how much do I put up with before deciding on divorce?

[dane 0]

OH MY GOD!!! THE LIMEY SPELLS 110% RIGHT ALL THE TIME. LET US ALL STAND AND APPLAUD THIS PERSONS ABILITIES OF SPELLING MISTAKE RECOGNITION!!! 3 CHEERS!! ....

shut up you pretentious idiot. you dont WAIT for anything to divorce someone, divorce is a option that is intended for a abusive relationships, or unforeseen circumstances, maybe even infidelity.

these days people like you use divorce as a get out of jail free card, its not get out of jail free...sit down and DO YOUR GOD DAMNED TIME.

you FAIL! AT LIFE! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS!

whats with the name calling?

Personally, I want to see how long your wife puts up with a man with an attitude like yours.

“only steers and queers come from Texas private cowboy, and you don’t much look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down” Full Metal Jacket 1987

you cant dispute Stanley Kubrick

this thread has nothing to do with my marriage, nor with my spelling, and references to either will be met with name calling and belittling.

yes, my attitude towards you and your "type" for lack of a better category, are as detailed.

no i dont name-call or belittle my wife, and you would be wise not to expect the same level of respect that i give my khand mishri.

i am going to forward my wife this thread and ask her what she thinks, and 10 times out of 10 shes going to agree with me.

i know it.

[Waldo 0]

What is Emotional Abuse?

There are various types of emotional abuse. Below is a list of characteristics that are emotionally abuse.

Rejecting

·Telling a person that they are unwanted

·Telling a person to leave

·Name-calling

·Telling the person they are worthless

·Making the person the scapegoat, blaming them for everything

Ignoring

·Does not show attachment

·Does not provide nurturance

·Does not show or express affection

·Physically there, but emotionally unavailable

·Does not recognize the other persons presence

·Uses the “silent treatment”

Terrorizing

·Singling out a person to criticize and punish

·Ridiculing him or her for displaying normal emotions

·Having expectations far beyond his or her normal abilities

·Threatening person with death, mutilation and abandonment

Isolation

·Not allowing person to interact with other

·Restricting person to a room

·Restricting eating to isolation or seclusion

·Restrict/monitoring phone calls

Corrupting

·Allowing minors to use drugs or alcohol

·Forcing others to watch pornographic material or sex acts

·Forcing someone to participate in or witness criminal activities

·Forcing someone to witness cruelty to animals

Ok that's fair. But how many and to what extent does one need to be emotionally abused before they should get a divorce? 1, 2, all? It all really depends on HER, not the advice of someone that has only heard one side of the story. If her feelings gets hurt by a guy she decided to get married after knowing for such a short time then should she be responsible for her COMMITMENT? no, yes?

[dane 0]

OH MY GOD!!! THE LIMEY SPELLS 110% RIGHT ALL THE TIME. LET US ALL STAND AND APPLAUD THIS PERSONS ABILITIES OF SPELLING MISTAKE RECOGNITION!!! 3 CHEERS!! ....

shut up you pretentious idiot. you dont WAIT for anything to divorce someone, divorce is a option that is intended for a abusive relationships, or unforeseen circumstances, maybe even infidelity.

these days people like you use divorce as a get out of jail free card, its not get out of jail free...sit down and DO YOUR GOD DAMNED TIME.

you FAIL! AT LIFE! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS!

whats with the name calling?

Personally, I want to see how long your wife puts up with a man with an attitude like yours.

I agree. I'm glad I'm not married to dane. Marriage should not be like "time" done in prison. LOL. I feel sorry for you dane. Hope your "time" goes quickly. Ha ha...

the hell are you people talking about...

the point i was trying to make was marriage is not not a suit u can return if you dont like it....its something you have to live with! so choose wisely before you jump into something, or u will be morally obligated to live with your choice.

dont feel sorry for me sister, my wifes gorgeous, we get along great, im her her living breathing security blanket and shes mine, we both make great money, and we have support from our friends and family, we are both the same race, religion, caste, creed, you name it.

by the way...just because we are discussing random and totally unrelated things like spelling, my marriage, purple bear ninjas...im 25 shes 23...and the sex?...yea...be jealous

so dont feel sorry...

