how much do I put up with before deciding on divorce?

[Donna A 4]

Wow! There are some twisted personal opinions in this thread, many written really poorly. If you can't spell or string together a sentence, better not to say it at all eh?

If the OP is unhappy and feeling like the marriage isn't working, then she needs to do what she needs to do to better her situation. If she continues to stay and take shite from her miserable SOB husband, then oh well.

just because someone cant spell or string together a sentence doesnt mean they have no right to reply. maybe ur the one who should go get a life and not worry about what a person can or cant do to ur satisifaction. im sorry to tell u not everyone is as perfect as u think u are.

since i see u wear glasses that makes u substandard and maybe u shouldnt be writing either due to ur handicap because thats what ur saying to people who cant spell or put a sentence together. really its stupid what u wrote.

Edited February 27, 2009 by Donna A

[JayJay 4]

Wow, what you're going through sounds so much like the relationship I had with my ex well before it got totally out of control and violent. The silence (because every comment is belittled as though you are stupid); the breaking things (my ex once broke my umbrella in half in a rain storm just to show me he could); the saying "in my country we would hit women like you" (Oh man, I tell you - once he said "if it was legal to hit a woman, I'd f**kin beat you for saying that"...aaaand then later on that's exactly what happened ); the hurting in bed! My gosh! It's like a repeat - are you sure it's not my ex?

Anyhow, the thing is, this guy is totally insecure with a lot of issues. That's why he feels he has to control you like this. My ex wasn't a "brusher" (that's how he described it - "I've never been a brusher" - bleurgh!) either and he felt the need to control me in every way including the bedroom, where he felt he had the right to put me in pain most of the time. It's a total power trip - born from insecurity and a ton of horrible things happening to them as children. BUT - and it's a big but - you're not responsible for that. You did not make your guy into the person he is - and believe me, he still has a choice in his actions and the path he chooses to take.

My current, "forever" guy is wonderful - just great! But, he also witnessed his father trying to drown his mother in a moving washer when he was five. Does this mean he is going to do the same thing? Heck no! He also witnessed violence, like my ex, and chose a different way. So it's totally possible to actually have a grip on your own actions. There are no real excuses - reasons, sure, but those reasons cannot be taken out on other people mentally or physically, and they need to be delat with.

Your husband needs to get to a shrink, pronto. Of his own volition - not yours. He needs to work out why he has to break things to feel in control, and why he has to belittle you and hurt you in so many ways. It's not a moral way to live - he is not leading a morally right life, hurting another this way. He will only have one life and if he chooses to spend it acting like an idiot and causing pain, that's up to him, but if I were you, I'd tell him to get his butt to a psychotherapist and then I would leave him.

The whole "it's not all the time"; "maybe it really IS my fault"; "NOW he's being nice...maybe he'll stay nice"; "I'd better watch what I say or this moment of happiness could come crashing down"; "Maybe next time he'll be a considerate lover"; "why do I feel so afraid all the time?" - they're all signals that something is terribly wrong. He's going to continue behaving in a ridiculous manner, because it's what he's used to. You won't be able to stop him because it's not in you to have to yell at a guy all the time and make him listen to you (which he still won't, I expect, though hell probably enjoy the argument nonetheless).

All in all I'd recommend you do what I did - leave. Just up and leave one day. Go stay with some friends. You will find that the longer you stay, the more time you waste. At the end of that time, you'll look back and say... "wow, I wasted a bunch of time with that idiot". He needs to sort himself out on his own before having a relationship of any worth, with anyone.

Sorry if that sounded harsh, it's just, I've been there and in my personal experience (and also statistically speaking) it gets worse, not better. Don't let him be the one to try to suffocate you or throw you over the stairs before you finally realize "durr...maybe I shouldn't be here - this is kinda dangerous...". Yup, that was me...

*HUGE hugs* to you - nobody deserves this kind of crud. You're worth 1000 times more. Being alive and creative in the world is a whole hell of a lot better than being a statistic.

XXXX

[Caladan 19]

Dude. If you're honestly thinking "... well, at least he isn't hitting me..." things are not right. The absolute least you need to do is get a third party involved. Counseling. Some kind of support for you.

