March 2009 K1 Filer

[viknkam 0]

I'm pissed! My timeline is not showing a tentative adjudication date. AGAIN! What the he-haw is going on? When and why won't our approval letter just come in the mail already! What the heck is the hold-up now? It has been 3 months, today. In 3 months the February people were warming beds and buying airfare for their SO's. Although it was great for them, why postpone out lives now USCIS? WHY?! I wish you all diarrhea, headaches, and a fever (my mother always told me to never wish upon others what I couldn't tolerate myself). So there... Anyone else frustrated? Is anyone else losing hope and feeling alone and helpless? Does anyone else feel that this is futile and that our lives and our breaths are numbered and that the days we spend without our SO's is one that doesn't seem like we have been alive? I am soo tired emotionally and physically from all of this. I was on a workout and diet regime, but now I feel like there is no hope. Am I the only one that can't see the rainbow and the end? I just don't see it... I'm sorry....

*hugs* I did feel that way until other approvals started coming in and then I got hopeful again. Things will happen. A lot of the recent approvals are about 95-105 days, so you are close! Take a deep breath, everything will work out!

A few more approvals and I'm sure the timelines will be back again, at least CSC is now moving after 2 months of nothing.

I'm sorry, but I am having a hard time here. I am having a hard time walking on pins and needles at work and having to keep a tough front. At work- I don't want to make any riffs or let on anything about my personal emotions. I have to up my game and perform bc I do not want my parents to co-sponser him. I don't want to give anyone any control or say in our relationship. We will accept their support, but quite frankly, its hard to be strong all the time. I'm really just exhausted.

As for the urgency - I'm going to India on the 28th for a week to do wedding shopping bc we are having a traditional Indian wedding here in the US- but what is the point when there is no way of knowing when he will be here? Originally, before the whole K1 deal, we were going to get married on the 4th of July in India. After filing, he said was going to join us and shop so we could spend time together, but now he doesn't want to compromise a week of being away from the UK and the letters for him arriving in the mail. I'm discouraged and not seeing the positive side of it all bc our letter has not come. Everyday we wait. He works for 12-18 hours a day under table bc he is on a student visa, which expires end of July. Where is the justice in that? He is a very well educated, well-adjusted, and balanced person working for pennies. His time is devoted to work, and his work is for survival. I'm sorry if you all have it rough, but when you only talk to your significant other when they are beat-down and tired and falling asleep on the phone for the past six months, then you start to lose hope. And I'm losing hope...

[Just Linda 0]

Hey everyone...I finally received my NOA2 yesterday and I'm so excited!! First March Filer Approved!!! I could not believe it when I opened my mailbox and there it was!!!!

I wish you all the same luck and great feeling!!!

Que felicidad!!! Im so happy for u, Im from Mexico too, so if u got it, that give me a lot of hopes to get mine...

Good for you guys, i wish u all the happiness.

Viva!!!!!!

[emmaline_g 2]

Sorry you're having a hard time viknkam but I don't think it will take too much longer. I have been waiting 3 months and blah blah (look at my sig) too.

I know it's hard because of the people getting approved in here, then you start to think, "where's mine?" and become upset.

And sorry your fiance is working so hard for nothing. So is mine.

It's hard for all of us... the not caring about working out, the finding it hard to put on a happy face at work... yes, me too.

I know how you feel but dwelling on the feelings won't help anyone least of all ourselves.

For what it's worth your wedding sounds cool... traditional Indian weddings sound amazing and intricate. That is truly something to look forward to no matter when it happens (I dont think it will take as long as you are worried about...) I know it makes stress but at least this huge celebration will be for you and him.

For what it's worth, #2, nobody gives a stuffing that I'm engaged in my country or my fiance's. I feel kind of ripped off, my one chance to be special you know and nobody cares... but if my fiance were here to hang out with that would be cool enough for me

Edited June 12, 2009 by emmaline_g

[thall9290 0]

Sorry you're having a hard time viknkam but I don't think it will take too much longer. I have been waiting 3 months and blah blah (look at my sig) too.

