I think I was Used

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Its not the end, feel lucky you found out early, there are good and bad in all places. One thing i can never get is all this attachment BEFORE you meet. Most of us have been there done that and can try to tell someone, dont send money, dont get so involved before you meet but most dont listen. THis process requires alot of (step easy) steps to feel it out. Even after meet and marry some are surprised so again just feel lucky and move on

[EtherealVocalist 0]

Can you imagine if you got him here, then after he gets his greencard, lets you down? That would have been devastating !!!

He did use you and its sad that he knew you were a student struggling to make ends meet and he took advantage of your kindness anyway.

It makes me sick thinking of that, it really sux

But yes! There is light at the end of the tunnel! As people said, its a learning experience. Try to sharpen your "scam" alert alarms and move on.

Trust me, I was in a 6 years relationship in which the guy didnt work, gave me lies, excuses to not go find a job, and after playing warcraft for

hours, I got sick of it and kicked his a$$ out the door. Buhbye! Enough is enough!

You'll be fine huney - it will take time, but you'll be!! Smile, its a beautiful day!

[*JG* 2]

Just look at it as a learning experience and move on. Delete all his contact info you have of him and move on.

Exactly.

So sorry.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Just move on. Forgive & forget.

[Ban Hammer 13,558]

so how much money did he get you for?

[RAKASA 0]

so how much money did he get you for?

That's a tacky question, Charles! To the OP, I agree w/ the others who've said move on & consider it a learning experience. I wish you well.

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

Hello everyone I'm Monica

I had another account that I had just registered maybe about a week ago but had yet to post in the forum because I was getting a feel for the board. Sorry if this in the wrong thread

Well I was so happy and excited that I had someone. We had discussed marriage but not taken it too seriously because we had about 16 months of knowing each other. There wasn't going to be an answer until we both met and seen if something was possible. He is from Cairo, Egypt.

I am so upset because i believe that he was only using me (money) I feel so ashamed for believing him and giving him money. Me being a college student I really don't have much but I did what I could to help him. I believed everything he said, I had talked to his sisters briefly, seen his mom..we did cam to cam chats a lot or through skype we had cam and voice chats. I had too much access into his personal life, even have his job resume..have family pictures, everything that tells you that he's being honest with you including job info and some access to job stuff and would not dare lie to you..because I had all his info..including his home address. (I mailed him letters which leads me to believe it was his home)

Well now he said, we should just be friends being as he started to get so "busy" with work and said he did not have time for anyone else. It hurt a lot but I agreed to it, and did see it as being best for "us." During that conversation he started to tell me that we would be friends and that I would always have him as my friend as someone that will encourage me and give me his opinions in matters that I needed help with. He even promised that even if it took him years he would still return me the money. Maybe I'm wrong here but I just found out that he was blocking me from the chats! I have this feeling that he said all that to me because I can potentially harm his career or life, since I have so much access. To be honest if I found out he was/is using me the most I would do was tell his sisters, I'd consider the job thing but it's his livelihood I really can't be that cruel, he made it clear he doesn't want them to know, threatened me with disappearing from my life if i mention it to one of them. What an a**hole...silly side of this is that I still care for him a lot. I hope so much that I'm in the wrong here but something tells me that he just can't wait to get rid of me.

I really need someone's opinion, I'm going crazy with all of this and just need to see the light. What hurts so much, that just kills me is that I somewhat fell for him and had already started to look ahead as to what the future could bring for us and all of it was just some lie coming from him.

Can someone just give me some advise or just tell me that I'll be fine?

-Monica

Sweetheart, you are young, you will be fine. These things actually do make you stronger. He was just an ####### trying to suck money from a trusting woman. Think of it this way: Just be glad you are not married to him and pity the next woman. I know it's hard to understand. My mom always said to me "You don't understand criminals cuz you don't think like one." Thank God that is soooo true!!! He will have to answer to God for these things, so move on, and try to let it go.

[JODO 2]

Just chalk it up as a learning experience and write off the money. Like others have said, you could have been more emotionally involved with this guy than you are now and that would not have been a good thing. You can always visit Egypt if you want, but just stay away from this guy.

