marriage proposal

[sweetee 0]

hello my vj family:

I just want to break the news to you all. Uchenna proposed to me today. I was so surprised. He called me around 4am this morning and asked me over the phone. Right now Im walking on cloud nine. Im so so happy. I never even imagine this happening to me. I had to share this with my vj family first. I know people will be negative so I won't tell my family here yet. I know its early in our relationship but I just love him so much. Oh, and I did say yes!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited and I just can't hide it. Im about to lose control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uchegirl

CONGRATULATIONS and i wish u the best. however, i must tell you to be very careful. i know u said that the 2 of u met only a few weeks ago online and that does seem kinda fast. its not really my business but im gonna say this anyway b/c i feel you need to know this and also b/c after talking w/a few other people they have told me that if they knew back then what they know now, no marriage of any kind to a foreigner would have ever taken place.

keep ur ears and eyes wide open to all he does and SAY right now. it's very crucial you pay close attention to everything even with the distance between the 2 of you. im not trying to steer u in the wrong direction or anything, but so many USC's have brought their SO here on marriage based visas (K1,K3, CR1) and now just like Idocare said in an earlier post, they(SO) start doing things to frustrate you into leaving them or they just picking up and leaving you.

I know of a few here that are going thru that similar situation. Once the SO received his CPR or LPR they start tripping. And some start just as soon as the I-485(AOS) is filed. And what's even worst is when all hell break loose and they realize that you will not allow the AOS or the I-751 to proceed; that is when they find an immigration attorney and claim ASYLUM!!!! And it's not much you can do from there, b/c actually brotherman (or woman) don't really need you for that as long as he/she can show he entered into the marriage w/good faith.

I had no idea that they could do this, and it has happened to a girl here in LA and the SO is actually a friend of my husband and we all belong to the same Nigerian organization here & another one of my friends it has happened to is a past VJ member. It makes me wonder if some of those SO's that come here attend some kinda training b4 getting here and they learn exactly what to do & say to the USC in order to get that prestigious "greencard" that they want so badly even if they have to lie on the USC and make all kinds of accusations.

Actually, i have even said something to that effect at a UNO meeting and some of the members just looked at me and laughed and others just told me that all people are not the same. And some really do have good intentions, but some do scam to get here, by all cost. And another thing, some of the vj members that don't come around anymore has even told me that hind sight has made them realized that things were done and said that they should have picked up on, but b/c of being so much in love, they just brushed it off.

Uchegirl, just BE CAREFUL!!!!

Michele

[PlatyPius 5]

hello my vj family:

I just want to break the news to you all. Uchenna proposed to me today. I was so surprised. He called me around 4am this morning and asked me over the phone. Right now Im walking on cloud nine. Im so so happy. I never even imagine this happening to me. I had to share this with my vj family first. I know people will be negative so I won't tell my family here yet. I know its early in our relationship but I just love him so much. Oh, and I did say yes!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited and I just can't hide it. Im about to lose control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uchegirl

CONGRATULATIONS and i wish u the best. however, i must tell you to be very careful. i know u said that the 2 of u met only a few weeks ago online and that does seem kinda fast. its not really my business but im gonna say this anyway b/c i feel you need to know this and also b/c after talking w/a few other people they have told me that if they knew back then what they know now, no marriage of any kind to a foreigner would have ever taken place.

keep ur ears and eyes wide open to all he does and SAY right now. it's very crucial you pay close attention to everything even with the distance between the 2 of you. im not trying to steer u in the wrong direction or anything, but so many USC's have brought their SO here on marriage based visas (K1,K3, CR1) and now just like Idocare said in an earlier post, they(SO) start doing things to frustrate you into leaving them or they just picking up and leaving you.

I know of a few here that are going thru that similar situation. Once the SO received his CPR or LPR they start tripping. And some start just as soon as the I-485(AOS) is filed. And what's even worst is when all hell break loose and they realize that you will not allow the AOS or the I-751 to proceed; that is when they find an immigration attorney and claim ASYLUM!!!! And it's not much you can do from there, b/c actually brotherman (or woman) don't really need you for that as long as he/she can show he entered into the marriage w/good faith.

I had no idea that they could do this, and it has happened to a girl here in LA and the SO is actually a friend of my husband and we all belong to the same Nigerian organization here & another one of my friends it has happened to is a past VJ member. It makes me wonder if some of those SO's that come here attend some kinda training b4 getting here and they learn exactly what to do & say to the USC in order to get that prestigious "greencard" that they want so badly even if they have to lie on the USC and make all kinds of accusations.

