descrimination!!

[charisse 0]

hello everyone im a newbie here! im not sure if what forum i should post this , but anyway things bother me when i got here its been difficult at start but im happy coz im with my hubby but sometimes he's the reason why im upset,i remember one time we attend at a party which i met most of his friends he talk about so much stuff about phil.but instead of good things and memorable places weve travel when he's there, he mention all the negative stuff and his friend gave me a weird look after hearing this horrible stuff maybe his thingking how poor and gross philippines which really make me feel embarassed.i try to explain to him how it made me feel but he keep doin that everytime he introduced me to his new friend and i think thats one of the reason why i feel outcast everytime were hanging out with his friends.bcoz most of his friends were saying that filipinas marrying americans no matter what the age differences so that thaey can go to U.S and experience a good life.i cant help thinking my husband downgrading me and discriminate me sometime

[ManilaIdaho 2]

I guess discrimination is rampant all over the world,even in our own country.But no matter how people put you down,you know the real you.don't pay too much attention to those people,just ignore them and continue doing good not only for yourself but also to others.as the saying goes,nobody can put a good person down and we cannot please everybody

[gennyangel 3]

its just sad that what your husband saw was just the bad side of the phillippines..They dont know that there are many hidden treasure within the phillippines archipelago and filipino's moral value,its just sad how they generalized it..Dont let these people's notion about the philippines bring you down.

[wowswift 3]

as long as he's talking about the actual place and not the people, i wouldn't worry too much. maybe he just doesn't like it there. maybe he is being sarcastic. the canadians will jump on me, but i don't say much good about newfoundland canada (where my husband is from) cept maybe nice to look at, but really, it just wasn't for me. my husband doesn't seem to be offended, i think he's just happy to be out of the snow almost as much as i am

[MMW 2]

You know I find this sad also, I have been here in the Philippines with my wife working her visa for over a year. The stories I will be bringing back to the states with me will be about a friendly and courteous people, who no matter what their circumstances still maintain a happy and joyous spirit. Taking hardships in stride and always looking on to tomorrow being a better day. the standard of living or some of the living conditions are not what should be remembered about an American's stay here. It should be the proud and resourceful people that they encounter. You have every right to be upset with him and if i act like that with my wife I would have a beating coming and deserve it!!

as long as he's talking about the actual place and not the people, i wouldn't worry too much. maybe he just doesn't like it there. maybe he is being sarcastic. the canadians will jump on me, but i don't say much good about newfoundland canada (where my husband is from) cept maybe nice to look at, but really, it just wasn't for me. my husband doesn't seem to be offended, i think he's just happy to be out of the snow almost as much as i am

If you understood Philippine culture and the pride they have in their country it would be clear why she is hurt by it.

[Ranchris 0]

We see why your are hurt /saddened it's because it is your husband that is promoting a negative picture of you and your Country...that is sad....but please remind him that he, himself is a big fan of your country because judging from the lengthy, costly requirements to bring a foreigner to his country, America.....he endured all that just so he could bring you here to make fun of you and the Philippines ....what a costly joke...the jokes on him...not you. He's hopelessly in love with you and can't explain it to his friends. Sorry if anyone is offended by the above but those are our opinion.

Edited February 26, 2009 by Ranchris

[wowswift 3]

You know I find this sad also, I have been here in the Philippines with my wife working her visa for over a year. The stories I will be bringing back to the states with me will be about a friendly and courteous people, who no matter what their circumstances still maintain a happy and joyous spirit. Taking hardships in stride and always looking on to tomorrow being a better day. the standard of living or some of the living conditions are not what should be remembered about an American's stay here. It should be the proud and resourceful people that they encounter. You have every right to be upset with him and if i act like that with my wife I would have a beating coming and deserve it!!

as long as he's talking about the actual place and not the people, i wouldn't worry too much. maybe he just doesn't like it there. maybe he is being sarcastic. the canadians will jump on me, but i don't say much good about newfoundland canada (where my husband is from) cept maybe nice to look at, but really, it just wasn't for me. my husband doesn't seem to be offended, i think he's just happy to be out of the snow almost as much as i am

If you understood Philippine culture and the pride they have in their country it would be clear why she is hurt by it.

well i understand lao culture, but still, i do understand her as a person being offended, but in reality she shouldn't take it so personal. if she isn't here yet, or still in PI, its a good lesson i'd would think. in that situation, i'd be more happy to have a husband that is honest and not afraid to speak his mind. even if he is being sarcastic, she will learn that on his own.

[HappyDancer 7]

No matter how true whatever he is saying about the Philippines, but since you've expressed that you are uncomfortable, he should respect that. He is an a$shole for what he's doing. The nerve!

[MMW 2]

Speaking his mind to her in the privacy of their home is one thing but belittling her in front of his friends shows a lack of respect for her feelings and is in any normal viewpoint disrespectful to his wife. I would think anyone, man or woman expects a certain level of respect from their spouse. It seems as the other poster hinted at that the real issue was his insecurity in front of his friends. This is actually more of a concern than just maybe him making poor judgment. My wife has every right to expect me to show respect to her and her background in any situation as well she should. If he didn't like his experience in the PI then he should keep it to himself and not embarrass his wife in their new surroundings with no thought of her or her feelings. This says a lot of his character and she should be concerned and demand different behavior from him.

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Jerk. And Ranchris was right- the joke is on him.

[charisse 0]

when i tried to discuss him bout this issue he said that he was just re evaluate what other people might think about it!! but for me no matter how people think i really dont care!!! i appreciate philippines ,my country and im proud that im filipino .coz filipino traits is far apart from americans i miss the warm hospitality and courteousness of filipino and how resourceful and appreciative they are.i miss home:(

[Jasman0717 9]

Can you drive or get out and about? You should try to find some Filipino friends in your area. We found a nice place up in Cerritos that Claudeth loves. It is a Goldilocks and she just loves the food and it makes her feel like she is in the Philippines. There is also a Jollibee and a nice grocery store in the area too. You might look around your area. Where are you from?

[charisse 0]

Im in Charlotte N.C ,didnt meet any filipino here yet .my husband pushing me to bond with his home girls but i dont want to hang out with them coz there just different i cant stand their behavior

[trailmix 77]

as long as he's talking about the actual place and not the people, i wouldn't worry too much. maybe he just doesn't like it there. maybe he is being sarcastic. the canadians will jump on me, but i don't say much good about newfoundland canada (where my husband is from) cept maybe nice to look at, but really, it just wasn't for me. my husband doesn't seem to be offended, i think he's just happy to be out of the snow almost as much as i am

I think I would take it personally if my Husband's friends stated that people from my country will marry an American - regardless of the age difference - just to come to the States - I don't know if you read the whole post? I'm also sure that they wouldn't be friends of ours anyway, but if they were they wouldn't be anymore.

Sorry you are feeling homesick as well charisse.

As for your view on NFLD wowswift, I can't see any Canadian's jumping on you about that. I am sure you have seen the posts about different places in the U.S. in the Canada forum - Canada is not for everyone

bcoz most of his friends were saying that filipinas marrying americans no matter what the age differences so that thaey can go to U.S and experience a good life.i cant help thinking my husband downgrading me and discriminate me sometime

Edited February 26, 2009 by trailmix

[kurt53 0]

Sounds like your husband may be insensitive. He also may feel superior to others. That usually stems from feeling inadequate. Hope he shuts his mouth before he ruins your marriage.