[JODO 2]

OH MY GOD!!! THE LIMEY SPELLS 110% RIGHT ALL THE TIME. LET US ALL STAND AND APPLAUD THIS PERSONS ABILITIES OF SPELLING MISTAKE RECOGNITION!!! 3 CHEERS!! ....

shut up you pretentious idiot. you dont WAIT for anything to divorce someone, divorce is a option that is intended for a abusive relationships, or unforeseen circumstances, maybe even infidelity.

these days people like you use divorce as a get out of jail free card, its not get out of jail free...sit down and DO YOUR GOD DAMNED TIME.

you FAIL! AT LIFE! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS!

whats with the name calling?

Personally, I want to see how long your wife puts up with a man with an attitude like yours.

The name-calling is uncalled for and juvenile. The poster has just as much right to express his or her opinion as you do.

[sj5 4]

What is Emotional Abuse?

There are various types of emotional abuse. Below is a list of characteristics that are emotionally abuse.

Rejecting

·Telling a person that they are unwanted

·Telling a person to leave

·Name-calling

·Telling the person they are worthless

·Making the person the scapegoat, blaming them for everything

Ignoring

·Does not show attachment

·Does not provide nurturance

·Does not show or express affection

·Physically there, but emotionally unavailable

·Does not recognize the other persons presence

·Uses the "silent treatment"

Terrorizing

·Singling out a person to criticize and punish

·Ridiculing him or her for displaying normal emotions

·Having expectations far beyond his or her normal abilities

·Threatening person with death, mutilation and abandonment

Isolation

·Not allowing person to interact with other

·Restricting person to a room

·Restricting eating to isolation or seclusion

·Restrict/monitoring phone calls

Corrupting

·Allowing minors to use drugs or alcohol

·Forcing others to watch pornographic material or sex acts

·Forcing someone to participate in or witness criminal activities

·Forcing someone to witness cruelty to animals

Ok that's fair. But how many and to what extent does one need to be emotionally abused before they should get a divorce? 1, 2, all? It all really depends on HER, not the advice of someone that has only heard one side of the story. If her feelings gets hurt by a guy she decided to get married after knowing for such a short time then should she be responsible for her COMMITMENT? no, yes?

If he is not willing to change for her then I'd say anytime. I don't think she is bad wife.

[DanielParul 50]

So should we assume that you will divorce your SO at the drop of a hat as well? Hmm.

Don't assume. Thankfully we don't have to think of our marriage as doing time in jail. We compliment each other and are equals. After all cleaning your SO's poopy butt is not the only sign of true love...

[dane 0]

i feel that the 2 of them should function as 1 organism, change together by trying to accommodate each other...

both should change, both should try to facilitate the other, both should live with the choices they make.

So should we assume that you will divorce your SO at the drop of a hat as well? Hmm.

Don't assume. Thankfully we don't have to think of our marriage as doing time in jail. We compliment each other and are equals. After all cleaning your SO's poopy butt is not the only sign of true love...

yea but its a DAMNED GOOD ONE!

[Waldo 0]

So should we assume that you will divorce your SO at the drop of a hat as well? Hmm.

Don't assume. Thankfully we don't have to think of our marriage as doing time in jail. We compliment each other and are equals. After all cleaning your SO's poopy butt is not the only sign of true love...

I'm glad to hear that. Likewise why would you assume that Dane's relationship is like serving jail time when he is making a point that a couple should assume responsibility for making a commitment.

Thank GOD I fell in love with my wife before she wiped my butt. I think that would have been a turn off, but now I know I am secure for life. I'd do the same for her and she wont even have to ask!

[Loolie 56]

hi,

well im back...wow i just laughed from your comments about what i said...yeah its like evangelical or biblical or whatever you call about it...

i was raised by parents who struggled so much with their relationship as husband and wife...my mother never talked against my father to other people...coz my mother has respect for herself and for my father as his husband and they are still happy together...i said that to the lady whining about her husband coz its her second marriage now maybe she needs to grow up right..maybe the man doesnt have the problem maybe she does.....and being a wife you should be a housewife...i dont really believe in her story coz you are just reading her side you dont really know whats the story..thats why a lot of people here in usa or canada or whatever country which has a high rate of divorce kept on marrying and marrying and marrying because they want marriage to work out the way they want or the easy way...and if it doesnt happen...boom file for divorce..well sorry i wasnt raise like that...dont tell me people here want their husband or wife to talk something against them...have respect for yourself girl still its your husband...why you married him in the first place anyways..hehehehhehe..

divorce him coz his like that his like this...booohhh you people just kept on marrying and having divorce till you die... oh yeah this is the one you like right>>>>>>>“Wives submit yourself unto your husband as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). now make fun about it. bleh!