I know it's hard because of the people getting approved in here, then you start to think, "where's mine?" and become upset.

And sorry your fiance is working so hard for nothing. So is mine.

It's hard for all of us... the not caring about working out, the finding it hard to put on a happy face at work... yes, me too.

I know how you feel but dwelling on the feelings won't help anyone least of all ourselves.

For what it's worth your wedding sounds cool... traditional Indian weddings sound amazing and intricate. That is truly something to look forward to no matter when it happens (I dont think it will take as long as you are worried about...) I know it makes stress but at least this huge celebration will be for you and him.

For what it's worth, #2, nobody gives a stuffing that I'm engaged in my country or my fiance's. I feel kind of ripped off, my one chance to be special you know and nobody cares... but if my fiance were here to hang out with that would be cool enough for me

I agree with you! I'm just thankful that 3 months has nearly already gone by. I spend my days thinking about the fact that the long wait to be together is almost over. It has been 2 years since i have seen my SO. Maybe I'm the minority here but I'm just happy that the process has started! I can't afford to let myself wallow in pity. Have to stay focused on the tasks that are yet to come. Will all be very worth it in the end.

As for no one giving a stuffing that your engaged. I have the same thing too. Totally know what you mean about feeling ripped off. Nothing you can do about it though. Just makes me feel closer to my SO.

Anyway, thats my two cents worth.

Wish everyone lots of luck.

[viknkam 0]

Sorry you're having a hard time viknkam but I don't think it will take too much longer. I have been waiting 3 months and blah blah (look at my sig) too.

I know it's hard because of the people getting approved in here, then you start to think, "where's mine?" and become upset.

And sorry your fiance is working so hard for nothing. So is mine.

It's hard for all of us... the not caring about working out, the finding it hard to put on a happy face at work... yes, me too.

I know how you feel but dwelling on the feelings won't help anyone least of all ourselves.

For what it's worth your wedding sounds cool... traditional Indian weddings sound amazing and intricate. That is truly something to look forward to no matter when it happens (I dont think it will take as long as you are worried about...) I know it makes stress but at least this huge celebration will be for you and him.

For what it's worth, #2, nobody gives a stuffing that I'm engaged in my country or my fiance's. I feel kind of ripped off, my one chance to be special you know and nobody cares... but if my fiance were here to hang out with that would be cool enough for me

I completely agree! It's almost like you are not engaged at all. Yes, of course there is that someone that you have met that vowed himself to you- but where are they? There's no party, no fun pre-martial period where you get to live it up. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy the period between the engagement and marriage, but how? Someone please explain to these dumb-nuts that a long-distance relationship is hard that no matter what phase you are in- it requires work. We don't get the rewards or perks that other couples do- and that is upsetting to me too.

[viknkam 0]

Sorry you're having a hard time viknkam but I don't think it will take too much longer. I have been waiting 3 months and blah blah (look at my sig) too.

I know it's hard because of the people getting approved in here, then you start to think, "where's mine?" and become upset.

And sorry your fiance is working so hard for nothing. So is mine.

It's hard for all of us... the not caring about working out, the finding it hard to put on a happy face at work... yes, me too.

I know how you feel but dwelling on the feelings won't help anyone least of all ourselves.

For what it's worth your wedding sounds cool... traditional Indian weddings sound amazing and intricate. That is truly something to look forward to no matter when it happens (I dont think it will take as long as you are worried about...) I know it makes stress but at least this huge celebration will be for you and him.

For what it's worth, #2, nobody gives a stuffing that I'm engaged in my country or my fiance's. I feel kind of ripped off, my one chance to be special you know and nobody cares... but if my fiance were here to hang out with that would be cool enough for me

I agree with you! I'm just thankful that 3 months has nearly already gone by. I spend my days thinking about the fact that the long wait to be together is almost over. It has been 2 years since i have seen my SO. Maybe I'm the minority here but I'm just happy that the process has started! I can't afford to let myself wallow in pity. Have to stay focused on the tasks that are yet to come. Will all be very worth it in the end.