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

Wow, what you're going through sounds so much like the relationship I had with my ex well before it got totally out of control and violent. The silence (because every comment is belittled as though you are stupid); the breaking things (my ex once broke my umbrella in half in a rain storm just to show me he could); the saying "in my country we would hit women like you" (Oh man, I tell you - once he said "if it was legal to hit a woman, I'd f**kin beat you for saying that"...aaaand then later on that's exactly what happened ); the hurting in bed! My gosh! It's like a repeat - are you sure it's not my ex?

Anyhow, the thing is, this guy is totally insecure with a lot of issues. That's why he feels he has to control you like this. My ex wasn't a "brusher" (that's how he described it - "I've never been a brusher" - bleurgh!) either and he felt the need to control me in every way including the bedroom, where he felt he had the right to put me in pain most of the time. It's a total power trip - born from insecurity and a ton of horrible things happening to them as children. BUT - and it's a big but - you're not responsible for that. You did not make your guy into the person he is - and believe me, he still has a choice in his actions and the path he chooses to take.

My current, "forever" guy is wonderful - just great! But, he also witnessed his father trying to drown his mother in a moving washer when he was five. Does this mean he is going to do the same thing? Heck no! He also witnessed violence, like my ex, and chose a different way. So it's totally possible to actually have a grip on your own actions. There are no real excuses - reasons, sure, but those reasons cannot be taken out on other people mentally or physically, and they need to be delat with.

Your husband needs to get to a shrink, pronto. Of his own volition - not yours. He needs to work out why he has to break things to feel in control, and why he has to belittle you and hurt you in so many ways. It's not a moral way to live - he is not leading a morally right life, hurting another this way. He will only have one life and if he chooses to spend it acting like an idiot and causing pain, that's up to him, but if I were you, I'd tell him to get his butt to a psychotherapist and then I would leave him.

The whole "it's not all the time"; "maybe it really IS my fault"; "NOW he's being nice...maybe he'll stay nice"; "I'd better watch what I say or this moment of happiness could come crashing down"; "Maybe next time he'll be a considerate lover"; "why do I feel so afraid all the time?" - they're all signals that something is terribly wrong. He's going to continue behaving in a ridiculous manner, because it's what he's used to. You won't be able to stop him because it's not in you to have to yell at a guy all the time and make him listen to you (which he still won't, I expect, though hell probably enjoy the argument nonetheless).

All in all I'd recommend you do what I did - leave. Just up and leave one day. Go stay with some friends. You will find that the longer you stay, the more time you waste. At the end of that time, you'll look back and say... "wow, I wasted a bunch of time with that idiot". He needs to sort himself out on his own before having a relationship of any worth, with anyone.

Sorry if that sounded harsh, it's just, I've been there and in my personal experience (and also statistically speaking) it gets worse, not better. Don't let him be the one to try to suffocate you or throw you over the stairs before you finally realize "durr...maybe I shouldn't be here - this is kinda dangerous...". Yup, that was me...

*HUGE hugs* to you - nobody deserves this kind of crud. You're worth 1000 times more. Being alive and creative in the world is a whole hell of a lot better than being a statistic.

XXXX

You're a wonderful, brave woman, and thank you for sharing that with us. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and to the OP :: hugs ::.

I've had a similar experience where I've been a victim of emotional, mental and some minor physical abuse because of my family (whom I'm now estranged from). I tried to do what they wished, tried to fulfil my "duty" as they decreed -- but it was just destroying me, and they were never satisfied; the only point they would be would be at the point that I was utterly broken and had abandoned everything I cared for. My mother and older brother in particular enjoyed their little power trips. I could have chosen to be the same way as a result of what I did, but I have chosen never to do anything like that to anyone, ever. Nobody should have to go through that.

Magpie.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Having watched a few of my friends deal with abusive relationships, the biggest thing I came to recognize is those "glimmer of hopes" and how confusing those glimmers can be. Once their SO would come around and be affectionate, apologetic, or what have you - they saw hope, and would just chalk up an abusive episode to a bad day, or whatever else excuse they wanted to apply to it. Abusers are not simply angry 24 hours a day, which somehow seems to be a misconception. Just something I observed.

To your bolded part I would add: and after a while, one gets really good at excusing the behavior...really good.

amen!

[doodlebugg 10]

If you want to salvage your marriage and even make it a good one then you need to set aside a few hours where both of you can be alone and talk without any distractions.

