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Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she's a redhead with blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing a blue midriff tank-top and white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

******************************************************************

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband's turn.

He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female. 4a2dd8fd.gif

***************************************************

Games for Old People

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

But Most Of All, Remember !

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

Edited by aussiewench

You can find me on FBI

An overview of Security Name Checks And Administrative Review at Service Center, NVC & Consulate levels.

Detailed Review USCIS Alien Security Checks

fb2fc244.gif72c97806.gif4d488a91.gif

11324375801ij.gif

View Timeline HERE

I am but a wench not a lawyer. My advice and opinion is just that. I read, I research, I learn.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Thailand
Timeline

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:thumbs:

Good ones Lorelle! :D

K-1 Timeline

11-29-05: Mailed I-129F Petition to CSC

12-06-05: NOA1

03-02-06: NOA2

03-23-06: Interview Date May 16

05-17-06: K-1 Visa Issued

05-20-06: Arrived at POE, Honolulu

07-17-06: Married

AOS Timeline

08-14-06: Mailed I-485 to Chicago

08-24-06: NOA for I-485

09-08-06: Biometrics Appointment

09-25-06: I-485 transferred to CSC

09-28-06: I-485 received at CSC

10-18-06: AOS Approved

10-21-06: Approval notice mailed

10-23-06: Received "Welcome Letter"

10-27-06: Received 2 yr Green Card

I-751 Timeline

07-21-08: Mailed I-751 to VSC

07-25-08: NOA for I-751

08-27-08: Biometrics Appointment

02-25-09: I-751 transferred to CSC

04-17-09: I-751 Approved

06-22-09: Received 10 yr Green Card

N-400 Timeline

07-20-09: Mailed N-400 to Lewisville, TX

07-23-09: NOA for N-400

08-14-09: Biometrics Appointment

09-08-09: Interview Date Oct 07

10-30-09: Oath Ceremony

11-20-09: Received Passport!!!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
:lol::lol:



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

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:thumbs: spot on Lorelle :thumbs:

[The reason god put spaces in between your fingers was so another person's hands could fill it up.

CHERISH YESTERDAY, LIVE TODAY AND DREAM TOMORROW

Life is like a song... Sing it.

Life is like a challenge... Pursue it.

Life is like a sacrifice... Offer it.

Life is love... Enjoy it.

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i agree scumpi!!! her sexy bum HAS been missed around here!!

what'd ya do ... get a visa or something!??! :P:lol:

line_bar_12d.gifline_bar_12d.gif

Music___Lennon___Imagine_by_jjjean6.png

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.~Nietzsche~

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.”

~Winston Churchill~

text___just_be_animated_colour_by_j.gif

line_bar_12d.gifline_bar_12d.gif

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i agree scumpi!!! her sexy bum HAS been missed around here!!

what'd ya do ... get a visa or something!??! :P:lol:

41952711.gif

You can find me on FBI

An overview of Security Name Checks And Administrative Review at Service Center, NVC & Consulate levels.

Detailed Review USCIS Alien Security Checks

fb2fc244.gif72c97806.gif4d488a91.gif

11324375801ij.gif

View Timeline HERE

I am but a wench not a lawyer. My advice and opinion is just that. I read, I research, I learn.

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Share on other sites

01010546.gif

8-12-2004 I moved to New Zealand(married my Kiwi in US 5/04)

1-12-2006 Received initial packet - It has I-130, I-864 & DS-230 Part 1, DS-2001 & tons of instructions.

Gathering paperwork that we don't have:

5-30-2006 - I-130 FILED AND ACCEPTED BY AUCKLAND CONSULATE!- INTERVIEW: 6/13/2006

6-13-2006 - APPROVED!usaCa.gifnew_zeaC3.gif

6-14-2006 - VISA IN HAND D_SMIL112.gif

08-05-2006 -WE ARE HOME IN THE USA!!! flag12.gif

THREE HAPPY YEARS LATER:

5-10-09 - N-400 filed

8-24-09 - Interview

9-14-09 - Naturalization Oath Ceremony

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Thailand
Timeline

i agree scumpi!!! her sexy bum HAS been missed around here!!

what'd ya do ... get a visa or something!??! :P:lol:

41952711.gif

You're so cute when you blush!!! ;):D

K-1 Timeline

11-29-05: Mailed I-129F Petition to CSC

12-06-05: NOA1

03-02-06: NOA2

03-23-06: Interview Date May 16

05-17-06: K-1 Visa Issued

05-20-06: Arrived at POE, Honolulu

07-17-06: Married

AOS Timeline

08-14-06: Mailed I-485 to Chicago

08-24-06: NOA for I-485

09-08-06: Biometrics Appointment

09-25-06: I-485 transferred to CSC

09-28-06: I-485 received at CSC

10-18-06: AOS Approved

10-21-06: Approval notice mailed

10-23-06: Received "Welcome Letter"

10-27-06: Received 2 yr Green Card

I-751 Timeline

07-21-08: Mailed I-751 to VSC

07-25-08: NOA for I-751

08-27-08: Biometrics Appointment

02-25-09: I-751 transferred to CSC

04-17-09: I-751 Approved

06-22-09: Received 10 yr Green Card

N-400 Timeline

07-20-09: Mailed N-400 to Lewisville, TX

07-23-09: NOA for N-400

08-14-09: Biometrics Appointment

09-08-09: Interview Date Oct 07

10-30-09: Oath Ceremony

11-20-09: Received Passport!!!

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