Easing the transition to the U.S.

[Rob_Lesya 4]

I'll add another on the patience!

Absolutely. It catches me by surprise occasionally when Vika does something goofy like mixing laundry, or insisting that she MUST have six new PINs for calling Ukraine (not five, not seven), and gets a little hysterical when things go wrong. She projects such an image of confidence most of the time that I forget how new and strange things are.

We had lunch at Subway a couple of days ago for example, and as most of you know things move quite fast in Subway at lunchtime. Vika was bewildered by the process and the menu, although her English is very good. I was very surprised (although in retrospect I shouldn't have been) that she was unable to keep up, and took lots of time to explain the process to her after the fact (sweetie, don't tell them what vegetables you want until the sandwich is out of the warmer and in front of the kid). She was unhappy with the experience - and it had nothing to do with the food. I am learning to do a slow ten-count in these situations, and I try to slow the bus down so she can ride too, rather than making her run behind. It is a constant challenge, but I know that in time she will be driving any way - so ruslaptis (relax)!

An excellent post! And it reminds me of one of the things that you can do before she arrives that will help greatly --- it may seem like a very small thing, but it can help. During the months that you're waiting for her to arrive, when you visit different restaurants in your city make a note of which ones have pictures on their menu and which ones don't. Even if she speaks fairly good English, to be handed a menu that lists perhaps 100 different items and be expected to read through it, understand it, and make a decision in just a few minutes can be very stressful for them and can lead to a very unpleasant restaurant experience for everyone. What you thought was going to be a very nice, sweet, romantic and special evening can very quickly turn into a night from hell. If there's pictures on the menu to help them make their choice, it can make the situation much easier to deal with.

And I'll add an additional on the patience. It reminds me of one of the things which caused one of our biggest fights.

She had been here for less than a week at the time. It was Saturday morning and I was leaving to go into work for a few hours. She had looked through the pantry and found the pancake mix and was beginning to make pancakes as I left. A few hours later I returned home. While I was gone she apparently had gone though the pantry and now had a few items lined up on the counter. She began going through each one and asking me, "What is this?" She then opened up the refrigerator and pointed to the pancake syrup and asked, 'What is this?" I said, 'It's pancake syrup." She had a confused look on her face so I explained, 'It's a sweet syrup that you put on your pancakes." Then I remembered that she had been preparing pancakes when I left that morning and so I asked, "And what did you put on YOUR pancakes this morning?" She gave me a bewildered look and said, 'well.... jam, of course" I then jokingly said something like, "Ohhh... you silly Russians!" She then turned bright red, began cursing at me, stormed into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. She literally didn't speak to me for like 2 full days.

The point is -- almost EVERYthing is going to be new to her, even things that people who have lived here their entire lives take for granted or don't even think about (like whether or not a restaurant menu has pictures.... what's the proper thing to put on your pancakes..... or why the price that's listed on a pricetag isn't the price that you actually pay when you get to the cashier! ). Try to take time to show her EVERYthing, don't be surprised by ANY questions that she asks, and never, EVER speak ill about Russia, Russians, or Russian customs or traditions (at least until you're sure she's become fairly well adjusted to her new life here).

It can... no.. it WILL be frustrating at times--- for HER and for YOU --- but overall, it will be a truly amazing adventure!

[mox 298]

Some good points, but remember also that she's not an idiot. Don't explain unless she looks confused or asks questions...let her explore a bit and work it out on her own. (I remember the time I started to explain gift cards...she cut me off and said "Of course I know this, Russians are not cavemen you know!")

Rob also makes a good point to not insult the motherland, but also keep your trap shut tight when she inevitably flies off the handle about how stupid things are in the US. That's just the way it's going to be for awhile, maybe even forever, so deal with it. As has been pointed out many times, she gave up a helluva lot more than you gave up, so deal with it. Unless you are Slim, in which case I'm not really sure who got the short end of that stick.

The pancake story is a good example of why you should familiarize yourself with the culture before she gets here. The great thing about finding a real Russian tutor is that you can pick her brains on culture before your fiancee gets here, which will give you a break from learning when to say -aya and when to say -yaya, and she'll most likely be more than happy to give you multiple crash courses. My tutor was worth her weight in gold for that alone. She even came over and cooked for me occasionally, and I learned a lot from that alone.

