Need help ppl! Calling all of you from "T" countries

[ABENITEZ 0]

Ok, long story short. Been with my guy for 4 years, hes from pak, met him online when he lived in England to study. Went 3 times to England to meet him, went to Pak in November for wedding. His mom knows, his one brother knows. His other brother, sister, father and family n friends are NOT AWARE of this relationship. I know it sounds bad, but because of his conservative family, we decided not to tell them until he got his visa, so maybe they would understand better. This is NOT a fraud marriage, but after reading EVERYTHING on VJ, I realized how bad this looks. Wedding pics only have us n his mom, brother and couple friends, they look so bad now that I think abt it. My question is, what is the chances they will ask about the pics? Will they ask abt his family knowing abt the relationship? How do we answer? It is pretty much out of the question, but do I try to persuade him to have another wedding, with everyone aware, let the cat out of the bag? Im trying to decide whats more important now, chances of getting refused or upsetting his family? How do I prepare for all this? Please don't ask why we didn't tell his family, his dad had a stroke, and hes sick, and his family wouldn't understand. I know alotz of u have experience with all this so I'm begging for ideas. If we decide we cant tell his family, what do we say in the interview? I've heard horror stories of FIELD INVESTIGATIONS and such. With the grace of ALLAH you will all pitch in and advise me, I'm alone, helpless, confused and lost. Thank you....

[R de la R 2]

Ok, long story short. Been with my guy for 4 years, hes from pak, met him online when he lived in England to study. Went 3 times to England to meet him, went to Pak in November for wedding. His mom knows, his one brother knows. His other brother, sister, father and family n friends are NOT AWARE of this relationship. I know it sounds bad, but because of his conservative family, we decided not to tell them until he got his visa, so maybe they would understand better. This is NOT a fraud marriage, but after reading EVERYTHING on VJ, I realized how bad this looks. Wedding pics only have us n his mom, brother and couple friends, they look so bad now that I think abt it. My question is, what is the chances they will ask about the pics? Will they ask abt his family knowing abt the relationship? How do we answer? It is pretty much out of the question, but do I try to persuade him to have another wedding, with everyone aware, let the cat out of the bag? Im trying to decide whats more important now, chances of getting refused or upsetting his family? How do I prepare for all this? Please don't ask why we didn't tell his family, his dad had a stroke, and hes sick, and his family wouldn't understand. I know alotz of u have experience with all this so I'm begging for ideas. If we decide we cant tell his family, what do we say in the interview? I've heard horror stories of FIELD INVESTIGATIONS and such. With the grace of ALLAH you will all pitch in and advise me, I'm alone, helpless, confused and lost. Thank you....

yes, they go thru FIELD INVESTIGATION and they don't say that they work for the Consulate or anything related to the Embassy they say that they are doing the investigation for a job that the person applied for. Yes, it was a bad decision to keep that in secret.

[Ban Hammer 13,570]

pakistan isn't part of the mena forum

moved from mena to Asia: South

which Includes Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka.

[Sandrila 1]

ok right off the bat..you got pix? GOOD!

I can understand you have reasons for witholding that information from his family. You have the right to disclose it as you see fit. Although it is not good to lie and they "may" be able to question people further if you dont have "enough" sufficient proof to validate your relationship.

You can tell them that of course his family knows and supports. The only reason that those in the pix were there was because they could be there the others had legitimate reasons why were absent for a variety of reasons. I dont think the consulate is going to far with questioning about every single family member or even friends for that matter.

My family back home was completely unaware that I had married or that we were going thru the visa process. They didnt ask him anything about the approval of his or my family about our relationship or marriage.

If they ask, answer accordingly. You have proof of your marriage and the important people in his family were there.

It is so easy to get hung up on little details and worry about what is to come as far as interrogation but try to relax.

Rehearse your information. The important thing is that you both answer with the SAME responses, not differently.

Good Luck!

Edited March 3, 2009 by sandrila

[JeanneVictoria 55]

ok right off the bat..you got pix? GOOD!

I can understand you have reasons for witholding that information from his family. You have the right to disclose it as you see fit. Although it is not good to lie and they "may" be able to question people further if you dont have "enough" sufficient proof to validate your relationship.