The first thing I would talk about is the way he makes you feel, but try not to make it all "you're bad, you do this, etc.". Bring up your concern about the way he treats the dog. Make him know this is serious and not just a "oh don't do that" and forget about it type thing. Try wording like, "I fell this way when this is done".

It sounds like he does have a temper and that needs to be controlled if you're going to be able to work on any of the bigger issues you've laid out. If he can get a handle on it then try to be gentle and let him know the way you feel about a lot of the things he does. Sounds like you're from a different culture and that's a big thing to deal with. Know the cultural differences and try to understand his point of view. He probably never cooked a day in his life and was catered to by the women in the family and that is normal where he's from. My husband was the same way. He was waited on hand and foot at home and expected all women to be similar, though one difference is that he knew ahead of time that American women are different and I made that quite clear to him from the beginning.

The first week I cooked amazing meals from Egypt, Mexico, and the US to see what he liked. I had the week off. After that, unless I was on vacation, the meals weren't able to be as extravagent and I could see he was disappointed. He would never tell me that was the reason but I knew he hoped that things would be as good when I was working. Well he got over that fast once he saw my schedule for real and he started pitching in. Sometimes maybe it takes time for them to internalize the whole difference.

As far as the sex, maybe he never had experience in that dept and doesn't know anything about how a woman's body works save for the obvious. Try to gently bring that subject out in the open by saying that you want him to know how your body works as well as you know since you're married. Again instead of "you don't do this right", you can say, "it feels better when......".

Just my two cents and good luck!

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

guys, lets keep in mind before you jump down the husbands throat, that this is basically a disgruntled woman coming online to feel empowered.

if a husband came on here and started bitching like this, i would say the same thing.

its fantastic that you would think about divorce after 1.5 years...

this is what i detest about modern american morals. when you get married, you are making a promise to each other that you are going to stay with each other no matter what. (not just if your sposes teeth are splashed with listerine, or if he likes your dog, or if the sex is great)

i love the corn balls that, come online and are the first ones to scream DUMP HIM!! FORCED SEXZ IS TEH BAD!!11!one!!1

ABUSING AMINALZ IS 4 CEREAL KILLAZ!!!

i read this womans essay on how horrible her husband is, and you know what?!

if your idea of clean is wiped down, sanitary enough so that there are no insects or rats etc...you have problems, if you have "clean" dishes with almost no food on them laying all over the kitchen and cloths thrown about the house and ###### laying all over but its "clean" guess what?! ITS NOT CLEAN! and YOUR A PIG!

if i walk into my kitchen and there is ###### strewn about helter skelter, and a sink full of dishes, and the dogs pulling stuff out of the trash can. im going to call my wife and demand some god damned answers, and whoop that dogs ####, i dont care if the dog is an heirloom from her dear departed aunt tilly.

and u know what else? im not holding any double standards here. if my wife walks into my garage, and sees engine parts strewn about, a disabled car, tranny fluid all over the floor, calls me in there and tells me that shits not going to fly like this in her house. im going to be a grouchy little indian and clean up my mess. if the yard is a mess with leaves or the snow is not shoveled, i know my wife and shes going to stab me.

as far as sex:

im a guy, and my view is as follows: it is your mutual responsibilities to keep each other satisfied.

if you want him to brush his teeth before you go to bed, then yes he should brush his teeth before he goes to bed, and do essentially what it takes to keep you happy.

but if he was sex 2 times a night 7 days a week... then pony up...hes gotta do it for you too.

forced sex? i doubt hes raping you, as in punching you out, and literally forcing him self onto you, i can however believe he insists on sex...which is not uncommon, its something married folks do...bang him.

as far as your dog:

its a dog, if its causing trouble in your marriage...get rid of it.

and people need to keep in mind that she has some awful habits of her own that shes not even mentioning here...how do you know what shes like? dont support her divorcing her husband! stuff like this is the the characterization of the decay of moral standards in this country. you should have know about his machismo before you married him. you made your bed..now lay in it.

OBVIOUSLY IF HES BEATING YOU UP, AND RAPING YOUR DOG, AND KILLING BABIES...devoice him

Wow, what a cold SOB!

