PLEASE READ!!! VERY DISAPPOINTED!

[Fandango 1,440]

Ok now I've read the whole thing

Well, I did not post the comment that the person sent me, because I am not going to point fingers at anyone. Most of you have been a BIG help to me and my fiancé. We all get a little stressed when it comes to something we want SOON. I'm not mad at anyone. So no worries there. I just felt that I should let some of you know not to be so rough on people. If I'm going to pick on someone, it's as a joke, and I say that I am joking. I love to have fun, and I also have a sense of humor. And occasional CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is ok. I don't mind at all. But no need it treat some as if they do not belong. Remember, we're all here for the same reason.

Ok, now I'm a bit annoyed.

If 'most' have been nice...what's the dealio with A WHOLE THREAD about how DISAPPOINTED YOU ARE? From the way I see the thread, you took umbrage at 2 or 3 people. So pm them instead of making this whole spectacle....and if you honestly thought that was rude...omG you need to grow a thicker skin & adjust your expectations.

Oh, I'm not worried if you're mad at anyone...If you're mad, on your bike then! Meanwhile, I find it so funny that you're 'not going to point fingers' yet you started a public temper tantrum thread instead of handling it privately. Yet you even admit most here have been V helpful. But then you say we're rude, yet your fiance is calling people pricks. Nice. Pricks who just so happened to try to answer your question, yet they're pricks because they weren't all rainbows and lollies...Respect is a two way street, and while your responses MAY have been a touch sarcastic, they didn't resort to namecalling, like your fiance's did.

Things that make you go hrmmmm....

You cut off the rest of what I said, of course I know that reading the guides is a very smart idea. But should people be made to feel that it is obligatory before they can post? And if we all really feel so strongly about it, maybe we should make it more than just "Please consider reading the guides before posting."

It's in big font, it's in bold. Part is underlined. IT'S HOTLINKED TO THE FAQs AND GUIDES. It's got a smiley that says . Are you saying that's not enough?

[Cristy 4]

Oh, I'm not worried if you're mad at anyone...If you're mad, on your bike then

The part above where you post that says "Please consider reading the FAQ's and Guides before posting" is really hard to understand.

[Movin on New Life 3]

Cant we all just get along......(Rodney King)

Didn't work for Rodney what makes you think it will work here

LOL or was it Don King

Im thinking Rodney

Many will recall the plaintive call of Rodney King, the man whose vicious beating by members of ... Mr. King cried out, “Why can’t we all just get along?

WOW...OUCH... this seems to be the second or third upset, hurt posting... hope this isnt going to be a pattern.. VJers have been very supportive and yes we all make mistakes in our words at times.. but hopefully it can be water under the bridge... the only thing that comes to mind for me right now is to remind ...we all had to crawl before we walked... I agree... many times fustration hurt depression loneliness and having no control can make us feel helpless.. feelings get hurt more easily, and we can become inpatient, abrubt or seemingly rude... I am sure it is not meant intentionally here... Give things another try.

Good luck to ALL

[nayalamb 0]

i am really tired of threads dedicated to how horrible everyone else is. people SHOULD be nice, but this is a board, not friendster or whatever. we are all going through frustrating situations so a little patience and understanding on ALL sides would be nice. and "senior member" doesn't mean sh*t. you could post " " a few times and get to that stage.

i was frustrated and bitchy today after dealing with some dumb a$$ civil surgeons. and you know what?

i PM'ed a VJer in my area for help. she not only gave me a tip on a doctor that was not a total lame a$$, she gave me advice on getting my license. she went out of her way to help my dumb a$$ regain some sanity.

ppl like her MORE than make up for any "pricks" that get snippy from time to time.

and that is why VJ rocks!

[rebeccajo 14]

Time out, people.

There's a load of us here that try to offer help and have stuck around long after the initial steps of our journey have been completed. Anybody who thinks we do that for any other reason than to pay back the advice first given to us is shortsighted.

Everybody will get to their goal in different ways. I've always believed in being accountable for my knowledge and so I'm an advocate of research before asking questions.

I'll say this with absolute certainty, and I think ALL in this thread will agree with me. This forum is an INVALUABLE resourse and I personally don't know what I would have done without it.

