I think I was Used

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

I'm really sorry for the pain you've felt over this. I hope you can forget about him but remember the lessons learned. I had a friend who went and visited her online love in Cairo and married him while she was there. She then sent him $ whenever she could until she met another woman on our group of American women married to Egyptians that was also married to the SAME MAN and sending him $$$$.

Come to find out he had 4 or 5 American and European "wives" who were all sending him money! AND HE HAD AN EGYPTIAN WIFE WHO KNEW ALL ABOUT IT! Wonder he said she was his "sister" when she walked past him while he chatted on the cam with the Western Wives???? She didn't mind him going off for a week or two every time one of his western benefactors came to visit... she was living a life of luxury she never dreamed of from his "occupation".

I do like the idea of a "DontMarrythisMENAMAN.com" site.. like this site http://dontdatehimgirl.com/home/ bet it could save at least a few hearts from being broken, and a few wallets from being drained...

Be strong... this too shall pass... Hugz

Edited February 26, 2009 by KHPerfectMatch

[Sailor Moon 2]

Where is he so I can give him a power slam? No, just kidding, really it is his loss and God will see you are given a much better man soon who loves you truly for whom you are, I promise you that.

IF HE OWES U MONEY AND DID NOT RETURN IT BACK ON TIME,CALL HIS WORK EVRY DAY MAYBE 3 TO 4 TIMES ,THIS WILL MAKE HIM LOOK BAD AT HIS WORK PLACE AND MAY RETURN UR MONEY BACK OUT OF FEAR OF LOSSING HIS JOB...THIS ADVICE WAS GIVVIN OUT OF MY OWN EXPERINCE

[*Maureen* 0]

Where is he so I can give him a power slam? No, just kidding, really it is his loss and God will see you are given a much better man soon who loves you truly for whom you are, I promise you that.

IF HE OWES U MONEY AND DID NOT RETURN IT BACK ON TIME,CALL HIS WORK EVRY DAY MAYBE 3 TO 4 TIMES ,THIS WILL MAKE HIM LOOK BAD AT HIS WORK PLACE AND MAY RETURN UR MONEY BACK OUT OF FEAR OF LOSSING HIS JOB...THIS ADVICE WAS GIVVIN OUT OF MY OWN EXPERINCE

or maybe she can take him to Judge Judy...lol but seriously, he did you a favor, better it happen now than invest more time with a "user". wishing you the best and take care of yourself.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I'm really sorry for the pain you've felt over this. I hope you can forget about him but remember the lessons learned. I had a friend who went and visited her online love in Cairo and married him while she was there. She then sent him $ whenever she could until she met another woman on our group of American women married to Egyptians that was also married to the SAME MAN and sending him $$$$.

Come to find out he had 4 or 5 American and European "wives" who were all sending him money! AND HE HAD AN EGYPTIAN WIFE WHO KNEW ALL ABOUT IT! Wonder he said she was his "sister" when she walked past him while he chatted on the cam with the Western Wives???? She didn't mind him going off for a week or two every time one of his western benefactors came to visit... she was living a life of luxury she never dreamed of from his "occupation".

I do like the idea of a "DontMarrythisMENAMAN.com" site.. like this site http://dontdatehimgirl.com/home/ bet it could save at least a few hearts from being broken, and a few wallets from being drained...

Be strong... this too shall pass... Hugz

OMG.....

[raymaga 25]

I have said it once, and I'll say it again and again and again.... how the heck can anyone send money to SOMEONE they have never met??????

Especially.............. when you know the fraud level in these countries.

I agree that you need to give up on the revenge thing.... the only person that will hurt is you. Letting go and moving on is the fastest and safest way to get healing.

Best wishes to you.

Edited February 27, 2009 by raymaga

[nunyab 0]

Monica,

sounds like you're well on your path to getting out of it.. you will have good days and bad days... fill the empty time with studies, work and friends in the flesh. Make yourself if you have to and if he comes to your mind block it until thinking about him hisn't painful. those are my suggestions... We're here for you. as you heard his loss...

[lost in Egypt 4 u 0]

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

I always promised myself that I would never let something like this happen to me. I'm always cautious with the people I meet in real life and those I meet online.. I'm paranoid in a lot of things and am always careful with what I do. I let him in and this is what I got, now I'm stuck trying to make ends meet. I know that I will be fine, eventually. I really hope he gets what he deserves. I would be lying if I said that I don't want to get revenge cause I do, I really do, maybe with time the revenge thing will go away. I'm still left with wanting to visit Cairo someday not for revenge but because I'm really interested in going there. I wonder how many times he's done this before? I feel like I should post his picture with a warning attached to it so no one will come near him.

Thank you to every one of you, I wish all of you the best in your Visa Journey.

-Monica

Monica ,if u want to do other women a favor post his pic on here because i think he is trying to get other women in different countries .

I been dealing with the same thing... i was waiting for K1 for 2 years and all those promises how he just loves me and not the green card .

Bull.............. its all about them......and for those who think they will be happy........ good luck to u all .....only they will never tell what really happend to then ..because i know a lot of women on here that have been there and going through it right now.... only they r married already and have to deal with abuse .What r u women looking for? A man without a job and no money? Don't fool yourself .....even if they r Dr.s ..its not the same as here.