###I think I would get rid of YOU before I would my dog. She is much sweeter and for sure gentler. And she has been there longer for the writer than the hubby has. BTW, You yourself need to be "devoiced" if you can figure out what I mean....lol

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

guys, lets keep in mind before you jump down the husbands throat, that this is basically a disgruntled woman coming online to feel empowered.

if a husband came on here and started bitching like this, i would say the same thing.

its fantastic that you would think about divorce after 1.5 years...

this is what i detest about modern american morals. when you get married, you are making a promise to each other that you are going to stay with each other no matter what. (not just if your sposes teeth are splashed with listerine, or if he likes your dog, or if the sex is great)

i love the corn balls that, come online and are the first ones to scream DUMP HIM!! FORCED SEXZ IS TEH BAD!!11!one!!1

ABUSING AMINALZ IS 4 CEREAL KILLAZ!!!

i read this womans essay on how horrible her husband is, and you know what?!

if your idea of clean is wiped down, sanitary enough so that there are no insects or rats etc...you have problems, if you have "clean" dishes with almost no food on them laying all over the kitchen and cloths thrown about the house and ###### laying all over but its "clean" guess what?! ITS NOT CLEAN! and YOUR A PIG!

if i walk into my kitchen and there is ###### strewn about helter skelter, and a sink full of dishes, and the dogs pulling stuff out of the trash can. im going to call my wife and demand some god damned answers, and whoop that dogs ####, i dont care if the dog is an heirloom from her dear departed aunt tilly.

and u know what else? im not holding any double standards here. if my wife walks into my garage, and sees engine parts strewn about, a disabled car, tranny fluid all over the floor, calls me in there and tells me that shits not going to fly like this in her house. im going to be a grouchy little indian and clean up my mess. if the yard is a mess with leaves or the snow is not shoveled, i know my wife and shes going to stab me.

as far as sex:

im a guy, and my view is as follows: it is your mutual responsibilities to keep each other satisfied.

if you want him to brush his teeth before you go to bed, then yes he should brush his teeth before he goes to bed, and do essentially what it takes to keep you happy.

but if he was sex 2 times a night 7 days a week... then pony up...hes gotta do it for you too.

forced sex? i doubt hes raping you, as in punching you out, and literally forcing him self onto you, i can however believe he insists on sex...which is not uncommon, its something married folks do...bang him.

as far as your dog:

its a dog, if its causing trouble in your marriage...get rid of it.

and people need to keep in mind that she has some awful habits of her own that shes not even mentioning here...how do you know what shes like? dont support her divorcing her husband! stuff like this is the the characterization of the decay of moral standards in this country. you should have know about his machismo before you married him. you made your bed..now lay in it.

OBVIOUSLY IF HES BEATING YOU UP, AND RAPING YOUR DOG, AND KILLING BABIES...devoice him

Wow, what a cold SOB!

###I think I would get rid of YOU before I would my dog. She is much sweeter and for sure gentler. And she has been there longer for the writer than the hubby has. BTW, You yourself need to be "devoiced" if you can figure out what I mean....lol ALSO, even the way you start your writing---geeze, you have absolutely no understanding of marriage or human behavior. You are assuming it's the woman's fault--that much is obvious....I pity YOUR wife!!! Anybody with a brain knows that mistreating an animal just shows that the person thinks with his/her fists instead of the brain. So go take Psych 101 and start learning a little bit about human compassion and behavior...

[PRBaby 0]

First I want to say, I am so sorry you are going through this, you do "NOT" deserve this treatment. I can not believe some of these responses from some of these people, give me a break.

First of all, many women chater for their man, I for one do, but "NOT" because it is expected of me, but because "I" choose to. If my husband were to demand, or expect me to be this way, there would be no way in hell that I would do it. Marriage is a two way street, and that means, if you choose to treat him in a certain way, he better dam well be treating you in a way that makes you happy also.

You are obviously "NOT" happy, my advice, I would get out as fast I could, the longer you stay, the longer and more dangerous it will become. He is emotionally abusive to you and you worry he will become phyically, which in most cases, that is exactly what is going to happen. I am going to "ASSUME" this man is African, please correct me if I am wrong, but he has the traits that "MANY" (NOT all) have, especially when he speaks about what he would do the women in his country. This man is obviously a bully, and is trying to take control of your mind, DO NOT let him do that, it will only hurt you more. I wish you the best, and I will Pray you get strong enough to make the right choice.