Good Luck

[Aymsgirl 0]

Sure you are hurt but hey, you never met the guy in person so you really didn't know him at all. His family could have been in on it or maybe not. You have no idea what he is telling them about you. It takes a long time for married people to try and think they know their spouses let alone to know and trust a guy you never actually touched or spent time with outside of a pc.

I'm sorry that you had to go through this but you will take this with you as a life lesson. I hope that one day your heart will heal and your purse.

Best wishes!

[Ban Hammer 13,558]

so how much money did he get you for?

That's a tacky question, Charles! To the OP, I agree w/ the others who've said move on & consider it a learning experience. I wish you well.

well you know me

[ya falaha! 0]

Agreed 100%. It could have been a LOT worse.

In the future, please do not send money to anyone you only know from online. I hope he didn't get you for too much.

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

[maya62 7]

Several thoughts...

1) You don't actually love him... you love who/what you thought he was, which is like loving a unicorn or a dragon, or some other make-believe creature. The truth is that he is just a common scammer... someone from his own real life pretty much confirmed it.

2) Feeding anger and resentment towards him will only hurt you. I concur with the forgive and forget crowd.

3) Consider your money went to pay your tuition at the School of Hard Knocks. I think most people have to pay at some point. I know I did.

4) Be thankful that you missed out on these possible outcomes: being dumped as soon as he had a greencard, or worse, being dumped pregnant as soon as he had a greencard, or even worse yet, being dumped with some kind of incurable STD as soon as he had a greencard. Coulda been a lot worse!

Be gentle with yourself while you are healing from this.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Like they say down at the free clinic, what goes comes around, comes around. He's gonna get his one day, you can be assured of that. Take care of yourself and remember time heals all wounds.

[LucyLovesRicky 0]

Hello everyone I'm Monica

I had another account that I had just registered maybe about a week ago but had yet to post in the forum because I was getting a feel for the board. Sorry if this in the wrong thread

Well I was so happy and excited that I had someone. We had discussed marriage but not taken it too seriously because we had about 16 months of knowing each other. There wasn't going to be an answer until we both met and seen if something was possible. He is from Cairo, Egypt.

I am so upset because i believe that he was only using me (money) I feel so ashamed for believing him and giving him money. Me being a college student I really don't have much but I did what I could to help him. I believed everything he said, I had talked to his sisters briefly, seen his mom..we did cam to cam chats a lot or through skype we had cam and voice chats. I had too much access into his personal life, even have his job resume..have family pictures, everything that tells you that he's being honest with you including job info and some access to job stuff and would not dare lie to you..because I had all his info..including his home address. (I mailed him letters which leads me to believe it was his home)

Well now he said, we should just be friends being as he started to get so "busy" with work and said he did not have time for anyone else. It hurt a lot but I agreed to it, and did see it as being best for "us." During that conversation he started to tell me that we would be friends and that I would always have him as my friend as someone that will encourage me and give me his opinions in matters that I needed help with. He even promised that even if it took him years he would still return me the money. Maybe I'm wrong here but I just found out that he was blocking me from the chats! I have this feeling that he said all that to me because I can potentially harm his career or life, since I have so much access. To be honest if I found out he was/is using me the most I would do was tell his sisters, I'd consider the job thing but it's his livelihood I really can't be that cruel, he made it clear he doesn't want them to know, threatened me with disappearing from my life if i mention it to one of them. What an a**hole...silly side of this is that I still care for him a lot. I hope so much that I'm in the wrong here but something tells me that he just can't wait to get rid of me.

I really need someone's opinion, I'm going crazy with all of this and just need to see the light. What hurts so much, that just kills me is that I somewhat fell for him and had already started to look ahead as to what the future could bring for us and all of it was just some lie coming from him.

Can someone just give me some advise or just tell me that I'll be fine?

-Monica

Consider yourself lucky that he didn't milk you dry of finances and use you for a Visa, And if you married him you'd have a 2-4 year wait to be with him anyway. Believe me, it a hell on earth beyond belief. Chalk it up to life experience, and try and be more carefull next time.

No need to seek revenge because usually all that does is cause pain and regret to yourself and brings no relief or satisfaction.

[Sandrila 1]

consider yourself lucky to see the "light" now and not after marriage or wasting even more money

sorry sweetie