[lee b 2]

Everyone thanks so much for all of the advice. I have found a personal tutor to teach me the language. Since patience is not my strongest trait I think trying to learn as much as I can in what will hopefully only be a few months will help to develop it. I am lucky in that her mother already lives in New York so they will be closer which is a blessing for the both of them.

I really just wanted to thank everyone for their time and advice. You guys have pointed out things that I had never even considered. I look forward to spending much more time on these forums and learning more about the entire process from everyone here.

[Rob_Lesya 4]

Just for the record, I've been travelling to Russia pretty regularly since the mid 80's (yes, even since the Soviet days) so consider myself pretty familiar with the culture. I knew she had probably used jam on her pancakes --- I was just trying to make a silly joke with her... and it backfired horribly.

Some good points, but remember also that she's not an idiot. Don't explain unless she looks confused or asks questions...let her explore a bit and work it out on her own.

And all of this comes down to knowing HER .. sometimes she might be willing to tell you that she doesn't understand and needs your help. Other times, she might be embarrassed to say that she doesn't understand, and it's up to you to realize she needs help. All women are a mystery that most men have a difficult time understanding... Russian women perhaps more so.

But hopefully you've taken time to get to know HER and to get to know her culture as Mox says. Pay attention in your visits with her and in your conversations with her to clues about her likes and dislikes, what she understands about America and what she doesn't. I firmly believe that the most important factor in any successful marriage is good, open communication. It wasn't there in my first marriage. I saw the warning signs even during the courtship, but kept telling myself, "Oh, it will get better once she's here", etc.... but it didn't. And I paid the price for it. Lesya, on the other hand, is just the opposite. It's almost communication overload! I have a hard time believing that two people could actually spend SOOOOO much time talking about SOOOO many different subjects. And she has no hesitation about letting me know when she thinks I'm an idiot -- but she gladly accepts the fact that I'm sometimes an idiot..... and I gladly accept the fact that she's sometimes a little goofy herself. After all, if each of us was perfect.... life together would be totally BORING!!!

also keep your trap shut tight when she inevitably flies off the handle about how stupid things are in the US.

Agreed -- be tolerant and try not to become defensive at these thoughts. You can learn an awful lot about America and American customs and things we take for granted when you see them through her eyes.

[Rob_Lesya 4]

I am lucky in that her mother already lives in New York so they will be closer which is a blessing for the both of them.

That's great! Then you've got a HUGE advantage!! It will help cut down on some of the problems related to homesickness and hopefully Mom will (if she hasn't already) be able to help explain some of the strange American quirks... like taxes, insurance, retirement accounts, the fact that you're expected to work like a slave with no time off , etc.

Good luck to you!

[mkg265 2]

I wanted to add my two cents (no Russian wife but I've got an Albanian husband!)

When I moved to Albania, the hardest part for me the change in diet. Europeans and Americans often eat at different times. Try to agree on a dinner time that suits both of you. My husband wants dinner at 9 or 10 and I'm happy to eat at 6 or 7 so we eat at 8:30 or so and I have a snack at 5:30 so I can make it till then. Take her to the grocery store so she can pick out what she wants to eat (and cook)! If she can't find a product in the store she wants, try to search for it in the Amazon.com grocery section. It may seem stupid to miss a certain salad dressing or candy but when that is all you have, it means the world.

Celebrate Russian Holidays. My husband made sure I had fireworks for the 4th of July and birthday cake for my birthday (Albanians don't do cake for birthdays). I plan to celebrate his saint day too. We're different religions but he is used to celebrating that day so why not? Does anyone really need an excuse to eat cake and drink wine?

Research to find a "Little Russia" in your community. Even in small communities there are always a few Russian expats!

There a tons of movies online and you can even watch the "evening news" in foreign countries when you add a package to your cable plan.

[slim 1,525]

She was unhappy with the experience - and it had nothing to do with the food. I am learning to do a slow ten-count in these situations, and I try to slow the bus down so she can ride too, rather than making her run behind. It is a constant challenge, but I know that in time she will be driving any way - so ruslaptis (relax)!

I tried this approach for a while... and then totally abandoned it.