As for no one giving a stuffing that your engaged. I have the same thing too. Totally know what you mean about feeling ripped off. Nothing you can do about it though. Just makes me feel closer to my SO.

Anyway, thats my two cents worth.

Wish everyone lots of luck.

Thanks! I couldn't imagine being apart for more than a few months. The last time I saw Vik was my birthday- March 3rd. The hardest thing is knowing that I will be so close him- a 8/9 hour plane ride and HE can make the effort to come see me and introduce me to his family and friends in India. I have been over to see him, but for a change- it is possible to spend that time that every couple should get before a marriage, and it might not happen. That has been making me very sad. I'm sorry, I'm grateful that I have him in my life, but with the USCIS there are no guarantees and nothing is certain. To fly from here to India is 23 hours, and for him to meet us there would be ideal. Worst case scenario, I would be able to see him and wait another few months knowing that he is real and to share the love that is soo hard to express over a phone call. I'm sure you all agree that if there was an opportunity to make your SO happy and smile, then you would do it- so then, how can I sit here and know that I do everything in my power, and he.... It's all unfair and I don't care if you all light candles or pray for the USCIS reviewers- I resent them. They have made my life hell and sucked the fun out of being apart. There isn't much more of this that I can endure. What is there to talk about anymore? Tell me?! The thing that is on our mind is - when will we be together? I feel like the Berlin wall is between us and we are fighting the battle that does not end. What I want to know is- will I at least be able to spend his birthday with him (September 25th)? I have maxed out my PTO days, and I can't travel much more if I want to be able to take time off for the wedding. I know I am sharing a lot with you all- and we have never met so please be patient with me, but who else would understand the frustrations of it all?

[thall9290 0]

Sorry you're having a hard time viknkam but I don't think it will take too much longer. I have been waiting 3 months and blah blah (look at my sig) too.

I know it's hard because of the people getting approved in here, then you start to think, "where's mine?" and become upset.

And sorry your fiance is working so hard for nothing. So is mine.

It's hard for all of us... the not caring about working out, the finding it hard to put on a happy face at work... yes, me too.

I know how you feel but dwelling on the feelings won't help anyone least of all ourselves.

For what it's worth your wedding sounds cool... traditional Indian weddings sound amazing and intricate. That is truly something to look forward to no matter when it happens (I dont think it will take as long as you are worried about...) I know it makes stress but at least this huge celebration will be for you and him.

For what it's worth, #2, nobody gives a stuffing that I'm engaged in my country or my fiance's. I feel kind of ripped off, my one chance to be special you know and nobody cares... but if my fiance were here to hang out with that would be cool enough for me

I agree with you! I'm just thankful that 3 months has nearly already gone by. I spend my days thinking about the fact that the long wait to be together is almost over. It has been 2 years since i have seen my SO. Maybe I'm the minority here but I'm just happy that the process has started! I can't afford to let myself wallow in pity. Have to stay focused on the tasks that are yet to come. Will all be very worth it in the end.

As for no one giving a stuffing that your engaged. I have the same thing too. Totally know what you mean about feeling ripped off. Nothing you can do about it though. Just makes me feel closer to my SO.

Anyway, thats my two cents worth.

Wish everyone lots of luck.