You can tell them that of course his family knows and supports. The only reason that those in the pix were there was because they could be there the others had legitimate reasons why were absent for a variety of reasons. I dont think the consulate is going to far with questioning about every single family member or even friends for that matter.

My family back home was completely unaware that I had married or that we were going thru the visa process. They didnt ask him anything about the approval of his or my family about our relationship or marriage.

My husband had a home visit from the Embassy. They asked his father and uncle if they APPROVED of our marriage. His uncle just happened to be visiting. They asked how long had they known me, did we have a wedding party, was I allowed to go out of the apartment by myself and how many times had I been to Egypt. Maybe it is just done in Egypt, however, there are some here on VJ also from Egypt who had home visits. Don't assume anything. You never know what the Embassy will or will not do. And this home visit was AFTER his visa interview.

Also, they asked the shop owners if they knew where Wael lived, did they know me, had they seen me out by myself or with Wael and did Wael's parents know me!

I would be very cautious as you don't want to jepordize any chance of not getting your visa.

If it was me I would not keep it a secret.

If they ask, answer accordingly. You have proof of your marriage and the important people in his family were there.

It is so easy to get hung up on little details and worry about what is to come as far as interrogation but try to relax.

Rehearse your information. The important thing is that you both answer with the SAME responses, not differently.

Good Luck!

[Revived 0]

Ok, long story short. Been with my guy for 4 years, hes from pak, met him online when he lived in England to study. Went 3 times to England to meet him, went to Pak in November for wedding. His mom knows, his one brother knows. His other brother, sister, father and family n friends are NOT AWARE of this relationship. I know it sounds bad, but because of his conservative family, we decided not to tell them until he got his visa, so maybe they would understand better. This is NOT a fraud marriage, but after reading EVERYTHING on VJ, I realized how bad this looks. Wedding pics only have us n his mom, brother and couple friends, they look so bad now that I think abt it. My question is, what is the chances they will ask about the pics? Will they ask abt his family knowing abt the relationship? How do we answer? It is pretty much out of the question, but do I try to persuade him to have another wedding, with everyone aware, let the cat out of the bag? Im trying to decide whats more important now, chances of getting refused or upsetting his family? How do I prepare for all this? Please don't ask why we didn't tell his family, his dad had a stroke, and hes sick, and his family wouldn't understand. I know alotz of u have experience with all this so I'm begging for ideas. If we decide we cant tell his family, what do we say in the interview? I've heard horror stories of FIELD INVESTIGATIONS and such. With the grace of ALLAH you will all pitch in and advise me, I'm alone, helpless, confused and lost. Thank you....

r u a desi marrying a desi? or non-desi marrying a desi?

desi=both r orginally from Pakistan?

beneficary is a male?

Edited March 3, 2009 by Revived

[ABENITEZ 0]

Ok, long story short. Been with my guy for 4 years, hes from pak, met him online when he lived in England to study. Went 3 times to England to meet him, went to Pak in November for wedding. His mom knows, his one brother knows. His other brother, sister, father and family n friends are NOT AWARE of this relationship. I know it sounds bad, but because of his conservative family, we decided not to tell them until he got his visa, so maybe they would understand better. This is NOT a fraud marriage, but after reading EVERYTHING on VJ, I realized how bad this looks. Wedding pics only have us n his mom, brother and couple friends, they look so bad now that I think abt it. My question is, what is the chances they will ask about the pics? Will they ask abt his family knowing abt the relationship? How do we answer? It is pretty much out of the question, but do I try to persuade him to have another wedding, with everyone aware, let the cat out of the bag? Im trying to decide whats more important now, chances of getting refused or upsetting his family? How do I prepare for all this? Please don't ask why we didn't tell his family, his dad had a stroke, and hes sick, and his family wouldn't understand. I know alotz of u have experience with all this so I'm begging for ideas. If we decide we cant tell his family, what do we say in the interview? I've heard horror stories of FIELD INVESTIGATIONS and such. With the grace of ALLAH you will all pitch in and advise me, I'm alone, helpless, confused and lost. Thank you....

r u a desi marrying a desi? or non-desi marrying a desi?

desi=both r orginally from Pakistan?

beneficary is a male?

