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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Algeria
Timeline
Posted

My husband was finally able to come over here in August from Algeria and we got married in October. It was great to finally be together but then the idea of him living in a small town in Nebraska where there is no subway system, people from his home country, the difficulty of making friends he can relate to, etc. hit him hard. At times, he is glad to be here and other times he wishes he could go back to Europe where he lived for many years. I have tried getting him together with other people with similar backgrounds but nothing has worked out. We have talked about moving to a bigger city on the east coast just so he can find a community he can relate to. Does anyone have any suggestions or know any other Algerians that live in Nebraska or the surrounding states? It breaks my heart to see him so lonely and without a close friend(s).

Thanks

Lady Bird

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

I wish you all the best!! I know how hard it is to move from your home country to be with the love of your life. When I moved to NC... I knew NO ONE except my husband. It is lonely yet exciting. I hope things work out. don't give up trying to find him some help with the lost puzzle pieces your a GOOD wife :)

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

My (Moroccan) husband had the same experience. I'm not sure how long your husband has been in t he US, mine has been her for almost 5 months now. At first it was really hard, a daily battle. He wanted to move to NYC, move to Europe, anywhere just not in Wisconsin. I think it will happen everywhere - it's a stage of adjustment, however rural NE might not be the best place for him (honestly). But that's a decision you'll have to talk about - anywhere will be hard because it's not home.

May 11 '09 - Case Approved 10 yr card in the mail

June - 10 yr card recieved

Feb. 19, 2010 - N-400 Application sent to Phoenix Lockbox

April 3, 2010 - Biometrics

May 17,2010 - Citizenship Test - Minneapolis, MN

July 16, 2010- Retest (writing portion)

October 13, 2010 - Oath Ceremony

Journey Complete!

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Posted

lady bird ...

if it's at all possible ... i would seriously look into relocating. moving to america is definitely a hard adjustment, but even harder is the fact that your husband has absolutely no peers in which to confide, relate with, and just hang out with.

maybe not such a drastic 'move to the east coast', but maybe to a more diverse community. he has made the ultimate sacrafice by moving here to be with the love of his life. it is now up to the both of you together to make sure you make the best decisions possible as a couple to keep that love in your marriage alive! (is that a run on sentence?? :lol: )

best of luck to the both of you!! :thumbs:

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Faith: not wanting to know what is true.~Nietzsche~

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.”

~Winston Churchill~

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Posted

We are planning a relocation as HAwaii has no African community and no African food stores. My husband came all the way here to be with me, the least I can do is help him out as much as I can. Even before he got here, i made sure our apartment was in the city and near the bus stops. Relocating is a good compromise in my opinion!

February 17, 2005--mailed in I 129F to CSC!

February 24, 2005--1st NOA

March 15, 2005--2nd NOA

April 11, 2005--Fiance receives Packet 3

May 19, 2005 Fax Checklist(Nigeria police report finally arrives)

June 6, 2005-- Interview Date!!!!Visa approved!!

June 18, 2005--Fiancee arrives in Hawaii!

August 14, 2005--wedding in Oregon

September 12, 2005--sent in AOS

September 20, 2005--1st NOA AOS

September 23, 2005--Walk-in biometrics completed

October 1, 2005--fingerprints received/processing resumed

November 26, 2005--EAD card received in mail

June 7, 2006--contact senators about AOS

June 28, 2006--senator says interview date is for August 14!!

August 14, 2006--AOS interview and 1 year wedding anniversary

Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

Lady Bird,

I would think that most people experience the same feeling of frustration at least for some time. It would be difficult for someone from a farm or small town to move to a big city; and it is difficult to do the opposite thing. When you cannot drive (meaning cannot move around without someone giving you a ride), don't have friends to talk in your native language, and don't have other family members here... it's hard!

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline
Posted

It's very very important for my wife to live near Vietnamese (Asian) markets, shops and restuarants. She doesn't hang out with the local VNs; she just needs the accessibilty to familiar food and products. She HATES going to my hometown in the midwest America.

Filed: Country: Vietnam
Timeline
Posted
It's very very important for my wife to live near Vietnamese (Asian) markets, shops and restuarants. She doesn't hang out with the local VNs; she just needs the accessibilty to familiar food and products. She HATES going to my hometown in the midwest America.

My wife goes into withdrawls if she doesn't eat Vietnamese food at least once a week. Lucky for her we are only 10 minutes from Little Saigon. But damn the traffic down there reminds me of big Saigon.