PRBaby

[dane 0]

guys, lets keep in mind before you jump down the husbands throat, that this is basically a disgruntled woman coming online to feel empowered.

if a husband came on here and started bitching like this, i would say the same thing.

its fantastic that you would think about divorce after 1.5 years...

this is what i detest about modern american morals. when you get married, you are making a promise to each other that you are going to stay with each other no matter what. (not just if your sposes teeth are splashed with listerine, or if he likes your dog, or if the sex is great)

i love the corn balls that, come online and are the first ones to scream DUMP HIM!! FORCED SEXZ IS TEH BAD!!11!one!!1

ABUSING AMINALZ IS 4 CEREAL KILLAZ!!!

i read this womans essay on how horrible her husband is, and you know what?!

if your idea of clean is wiped down, sanitary enough so that there are no insects or rats etc...you have problems, if you have "clean" dishes with almost no food on them laying all over the kitchen and cloths thrown about the house and ###### laying all over but its "clean" guess what?! ITS NOT CLEAN! and YOUR A PIG!

if i walk into my kitchen and there is ###### strewn about helter skelter, and a sink full of dishes, and the dogs pulling stuff out of the trash can. im going to call my wife and demand some god damned answers, and whoop that dogs ####, i dont care if the dog is an heirloom from her dear departed aunt tilly.

and u know what else? im not holding any double standards here. if my wife walks into my garage, and sees engine parts strewn about, a disabled car, tranny fluid all over the floor, calls me in there and tells me that shits not going to fly like this in her house. im going to be a grouchy little indian and clean up my mess. if the yard is a mess with leaves or the snow is not shoveled, i know my wife and shes going to stab me.

as far as sex:

im a guy, and my view is as follows: it is your mutual responsibilities to keep each other satisfied.

if you want him to brush his teeth before you go to bed, then yes he should brush his teeth before he goes to bed, and do essentially what it takes to keep you happy.

but if he was sex 2 times a night 7 days a week... then pony up...hes gotta do it for you too.

forced sex? i doubt hes raping you, as in punching you out, and literally forcing him self onto you, i can however believe he insists on sex...which is not uncommon, its something married folks do...bang him.

as far as your dog:

its a dog, if its causing trouble in your marriage...get rid of it.

and people need to keep in mind that she has some awful habits of her own that shes not even mentioning here...how do you know what shes like? dont support her divorcing her husband! stuff like this is the the characterization of the decay of moral standards in this country. you should have know about his machismo before you married him. you made your bed..now lay in it.

OBVIOUSLY IF HES BEATING YOU UP, AND RAPING YOUR DOG, AND KILLING BABIES...devoice him

Wow, what a cold SOB!

###I think I would get rid of YOU before I would my dog. She is much sweeter and for sure gentler. And she has been there longer for the writer than the hubby has. BTW, You yourself need to be "devoiced" if you can figure out what I mean....lol ALSO, even the way you start your writing---geeze, you have absolutely no understanding of marriage or human behavior. You are assuming it's the woman's fault--that much is obvious....I pity YOUR wife!!! Anybody with a brain knows that mistreating an animal just shows that the person thinks with his/her fists instead of the brain. So go take Psych 101 and start learning a little bit about human compassion and behavior...

learn how to work a message board.

everyone online becomes a psychiatrist. so youve been married way more times than me...that makes you understand marriage better than myself right?

i didnt assume it was her fault, i said before anyone dishes out advice please remember there is another side of the story.

this is why marriage counselors dont get 1 person in there and start counseling them, they put both people in a room and hear both sides of their stories, and their complaints, and frustrations.

i showed what this lady wrote to my my friend who is a ivy league psychiatrist who is a close friend of mine, she says it sounds like there is some problems with their marriage but nothing that cant be fixed with a little understanding, a lot of things the poster said sent up some red flags, indicating that she knows that she is not 100% innocent, but dosnt want to readily admit that.

but what the hell a PHd from colombia dosnt know much about anything.