I think a bit of gratitude might be in order here. On everybody's part.

You can sift through VJ however you like. Ignore the posts of some if you choose. Find friends and find answers. However you slice it, there are no more resources for this journey anywhere on the web.

I'm sticking around. I'll try to help when I can. I'll ask questions because I know that the further I go down this road, I'll have more. And I'll be happy for the answers I get, even if they aren't right on my schedule or said the way I prefer.

And I'm gonna pretty damn grateful for it.

Edited June 20, 2006 by rebeccajo

[*Robert* 2]

This is the third great post you've made in this thread becca! It's people like you who make this board special, and people should listen to what you're saying.

I certainly try to help people when I can too, even if it means answering the same questions over and over again. That's what "cut and paste" is for!

I too feel like it's a way of giving back. This board is valuable asset for anyone going through the immigration process. It also has members from every walk of life, religion, and culture. It is not expected that everyone get along. They can't even do that at the UN, how can we do it here?

If help is what you want, VJ guides and members are definitely the place to come. If you want to have a flame war... OT is the place to come! I try to save my outbursts for OT, rather than the working forums of VJ.

I'm no angel, but I do try my best to help out those who truly desire help.

[Ryan+Mandi 0]

What you people dont' seem to understand is that when people come to forums for the first time (in her case it's her first), people tend to overlook the common things that vets like us don't. Where is your understanding level? Don't you ever remember of being new and posting questions that have been answered or getting pissed at small things?

Oh, I'm not worried if you're mad at anyone...If you're mad, on your bike then! Meanwhile, I find it so funny that you're 'not going to point fingers' yet you started a public temper tantrum thread instead of handling it privately. Yet you even admit most here have been V helpful. But then you say we're rude, yet your fiance is calling people pricks. Nice. Pricks who just so happened to try to answer your question, yet they're pricks because they weren't all rainbows and lollies...Respect is a two way street, and while your responses MAY have been a touch sarcastic, they didn't resort to namecalling, like your fiance's did.

Excuse me. Who were the people that labelled her 'idotic', 'stupid'. I suggest you do your research before posting garbage like that. Also where is your understanding level. She came here for help and was talked rudely to? Some people take it rudely, some might now. Yeah there is a PM system, but when people are new, do you really expect them to use all the tools/resources necessary to communicate their feelings. NO! Why did I call people pricks? Simply because of the fact there this is a 'helpful' forum and what is she getting? Seriously. I was referring to the pricks who talked rudely, not to everyone. Again, your generalization of people lacks basis.

All points considered, I'm saying cut her some slack. She's telling me "ryan what is this, I come here for help and people are calling me an "attention #######"? How do you think that makes me feel. Not just because she's my fiancee but also because she's a person requesting for help. I will tell her all the resources needed to search on and the correct posting guidelines, but I also suggest that the people who did talk rudely to her, to PM her privately about this and let this thread die. I'm not happy at all at the way people treat noobs. Gosh man.

[aussiewench 9]

[munchkins 0]

Time out, people.

There's a load of us here that try to offer help and have stuck around long after the initial steps of our journey have been completed. Anybody who thinks we do that for any other reason than to pay back the advice first given to us is shortsighted.

Everybody will get to their goal in different ways. I've always believed in being accountable for my knowledge and so I'm an advocate of research before asking questions.

I'll say this with absolute certainty, and I think ALL in this thread will agree with me. This forum is an INVALUABLE resourse and I personally don't know what I would have done without it.

I think a bit of gratitude might be in order here. On everybody's part.

You can sift through VJ however you like. Ignore the posts of some if you choose. Find friends and find answers. However you slice it, there are no more resources for this journey anywhere on the web.

I'm sticking around. I'll try to help when I can. I'll ask questions because I know that the further I go down this road, I'll have more. And I'll be happy for the answers I get, even if they aren't right on my schedule or said the way I prefer.

And I'm gonna pretty damn grateful for it.

As Roi says Becca another good post, and yes, I think it should now be time out and if anyone wants to continue to go to OT

I for one will be eternally grateful to so many people on this board who have helped me get this far, not easy when there are only two couples at the moment going through the IR-1 as parents.