Thanks! I couldn't imagine being apart for more than a few months. The last time I saw Vik was my birthday- March 3rd. The hardest thing is knowing that I will be so close him- a 8/9 hour plane ride and HE can make the effort to come see me and introduce me to his family and friends in India. I have been over to see him, but for a change- it is possible to spend that time that every couple should get before a marriage, and it might not happen. That has been making me very sad. I'm sorry, I'm grateful that I have him in my life, but with the USCIS there are no guarantees and nothing is certain. To fly from here to India is 23 hours, and for him to meet us there would be ideal. Worst case scenario, I would be able to see him and wait another few months knowing that he is real and to share the love that is soo hard to express over a phone call. I'm sure you all agree that if there was an opportunity to make your SO happy and smile, then you would do it- so then, how can I sit here and know that I do everything in my power, and he.... It's all unfair and I don't care if you all light candles or pray for the USCIS reviewers- I resent them. They have made my life hell and sucked the fun out of being apart. There isn't much more of this that I can endure. What is there to talk about anymore? Tell me?! The thing that is on our mind is - when will we be together? I feel like the Berlin wall is between us and we are fighting the battle that does not end. What I want to know is- will I at least be able to spend his birthday with him (September 25th)? I have maxed out my PTO days, and I can't travel much more if I want to be able to take time off for the wedding. I know I am sharing a lot with you all- and we have never met so please be patient with me, but who else would understand the frustrations of it all?

We all had some idea of the process going into all of this. I guess I am better at handling it than others. This whole thing is just a process. Its what we have to do. How have the USCIS reviewers made your life a living hell? Have you had problems with them?

[John_Anna Marie 0]

I'm pissed! My timeline is not showing a tentative adjudication date. AGAIN! What the he-haw is going on? When and why won't our approval letter just come in the mail already! What the heck is the hold-up now? It has been 3 months, today. In 3 months the February people were warming beds and buying airfare for their SO's. Although it was great for them, why postpone out lives now USCIS? WHY?! I wish you all diarrhea, headaches, and a fever (my mother always told me to never wish upon others what I couldn't tolerate myself). So there... Anyone else frustrated? Is anyone else losing hope and feeling alone and helpless? Does anyone else feel that this is futile and that our lives and our breaths are numbered and that the days we spend without our SO's is one that doesn't seem like we have been alive? I am soo tired emotionally and physically from all of this. I was on a workout and diet regime, but now I feel like there is no hope. Am I the only one that can't see the rainbow and the end? I just don't see it... I'm sorry....

With out a doubt this is the a very frustrating thing. I think first off, that you cannot look at others getting approved. Your case is unique and is being processed. As someone who has already been on this journey since May of 2004. We waited over four years for her annulment case to get through the court and we only began the petition in March of this year. The last time we had seen each other was two years and 1 month ago.

This is not lost time in your relationship. I know you would give the world to be together. When you can't be it seems as if there is a giant hole in your life.... this is the nature of love. Like purifying gold and it is taken through the fire it becomes purer and purer with each firing. The same goes with your relationship. Is it easy no... not at all, but this is not an unending goal it does have a finish line it will end. With each day and moment that goes by you're one day closer to being together.

How have we survived the journey. Simple take each day as it comes and like any journey keep putting one foot in front of the other. Before you know it this will be over with and you'll be together. This is not just a HOPE but rather it's a promise. I can tell you, you will make it. Hang in there.

Edited June 13, 2009 by John_Anna Marie

[thall9290 0]

This is not lost time in your relationship. I know you would give the world to be together. When you can't be it seems as if there is a giant hole in your life.... this is the nature of love. Like purifying gold and it is taken through the fire it becomes purer and purer with each firing. The same goes with your relationship. Is it easy no... not at all, but this is not an unending goal it does have a finish line it will end. With each day and moment that goes by you're one day closer to being together.

How have we survived the journey. Simple take each day as it comes and like any journey keep putting one foot in front of the other. Before you know it this will be over with and you'll be together. This is not just a HOPE but rather it's a promise. I can tell you, you will make it. Hang in there.

very well said. I totally agree with your way of thinking

[Danu 19]

if nothing else this journey definately teaches us what is important and not to take things for granted. Each moment together is a blessing, and once we are done its one we wont take lightly. There will be so many things thrown at us during the relationship, but if we can survive this we can survive anything!!

