Mean Zodiac - Your stars - but with attitude

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Signs of the Zodiac

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a #######.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap #######. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably #######. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

CAPRICORN (Dec22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.

(I'm Sagittarius btw! HIC!)

[almaty 19]

Signs of the Zodiac

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a #######.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap #######. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably #######. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

CAPRICORN (Dec22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.

(I'm Sagittarius btw! HIC!)

me too..now what did i do with that rum bottle..?

[dmd01708 3]

Im a beautiful Leo now give me that bloody mirror or i will nick ya lunch money

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I lack confidence and am a loser? I could have told you that myself.

[arwensun1965 0]

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Well this is me down to a tee lmao

[Melo 1]

Hehehehe - me I am Gemini

[Welshcookie 17]

Signs of the Zodiac

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

How do you know this about me??????? Can I change your mind??? No??? I suck greatly....

[Cristy 4]

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

I was a bus driver (never been a pimp though...hmmmm )! I had a mug that said all this on it.

[Sharon 1]

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

I was a bus driver (never been a pimp though...hmmmm )! I had a mug that said all this on it.

I'm a Virgo too, Cristy - let's go nit-picking together....lol.

[JayJay 4]

I saw a similar and even ruder one on on FunnyJunk and showed it to my Dad, and subsequently both of us laughed so hard we almost fell over/had a heart attack

They're brilliant. I swear every single time I read them I snort so hard I sound like a feckin' pig - and I never snort! I'm goign to go and find the ruder on funnjunk.com now so that I can post it right here. Warning - it's even ruder than the one above, so if you really are easily offended, don't read my next reply. If you just want to laugh so hard you cry, go for it. But it's rude

- that's for sharing

*Grinz mercelessly*

WARNING - DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!

Edited February 11, 2006 by JayJay

[kygeographer 0]

I saw a similar and even ruder one on on FunnyJunk and showed it to my Dad, and subsequently both of us laughed so hard we almost fell over/had a heart attack

They're brilliant. I swear every single time I read them I snort so hard I sound like a feckin' pig - and I never snort! I'm goign to go and find the ruder on funnjunk.com now so that I can post it right here. Warning - it's even ruder than the one above, so if you really are easily offended, don't read my next reply. If you just want to laugh so hard you cry, go for it. But it's rude

- that's for sharing

*Grinz mercelessly*

WARNING - DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!

Holy ######. That was hilarious!

Edited February 11, 2006 by kygeographer

[JayJay 4]

Isn't it though? I mean it's so totally 100% shocking that it just jump starts you into a state of complete hilarious abandonment

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

That was great JayJay.

[aussiewench 9]

At least Im in good company with welshie and AS with being a total dipshit with no confidence an a total loser

Oh and I am being followed by the FBI And I'm married to an agent

Look at AS....he even thinks he is an agent with that ID and welshie has cookies which is a sure sign of spyware Are they after me too

[KarenCee 3]

LOLOL.....gawd was that ever funny!

BTW....I'm a Scorpio