Actually, i have even said something to that effect at a UNO meeting and some of the members just looked at me and laughed and others just told me that all people are not the same. And some really do have good intentions, but some do scam to get here, by all cost. And another thing, some of the vj members that don't come around anymore has even told me that hind sight has made them realized that things were done and said that they should have picked up on, but b/c of being so much in love, they just brushed it off.

Uchegirl, just BE CAREFUL!!!!

Michele

While not the happiest of replies (points up), it's unfortunately true. Do as Michele says and watch and listen carefully.

I work for a large computer manufacturer. I've mentioned it before in regard to the issue of illegal immigrants. This time I'll be talking about the legal immigrants.

All of the guys (there are 9) who work in the chassis repair department are from Nigeria. Not only are they all from Nigeria, they are all from the same village/town in Nigeria. They all came to the US by marrying a USC. They all came here at roughly the same time, too. None of them are still married.

I'm not trying to frighten you, I'm just warning you to be careful. I'm sure none of the 9 former wives thought it would happen to them, either. It can happen to anyone. I honestly hope that all is as it seems and that you achieve happiness. Best of luck to you.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Congratulations ans best of luck to you both...

[Jideprincess 0]

hello my vj family:

I just want to break the news to you all. Uchenna proposed to me today. I was so surprised. He called me around 4am this morning and asked me over the phone. Right now Im walking on cloud nine. Im so so happy. I never even imagine this happening to me. I had to share this with my vj family first. I know people will be negative so I won't tell my family here yet. I know its early in our relationship but I just love him so much. Oh, and I did say yes!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited and I just can't hide it. Im about to lose control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uchegirl

Hey Uchegirl sis, I wanted to add another one of my two cents on relationships. Each relationship in life is one we take on chance, i prefer the word on good faith. We do this many times in life without looking into the situation, however life experiences soon teach us how to discern the rights from wrongs.

My thing is keep the faith if you doing whats right in your heart. You can't answer for anyone else. Life may be bliss or it may bring sorrow..its all in taking a chance. The key thing is you can enjoy your relationship in knowing your heart in the right place, pray that God keeps your eyes and ears open and enjoy yourself. Never let fear steal your chance of a loving relationship by dwelling on suspicions at the same time don't have a foolish heart and ignore warning signs. If you go on common sense and instinct you will be fine. Anytime a person do wrong to another..They reap what they sow. Just know you doing the right thing

Now i know all relationships some have had may not have turned out right. It dont' matter if its a Naija man or a man from Kansas...People will do what they plan on doing...regardless, you can't stop the motives of a person, all you can do is look out for yourself when the signs develope. I feel that the hurt is no different than helping a man get a green card than marryin a man and he goes off cheating and he a American citizen..Pain is pain...My thing is it dont matter if he from Nigeria or not. No one wants to be hurt.

But my thing is...we all been hurt (if you old enough or live long you will be)..the key thing life is not over if fate turns it that way. When you find that peace within yourself and know that you are going to be happy whether a man in your life or what then your focus is clear. Many times I see men being blame, but what about the women who doing things to get a warm bed or have someone help pay their bills. My point is the table can be turned many times. People dont' always show their motives, but soon time will. So are good..Some folks are bad.

My thing is...live your life in happiness and not walking around with fear in your spirit. That steals the joy of what may be a blessed relationship. Keep your mind and trust in God, even if the enemy may try to fool you..GOD NEVER will forsake you and will keep you going. He will give u the strength to carry on. Each day is a learning experience my sister and enjoy it.

One key thing...talk to GOD..talk less to folks in your business...Develope a relationship with true friends who care about your well being, through the thick and thin. I am blessed to have a few..Few the key word...Keep your eyes and heart in check. You will be fine..Now girl go enjoy your man!!!!

NOW THATS MY TWO CENTS IN THE BANK!!

