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American Filipina relationship user manual

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

the topic states its for american men, but this is probably true for other western men as well, but i can only speak as an american.

no one has asked for this, and i am no expert or relationship therapist or anything, but i have seen in my personal relationship, and in the relationships of our friends and family in similar situations all having similar (or exactly the same) problems which are easily avoided. after helping with a friend who arrived here recently, i decided maybe i could share some insights that i have found helpful, and helpful when we have passed them along to others, so here it is, and hopefully it can at least ease some tension in our relationships.

first our background: my wife arrived here as my fiancee at the end of may last year, we got married on august 9th, and she is now pregnant and ready to deliver at the end of may.

HOMESICKNESS

at first when she arrived here we were very busy, seeing all the sights and basically living like we were on vacation, but when i went back to work her depression and homesickness set in. filipinos have a different culture than most of us here in america, as im sure you know already, but something that is not immediately obvious to the casual observer is that many filipinos are surrounded by immediate and distant relatives, and even the neighbors are nealy like relatives and become such a part of each other's lives as to become almost inseparable. one of the first culture shocks for most filipinas moving here is that neighbors tend to keep to themselves, and if they dont, i is uncomfortable to go hangout with them anyway. both sides of the relationship should keep this in mind, the structure she is used to having around her is totally gone. dont expect neighbors to be chismosa with.

if you are feeling home sick, try to go to the local filipino grocery store, if there isnt one in your area, try the asian store...theres usually at least one in most towns...in any case, try to get some familiar food in your belly, for some reason familiar food will make you feel at home. luckily here we can get things from crabs, all the way to calamansi...if you are homesick do your best to get some filipino food, and maybe a filipino friend or two :)

THREATS TO RUN AWAY

in the first couple of weeks expect to become VERY homesick, this is normal. since everyone is different, there is no way to say when it will start, or how long it will last, but unless you are VERY accustomed to traveling and living in different places, you can pretty much guarantee you will be missing home so bad it hurts. even if you dont think you will, trust me, you will. now, during this phase it is very normal and natural to start thinking of going home to stop the pain, if you do feel this way DO NOT threaten to go home. every filipina i know within a few weeks of getting here has started feeling homesick, which has led to a fight of some kind, then they threaten to leave. dont do this, you might think its the only power you have right now, and the only thing you want, but it only leads to hurting your husband to be, and weakens the relationship, and it will in the end only cause you more pain, because no matter what happens this threat will not help you in any way unless he is physically harming you, dont threaten to leave. if he is hurting you then you SHOULD leave.

ACTUALLY RUNNING AWAY

i know that most of you despite this warning will still threaten to leave, and fight with him until you DO leave since, again, EVERY filipina i know has run away, but before you go to this step, think about how you would feel if you just spent years and thousands of dollars to bring someone to be with you and all she wanted to do is leave you. think about how bad that would hurt you. think about what an insult that is, and again, how badly this will hurt the relationship. also, think of how worried he will be when you are gone, and he cant find you, it will tear him up inside.

THREATS

something about filipinas make them think that threats and ultimatums are the only way they can get what they want. guess what? american guys are wired differently (for the most part) if you want something, or want to communicate something you want them to do, or not do, all you have to do is say it. yup, just that simple, tell him you want something, or want him to stop doing something and chances are, if he can, he will. no need to threaten him with "if you do this im going to..." or "im going to kill myself if you..." first of all, we dont fall for the threats, and second you will just upset us when all it would take is mentioning what you want. stop the threats, please.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS/ASSUMPTIONS