20-July -03 Meet Nicole

17-May -04 Divorce Final. I-129F submitted to USCIS

02-July -04 NOA1

30-Aug -04 NOA2 (Approved)

13-Sept-04 NVC to HCMC

08-Oc t -04 Pack 3 received and sent

15-Dec -04 Pack 4 received.

24-Jan-05 Interview----------------Passed

28-Feb-05 Visa Issued

06-Mar-05 ----Nicole is here!!EVERYBODY DANCE!

10-Mar-05 --US Marriage

01-Nov-05 -AOS complete

14-Nov-07 -10 year green card approved

12-Mar-09 Citizenship Oath Montebello, CA

May '04- Mar '09! The 5 year journey is complete!

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: China
Timeline
Posted
My husband was finally able to come over here in August from Algeria and we got married in October. It was great to finally be together but then the idea of him living in a small town in Nebraska where there is no subway system, people from his home country, the difficulty of making friends he can relate to, etc. hit him hard. At times, he is glad to be here and other times he wishes he could go back to Europe where he lived for many years. I have tried getting him together with other people with similar backgrounds but nothing has worked out. We have talked about moving to a bigger city on the east coast just so he can find a community he can relate to. Does anyone have any suggestions or know any other Algerians that live in Nebraska or the surrounding states? It breaks my heart to see him so lonely and without a close friend(s).

Thanks

Lady Bird

This is a tough issue to deal with. People don't really appreciate culture shock until they go through it. I went through the same thing living overseas. It takes a significant amount of time to adjust. I spent some time helping a foreign college student prepare for an interview with an American university. I tried many times to prepare her for the struggles that she would face because of being in a new culture. Unfortunately, even now she fails to see that many of her frustrations are rooted in her not understanding American culture.

Yes it is helpful to have some support of people with similar backgrounds. However, one of the problems that people have is they come to the US and then move into an area that is predominantly made up of people of their own culture. While it is important to retain cultural heritage, people can remain mostly isolated from American culture, and therefore never really become integrated into our society. One of the greatest things about the USA is it's diversity, and we can only enjoy it if we all share and celebrate our differences.

I can tell you that I had many days in China when I felt depressed and lonely. I worked hard to fight through it, and becoming more involved with my Chinese friends and family helped a lot. I also made a habit of going to KFC or McDonalds once a week to satisfy my desire for American food. You are right, having some friends of like background is helpful, but being determined to become a part of your new environment is equally important.

Relocating is a huge step, and your husband must feel fortunate that you would consider making a change like that for him. I am sure that your support helps keep him propped up when he is low. It's a tough decision. Good luck to you as you try to decide what is the right thing for you two.

Qiao

我爱小兔子

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

I feel for you both. While Anna (my fiance) is not here yet this has been my biggest fear that she will get here and have a hard time adjusting. Currently she lives in a very large metropolitian area and I have been very honest with her what it is like here. I do not live in a 1 traffic light town but it is a smaller midwest town, luckily I work for a university and there is a rather large international population. I am going to try and help her build a life where she has her own friends and such and help her adjust as best as I can but this is one of my biggest fears. Once she is here we will adjust and if things do not go well I am sure we will figure out something, I wont say know to any possability but I have tried to express to her how much I have become attached to where I live. Of course I love her so in the end we will do what is best for us as a family.

While it is a fear I have I do not worry about it since fear of the unknown is usually much worse than actually experiencing the source of the fear.

Paul/Anna

Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)

Lady Bird,

My sense, from having read thousands of posts to VJ and other sites, is that most people are wrapped up in each other during the immigration process without sufficient regard for the environement within which they will exist once immigration has occurred. (Much as they often fail to look ahead from one step in the immigration process itself to the next step.) While one's signigicant other may be the most important things in one's life, there are many other things in life that are very close behind. All of these things should be considered in advance in order to prepare for the transition and to estimate if a successful transition is likely or even possible.

When my wife was first here she was quite homesick, as most of her countrymen and many other immigrants are. One fellow countryman she met early on told her that she'd be homesick for 2 years, but after 5 years she'll be saying 'to hell with the old country'. That prediction was accurate.

That being said, different people prefer different living conditions and most people will be forever unhappy living a lifestyle that just doesn't suit them. Good luck and best wishes to both of you finding a solution to the problem.

Yodrak

My husband was finally able to come over here in August from Algeria and we got married in October. It was great to finally be together but then the idea of him living in a small town in Nebraska where there is no subway system, people from his home country, the difficulty of making friends he can relate to, etc. hit him hard. At times, he is glad to be here and other times he wishes he could go back to Europe where he lived for many years. I have tried getting him together with other people with similar backgrounds but nothing has worked out. We have talked about moving to a bigger city on the east coast just so he can find a community he can relate to. Does anyone have any suggestions or know any other Algerians that live in Nebraska or the surrounding states? It breaks my heart to see him so lonely and without a close friend(s).

