I think I was Used

[MonicaUSA 0]

Hello everyone I'm Monica

I had another account that I had just registered maybe about a week ago but had yet to post in the forum because I was getting a feel for the board. Sorry if this in the wrong thread

Well I was so happy and excited that I had someone. We had discussed marriage but not taken it too seriously because we had about 16 months of knowing each other. There wasn't going to be an answer until we both met and seen if something was possible. He is from Cairo, Egypt.

I am so upset because i believe that he was only using me (money) I feel so ashamed for believing him and giving him money. Me being a college student I really don't have much but I did what I could to help him. I believed everything he said, I had talked to his sisters briefly, seen his mom..we did cam to cam chats a lot or through skype we had cam and voice chats. I had too much access into his personal life, even have his job resume..have family pictures, everything that tells you that he's being honest with you including job info and some access to job stuff and would not dare lie to you..because I had all his info..including his home address. (I mailed him letters which leads me to believe it was his home)

Well now he said, we should just be friends being as he started to get so "busy" with work and said he did not have time for anyone else. It hurt a lot but I agreed to it, and did see it as being best for "us." During that conversation he started to tell me that we would be friends and that I would always have him as my friend as someone that will encourage me and give me his opinions in matters that I needed help with. He even promised that even if it took him years he would still return me the money. Maybe I'm wrong here but I just found out that he was blocking me from the chats! I have this feeling that he said all that to me because I can potentially harm his career or life, since I have so much access. To be honest if I found out he was/is using me the most I would do was tell his sisters, I'd consider the job thing but it's his livelihood I really can't be that cruel, he made it clear he doesn't want them to know, threatened me with disappearing from my life if i mention it to one of them. What an a**hole...silly side of this is that I still care for him a lot. I hope so much that I'm in the wrong here but something tells me that he just can't wait to get rid of me.

I really need someone's opinion, I'm going crazy with all of this and just need to see the light. What hurts so much, that just kills me is that I somewhat fell for him and had already started to look ahead as to what the future could bring for us and all of it was just some lie coming from him.

Can someone just give me some advise or just tell me that I'll be fine?

-Monica

[dillon 6]

Just look at it as a learning experience and move on. Delete all his contact info you have of him and move on.

[Imua 0]

Just look at it as a learning experience and move on. Delete all his contact info you have of him and move on.

I agree - been there done that and you're never going to see any of that money again. The karma is on him and just be thankful you didn't get to K-1 stage.

[MoroccanInTexas 24]

Monica,

I am sorry that you have to go through all this. What ever story he is telling you it does not add up. IMHO just move on, it is his loss not yours.

Good thing that you found out now , before you started the process of bringing him her.

God bless

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

[childress_london 3]

It's hard to believe that there are people out there that would go through all of that just to use you, but there are. Some people have no conscience. Like everyone has said, at least be thankful you found out now and not after you had filed for K-1. Just file it away as a lesson learned.

[MonicaUSA 0]

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

I always promised myself that I would never let something like this happen to me. I'm always cautious with the people I meet in real life and those I meet online.. I'm paranoid in a lot of things and am always careful with what I do. I let him in and this is what I got, now I'm stuck trying to make ends meet. I know that I will be fine, eventually. I really hope he gets what he deserves. I would be lying if I said that I don't want to get revenge cause I do, I really do, maybe with time the revenge thing will go away. I'm still left with wanting to visit Cairo someday not for revenge but because I'm really interested in going there. I wonder how many times he's done this before? I feel like I should post his picture with a warning attached to it so no one will come near him.

Thank you to every one of you, I wish all of you the best in your Visa Journey.

-Monica

[Jasman0717 9]

Just look at it as a learning experience and move on. Delete all his contact info you have of him and move on.

Great advise, sometimes hard to do but really great advise

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

What happened to you is a type of romance scam. Try goggling the term and you will get an idea of how many are hit by such things. Some send their entire savings to people based of a picture stolen form a modeling site, others deal with people that the have seen, if only on web cam. Some don't loose any money and I have read of several with losses over $100,000. They prey on innocent people seeking a connection and have some reason for needing money. I some countries known for fraud whole families will help just to get the money. There are wives that put on the act of being a sister or cousin and watch their spouse with another woman for the sake of money. Be glad that it ended early and you didn't waste more time on it. Forget the revenge thing, it only wastes more time from moving on. If you want to warn others many romance scam sites have photo data bases of these jerks and would happily take his photo

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Hello everyone I'm Monica

I had another account that I had just registered maybe about a week ago but had yet to post in the forum because I was getting a feel for the board. Sorry if this in the wrong thread

Well I was so happy and excited that I had someone. We had discussed marriage but not taken it too seriously because we had about 16 months of knowing each other. There wasn't going to be an answer until we both met and seen if something was possible. He is from Cairo, Egypt.

I am so upset because i believe that he was only using me (money) I feel so ashamed for believing him and giving him money. Me being a college student I really don't have much but I did what I could to help him. I believed everything he said, I had talked to his sisters briefly, seen his mom..we did cam to cam chats a lot or through skype we had cam and voice chats. I had too much access into his personal life, even have his job resume..have family pictures, everything that tells you that he's being honest with you including job info and some access to job stuff and would not dare lie to you..because I had all his info..including his home address. (I mailed him letters which leads me to believe it was his home)

Well now he said, we should just be friends being as he started to get so "busy" with work and said he did not have time for anyone else. It hurt a lot but I agreed to it, and did see it as being best for "us." During that conversation he started to tell me that we would be friends and that I would always have him as my friend as someone that will encourage me and give me his opinions in matters that I needed help with. He even promised that even if it took him years he would still return me the money. Maybe I'm wrong here but I just found out that he was blocking me from the chats! I have this feeling that he said all that to me because I can potentially harm his career or life, since I have so much access. To be honest if I found out he was/is using me the most I would do was tell his sisters, I'd consider the job thing but it's his livelihood I really can't be that cruel, he made it clear he doesn't want them to know, threatened me with disappearing from my life if i mention it to one of them. What an a**hole...silly side of this is that I still care for him a lot. I hope so much that I'm in the wrong here but something tells me that he just can't wait to get rid of me.