my self... im an engineer, i go to work everyday i work in construction i knew my wife since i was 17, i married her at 25, i work everyday for her and only her, i signed a checkbook full of checks for her, and gave her her own credit card attached to my account, i dont ask questions i just pay her bills. the month i got married i took out a 250k life insurance policy on myself with her as the sole beneficiary, (shes my wife, her well being is my responsibility, it would boon many of you to remeber that your spouse is your responsibility) . i call her every day long distance on the damned phone every day, when i wake up, when i get lunch from work, and before i go to sleep. we havnt missed a day in 9 months... bloody 200.00 LD charges...

we fight enough, but in the end, we remeber the promises we made, and how much we love eachother.

people have to learn to compromise, and stop taking other peoples advice, this forum is a great place to get help answering questions and getting support while waiting for your significant other to get here, but a lot of the people here...

i love how american citizens marry a foreign national, and then the first thing you do when ur foreign spouse fights with you is throw a visa and their status in their face.

i may have a macho, IM THE PROVIDER, IM THE MAN attitude, but atleast im sure my wife is small and safe, and happy, and ill never make her feel like she owes me money, or like she owes me something for her visa, shes still the same girl i always knew...

i read this thread...and thats all a lot of people said...visa, us citizen, go back to his/her country, where ever he/shes from.

maybe love isnt the right word anymore, maybe the majority of people should start saying "im in convinience with you"

...think before you marry..

[DanielParul 50]

Oh! the ####### behind the keyboard has spoken again! He doesn't stop!

About your sacrifices for your beloved wife -

my self... im an engineer, i go to work everyday i work in construction i knew my wife since i was 17, i married her at 25, i work everyday for her and only her, i signed a checkbook full of checks for her Most people here do that boy!

and gave her her own credit card attached to my account, i dont ask questions i just pay her bills Just 1? thats not good enough

the month i got married i took out a 250k life insurance policy on myself with her as the sole beneficiary, (shes my wife, her well being is my responsibility, it would boon many of you to remeber that your spouse is your responsibility) Not again! only 250k, thats not even half of what my husband did.

i call her every day long distance on the damned phone every day, when i wake up, when i get lunch from work, and before i go to sleep. we havnt missed a day in 9 months... bloody 200.00 LD charges... wha?????? not even close to $1500 my husband paid every month on our phone bills.

i love how american citizens marry a foreign national, and then the first thing you do when ur foreign spouse fights with you is throw a visa and their status in their face. I love how this man is here on VJ petitioning for a K3 for his wife and he keeps talking about USCs marrying foreign nationals!

[dane 0]

Oh! the ####### behind the keyboard has spoken again! He doesn't stop!

About your sacrifices for your beloved wife -

my self... im an engineer, i go to work everyday i work in construction i knew my wife since i was 17, i married her at 25, i work everyday for her and only her, i signed a checkbook full of checks for her Most people here do that boy!

and gave her her own credit card attached to my account, i dont ask questions i just pay her bills Just 1? thats not good enough

the month i got married i took out a 250k life insurance policy on myself with her as the sole beneficiary, (shes my wife, her well being is my responsibility, it would boon many of you to remeber that your spouse is your responsibility) Not again! only 250k, thats not even half of what my husband did.

i call her every day long distance on the damned phone every day, when i wake up, when i get lunch from work, and before i go to sleep. we havnt missed a day in 9 months... bloody 200.00 LD charges... wha?????? not even close to $1500 my husband paid every month on our phone bills.

i love how american citizens marry a foreign national, and then the first thing you do when ur foreign spouse fights with you is throw a visa and their status in their face. I love how this man is here on VJ petitioning for a K3 for his wife and he keeps talking about USCs marrying foreign nationals!

most people have their savings of over 60k accessible through those checks right?

yes, 1 credit card, visa, 75k credit-line, unlike you shes dosnt need 4 credit cards to add up to 6000 usd.

a 250k life insurance policy coupled with securities in NYSE: GLD, ED, and JPM and a few foreign stocks, and that much in the bank, a house, and whatever else my parents may do for her (as they love her) was enough security for her, on top of that she er self is a nurse anesthetist.

im sure your husband took out a zillion dollar policy on himself for you, what is the going rate for infantry deployed over seas?

hold on some quick shut up math:

army infantry 28k a year...after tax 21500.00 usd

1500.00 phone bill x 12 = 18000.00 usd

21500-18000 = 3500 usd

100k life insurance policy for soldier on active duty > 1500.00 usd but for the sake of this argument lets assume 1500.00