i think that a majority of the mis-communications that happen between filipinas and americans stem from the clash of communication between philippine and american culture, and let me explain this: in the philippines, most people dont directly communicate what they are trying to say, so, women especially communicate between the lines, between what is actually said, and what is implied. the men there are brought up knowing how to read these hints and implications and cultural norms, and know how to communicate between the lines as well, and read what the women mean. and beyond that, there is even a cultural device called "tampo" were someone who is upset should lock themselves away and not directly confront the person or thing that upset them. guess what, americans are not brought up that way, we are brought up in a culture where (generally speaking) directness and forthrightness are respected over hinting at and implying things. so, here is something i have learned in my relationship: men, assume you will be misinterpreted. make a statement that what you are saying is actually what you are saying, and what you mean, and there is nothing else there, no hints or signals. women, you should assume that when he is speaking and he says something, thats probably EXACTLY what he means, and nothing more, or less, dont assume he means something other than EXACTLY what those words were. if he says " the house is dirty" he means simply "the house is dirty" he is stating a fact, not making a judgment about you, or that you should clean it, he just noticed it, and said it. again, in most cases this will be true. women, we arent going to get the hint, if you hint at it, we arent going to understand. communicate directly with him, and expect him to communicate directly with you, and you will get along MUCH better. i cant possibly count the number of times i have asked a question and gotten an answer completely unrelated to what i asked, because she assumes i mean something else hahaha

THE SILENT TREATMENT

another part of communication, or lack thereof, is the filipina silent treatment. to me the most maddening trait of all. she is upset, and instead of telling him why, she simply sits there obviously upset, but wont say why. again, the guy is supposed to figure out why she is upset, dont expect that to EVER happen girls, we arent mind readers, and we werent brought up in your culture, so please just assume we wont figure it out and just do the grown up adult thing and tell us what you are upset about. holding it in is unhealthy for you, and wont ever, ever, ever (get my point?) solve anything. just tell us what you are upset about so we can move on with our lives.

THE TEMPER TANTRUM

now, this is something i truly thought i would only see in a child, but it was really amazing to me to see grown women throwing a tantrum like a child. again, just communicate whatever is upsetting you, and we will probably be accommodating. if you want attention, there are better ways to go about it. from what i have heard, most filipinas do this, and also most of them stop eventually after being in the states for a while...maybe seeing that americans dont usually do this helps? i any case, of all the ways i have seen filipinas react to things, this one is pretty ridiculous. if you are a tantrum thrower, please stop. please. its extremely childish, and you will make your man lose respect for you.

LANGUAGE

this is a particularly interesting topic to me, as a military linguist, the interesting interpretation the filipinos make on the english language. it is endlessly interesting to hear the pronunciation and misuse of our language :D

this is fairly obvious, but i think it bears mentioning, clearly there can and will be language barriers. even my wife who is nearly fluent, and whom my american friends feel has little to no accent, still makes minor grammatical and pronunciation errors, and she is probably the best non-native english linguist i have ever heard. but, aside from your average everyday language barriers, which can be at the least annoying, and at the worst a knock down drag out fight, i thought i would list for the benefit of all some interesting english language as interpreted by the filipinos:

f becomes p and vise versa

a becomes u and vise versa

(now say "backpack" following the filipino rules lol)

let - if a filipino says "he let me pay a 1000 pesos" that means he was forced.

make - "he makes me go out so i dont get bored" that means he is allowing her to go out. its a good thing.

slippers - are sandals. for some reason

"he didnt ENTERTAIN me at his office" entertain in this sense means accommodate, not being entertaining. which is actually what it used to be in english too...but that meaning fell out of usage.

thats all i can think of for now, if i think of more i will add them later.

LAMBING

ah...lambing. next to tampo, probably the second most misunderstood cultural phenomenon of the filipina lifestyle. lambing is when she asks to leave, so you do, then she wants you by her, but she tells you to leave again. or she wants you to take her to a restaurant, so you do, but when you get there she doesnt want to go in so you, frustrated, take her home all angry, and she is angry too, because she wanted to go to the restaurant. honestly, after like 3 years, i dont understand it at all. again, ladies, just be open and honest and direct instead of all that lambing stuff. not "when you go to her she says go away, leave me alone, but when you leave she comes running to you and asking you not to leave"

________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________

all in all, probably the biggest source of frustration between american men and filipina women is that it is built in to the filipina to be indirect and assuming and hinting, where it is built into the american man to be direct and forthright and if he assumes something, he assumes that what you said is EXACTLY what you meant....so if both parties can realize this, and internalize it for their communications with one another, things will get easier. women, ONLY assume he means exactly and only what he said, and dont mislead him with your hints and threats and saying things in a way you dont actually want them to be. men, you have to assume she is going to read whatever you say wrong, so state those things carefully, and let her know you arent hinting or implying something else. my wife knows this about me, but STILL she thinks i am upset when i ask a simple factual question, fo example "hey, did you hang a new picture in the office?" her: "why, you dont like it?" and she does this despite the fact that she knows deep down that if i didnt like it, i would just say i didnt like it, right away. so, i have to preface those kinds of things with "this doesnt mean i dont like it, but i noticed a new picture in the office, did you just put it up?"