Thanks

Lady Bird

Edited by Yodrak
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Algeria
Timeline
Posted

I really relate. My fiance is also from Algeria. I live in Charleston, not exactly the sticks, but not quite a metropolis. The biggest issue Amed has had is his lack of mobility, as he lived in Paris for many years and was used to hopping on a subway or train and getting anywhere he needed to go. Now, without a driver's license, he is dependent upon me or my parents to get him where he needs to go.

However, he has met a couple of people at the Mosque from Algeria, and there are some Jordanians who work close by whom he's spoken with. He's only been here 2 months, so it's hard to say what will happen in the future, but he has already expressed some disappointment with the situation here (ie, being stuck at home by himself while I work with no car, etc). The reason we're not leaving for a while is that I have a steady job that I'd like to keep for AOS. I think that after AOS is over, or if I can find the right job opportunity, we may consider moving. I keep hoping that once he gets his license, his permanent EAD and a car, he'll start to move around and make his own friends and feel more comfortable here.

Does your husband drive? Does he go to mosque? Would you be able to move somewhere with a more diverse population? I know there is a huge arabic community in Detroit, and also in Boston and of course, New York. I'm sure he'd have no trouble meeting people in any of those places. Also, over in the Middle East/North African forum, we talk about places to find arabic food, how to find arabic recipes, etc. It may help your husband's homesickness to have a little piece of home brought to him. You may want to come by and talk to some people over there who are going through the same thing.

People who've never been to the U.S. before sometimes have this idea in their heads about it being so great here, and sometimes it can be a let down once they are really here. It does take time for adjustment, but if you find that it's not working, I think anything that could make your husband feel more at home here would be great. Good luck to you! (F)

4/15/06- Visa in hand!!!

4/21/06 Arrival in U.S.

5/11/06 Legal Marriage

11/4/06 Wedding

_____________________________

AOS

6/12/06 AOS, EAD, and AP papers sent off

6/26/06 NOA1 Date

7/17/06 Biometrics done

8/04/06 Case transferred to CSC

8/8/06 Case received at CSC

9/21/06 Greencard received!!!!

______________________________

8/31/09 Naturalization- Done with USCIS

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Algeria
Timeline
Posted

Lady Bird,

I have worried about this very problem. Hachemi is not here yet, but I have talked to him about this very issue. He lives in a large city in the middle of everything. I have talked to him about our small rural town. And expressed to him, I would be willing to move if needed. He says no to this. He wants to live here. There is one other Algerian here(and the only Muslim here). He is the husband of a good friend of mine and my son's soccer coach. He has been here about 11 years and has integrated well into the community. Misty said he is excited that another Algerian is coming to live here. I am hoping they can become good friends. There is no mosque here. The closest one is about a 45 min. drive and is located near the University. We will see, I hope he is happy in a small town.

I have made several friends on VJ with fiances in Algeria. We have hooked the guys up in Algeria and they have actually become friends, even though the girls live in different parts of the USA, and the guys live in different areas of Algeria. I am hoping once they all get here, they can call each other for support and we can even visit each other sometime. Maybe we can introduce your husband to the guys. PM me if you want to.

Good luck.

Meriem (F)

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted (edited)

I'm going to come at this from a different angle... (as usual with me...)

I too have been frustrated at the lack of public transit, hubby swears we have it but I have yet to see it, the fact that we have to drive everywhere, that I sound different from everyone, that I can't find things I 'normally' cook with etc... I know the change for me isn't as drastic as his but it's still there, instead of fighting it or hating it or wishing it was the way I was used to I decided to just go with it and see what new adventures I can get myself into. Perhaps your hubby can do the same?

There is no way he will find what he left behind, it's futile to even attempt, why not just try to accept the changes and the new lifestyle, no matter how 'odd' it may be. I didn't move to small city Texas to be in Toronto, I moved for my love and all the exciting changes that meant.

Edited by Canuck Carrie

2005

Sept 10 I-129F sent to TSC

2006

Interview - February 13th APPROVED! day 152

April 6 - wedding date day 204

Aug 22 - AOS interview date day 101-total days 342

Sept 29 - green card arrives, done until June 2008 day 140-total days 381

2008

June 30 - I-751 mailed total days 1025

2009

March 9 - Removal of Conditions approved! total days 1277

 
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