[Saska+Tim 7]

if nothing else this journey definately teaches us what is important and not to take things for granted. Each moment together is a blessing, and once we are done its one we wont take lightly. There will be so many things thrown at us during the relationship, but if we can survive this we can survive anything!!

Absolutely agree!

Viknkam, Berlin wall dropped down, remember, and nothing last forever. I believe this waiting game is near to end.

Stay strong, dear. Remember, the only thing that you cant do is the one which you don't want to do.

It is not easy, but life isn't easy too.

Edited June 13, 2009 by Saska+Tim

[FrostyMist 1]

I came to the end of my tether with the waiting and being apart about three weeks back. I was despairing of the times I'd cried over webcam, and he'd had to sit there helpless with just words to comfort me. Life was difficult, and when we decided to make an unplanned trip to be together during the wait, we met so many obstacles (difficulties planning the trip) that I grew even more despairing.

I remember ranting about it here, and finding the replies and encouragement people gave to be a a great comfort. My guy is coming here in less than a week, and things in my life have quietened down a little in the meantime. (Although my dog-who was the deciding factor for his making another trip-is once again sick, and needs to be taken to the vet).

Don't think of the time you spend in your long distance relationship as being a waste. It's not. In my belief, this time apart has made my guy and I stronger, and has taught us a lot about each other. It's led us to appreciate each other and what we feel for each other, and it's led us to value being together much more than I think many people in non-long distance relationships do. Because all we have is words, it's taught us so much about communication. How to resolve worries and upset by talking, and how to be loving towards each other and still express how we feel with more than just a hug.

And, in the end, even what we have online is better than not having him at all.

Try to stay strong. Timelines are moving again, and I'm sure yours won't be too much longer.

Edited June 13, 2009 by FrostyMist

[Danu 19]

Your timeline is back too viknkam!

Based on timeline data, your I129f may be adjudicated between June 21, 2009 and June 26, 2009*.

[FrostyMist 1]

Mine's back too.

"Based on timeline data, your I129f may be adjudicated between July 2, 2009 and July 7, 2009*"

Yay!

[emmaline_g 2]

I agree with you! I'm just thankful that 3 months has nearly already gone by. I spend my days thinking about the fact that the long wait to be together is almost over. It has been 2 years since i have seen my SO. Maybe I'm the minority here but I'm just happy that the process has started! I can't afford to let myself wallow in pity. Have to stay focused on the tasks that are yet to come. Will all be very worth it in the end.

As for no one giving a stuffing that your engaged. I have the same thing too. Totally know what you mean about feeling ripped off. Nothing you can do about it though. Just makes me feel closer to my SO.

thall9290 and viknkam, I'm glad you understand how I feel! You both said things that I've complained about (both in my diary and, unfortunately for whoever was nearby, out loud ) in the last 2 years and it really makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one with these exact thoughts!

thall, if you are in the minority I am as well about being happy that the process started! I was engaged for 2 years before I filed the papers this year. There were so many variables I had to take care of in my life and it was so much pressure on me. Now that I've started the process, all the blame for slowness goes to the USCIS. Haha take that USCIS! I think we've been waiting longer just to file, then we will wait for the process to finish!

viknkam I heard someone describe long distance relationships as "all of the responsibility, none of the fun" and that's definitely what it feels like to me. HOWEVER I am stockpiling my "fun chips" and getting ready to cash them in ok My friends do not understand why I can't do the same things I did when I was single, and it infuriates me, it's like they don't know I'm engaged, or they think the engagement is not real. They don't respect the seriousness of engagement, they don't have a comparable responsibility in their lives and it makes me feel frustrated. I don't know.. :]

Oh our timelines ARE back mine says between June 11 and June 15. haha I won't hold my breath but if it happens, great

I came home yesterday and all that was in my mailbox was a junk mail pamphlet about crystals. I screamed.