When she first arrived, I thought, "OK. She just got here, she'll be upset over some things and then she'll start to get used to how it works and then she'll make adjustments." Boy was I wrong! I'd do the ten-count, take a few breaths, and just shrug off all the puzzled looks I got from everyone in the entire store. They knew she was foreign, right? I'd take my time explaining how things worked and how she could go about getting what she wanted but she'd have to go about it in an American way, not HER way right away. "This is how it works here. If you want it like this, you can get it, but you have to do it like this, OK?"

Well, after a few months of, "I want how I want and I not will be happy til I got it" I started to get really irritated and switched my approach. A nice tall glass of STFU served with a side of "you'll take what you get and you'll like it."

Needless to say, that didn't really make her very happy. I can't begin to count the number of silent dinners we had at nice restaurants or times she'd sit and pout for literally hours on end because not only did she not get what she wanted, but her husband was an @$$#0le about it as well. "How dare him for not going out of his way to accomodate my feelings and desires."

Well, truth be told, I want her to get everything she wants. I want her feelings and desires to be fulfilled. But, I'm a realist, and I realize that not every flunky sandwich artist is going to go out of his way to accomodate her feelings. And that's not what concerns me. I'm sure she could figure out a way to get her sandwich. What concerns me is when she's cutting in line at the grocery store (What line? I not see this fat woman with four kids already stand here because she not makes looks like she want go in za cashier) and she ends up getting beat down or shot in the parking lot because she refuses to do things "the American way."

She's still not 100% assimilated (she still places her money down on the counter, right past the outstretched hand of the flunky cashier) but at least she's getting more acclimated to how things are done here. "OK. You already in line here?" (Although she still considers standing in a gaggle around the cashier as "being in line.") I really don't think she would be where she is today without that glass of STFU every time she looked for positive reinforcement whenever she demanded to be accomodated in an unorthodox request, and that worked in very short order compared to the ten-count.

Bottom line is I felt it was more important for her to be safe and knowledgeable of how things work here (and not cause a danger to herself as a result) than for her to feel good about getting what she perceived as "what she wanted."

Obviously, your mileage may vary, but trust me, I know what you're going through right now! Patience, brother. Patience. And if you need to borrow any of my STFU I have about a half a case left out in the garage.

An excellent post! And it reminds me of one of the things that you can do before she arrives that will help greatly --- it may seem like a very small thing, but it can help. During the months that you're waiting for her to arrive, when you visit different restaurants in your city make a note of which ones have pictures on their menu and which ones don't. Even if she speaks fairly good English, to be handed a menu that lists perhaps 100 different items and be expected to read through it, understand it, and make a decision in just a few minutes can be very stressful for them and can lead to a very unpleasant restaurant experience for everyone. What you thought was going to be a very nice, sweet, romantic and special evening can very quickly turn into a night from hell. If there's pictures on the menu to help them make their choice, it can make the situation much easier to deal with.

In my personal experience it wasn't that she couldn't understand the menu, it was that she was looking for the "non-deep-fried, organic, fresh, homemade, Russian" section of the menu. More often than not (99.9999% of the time) it wasn't there. For some reason, when there are seven items listed on the menu my wife spends more time looking for "what else" she could get or how they could mix this menu item with that menu item or take half of this one and put it with that one than on actually choosing what she wants. "Oh, it comes with a potatoes. Can you do with salad.... I not want side salad I want this Caesar salad. Of course I want $9 salad whis entree. Really I want like half but I can't got it so I will be do whis whole."

As a funny side note, my wife's sister came here to visit last year and my wife was pretty well used to how things worked by then. They went together to a small sandwich shop to get some lunch and her sister asked if they had potato soup. She said no, they had only pea or chicken noodle. (My wife was telling me this story...) By the time they got through the line and it was their turn to order, her sister asked for potato soup. "I even can't believe she ask for this potato soup immediately after I tell her they not have potato soup." I gave her that little, "uh huh. Now you see what I meant all that time? You see why I was always so irritated with you?" She half-heartedly agreed and let out a small "bozhe moy!"

So, it will get better. But, that first couple of weeks, months, even years, you'll just have to let out your own "bozhe moys!"