thats the best advice i have for all of us, just communicate directly, and assume you are being directly communicated with, and you will avoid alot of fights you didnt need to have.

please let me know if i am way off on anything, and feel free to add or substrate anything you would like, i just made this to hopefully help anyone who is in a relationship between a filipina woman and an american man :) (although probably men from other western countries probably have similar reactions)

Met on Filipinaheart.com: 2006-09-26

Became "official": 2006-10-19

Met in person: 2007-08-12

I proposed: 2007-08-13

Returned to America, started missing her:2007-08-24

I-129F Sent : 2008-01-28

I-129F NOA1 : 2008-02-11

Touched: 2008-02-25

I-129F NOA2: 2008-03-06

NOA2 Hard Copy: 2008-03-12

NVC case number assigned: 2008-03-14

Medical: 2008-04-17 PASSED!

Documents forwarded to NSO:2008-04-21

Interview: 2008-04-23 APPROVED (AR) !!

Verified Documents forwarded to USEM from NSO:2008-05-06

May 13 Got text from Delbros that Visa will be delivered up to next 2 days: w00t!

Visa on hand:2008-05-13 w00t!!!!

Ticket to San Antonio,TX: 2008-05-30

Wedding: 2008-08-09

In the Church of my forefathers in Minnesota :)

Baby due: 2009-05-20

AOS Timeline

Submitted application to USCIS: 2009-02-12

NOA: 2009-02-20

Biometrics schedule: 2009-03-17

Advance Parole : April 10, 2009 (received)

EAD: April 13, 2009 (received)

Welcome Notice: April 28,2009 (received) yehey!!!!

Permanent Resident Card: May 2,2009 Woo!!!! Praise GOD!!!

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i agree, communication is one of the important factors to a lasting fil am marriage. thank you for your insights

feb. 26,2008-----noa1

aug. 26, 2008----transferred to csc

sept. 19, 2008--- approved

NVC:

sept. 26, 2008----got case # from a live operator

oct. 6, 2008 ------received AOS bill/paid online

oct. 7, 2008 ------shows PAID

oct. 14,2008 -----IV fee generated/ paid online

oct. 15,2008 -----shows PAID

oct. 16,2008 -----mailed DS230 overnight

oct. 23,2008 ---- RFE

nov. 3,2008 ----- case complete

nov. 26,2008 --- medical exam

aug. 14,2009 --- remedical finally, passed

aug. 24, 2009 -- interview , passed

aug. 29, 2009 -- visa in hand

sept. 24, 2009 -- POE LAX

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My fiance arrived in August 2008 at the age of 20.

I have not seen any temper tantrumn, No Silent Treatment, No threats to run away.

My wife is easy going, and always has a smile on her face and seems to be very happy.

Sound like you have had your hands full

Hopefully things will work out and settle down for you.

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"He always start the fire here in VJ thread and I believe all people will agree with me about it"

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the topic states its for american men, but this is probably true for other western men as well, but i can only speak as an american.

no one has asked for this, and i am no expert or relationship therapist or anything, but i have seen in my personal relationship, and in the relationships of our friends and family in similar situations all having similar (or exactly the same) problems which are easily avoided. after helping with a friend who arrived here recently, i decided maybe i could share some insights that i have found helpful, and helpful when we have passed them along to others, so here it is, and hopefully it can at least ease some tension in our relationships.

first our background: my wife arrived here as my fiancee at the end of may last year, we got married on august 9th, and she is now pregnant and ready to deliver at the end of may.