[My Mohammed 2]

Monica ,if u want to do other women a favor post his pic on here because i think he is trying to get other women in different countries .

I been dealing with the same thing... i was waiting for K1 for 2 years and all those promises how he just loves me and not the green card .

Bull.............. its all about them......and for those who think they will be happy........ good luck to u all .....only they will never tell what really happend to then ..because i know a lot of women on here that have been there and going through it right now.... only they r married already and have to deal with abuse .What r u women looking for? A man without a job and no money? Don't fool yourself .....even if they r Dr.s ..its not the same as here.

What was you looking for when you found yours? Is he a doctor since you mention them? Why do they have to deal with abuse.. all these other women you know? Not in American does a woman HAVE to deal with abuse. Why don't you put a pic of yours instead of trying to get someone else to? You sound very bitter and it's not going to help you to heal, to try and convince the rest of us we are going to be in your shoes one day.

There's nothing wrong with letting your steam out, but don't try to act as if you KNOW all of our SO, because you don't. If you know your man is preying on other VJ members, then spill the beans about him. You're not saying anything to help any of us, except put down our SO, which you don't know anything about.

[MonicaUSA 0]

I'm not going to say how much money I sent him. I've been talking with some friends about my situation, I've told them everything in detail.

Now I can't say for sure what he did but I can't say that he scammed me just yet. I won't post his picture or do anything that will compromise his privacy or his life. I am making serious accusations on someone and if they turned out to not be true..tell me would it be worth it ruining his life? I would not be able to live with myself if these accusations turned out to be false. I'll just keep my head up and keep going. I'd actually like to also note that I should not have made a post in these forums but I did so what I can do now. I did it out of hurt and resentment, I needed someone to talk to and I wanted someone else's view on this besides mine. No I was not planning to marry him yet and yes I am aware that I "fell" for the person that I know online and not for who he is in real life. I'm not here for you to tell me that I was wrong and that I made a mistake, I can punish myself and deal with the consequences without having someone else doing the same. I was going to meet him and take it from there. It was idiotic to send him money but I knew the risks and did it anyway.

Now if he were to see this thread I am positive that I'll lose him forever, no we are not "together" but I want to see what happens without me doing things to push him away.

I wish all of you the best, Take care

-Monica

[Henna Rose 0]

WOW ! Hope everything works out for the best which may or may not be what you hoped for, but God always sees the big picture even when we are unable Please don't send more $$$ treat yourself to a spa service instead !!

~ Monica (aka Henna)

[teenutty 0]

Dear Monica:

I am sorry. But my feeling is that it was very unwise of you to give money to him. Especially if you are a college student. You make it sound like it was a loan. Or an investment into your "relationship" based on future expectations.

I have given money to an old boyfriend who needed lithotrypsy for a kidney stone. I made it clear in my mind before I wired the money, "don't ever expect that money to be paid back." It wasn't.

I think the thing to be verrrryyy careful of is long distance relationships where you are both still in the courtship phase. There are many people out there looking to take advantage of someone who is very trusting and kind hearted. If you are going to give/loan money, don't ever expect it to be paid back.

The fact that your "boyfriend" threatened to "disappear" from your life if you mentioned to his employers the situation, speaks for itself. Also that he is "blocking you from the chats" is another sign that he is distancing himself from you after receiving the money. I will say that these are not good signs. Both imply he's manipulative for his own benefit.

I don't know what kind of work he does, but I would reconsider saying something to his employers if you are so inclined.

How do you know you are the only woman he has a long distance relationship with???? Remember, just because you know so much about him and have met his family means nothing about what he does on the computer. And if he financially benefits, his family probably benefits also.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I suggest you move on and forget this man. He has already displayed some RED FLAGS which we MENA Gals/Guys would steer clear of.

Best of luck to you....

Teenutty

Edited March 3, 2009 by teenutty

[SaadBell 0]

Sorry for your loss, I have some knowledge of scammers, I used to bait them, which means I make up a person, get a fake pic and put it on some sleazy dating site or sign guest books that are known for scammers. It takes about two days for my set up email to become full with offers of marriage and money. Most of the scams come from Nigeria, but lately they are coming out of the wood work in northern Africa. I will give you some sites that deal with scammers, and go and have a look and get educated. YOU ARE NOT STUPID, remember these scum bags are good at what they do, and we Americans have big old hearts, and tend to trust. You hang in there and if you want to talk or need something just let me know, you will get through this, I promise you that.

http://romancescams.org/

http://www.419eater.com/

[Henna Rose 0]

I have some knowledge of scammers, I used to bait them,

was this for your school research or just personal satisfaction? Interesting websites, btw !

Edited March 3, 2009 by Henna Rose

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

One of the things Josephs uncle suggested I do early on was study romance scams and 419 scams because so many people just assume if you are white and your SO is Nigerian it has to be a scam. It is remarkable how these scammers can brainwash people. I know of more than one person who fell in love with a models picture and a reportedly high paying job off a dating site and even when it was revealed that the person on the other side of the computer screen was a totally different person both in looks and earnings have continued the relationship to the point of making the big trip to file for immigration benefits for the person. To think that someone who started a relationship based on lies to ask for your money can be an acceptable spouse is just beyond comprehension. It is heartbreaking enough when someone like the OP gets taken by these frauds. And they impact they have on the process for those of us from Nigeria and other high fraud countries is terrible.