Try to take time to show her EVERYthing, don't be surprised by ANY questions that she asks, and never, EVER speak ill about Russia, Russians, or Russian customs or traditions (at least until you're sure she's become fairly well adjusted to her new life here).

It can... no.. it WILL be frustrating at times--- for HER and for YOU --- but overall, it will be a truly amazing adventure!

I don't know about the amazing adventure part, but it will be frustrating. You don't have the right to speak ill of Russia, but you can say over and over and over again, "this is how it's done in America. I know it's not the same or not as good as it was for you in Russia, but you're in America now and you have to do it like this if you want it to get done."

Good luck!

I am lucky in that her mother already lives in New York

I wish my wife's mother lived in New York. She could've stayed there several times and left me the hell alone!

Actually, we were just talking the other day about how stubborn I was in not leaving when she told me to go back to my parents' house and live with them. The reason we've worked through our problems is we haven't given up and neither one of us have left. We deal with it. We may not be 100% happy all the time, but then we work it out and we move on. I'm guessing if her mother was closer to here, she would've been gone a long time ago and I'm not so sure she would've been back. (Yet!) But, maybe that's why it works for us.

And all of this comes down to knowing HER .. sometimes she might be willing to tell you that she doesn't understand and needs your help. Other times, she might be embarrassed to say that she doesn't understand, and it's up to you to realize she needs help. All women are a mystery that most men have a difficult time understanding... Russian women perhaps more so.

This is where some "tough love" may have to come into play. If you realize she needs help and she can't realize it herself, sometimes you just have to go ahead and help her out anyway. Like it or not.

But hopefully you've taken time to get to know HER and to get to know her culture as Mox says. Pay attention in your visits with her and in your conversations with her to clues about her likes and dislikes, what she understands about America and what she doesn't. I firmly believe that the most important factor in any successful marriage is good, open communication.

You can spend hours and hours getting to know her and she can even tell you exactly what she wants and what she likes.... today. But don't worry, because tomorrow is going to be different. A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. That's her!

[Brad and Vika 129]

She was unhappy with the experience - and it had nothing to do with the food. I am learning to do a slow ten-count in these situations, and I try to slow the bus down so she can ride too, rather than making her run behind. It is a constant challenge, but I know that in time she will be driving any way - so ruslaptis (relax)!

I tried this approach for a while... and then totally abandoned it.

When she first arrived, I thought, "OK. She just got here, she'll be upset over some things and then she'll start to get used to how it works and then she'll make adjustments." Boy was I wrong! I'd do the ten-count, take a few breaths, and just shrug off all the puzzled looks I got from everyone in the entire store. They knew she was foreign, right? I'd take my time explaining how things worked and how she could go about getting what she wanted but she'd have to go about it in an American way, not HER way right away. "This is how it works here. If you want it like this, you can get it, but you have to do it like this, OK?"

Well, after a few months of, "I want how I want and I not will be happy til I got it" I started to get really irritated and switched my approach. A nice tall glass of STFU served with a side of "you'll take what you get and you'll like it."

Needless to say, that didn't really make her very happy. I can't begin to count the number of silent dinners we had at nice restaurants or times she'd sit and pout for literally hours on end because not only did she not get what she wanted, but her husband was an @$$#0le about it as well. "How dare him for not going out of his way to accomodate my feelings and desires."

Well, truth be told, I want her to get everything she wants. I want her feelings and desires to be fulfilled. But, I'm a realist, and I realize that not every flunky sandwich artist is going to go out of his way to accomodate her feelings. And that's not what concerns me. I'm sure she could figure out a way to get her sandwich. What concerns me is when she's cutting in line at the grocery store (What line? I not see this fat woman with four kids already stand here because she not makes looks like she want go in za cashier) and she ends up getting beat down or shot in the parking lot because she refuses to do things "the American way."

She's still not 100% assimilated (she still places her money down on the counter, right past the outstretched hand of the flunky cashier) but at least she's getting more acclimated to how things are done here. "OK. You already in line here?" (Although she still considers standing in a gaggle around the cashier as "being in line.") I really don't think she would be where she is today without that glass of STFU every time she looked for positive reinforcement whenever she demanded to be accomodated in an unorthodox request, and that worked in very short order compared to the ten-count.