HOMESICKNESS

at first when she arrived here we were very busy, seeing all the sights and basically living like we were on vacation, but when i went back to work her depression and homesickness set in. filipinos have a different culture than most of us here in america, as im sure you know already, but something that is not immediately obvious to the casual observer is that many filipinos are surrounded by immediate and distant relatives, and even the neighbors are nealy like relatives and become such a part of each other's lives as to become almost inseparable. one of the first culture shocks for most filipinas moving here is that neighbors tend to keep to themselves, and if they dont, i is uncomfortable to go hangout with them anyway. both sides of the relationship should keep this in mind, the structure she is used to having around her is totally gone. dont expect neighbors to be chismosa with.

if you are feeling home sick, try to go to the local filipino grocery store, if there isnt one in your area, try the asian store...theres usually at least one in most towns...in any case, try to get some familiar food in your belly, for some reason familiar food will make you feel at home. luckily here we can get things from crabs, all the way to calamansi...if you are homesick do your best to get some filipino food, and maybe a filipino friend or two :)

THREATS TO RUN AWAY

in the first couple of weeks expect to become VERY homesick, this is normal. since everyone is different, there is no way to say when it will start, or how long it will last, but unless you are VERY accustomed to traveling and living in different places, you can pretty much guarantee you will be missing home so bad it hurts. even if you dont think you will, trust me, you will. now, during this phase it is very normal and natural to start thinking of going home to stop the pain, if you do feel this way DO NOT threaten to go home. every filipina i know within a few weeks of getting here has started feeling homesick, which has led to a fight of some kind, then they threaten to leave. dont do this, you might think its the only power you have right now, and the only thing you want, but it only leads to hurting your husband to be, and weakens the relationship, and it will in the end only cause you more pain, because no matter what happens this threat will not help you in any way unless he is physically harming you, dont threaten to leave. if he is hurting you then you SHOULD leave.

ACTUALLY RUNNING AWAY

i know that most of you despite this warning will still threaten to leave, and fight with him until you DO leave since, again, EVERY filipina i know has run away, but before you go to this step, think about how you would feel if you just spent years and thousands of dollars to bring someone to be with you and all she wanted to do is leave you. think about how bad that would hurt you. think about what an insult that is, and again, how badly this will hurt the relationship. also, think of how worried he will be when you are gone, and he cant find you, it will tear him up inside.

THREATS

something about filipinas make them think that threats and ultimatums are the only way they can get what they want. guess what? american guys are wired differently (for the most part) if you want something, or want to communicate something you want them to do, or not do, all you have to do is say it. yup, just that simple, tell him you want something, or want him to stop doing something and chances are, if he can, he will. no need to threaten him with "if you do this im going to..." or "im going to kill myself if you..." first of all, we dont fall for the threats, and second you will just upset us when all it would take is mentioning what you want. stop the threats, please.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS/ASSUMPTIONS

i think that a majority of the mis-communications that happen between filipinas and americans stem from the clash of communication between philippine and american culture, and let me explain this: in the philippines, most people dont directly communicate what they are trying to say, so, women especially communicate between the lines, between what is actually said, and what is implied. the men there are brought up knowing how to read these hints and implications and cultural norms, and know how to communicate between the lines as well, and read what the women mean. and beyond that, there is even a cultural device called "tampo" were someone who is upset should lock themselves away and not directly confront the person or thing that upset them. guess what, americans are not brought up that way, we are brought up in a culture where (generally speaking) directness and forthrightness are respected over hinting at and implying things. so, here is something i have learned in my relationship: men, assume you will be misinterpreted. make a statement that what you are saying is actually what you are saying, and what you mean, and there is nothing else there, no hints or signals. women, you should assume that when he is speaking and he says something, thats probably EXACTLY what he means, and nothing more, or less, dont assume he means something other than EXACTLY what those words were. if he says " the house is dirty" he means simply "the house is dirty" he is stating a fact, not making a judgment about you, or that you should clean it, he just noticed it, and said it. again, in most cases this will be true. women, we arent going to get the hint, if you hint at it, we arent going to understand. communicate directly with him, and expect him to communicate directly with you, and you will get along MUCH better. i cant possibly count the number of times i have asked a question and gotten an answer completely unrelated to what i asked, because she assumes i mean something else hahaha

THE SILENT TREATMENT

another part of communication, or lack thereof, is the filipina silent treatment. to me the most maddening trait of all. she is upset, and instead of telling him why, she simply sits there obviously upset, but wont say why. again, the guy is supposed to figure out why she is upset, dont expect that to EVER happen girls, we arent mind readers, and we werent brought up in your culture, so please just assume we wont figure it out and just do the grown up adult thing and tell us what you are upset about. holding it in is unhealthy for you, and wont ever, ever, ever (get my point?) solve anything. just tell us what you are upset about so we can move on with our lives.