[Optimystic 0]

hello my vj family:

I just want to break the news to you all. Uchenna proposed to me today. I was so surprised. He called me around 4am this morning and asked me over the phone. Right now Im walking on cloud nine. Im so so happy. I never even imagine this happening to me. I had to share this with my vj family first. I know people will be negative so I won't tell my family here yet. I know its early in our relationship but I just love him so much. Oh, and I did say yes!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited and I just can't hide it. Im about to lose control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uchegirl

CONGRATULATIONS and i wish u the best. however, i must tell you to be very careful. i know u said that the 2 of u met only a few weeks ago online and that does seem kinda fast. its not really my business but im gonna say this anyway b/c i feel you need to know this and also b/c after talking w/a few other people they have told me that if they knew back then what they know now, no marriage of any kind to a foreigner would have ever taken place.

keep ur ears and eyes wide open to all he does and SAY right now. it's very crucial you pay close attention to everything even with the distance between the 2 of you. im not trying to steer u in the wrong direction or anything, but so many USC's have brought their SO here on marriage based visas (K1,K3, CR1) and now just like Idocare said in an earlier post, they(SO) start doing things to frustrate you into leaving them or they just picking up and leaving you.

I know of a few here that are going thru that similar situation. Once the SO received his CPR or LPR they start tripping. And some start just as soon as the I-485(AOS) is filed. And what's even worst is when all hell break loose and they realize that you will not allow the AOS or the I-751 to proceed; that is when they find an immigration attorney and claim ASYLUM!!!! And it's not much you can do from there, b/c actually brotherman (or woman) don't really need you for that as long as he/she can show he entered into the marriage w/good faith.

I had no idea that they could do this, and it has happened to a girl here in LA and the SO is actually a friend of my husband and we all belong to the same Nigerian organization here & another one of my friends it has happened to is a past VJ member. It makes me wonder if some of those SO's that come here attend some kinda training b4 getting here and they learn exactly what to do & say to the USC in order to get that prestigious "greencard" that they want so badly even if they have to lie on the USC and make all kinds of accusations.

Actually, i have even said something to that effect at a UNO meeting and some of the members just looked at me and laughed and others just told me that all people are not the same. And some really do have good intentions, but some do scam to get here, by all cost. And another thing, some of the vj members that don't come around anymore has even told me that hind sight has made them realized that things were done and said that they should have picked up on, but b/c of being so much in love, they just brushed it off.

Uchegirl, just BE CAREFUL!!!!

Michele

While not the happiest of replies (points up), it's unfortunately true. Do as Michele says and watch and listen carefully.

I work for a large computer manufacturer. I've mentioned it before in regard to the issue of illegal immigrants. This time I'll be talking about the legal immigrants.

All of the guys (there are 9) who work in the chassis repair department are from Nigeria. Not only are they all from Nigeria, they are all from the same village/town in Nigeria. They all came to the US by marrying a USC. They all came here at roughly the same time, too. None of them are still married.

I'm not trying to frighten you, I'm just warning you to be careful. I'm sure none of the 9 former wives thought it would happen to them, either. It can happen to anyone. I honestly hope that all is as it seems and that you achieve happiness. Best of luck to you.

All of the guys (there are 9) who work in the chassis repair department are from Nigeria. Not only are they all from Nigeria, they are all from the same village/town in Nigeria. They all came to the US by marrying a USC. They all came here at roughly the same time, too. None of them are still married.

YIKES!!! O.K. thats scary ya'll!

[Jideprincess 0]

YIKES!!! O.K. thats scary ya'll!

TARI you aint right gurlllllll!! ahahhahahah.. **shaking my head**

[Optimystic 0]

I agree with both sides of the arguement -pros vs. cons and spirtitual vs. natural

Ahhh heck, what's a girl to do when you feel like you are caught on both sides of the fence?

Anyway, to piggy-back off the o.p.'s.... TAKE YOUR TIME... What God has for you, is just for you and can't no demon in hell steel it away! With that being said, if you feel that you are not ready to make that life long commitment, then you need to be true to yourself. Be forthcoming (No matter how brutally blunt you will have to be,) and tell him that you want to have an extended engagement. Any man who REALLY loves you won't pressure you or use manipulation tactics to persuade you into rushing into making such a life altering decision. Get to know him, (to the best of your ability, or a level that you feel comfortable with)even if that means that you must make several trips to Nigeria or another country to meet, interact, and spend time together before taking the plunge... Anyway, you are going to do what you want, when you want, and how you want, no matter what any of us here at this forum suggests...

In the words of Divorce Court judge Maybelline Ephriam..........

LOOK DEEP BEFORE YOU LEAP

YIKES!!! O.K. thats scary ya'll!

TARI you aint right gurlllllll!! ahahhahahah.. **shaking my head**

Chile, I was thinking, "Woahhhhh what is the probability of a situation like this occurring?"

Sure, immigrants being married to a USC and the marriage being disovled is one thing, but 9 and all of them Nigerian and working in the same department + arrived around the same time??????? If that ain't scary, what is?