I really need someone's opinion, I'm going crazy with all of this and just need to see the light. What hurts so much, that just kills me is that I somewhat fell for him and had already started to look ahead as to what the future could bring for us and all of it was just some lie coming from him.

Can someone just give me some advise or just tell me that I'll be fine?

-Monica

It will take time, but you will be fine. Im sure your pride and ego AND feelings are hurt. but as someone said, use this as a learning experience and try to move forward.

[Staashi 371]

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

Monica, JeanneVictoria is totally correct. You got off very easy. Some people go through this whole visa journey only to find out that it was all a scam - you are lucky that it happened now before you turned your whole life over to the Department of State and USCIS. Love is a worthy, noble cause, and it makes us do crazy things. You are hurting now, but if you just read through the VJ boards here and there, you'll see some fraud stories that will make your stomach turn - you will realize how blessed you are to have made this discovery now rather than 4 or 5 years down the line.

[MonicaUSA 0]

What happened to you is a type of romance scam. Try goggling the term and you will get an idea of how many are hit by such things. Some send their entire savings to people based of a picture stolen form a modeling site, others deal with people that the have seen, if only on web cam. Some don't loose any money and I have read of several with losses over $100,000. They prey on innocent people seeking a connection and have some reason for needing money. I some countries known for fraud whole families will help just to get the money. There are wives that put on the act of being a sister or cousin and watch their spouse with another woman for the sake of money. Be glad that it ended early and you didn't waste more time on it. Forget the revenge thing, it only wastes more time from moving on. If you want to warn others many romance scam sites have photo data bases of these jerks and would happily take his photo

Well I can see that it was a scam, not sure if he did it exactly like the ones listed on the sites, but he did it his way and got what he wanted. I'm actually starting to feel a lot better, I've cried my eyes out for the past 4 days and I really just want to stop being weak..I have to get it together, I have this "I'll show you" attitude but I don't know how long it will last. I should have believed it when his mom said I was too good for him..unless she was part of the scam..should have believe it anyways. My family actually knew about him, he talked to my mom, they just didn't know about the money. I "think" his family pictures are real, watching his adorable little "nieces" on cam and talking to some of his "nephews" did add a nice touch to get me to trust him though. Even when I was watching the cam, when his sister and her husband were together with the baby added more to it. I'm still sorting through everything in my head and things do add up to what he was doing, I think he was being honest with the family thing but just had a different agenda.

What I don't get is why he still keeps insisting that he's being true when I've pretty much already told him what I suspect and I know to be true. I've added everything up to him, he knows I know..he's staying away from me but he knows I've pretty much figured him out. It's only a matter of time before he completely disappears, the last time I talked to him was this morning and he was a little rude so I let him have it. I know that I should completely remove him from my contacts but I am actually curious to see how long he's going to pretend to continue this "game."

This is the page/site that got me to open my eyes and realize what he was doing, even though I suspected it that just verified it for me. (Link) The whole part about him staying away, coming home "late" from work and always being with his friends but still answering my calls. From now on I'm sticking to people I can actually touch and hold...no more internet "romance" no more chat rooms...although I don't go to chat rooms..I'm not taking any more chances.

I'm just going to get my head into work and hopefully block everything out. I'll stay away from him and will remove him..I just need closure and still feel like I need to let him have it some more.

I have my little dog to care for, he's been crying along with me , I just love him to death, so I'll keep myself busy in having fun with him too.

-Monica

Edited February 25, 2009 by MonicaUSA

[R and F 34]

Where is he so I can give him a power slam? No, just kidding, really it is his loss and God will see you are given a much better man soon who loves you truly for whom you are, I promise you that.

[MonicaUSA 0]

Although it is not right what he did, just consider yourself VERY LUCKY you didn't petition for him to come to the states. Don't beat yourself up. It could have much much worse.

Good luck Monica.

Monica, JeanneVictoria is totally correct. You got off very easy. Some people go through this whole visa journey only to find out that it was all a scam - you are lucky that it happened now before you turned your whole life over to the Department of State and USCIS. Love is a worthy, noble cause, and it makes us do crazy things. You are hurting now, but if you just read through the VJ boards here and there, you'll see some fraud stories that will make your stomach turn - you will realize how blessed you are to have made this discovery now rather than 4 or 5 years down the line.

Believe me Staashi I do feel so lucky to known now, on the previous account that I had, I had actually done a lot of reading of this board and I mean a lot..I read through those stories, they freaked me out so I continued searching for more info and came upon the site I linked above. I can't believe that he actually told me, "you know if I was lying to you or scamming you I would have done it until I got the greencard and look I don't have it and I'm still here." He did "warn" me, he asked me "how sure i was that I could trust him?" of course it was a ploy to see how much I trusted him and to get me to believe that he was being honest. I already changed all my passwords on everything just in case. He only had access to one of my email accounts..good thing I don't use it for important matters, and I lied to him about the others I was naive, even though he got the money, I made sure that he would not get anything else...like my financial info from my official email.

-Monica

[Perseverance 1]

Dont beat yourself up. Its not worth it. Learn from it. Let it make you a stronger person. B) Move on. B) It could have been SOOOO much worse. Chock this up to one of life's lessons, you learned this one...you dont need to do it again