THE TEMPER TANTRUM

now, this is something i truly thought i would only see in a child, but it was really amazing to me to see grown women throwing a tantrum like a child. again, just communicate whatever is upsetting you, and we will probably be accommodating. if you want attention, there are better ways to go about it. from what i have heard, most filipinas do this, and also most of them stop eventually after being in the states for a while...maybe seeing that americans dont usually do this helps? i any case, of all the ways i have seen filipinas react to things, this one is pretty ridiculous. if you are a tantrum thrower, please stop. please. its extremely childish, and you will make your man lose respect for you.

LANGUAGE

this is a particularly interesting topic to me, as a military linguist, the interesting interpretation the filipinos make on the english language. it is endlessly interesting to hear the pronunciation and misuse of our language :D

this is fairly obvious, but i think it bears mentioning, clearly there can and will be language barriers. even my wife who is nearly fluent, and whom my american friends feel has little to no accent, still makes minor grammatical and pronunciation errors, and she is probably the best non-native english linguist i have ever heard. but, aside from your average everyday language barriers, which can be at the least annoying, and at the worst a knock down drag out fight, i thought i would list for the benefit of all some interesting english language as interpreted by the filipinos:

f becomes p and vise versa

a becomes u and vise versa

(now say "backpack" following the filipino rules lol)

let - if a filipino says "he let me pay a 1000 pesos" that means he was forced.

make - "he makes me go out so i dont get bored" that means he is allowing her to go out. its a good thing.

slippers - are sandals. for some reason

"he didnt ENTERTAIN me at his office" entertain in this sense means accommodate, not being entertaining. which is actually what it used to be in english too...but that meaning fell out of usage.

thats all i can think of for now, if i think of more i will add them later.

LAMBING

ah...lambing. next to tampo, probably the second most misunderstood cultural phenomenon of the filipina lifestyle. lambing is when she asks to leave, so you do, then she wants you by her, but she tells you to leave again. or she wants you to take her to a restaurant, so you do, but when you get there she doesnt want to go in so you, frustrated, take her home all angry, and she is angry too, because she wanted to go to the restaurant. honestly, after like 3 years, i dont understand it at all. again, ladies, just be open and honest and direct instead of all that lambing stuff. not "when you go to her she says go away, leave me alone, but when you leave she comes running to you and asking you not to leave"

________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________

all in all, probably the biggest source of frustration between american men and filipina women is that it is built in to the filipina to be indirect and assuming and hinting, where it is built into the american man to be direct and forthright and if he assumes something, he assumes that what you said is EXACTLY what you meant....so if both parties can realize this, and internalize it for their communications with one another, things will get easier. women, ONLY assume he means exactly and only what he said, and dont mislead him with your hints and threats and saying things in a way you dont actually want them to be. men, you have to assume she is going to read whatever you say wrong, so state those things carefully, and let her know you arent hinting or implying something else. my wife knows this about me, but STILL she thinks i am upset when i ask a simple factual question, fo example "hey, did you hang a new picture in the office?" her: "why, you dont like it?" and she does this despite the fact that she knows deep down that if i didnt like it, i would just say i didnt like it, right away. so, i have to preface those kinds of things with "this doesnt mean i dont like it, but i noticed a new picture in the office, did you just put it up?"

thats the best advice i have for all of us, just communicate directly, and assume you are being directly communicated with, and you will avoid alot of fights you didnt need to have.

please let me know if i am way off on anything, and feel free to add or substrate anything you would like, i just made this to hopefully help anyone who is in a relationship between a filipina woman and an american man :) (although probably men from other western countries probably have similar reactions)

All so true... ! LOL

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Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
My fiance arrived in August 2008 at the age of 20.

I have not seen any temper tantrumn, No Silent Treatment, No threats to run away.

My wife is easy going, and always has a smile on her face and seems to be very happy.