Girl, I double dog dare Uche to come up in here and tell me he is switching career fields, and is going to work in the chassis repair department for X company!!!!!

Just watch me act a fool alright!

Edited June 23, 2006 by Optimystic

[Jideprincess 0]

Girl, I double dog dare Uche to come up in here and tell me he is switching career fields, and is going to work in the chassis repair department for X company!!!!!

Just watch me act a fool alright!

Well ummmm...I know where JIDE WILL NOT BE APPLYING ..but thats a shame though..well...watch as well as pray is all i can say....people gotta realize as I said, what u sow you shall reap. or

[BESANGIN 0]

Uchegirl,

I am going to tell you something that you need to take to heart, and if you don't walk away with nothing else you walk away with this. If that man cannot fund his own way to, from, and through the visa process, then girlfriend you need to set yourself up for a LONG engagement!!!!!! African men are culturally PRIDEFUL when it comes to being the head of the household, and if you don't allow him to be a man and make his way, you are setting yourself up for real problems. I know because me and my husband battled over that. So if he's gonna be the man in your household in the US, then he needs to show you NOW that he is a man of the household in NIgeria. You should not send him money, and if he guilts you into doing so then that will tell you the kind of man you are going to get, and I say run like HELL!!!! If he is your man and your fiance then he should be sending YOU money to prepare the household for his arrival. Don't let your longing to be together cloud your judgement. We went through unnecessary battles over this because my husband didn't feel like the immigration victory was ours because most of my money paid for it. We had to learn some HARD lessons and are still learning, but some things now are crystal clear to both of us. Take your time and be patient because if this man is your's from God, God is not gonna let anyone else have what He has set for you, and it will happen in His time. Go against that and you will already set yourself up for doom!!!!!!!!! Those of you who took time (YEARS) to get to know your SO I applaud you!!! For those who went the quick route like me, this is a hard journey, because all the blinders come off and you are getting to know and love the REAL person you married. It's hard, but love is worth the fight, but if you're not a fighter then you better take some time and know what you're doing. Part of this is my opinion and part of it is fact, take it or leave it. If it don't apply to you or you're in denial don't get an attitude with me. PM me. But, if that knot is welling up in your stomach because you can relate, you feel me, or you're scared cause I struck a nerve, then listen, PRAY, and take your time in your relationship. In the end it will be worth it! And that's all I have to say on that subject.

[Jideprincess 0]

Uchegirl,

So if he's gonna be the man in your household in the US, then he needs to show you NOW that he is a man of the household in NIgeria. You should not send him money, and if he guilts you into doing so then that will tell you the kind of man you are going to get, and I say run like HELL!!!! If he is your man and your fiance then he should be sending YOU money to prepare the household for his arrival. Don't let your longing to be together cloud your judgement.

It's hard, but love is worth the fight, but if you're not a fighter then you better take some time and know what you're doing. Part of this is my opinion and part of it is fact, take it or leave it. If it don't apply to you or you're in denial don't get an attitude with me. PM me. But, if that knot is welling up in your stomach because you can relate, you feel me, or you're scared cause I struck a nerve, then listen, PRAY, and take your time in your relationship. In the end it will be worth it! And that's all I have to say on that subject.

VERY WELL SAID MY SISTER!!! TRUE WORDS!!!

[joej 0]

hello my vj family:

I just want to break the news to you all. Uchenna proposed to me today. I was so surprised. He called me around 4am this morning and asked me over the phone. Right now Im walking on cloud nine. Im so so happy. I never even imagine this happening to me. I had to share this with my vj family first. I know people will be negative so I won't tell my family here yet. I know its early in our relationship but I just love him so much. Oh, and I did say yes!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited and I just can't hide it. Im about to lose control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uchegirl

CONGRATULATIONS and i wish u the best. however, i must tell you to be very careful. i know u said that the 2 of u met only a few weeks ago online and that does seem kinda fast. its not really my business but im gonna say this anyway b/c i feel you need to know this and also b/c after talking w/a few other people they have told me that if they knew back then what they know now, no marriage of any kind to a foreigner would have ever taken place.

keep ur ears and eyes wide open to all he does and SAY right now. it's very crucial you pay close attention to everything even with the distance between the 2 of you. im not trying to steer u in the wrong direction or anything, but so many USC's have brought their SO here on marriage based visas (K1,K3, CR1) and now just like Idocare said in an earlier post, they(SO) start doing things to frustrate you into leaving them or they just picking up and leaving you.