Thank you...i dont want to add anymore...you comment and comment until you guys be satisfied...hehehehhehe...be cool..

[mkg265 2]

Please OP, ignore the remarks of two certain gentlemen and focus on what you want and what will keep you safe. The stigma of divorce is an illusion society creates to keep it functioning. If you feel you are being abused, then leave. If you think that maybe you and him have had a bad week and only need counseling, then go for that option.

Don't take the advice of anyone that quotes Full Metal Jacket like it’s a life motto.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

because of the way you are thats why i said that...you as a wife has to submit yourself to your husband...you are not ready to do that.

what you were talking was such an immature thing...talking about not brushing the teeth and about your dog...etc etc.. i mean if you are matured enough and ready to be a wife...you wont talk something like that against your husband...if you think you dont love your husband anymore then file for divorce...you dont need to elaborate all the things that he does..my gosh...if your not a housewife type then just be his wife.

What the **** is this sh!t????

[Waldo 0]

If he is not willing to change for her then I'd say anytime. I don't think she is bad wife.

That's the thing. He never changed. If she didn't know him, got married to him, now wants to divorce him because he is everything she never wanted,... that would constitute a real big problem in my book. Thats what Dane is saying and bmtrrbt but everyone just keeps saying oh he's and #### girl friend get a divorce. Next time this gal should take a REAL LONG TIME to decide if it's the right one and what things she'll have to sacrifice in order to make a relationship. Obviously they didn't know each other.

[Waldo 0]

Please OP, ignore the remarks of two certain gentlemen and focus on what you want and what will keep you safe. The stigma of divorce is an illusion society creates to keep it functioning. If you feel you are being abused, then leave. If you think that maybe you and him have had a bad week and only need counseling, then go for that option.

Don't take the advice of anyone that quotes Full Metal Jacket like it’s a life motto.

I support the stigma of divorce! Unless you got married just for tax reasons. If so then get a divorce you lazy bums!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I agree with a few other posters...Don't listen to all that "Stay no matter what" #######...

If you aren't happy, find a way to make you happy and go for it with all your heart.

If that means working on it, work on it and give it your all (let's hope your husband does the same). If that means walking away, do it with pride and respect for yourself.

None of the people on this website matter...what matters is you and your happiness and only you can provide that to yourself. Be true and follow your heart...it's your life, not ours.

Wishing you all the best.

[dane 0]

If he is not willing to change for her then I'd say anytime. I don't think she is bad wife.

That's the thing. He never changed. If she didn't know him, got married to him, now wants to divorce him because he is everything she never wanted,... that would constitute a real big problem in my book. Thats what Dane is saying and bmtrrbt but everyone just keeps saying oh he's and #### girl friend get a divorce. Next time this gal should take a REAL LONG TIME to decide if it's the right one and what things she'll have to sacrifice in order to make a relationship. Obviously they didn't know each other.

waldo, that getting sick thing and the diarrhea.. it was just a carefully calculated ruse to see if if shed do it right?

yea...my wife too...clever devil...1 week before getting married she got food poisoning and a fever, and i had to carry her back home, after 30 minutes of vomiting (all over me mind you)

whenever im with her its a race to see who wakes up first to kiss the other person...bad breath or not.

and to further the point that this is superficial BS, i dont care if my wife just put down onions in fried garlic and fish curry.

if shes in the mood...shes rackin' em im breakin' em.

marriage is not all about good breath and some foreign fabio sweeping you off your feet.

mind you that most of you guys are newly weds, and before you sit there and forecast someone elses marriage and life, id probably take a step back and think if the fate you are predicting is the one that you are doomed to.

divorce has a societal stigma that is attributed to it so that society can function? maybe, but you have to live in this society, and believe it or not...most people care if everyone sees them as a 3 time divorcee

Edited February 26, 2009 by dane