Sound like you have had your hands full

Hopefully things will work out and settle down for you.

the reason i wrote this is because it isnt just my wife who has done this, but all of our friends and other contacts here....i wouldnt have written this based on only my wife, but if i felt others were going through something similar. and for the most part, she has stopped most of these things since last year.

maybe your wife is the exception rather than the rule ;)

clearly its possible that is the case with mine, but she sat here with me helping me remember some of these things, and even helping with the wording of it, especially the lambing....so i am guessing it isnt just her.

Met on Filipinaheart.com: 2006-09-26

Became "official": 2006-10-19

Met in person: 2007-08-12

I proposed: 2007-08-13

Returned to America, started missing her:2007-08-24

I-129F Sent : 2008-01-28

I-129F NOA1 : 2008-02-11

Touched: 2008-02-25

I-129F NOA2: 2008-03-06

NOA2 Hard Copy: 2008-03-12

NVC case number assigned: 2008-03-14

Medical: 2008-04-17 PASSED!

Documents forwarded to NSO:2008-04-21

Interview: 2008-04-23 APPROVED (AR) !!

Verified Documents forwarded to USEM from NSO:2008-05-06

May 13 Got text from Delbros that Visa will be delivered up to next 2 days: w00t!

Visa on hand:2008-05-13 w00t!!!!

Ticket to San Antonio,TX: 2008-05-30

Wedding: 2008-08-09

In the Church of my forefathers in Minnesota :)

Baby due: 2009-05-20

AOS Timeline

Submitted application to USCIS: 2009-02-12

NOA: 2009-02-20

Biometrics schedule: 2009-03-17

Advance Parole : April 10, 2009 (received)

EAD: April 13, 2009 (received)

Welcome Notice: April 28,2009 (received) yehey!!!!

Permanent Resident Card: May 2,2009 Woo!!!! Praise GOD!!!

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Wow, doesn't sound like my Claudeth at all. She took to America like a duck to water and only misses her family and the food but can live without them at this time. She has gained several pounds and is looking as beautiful and sexy as ever. Guess I got myself a wonderful wife :dance:

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United States & Republic of the Philippines

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." John Wayne

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I heard this kind of attitude from other filipina. Nice observation. :thumbs:

K1 Process:

May 1, 2008 Submitted I-129F to CSC

May 8, 2008 Received by CSC

May 9, 2008 NOA1

May 18, 2008 Touched

October 9, 2008 RFE

October 28, 2008 RFE Reply

October 29, 2008 Touched

October 30, 2008 Touched

November 1, 2008 NOA2 (HardCopy)

November 11, 2008 Letter from NVC (Hardcopy)

November 14 & 17, 2008 Medical (Passed)

November 26, 2008 Interview (Passed)

December 5, 2008 Visa Received

December 23, 2008 US Entry (POE: Hawaii)

February 7, 2009 Private Wedding

AOS Process:

March 9, 2009 Mailed AOS Application via Express Mail (I-485, I-765, I-131)

March 10, 2009 USPS confirmed that AOS application was delivered and received in Chicago

March 18, 2009 Received NOA for AOS, EAD and AP

April 8, 2009 Biometrics Done

April 27, 2009 AP Approved

May 1, 2009 AP received in the mail

May 2, 2009 EAD card received in the mail

May 29, 2009 AOS interview (Approved)

June 29, 2009 GC received

ROC Process

March 1, 2011 Mailed I-175 Application via Express Mail

March 4 ,2011 NOA for I-175

April 05,2011 Biometrics [Early Biometrics March 22, 2011]

April 21,2011 Approval

April 27,2011 10 Year Green Card Received

Naturalization Process

March 6, 2012 Mailed N-400 Application via Express Mail

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if there is true love there is true care and whenever theres misunderstanding theres always give and take, forgive, no pride, express your feelings, understand, show your love, give importance, no secrets, share your toughts, communicate, trust and believe. all comes out from us naturally because of the power of love (L) .