I am american (white) girl, he is paki boy

[MaryandMian 1]

I already addressed part of this in the Islamabad thread. I am going to be honest and you really need to provide evidence and think about what I am going to bring up.

Ok, long story short. Been with my guy for 4 years, hes from pak, met him online when he lived in England to study. Went 3 times to England to meet him, went to Pak in November for wedding.

I had told you a small wedding would not be an issue but the next quotation will be an issue that I am talking about and will bring up some questions for you to ponder.

His mom knows, his one brother knows. His other brother, sister, father and family n friends are NOT AWARE of this relationship.

This is a big red flag and family is such a big deal to Desi families. Almost all Gora/Desi marriages do have a field investigor check out the marriage for validity. I already posted my experience and you know Kris, Sibtain and others have had one too.

Some Desi's that marry outside their caste are not recognized by their family later and considered deceased/disowned by their families. Some Desi's in the past have a Desi wife already in Pakistan and live two lives one in US and one in Paksitan. It does happen. What is going to happen if his Dad does not agree? I have been on VJ for several years and known three friends here get phone calls from the CO that their husband/finance is already married to another in Pakistan.

I know it sounds bad, but because of his conservative family, we decided not to tell them until he got his visa, so maybe they would understand better. This is NOT a fraud marriage, but after reading EVERYTHING on VJ, I realized how bad this looks. Wedding pics only have us n his mom, brother and couple friends, they look so bad now that I think abt it. My question is, what is the chances they will ask about the pics?

They will ask for pictures about the engagement/wedding. I already told you that you will need to provide them to the CO when you interview.

Will they ask abt his family knowing abt the relationship? How do we answer?

Honestly, or it is misrepresntation if he lies and he could be found inadmissible for the visa (lifetime ban).

It is pretty much out of the question, but do I try to persuade him to have another wedding, with everyone aware, let the cat out of the bag? Im trying to decide whats more important now, chances of getting refused or upsetting his family? How do I prepare for all this? Please don't ask why we didn't tell his family, his dad had a stroke, and hes sick, and his family wouldn't understand. I know alotz of u have experience with all this so I'm begging for ideas. If we decide we cant tell his family, what do we say in the interview? I've heard horror stories of FIELD INVESTIGATIONS and such. With the grace of ALLAH you will all pitch in and advise me, I'm alone, helpless, confused and lost. Thank you....

Having another wedding could happen afterwards because if you have one now the dates will not match and I am sure his Dad would want/need to sign the Nikkah Nama. I think he needs to come clean with the family if he does not want to hurt his chances at the interview or afterwards with a field investigation. If you tell them it is hidden at the interview I would think they could possibly deny the visa. Being honest is always the best policy and keeping it hidden has opened a can of worms.

[merijan 0]

My husband is from Pakistan , he eventually went to UK for student visa , and that is where I met him in person and we filed after that . Our AP was less than two weeks. And I dont remember any one going to his home and asking questions but maybe they did without us knowing. Anyway his family knew all about us. We did not have an engagement party or anything , just pics of us in London. So I am not sure what will be the outcome at the interview. Maybe because we did it in UK it was easier.

[Revived 0]

My husband is from Pakistan , he eventually went to UK for student visa , and that is where I met him in person and we filed after that . Our AP was less than two weeks. And I dont remember any one going to his home and asking questions but maybe they did without us knowing. Anyway his family knew all about us. We did not have an engagement party or anything , just pics of us in London. So I am not sure what will be the outcome at the interview. Maybe because we did it in UK it was easier.