I know of a few here that are going thru that similar situation. Once the SO received his CPR or LPR they start tripping. And some start just as soon as the I-485(AOS) is filed. And what's even worst is when all hell break loose and they realize that you will not allow the AOS or the I-751 to proceed; that is when they find an immigration attorney and claim ASYLUM!!!! And it's not much you can do from there, b/c actually brotherman (or woman) don't really need you for that as long as he/she can show he entered into the marriage w/good faith.

I had no idea that they could do this, and it has happened to a girl here in LA and the SO is actually a friend of my husband and we all belong to the same Nigerian organization here & another one of my friends it has happened to is a past VJ member. It makes me wonder if some of those SO's that come here attend some kinda training b4 getting here and they learn exactly what to do & say to the USC in order to get that prestigious "greencard" that they want so badly even if they have to lie on the USC and make all kinds of accusations.

Actually, i have even said something to that effect at a UNO meeting and some of the members just looked at me and laughed and others just told me that all people are not the same. And some really do have good intentions, but some do scam to get here, by all cost. And another thing, some of the vj members that don't come around anymore has even told me that hind sight has made them realized that things were done and said that they should have picked up on, but b/c of being so much in love, they just brushed it off.

Uchegirl, just BE CAREFUL!!!!

Michele

While not the happiest of replies (points up), it's unfortunately true. Do as Michele says and watch and listen carefully.

I work for a large computer manufacturer. I've mentioned it before in regard to the issue of illegal immigrants. This time I'll be talking about the legal immigrants.

All of the guys (there are 9) who work in the chassis repair department are from Nigeria. Not only are they all from Nigeria, they are all from the same village/town in Nigeria. They all came to the US by marrying a USC. They all came here at roughly the same time, too. None of them are still married.

I'm not trying to frighten you, I'm just warning you to be careful. I'm sure none of the 9 former wives thought it would happen to them, either. It can happen to anyone. I honestly hope that all is as it seems and that you achieve happiness. Best of luck to you.

Although I don't doubt that there is scamming going on with men and women of all countries, I half to add that I have had my share of ex boyfriend loosers / scammers from the good old USA. Sure the scam is a different type, but hurts all the same.

Also, just a comment. It never fails for someone to connect Nigeria with Scam. If I had a nickle...........Romance scammers are from many different countries.

[PlatyPius 5]

*shrugs*

If they had been from Slovakia, I wouldn't have mentioned it. They aren't; they're from Nigeria.

There are others there from other countries who have done the same thing. This topic was about Nigeria. Ergo, I posted about what I know in relation to that.

The others that I'm aware of are from Kenya, Czech Republic, China, and Jordan.

[joej 0]

*shrugs*

If they had been from Slovakia, I wouldn't have mentioned it. They aren't; they're from Nigeria.

There are others there from other countries who have done the same thing. This topic was about Nigeria. Ergo, I posted about what I know in relation to that.

The others that I'm aware of are from Kenya, Czech Republic, China, and Jordan.

[Jideprincess 0]

Although I don't doubt that there is scamming going on with men and women of all countries, I half to add that I have had my share of ex boyfriend loosers / scammers from the good old USA. Sure the scam is a different type, but hurts all the same.

Also, just a comment. It never fails for someone to connect Nigeria with Scam. If I had a nickle...........Romance scammers are from many different countries.

EXACTLY what I been saying..Hurt is hurt...regardless, its no difference whether its for a green card or a new car, money a house..and they come in all colors and countries, sexes and ages...just gotta use common sense, instinct and wisdom regardless..Guard you heart, pray and enjoy life..So yeah im feeling ya sistah on that comment.

[sweetee 0]

Although I don't doubt that there is scamming going on with men and women of all countries, I half to add that I have had my share of ex boyfriend loosers / scammers from the good old USA. Sure the scam is a different type, but hurts all the same.

Also, just a comment. It never fails for someone to connect Nigeria with Scam. If I had a nickle...........Romance scammers are from many different countries.

EXACTLY what I been saying..Hurt is hurt...regardless, its no difference whether its for a green card or a new car, money a house..and they come in all colors and countries, sexes and ages...just gotta use common sense, instinct and wisdom regardless..Guard you heart, pray and enjoy life..So yeah im feeling ya sistah on that comment.

Yeah, true nuf! But just remember that sometimes common sense, instinct and wisdom are over powered by love...people just don't always see it.