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My husband is immune I think. I told him I was homesick and missed my family. He said, "Okay. Pack your stuff. We are going to the airport." I tried tampo, be he likes it when I am quiet. I tried to runaway once, but it is so far. I only got 1/2 mile away, and some lady gave me a ride back. I pout and cry sometimes, and that works one in a while. Other times he just makes fun of me. So, I gave up. For me, lambing is differrent than what I read in the article. I just get really affectionate, and tell him what I want. For me, that is lambing. Most of the time, that works. :reading::no:

Hokey Smoke!

Rocky: "Baby, are they still mad at us on VJ?"

Bullwinkle: "No, they are just confused."

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
My husband is immune I think. I told him I was homesick and missed my family. He said, "Okay. Pack your stuff. We are going to the airport." I tried tampo, be he likes it when I am quiet. I tried to runaway once, but it is so far. I only got 1/2 mile away, and some lady gave me a ride back. I pout and cry sometimes, and that works one in a while. Other times he just makes fun of me. So, I gave up. For me, lambing is differrent than what I read in the article. I just get really affectionate, and tell him what I want. For me, that is lambing. Most of the time, that works. :reading::no:

:lol: yay mr bill! :dance:

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

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I dont really agree with the description of lambing here. Lambing is being affectionate either the "sweet" way or the "brutal" way.

Affectionate or "sweet" lambing could be lots of hugs, sweet talks, compliments all over the place, touches. Lambing in a brutal way.. she would be hitting you with her palm or fist in an affectionate way. Not really meant to harm you.

For oyur description of lambing, you married a woman who does not know what she wants. No offense meant to your wife if this is her way of lambing. Tell her to make up her mind.

- This is the filipina wife speaking.

LAMBING

ah...lambing. next to tampo, probably the second most misunderstood cultural phenomenon of the filipina lifestyle. lambing is when she asks to leave, so you do, then she wants you by her, but she tells you to leave again. or she wants you to take her to a restaurant, so you do, but when you get there she doesnt want to go in so you, frustrated, take her home all angry, and she is angry too, because she wanted to go to the restaurant. honestly, after like 3 years, i dont understand it at all. again, ladies, just be open and honest and direct instead of all that lambing stuff. not "when you go to her she says go away, leave me alone, but when you leave she comes running to you and asking you not to leave"

K1 Process:

May 1, 2008 Submitted I-129F to CSC

May 8, 2008 Received by CSC

May 9, 2008 NOA1

May 18, 2008 Touched

October 9, 2008 RFE

October 28, 2008 RFE Reply

October 29, 2008 Touched

October 30, 2008 Touched

November 1, 2008 NOA2 (HardCopy)

November 11, 2008 Letter from NVC (Hardcopy)

November 14 & 17, 2008 Medical (Passed)

November 26, 2008 Interview (Passed)

December 5, 2008 Visa Received

December 23, 2008 US Entry (POE: Hawaii)

February 7, 2009 Private Wedding

AOS Process:

March 9, 2009 Mailed AOS Application via Express Mail (I-485, I-765, I-131)

March 10, 2009 USPS confirmed that AOS application was delivered and received in Chicago

March 18, 2009 Received NOA for AOS, EAD and AP

April 8, 2009 Biometrics Done

April 27, 2009 AP Approved

May 1, 2009 AP received in the mail

May 2, 2009 EAD card received in the mail

May 29, 2009 AOS interview (Approved)

June 29, 2009 GC received

ROC Process

March 1, 2011 Mailed I-175 Application via Express Mail

March 4 ,2011 NOA for I-175

April 05,2011 Biometrics [Early Biometrics March 22, 2011]

April 21,2011 Approval

April 27,2011 10 Year Green Card Received

Naturalization Process

March 6, 2012 Mailed N-400 Application via Express Mail

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Hmm Go Spurs! But here where my wife is, she has very little culture shock. She never got too homesick, and was always around a lot of Filipinos. So she never ran away or said she would. I wonder how it would be for other Filipinas going to the rest of the US. I think I had more problems adjusting to living in the Mainland. So it would could be worse for someone from another country living there.

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My fiance arrived in August 2008 at the age of 20.

I have not seen any temper tantrumn, No Silent Treatment, No threats to run away.

My wife is easy going, and always has a smile on her face and seems to be very happy.

Sound like you have had your hands full

Hopefully things will work out and settle down for you.