Yours might b different cuz you applied for K-1 not marriage visa.

since u r a non desi.. field investigation is almost guranteed for you!

my advise - listen to mary:P)

[ABENITEZ 0]

Thanks guys, he's going home this weekend to talk to his mom abt all this...we got in a fight abt it today. At first I understood his situation, but now ppl here even my own friends r telling me it seems so sketchy, if it is to them it deffinetely will be to an immigration officer. I don't want to put him or his family in an awkward position, but honestly, we need this visa, its our last hope of being together as we've run out of options. Thanks for all advise,, duas

[2ond journey 0]

Hello, My husband and I just recently went through the visa process in Islamabad. It took us from January 2008 till November 2008 to finish the process. We had many red flags in our case. I am white he is paki. Great age gap. Different religions. Not only is he from Pakistan but he comes from Swat which to my knowledge is a very hard place to get someone a visa.

At the interview the consulate asked him maybe 3 questions. Didnt look at his evidence at all. No field investigation. Six weeks later he got the visa. The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial.

In our case his family did know everything about the marraige and so did all his village. Once you let the "cat out of the bag" not only does his family know but everybody will know. It kind of puts them in a situation where thier reputation not only him, but his family gets put on the line. In the case of my husband, when everybody found out they told him " Oh she is from america and she will leave you" blah blah blah. What if I had left him, I asked him. He said " No father in his village would of given his daughter to him. Which was fine with him but maybe others would not want to take that chance.

I'm not saying that fits your situation I am just telling you what my husband has told me. Reputation and a good name means everything to Pakistani's. If family doesn't except a marraige and disown's you that is the worse thing for them.

If my husband had not told his family I would of been very suspicious and probably wouldn't of gone to meet him. Thats just me though. I hope everything turns out well for both of you and good luck in your visajourney.

[Sibtain 1]

Hello, My husband and I just recently went through the visa process in Islamabad. It took us from January 2008 till November 2008 to finish the process. We had many red flags in our case. I am white he is paki. Great age gap. Different religions. Not only is he from Pakistan but he comes from Swat which to my knowledge is a very hard place to get someone a visa.

At the interview the consulate asked him maybe 3 questions. Didnt look at his evidence at all. No field investigation. Six weeks later he got the visa. The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial.

In our case his family did know everything about the marraige and so did all his village. Once you let the "cat out of the bag" not only does his family know but everybody will know. It kind of puts them in a situation where thier reputation not only him, but his family gets put on the line. In the case of my husband, when everybody found out they told him " Oh she is from america and she will leave you" blah blah blah. What if I had left him, I asked him. He said " No father in his village would of given his daughter to him. Which was fine with him but maybe others would not want to take that chance.

I'm not saying that fits your situation I am just telling you what my husband has told me. Reputation and a good name means everything to Pakistani's. If family doesn't except a marraige and disown's you that is the worse thing for them.

If my husband had not told his family I would of been very suspicious and probably wouldn't of gone to meet him. Thats just me though. I hope everything turns out well for both of you and good luck in your visajourney.

You wrote this

"The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial."

My wife also did the same thing but i could not get my visa early like ur husband.

So thing is that everybody has their own circumstances.I got telephonic investigation not feild investigation may be they did but i dont know.

In "ABENITEZ" case absense of her law's is not an issue the issue is if her husband will get the field investigation like Marry wrote above (Almost all gets investigation in Desi to non desi marraiges) then it could become a problem for him and yes they can deny for visa.

Edited March 8, 2009 by Sibtain

[2ond journey 0]

Hello, My husband and I just recently went through the visa process in Islamabad. It took us from January 2008 till November 2008 to finish the process. We had many red flags in our case. I am white he is paki. Great age gap. Different religions. Not only is he from Pakistan but he comes from Swat which to my knowledge is a very hard place to get someone a visa.

At the interview the consulate asked him maybe 3 questions. Didnt look at his evidence at all. No field investigation. Six weeks later he got the visa. The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial.

In our case his family did know everything about the marraige and so did all his village. Once you let the "cat out of the bag" not only does his family know but everybody will know. It kind of puts them in a situation where thier reputation not only him, but his family gets put on the line. In the case of my husband, when everybody found out they told him " Oh she is from america and she will leave you" blah blah blah. What if I had left him, I asked him. He said " No father in his village would of given his daughter to him. Which was fine with him but maybe others would not want to take that chance.

I'm not saying that fits your situation I am just telling you what my husband has told me. Reputation and a good name means everything to Pakistani's. If family doesn't except a marraige and disown's you that is the worse thing for them.

