't know it Came through in me a little bit - just enoguh to throw me out of line slightly lol! It takes a long while to understand yourself, let alone other people. I'd say the best way to put it would be to say that people with Asbergers syndrome are normal, just like other people, but that they run things through their heads and understand things differently. Nothing wrong with that, is there Hope your daughter is doing fine

[Welshcookie 17]

There is a very useful and supportive forum I used to visit....I will send you a link tomorrow ( I am on my fiances PC right now)....

[arwensun1965 0]

Thank you welshcookie that will be useful and ty Jay for the insight, not qutie sure if you meant aspergers or asbergers (wondering if they are two different things???) but the discription I think is the same?

Janice

[Welshcookie 17]

Hiya!

I don't know how others feel about this but I also think that people who have Asbergers really analyze something more than someone who doesn't. Not over-analyzing, per se, rather just breaking everything down into it's component factors perhaps a bit like a vulcan in Star Trek (hehe - though not the whole "repressed emotion" think...rather the "that is illogical, Captain!" factor). You look at someone or something and break everything up into bits, then process it.

I have had MANY conversations where my son takes the literal view on what I say....they often have great difficulty discerning sarcasm/humour etc.............

[kygeographer 0]

Hiya!

I don't know how others feel about this but I also think that people who have Asbergers really analyze something more than someone who doesn't. Not over-analyzing, per se, rather just breaking everything down into it's component factors perhaps a bit like a vulcan in Star Trek (hehe - though not the whole "repressed emotion" think...rather the "that is illogical, Captain!" factor). You look at someone or something and break everything up into bits, then process it.

I have had MANY conversations where my son takes the literal view on what I say....they often have great difficulty discerning sarcasm/humour etc.............

I've done the same thing numerous times.. it really boggles the people around me. Though, once I explained having AS to some of my friends, it all made sense. Lots of people with AS don't read emotions very well, and really aren't sure what to do in certain situations, which can, a lot of times give the impression that we're insensitive, or what not.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

My husband has great dificulty dealing with change... he hates it when I move something from the place he thinks it should live.....

He is (in his mind) always right.... and can not understand when someone disagrees with him...

One thing I know is very real and very deep is his love for me... Yes he is hard to live with.... yes we have our problems.... but he is the man I love.....

Kezzie

[JayJay 4]

Lol yep I meant Aspergers of course, but am having a kind of brain-fart day I finally am going to be full time in my new job on Monday and this was the last day for training, so I had to cram...heh!

Anyway I just posted something extremely rude in another post entitles something like "Rude Horoscopes" by Jaylen so if you can stand a few extreme swear words and genuinely want to be shocked into laughing your pants off, go look. If not, do NOT READ WHAT I ATTACHED! For God's sakes - seriously it's the rudest thing I've ever posted so if you're prone to being offended at words beginning in "f" and the like, don't. But then again, I didn't actually originally make it....

*runs away now* Weeee....

[kygeographer 0]

Thank you for you answers, I am just somewhat confuse by it all, what the special needs coordinator wrote about Alarna was spot on, it is difficult to get one's head round something like this when you have been told something very different. They even at one point put Alarna on retalin (not quite sure of the spelling) but I thought No way and took her off them again. Alarna is so good with the computer, very quick, she can do over 90 words a minute. Anyone who looks at her sees a normal happy young adult, it is when they are with her for a longer period of time that the troubles begin. Alarna had a problem with bullying at the college just a couple of weeks ago and this is just one of the letters I have received from the college after I threatened them with the police and the Disability act (which I read out to them over the phone like the riot act) Things have calmed down since then and the college now seem to be helping instead of hindering.

Janice

That's something I've also encountered a lot. Before I was diagnosed, the staff at my school had no idea what the hell to do with me. They saw me as a "troublemaker", and eventually led to me being sent to the alternative school. Conversely, had I not been sent there, I most likely would not have been diagnosed at all. Once I'd been diagnosed, though, everything started making sense. Disability services at any school can be a big help. I wish my parents would have been as supportive as you. Once I was diagnosed, they didn't really seem to "read up" on AS, or try to make any adjustments to how they reacted to my behaviour.. it was my "problem", and I needed to "adjust" and stop making "excuses" for acting differently. I guess they saw it as a crutch I was using. So, kudos, Janice for trying to get information on it!

[arwensun1965 0]

Yes i read it ...lmao very funny...it cheered me up no end

Janice