Yeah, same here. I haven't seen any of these behaviors mentioned in my wife. But then I've always known my wife is exceptional :)

Timeline

03-05-2007 Met Jan online

07-05-2007 Flew to the Philippines to meet Jan

10-02-2007 2nd trip to the P.I.

10-04-2007 Obtained "Legal Capacity to Marry" document at the US Embassy in Manila

10-05-2007 Talked to Jan's father about my intentions

10-05-2007 Proposed to Jan

10-08-2007 Applied for marriage license

10-13-2007 Talked to Pastor at St Stephen's Lutheran Church in Baguio

12-22-2007 Our wedding day

04-01-2008 I-130 package sent

04-03-2008 4th trip to the P.I.

04-14-2008 NOA1 received

07-17-2008 NOA2 email received

07-22-2008 NVC Case# generated

07-28-2008 AOS fee paid

07-31-2008 5th trip to the P.I.

08-11-2008 Choice of agent form sent

08-15-2008 Jan attends CFO seminar

08-21-2008 AOS package sent

08-22-2008 Jan applies for passport

08-25-2008 IV Bill received

08-25-2008 IV Bill paid online

09-11-2008 Jan gets her passport

09-12-2008 DS-230 package sent

09-23-2008 Case Complete at NVC

10-03-2008 Appointment made

10-11-2008 Appointment letter received

11-13-2008 Interview date

12-12-2008 HK police clearance sent to NVC

01-15-2009 Manila receives HK police clearance and gives final visa approval

01-16-2009 "SHIPMENT RELEASED BY EMBASSY"

01-21-2009 Visa delivered!

02-09-2009 Flight to Seattle

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ecuador
Timeline

Hmmm ?? Don't know some of the things that are mentioned I think apply to all women not just filipinas. :innocent:

K1 (K2) Application
06-19-2008 I-129F sent (Vermont SC)
06-28-2008 NOA1 / 11-11-2008 NOA2
02-03-2009 INTERVIEW - APPROVED!
02-17-2009 Visa received (for both)
04-27-2009 ARRIVED IN MIAMI
05-30-2009 MARRIED (L)

AOS
07-30-2009 I-485/I-765/I-131 (CIS office Miami)
08-27-2009 NOA1 date
09-03-2009 Biometrics (appt date 09-23-09)
09-18-2009 NOA2
10-21-2009 INTERVIEW DATE - APPROVED
10-31-2009 Green card Received (for my wife and daughter) :joy:

ROC
07-21-2011 I-751 sent to VSC
07-30-2011 NOA1 Date
08-08-2011 Biometrics (appt date 08-26-11)
09-06-2011 Biometrics re-take (appt date 09-28-11)
03-26-2012 RFE – additional evidence / 04-19-2012 Sent docs
07-27-2012 Interview letter (appt date 08-30-12)
08-30-2012 INTERVIEW DATE - APPROVED
09-13-2012 10 Year Green card received (for my wife and daughter) :joy:

N-400

07-02-2015 N-400 sent to Lewisville, TX / 07-09-2015 check cashed
07-16-2015 NOA1
07-17-2015 Biometrics (appt date 07-30-15 / CIS office Oakland Park, FL)
08-03-2015 Case in line for interview

08-20-2015 Interview letter rcvd (appt date 09-22-15 / Hialeah, FL office)

09-22-2015 INTERVIEW DATE - APPROVED (Oath Ceremony date 09-26-15)

09-26-2015 OATH TAKEN. I GOT MY CERTIFICATE OF NATURALIZATION :joy:

11-16-2015 Passport application

12-07-2015 US Passport received

12-09-2015 Got back CoN

N-600 for daughter

05-21-2016 Application sent (13 yo)

06-28-2016 Non-Delivery of Notice request sent since no receipt or letter with case # was received (reply rcvd on 07-13-2016)

07-25-2016 Checked status online: In Line for Oath Ceremony to be scheduled

08-20-2016 Oath Ceremony letter received (now 14 yo) (date 08-27-2016)

08-27-2016 OATH TAKEN IN CEREMONY. DAUGHTER GOT CERTIFICATE OF CITIZENSHIP AND END OF THE JOURNEY :joy:

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