If my husband had not told his family I would of been very suspicious and probably wouldn't of gone to meet him. Thats just me though. I hope everything turns out well for both of you and good luck in your visajourney.

You wrote this

"The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial."

My wife also did the same thing but i could not get my visa early like ur husband.

So thing is that everybody has their own circumstances.I got telephonic investigation not feild investigation may be they did but i dont know.

In "ABENITEZ" case absense of her law's is not an issue the issue is if her husband will get the field investigation like Marry wrote above (Almost all gets investigation in Desi to non desi marraiges) then it could become a problem for him and yes they can deny for visa.

You are right Sibtain, everybody has thier own circumstances and every case is different. I still dont know why my husband got his visa so fast, all I can do is guess. I have always had bad luck in my life and really didn't expect him to get his visa for 5 years. On the other hand, my husband has always had good luck .

I can say though because I was expecting problems on our journey I did do my research on denied petitions. So when I sent our application out to USCIS I included in the packet a couple inches worth of emails, e-cards. He would also called me everyday so included phone history of calls (from him) everyday. All our chat logs of us to prove we talked everyday. I printed out 2 sheets of photos (9 pictures on each sheet) of our wedding and included pics of his family with him and I. On the first page I included and explaination letter that basically talked about our relationship. I hope you get your visa soon so you can be with your wife and have a happy life. Good luck to you.

[Sibtain 1]

Hello, My husband and I just recently went through the visa process in Islamabad. It took us from January 2008 till November 2008 to finish the process. We had many red flags in our case. I am white he is paki. Great age gap. Different religions. Not only is he from Pakistan but he comes from Swat which to my knowledge is a very hard place to get someone a visa.

At the interview the consulate asked him maybe 3 questions. Didnt look at his evidence at all. No field investigation. Six weeks later he got the visa. The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial.

In our case his family did know everything about the marraige and so did all his village. Once you let the "cat out of the bag" not only does his family know but everybody will know. It kind of puts them in a situation where thier reputation not only him, but his family gets put on the line. In the case of my husband, when everybody found out they told him " Oh she is from america and she will leave you" blah blah blah. What if I had left him, I asked him. He said " No father in his village would of given his daughter to him. Which was fine with him but maybe others would not want to take that chance.

I'm not saying that fits your situation I am just telling you what my husband has told me. Reputation and a good name means everything to Pakistani's. If family doesn't except a marraige and disown's you that is the worse thing for them.

If my husband had not told his family I would of been very suspicious and probably wouldn't of gone to meet him. Thats just me though. I hope everything turns out well for both of you and good luck in your visajourney.

You wrote this

"The only thing I can think of that we did different than some others is that I included in the original submission all our proofs. Pictures, emails, phone history ect. I also included in the package a explanation letter of all our "red flags" that the could possibly lead to denial."

My wife also did the same thing but i could not get my visa early like ur husband.

So thing is that everybody has their own circumstances.I got telephonic investigation not feild investigation may be they did but i dont know.

In "ABENITEZ" case absense of her law's is not an issue the issue is if her husband will get the field investigation like Marry wrote above (Almost all gets investigation in Desi to non desi marraiges) then it could become a problem for him and yes they can deny for visa.

You are right Sibtain, everybody has thier own circumstances and every case is different. I still dont know why my husband got his visa so fast, all I can do is guess. I have always had bad luck in my life and really didn't expect him to get his visa for 5 years. On the other hand, my husband has always had good luck .

I can say though because I was expecting problems on our journey I did do my research on denied petitions. So when I sent our application out to USCIS I included in the packet a couple inches worth of emails, e-cards. He would also called me everyday so included phone history of calls (from him) everyday. All our chat logs of us to prove we talked everyday. I printed out 2 sheets of photos (9 pictures on each sheet) of our wedding and included pics of his family with him and I. On the first page I included and explaination letter that basically talked about our relationship. I hope you get your visa soon so you can be with your wife and have a happy life. Good luck to you.

Thanx very much for ur best wishes but i m happy for u guys that u r together now n u will be together always and happy