3500-1500 = 2000.00

2000.00 usd annual savings

out of that: plane tickets to india, 1500 -2k, credit cards, foreign transaction fees, USCIS processing fees...its clear where i am going with this

either you are lying, or you have the only husband striking it rich as a serviceman.

my guess is lying because every desi that has a need to boast will claim that their baap is the MP of bihar, and there mother is jansi ki rani, you must be from mumbai only people from mumbai can flagrantly tell such transparant lies without even flinching.

im petitioning for a i-130 and a k3, born us citizen, married my wife who is an indian citizen, i dont understand your comment about foreign nationals...i never said dont marry a foreign national, all i said was if you marry one, treat them with the respect and dignity that you would anyone else, dont throw their status, and visa in their face every time you fight.

pendu behavior shines though even from behind a computer

[marieke 1]

Oh! the ####### behind the keyboard has spoken again! He doesn't stop!

About your sacrifices for your beloved wife -

my self... im an engineer, i go to work everyday i work in construction i knew my wife since i was 17, i married her at 25, i work everyday for her and only her, i signed a checkbook full of checks for her Most people here do that boy!

and gave her her own credit card attached to my account, i dont ask questions i just pay her bills Just 1? thats not good enough

the month i got married i took out a 250k life insurance policy on myself with her as the sole beneficiary, (shes my wife, her well being is my responsibility, it would boon many of you to remeber that your spouse is your responsibility) Not again! only 250k, thats not even half of what my husband did.

i call her every day long distance on the damned phone every day, when i wake up, when i get lunch from work, and before i go to sleep. we havnt missed a day in 9 months... bloody 200.00 LD charges... wha?????? not even close to $1500 my husband paid every month on our phone bills.

i love how american citizens marry a foreign national, and then the first thing you do when ur foreign spouse fights with you is throw a visa and their status in their face. I love how this man is here on VJ petitioning for a K3 for his wife and he keeps talking about USCs marrying foreign nationals!

most people have their savings of over 60k accessible through those checks right?

yes, 1 credit card, visa, 75k credit-line, unlike you shes dosnt need 4 credit cards to add up to 6000 usd.

a 250k life insurance policy coupled with securities in NYSE: GLD, ED, and JPM and a few foreign stocks, and that much in the bank, a house, and whatever else my parents may do for her (as they love her) was enough security for her, on top of that she er self is a nurse anesthetist.

im sure your husband took out a zillion dollar policy on himself for you, what is the going rate for infantry deployed over seas?

hold on some quick shut up math:

army infantry 28k a year...after tax 21500.00 usd

1500.00 phone bill x 12 = 18000.00 usd

21500-18000 = 3500 usd

100k life insurance policy for soldier on active duty > 1500.00 usd but for the sake of this argument lets assume 1500.00

3500-1500 = 2000.00

2000.00 usd annual savings

out of that: plane tickets to india, 1500 -2k, credit cards, foreign transaction fees, USCIS processing fees...its clear where i am going with this

either you are lying, or you have the only husband striking it rich as a serviceman.

my guess is lying because every desi that has a need to boast will claim that their baap is the MP of bihar, and there mother is jansi ki rani, you must be from mumbai only people from mumbai can flagrantly tell such transparant lies without even flinching.

im petitioning for a i-130 and a k3, born us citizen, married my wife who is an indian citizen, i dont understand your comment about foreign nationals...i never said dont marry a foreign national, all i said was if you marry one, treat them with the respect and dignity that you would anyone else, dont throw their status, and visa in their face every time you fight.

pendu behavior shines though even from behind a computer

get your little willies's out and measure please.

Come on people!

[DanielParul 50]

exaclty dane, I bet your baap is the MP of bihar or jharkhand and your bebe is noorjahaan and your 'khand mishri' is cleopatra. You are the baap of desi pedu behavior (PHD does not mean educated). About the boasting. u started it. So STFU. Apne maa-baap. khand mishri ko sambhal ke rakh. Izzat utarni mujhe bhi aati hai. But i don't want to get into it with a low standard man who wants to arue with women to pass his time. Some PHD!!

[Jenn! 918]

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