I have read a few posts on here that yes, have got negative/nasty but if you don't want to join in you don't have to, bit like a TV set, there is an off button

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Generally those that respond negatively with how much longer they have waited than you, are griping in a different thread about how they have to wait longer than someone else. Point to remember there is always someone else with a longer time line than you, and most of us "senior members" never respond with things like STFU I have been at this even longer. So you got a smart arce remark from one or two people, that doesn't make the whole of VJ like this. Trust me many times I would like to make a snippy remark to people b*tching about how long they have had to wait, one who has waited 3 months IMO has no reason to belittle someone who is only 17 days into it point is they are in the same boat as you and me no matter how long we have waited.

Seventeen months into my process for various reasons, so take a word of advice relax and try to be patient, it will all happen in time. IMBRA has just tossed a curve ball into the process and it will soon enough be sorted out, this has got people a little Picced off and rude remarks are going to fly because of it. Hang in there and a speedy journey for you.

B

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

What doesn't kill you...makes you stonger...

[Fandango 1,440]

What you people dont' seem to understand is that when people come to forums for the first time (in her case it's her first), people tend to overlook the common things that vets like us don't. Where is your understanding level? Don't you ever remember of being new and posting questions that have been answered or getting pissed at small things?

Oh, I'm not worried if you're mad at anyone...If you're mad, on your bike then! Meanwhile, I find it so funny that you're 'not going to point fingers' yet you started a public temper tantrum thread instead of handling it privately. Yet you even admit most here have been V helpful. But then you say we're rude, yet your fiance is calling people pricks. Nice. Pricks who just so happened to try to answer your question, yet they're pricks because they weren't all rainbows and lollies...Respect is a two way street, and while your responses MAY have been a touch sarcastic, they didn't resort to namecalling, like your fiance's did.

Excuse me. Who were the people that labelled her 'idotic', 'stupid'. I suggest you do your research before posting garbage like that. Also where is your understanding level. She came here for help and was talked rudely to? Some people take it rudely, some might now. Yeah there is a PM system, but when people are new, do you really expect them to use all the tools/resources necessary to communicate their feelings. NO! Why did I call people pricks? Simply because of the fact there this is a 'helpful' forum and what is she getting? Seriously. I was referring to the pricks who talked rudely, not to everyone. Again, your generalization of people lacks basis.

All points considered, I'm saying cut her some slack. She's telling me "ryan what is this, I come here for help and people are calling me an "attention #######"? How do you think that makes me feel. Not just because she's my fiancee but also because she's a person requesting for help. I will tell her all the resources needed to search on and the correct posting guidelines, but I also suggest that the people who did talk rudely to her, to PM her privately about this and let this thread die. I'm not happy at all at the way people treat noobs. Gosh man.

fwiw, I didn't see anyone labeling her 'idiotic' or 'stupid' YOu're so up in arms because she wasn't spoken to in a coddling fashion, yet look at you....calling people pricks. Are you leading by example?

You two want slack and that's fine....but I didn't see either of you cut VJ any when a tantrum-y VISAJOURNEY SUCKS thread (essentially) is made. I am very proud of the people here, and they go out of their way to help others....and if that's not good enough for you, then perhaps you two should go.....

Stay go I don't care...but if you think or expect ppl to wrap you both in cotton wool and talk to you like prince & princess, sorry, but it aint gonna happn. Sometimes the replies will not be what you wanna hear, sometimes they may be harsh, others may be totally empathetic, etc...get my drift? Souljah, you as a supposed message board pro should know this already...just because we talk about visas here doesn't make this one any different. However, I happen to think that this is one of the NICEST and MOST HELPFUL places around.

You ask for what you don't offer in return. You want slack...give us some. You want respect? Stop with the namecalling and give that too.

And Yes, you may not like my tone about it, but I'm not losing sleep over whether you or your fiance is MAD at anyone. There's a thing, called a door...and if you two find that you don't like it here...well don't let it hit you on the way out.

That being said, best of luck on your journey

[Peggy 1]

Time to let this thread go to rest.

[gimygirl 0]

[Sister Fracas 5]

I luv VJ