Bottom line is I felt it was more important for her to be safe and knowledgeable of how things work here (and not cause a danger to herself as a result) than for her to feel good about getting what she perceived as "what she wanted."

Obviously, your mileage may vary, but trust me, I know what you're going through right now! Patience, brother. Patience. And if you need to borrow any of my STFU I have about a half a case left out in the garage.

An excellent post! And it reminds me of one of the things that you can do before she arrives that will help greatly --- it may seem like a very small thing, but it can help. During the months that you're waiting for her to arrive, when you visit different restaurants in your city make a note of which ones have pictures on their menu and which ones don't. Even if she speaks fairly good English, to be handed a menu that lists perhaps 100 different items and be expected to read through it, understand it, and make a decision in just a few minutes can be very stressful for them and can lead to a very unpleasant restaurant experience for everyone. What you thought was going to be a very nice, sweet, romantic and special evening can very quickly turn into a night from hell. If there's pictures on the menu to help them make their choice, it can make the situation much easier to deal with.

In my personal experience it wasn't that she couldn't understand the menu, it was that she was looking for the "non-deep-fried, organic, fresh, homemade, Russian" section of the menu. More often than not (99.9999% of the time) it wasn't there. For some reason, when there are seven items listed on the menu my wife spends more time looking for "what else" she could get or how they could mix this menu item with that menu item or take half of this one and put it with that one than on actually choosing what she wants. "Oh, it comes with a potatoes. Can you do with salad.... I not want side salad I want this Caesar salad. Of course I want $9 salad whis entree. Really I want like half but I can't got it so I will be do whis whole."

As a funny side note, my wife's sister came here to visit last year and my wife was pretty well used to how things worked by then. They went together to a small sandwich shop to get some lunch and her sister asked if they had potato soup. She said no, they had only pea or chicken noodle. (My wife was telling me this story...) By the time they got through the line and it was their turn to order, her sister asked for potato soup. "I even can't believe she ask for this potato soup immediately after I tell her they not have potato soup." I gave her that little, "uh huh. Now you see what I meant all that time? You see why I was always so irritated with you?" She half-heartedly agreed and let out a small "bozhe moy!"

So, it will get better. But, that first couple of weeks, months, even years, you'll just have to let out your own "bozhe moys!"

Try to take time to show her EVERYthing, don't be surprised by ANY questions that she asks, and never, EVER speak ill about Russia, Russians, or Russian customs or traditions (at least until you're sure she's become fairly well adjusted to her new life here).

It can... no.. it WILL be frustrating at times--- for HER and for YOU --- but overall, it will be a truly amazing adventure!

I don't know about the amazing adventure part, but it will be frustrating. You don't have the right to speak ill of Russia, but you can say over and over and over again, "this is how it's done in America. I know it's not the same or not as good as it was for you in Russia, but you're in America now and you have to do it like this if you want it to get done."

Good luck!

I am lucky in that her mother already lives in New York

I wish my wife's mother lived in New York. She could've stayed there several times and left me the hell alone!

Actually, we were just talking the other day about how stubborn I was in not leaving when she told me to go back to my parents' house and live with them. The reason we've worked through our problems is we haven't given up and neither one of us have left. We deal with it. We may not be 100% happy all the time, but then we work it out and we move on. I'm guessing if her mother was closer to here, she would've been gone a long time ago and I'm not so sure she would've been back. (Yet!) But, maybe that's why it works for us.

And all of this comes down to knowing HER .. sometimes she might be willing to tell you that she doesn't understand and needs your help. Other times, she might be embarrassed to say that she doesn't understand, and it's up to you to realize she needs help. All women are a mystery that most men have a difficult time understanding... Russian women perhaps more so.

This is where some "tough love" may have to come into play. If you realize she needs help and she can't realize it herself, sometimes you just have to go ahead and help her out anyway. Like it or not.

But hopefully you've taken time to get to know HER and to get to know her culture as Mox says. Pay attention in your visits with her and in your conversations with her to clues about her likes and dislikes, what she understands about America and what she doesn't. I firmly believe that the most important factor in any successful marriage is good, open communication.

You can spend hours and hours getting to know her and she can even tell you exactly what she wants and what she likes.... today. But don't worry, because tomorrow is going to be different. A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. That's her!

I definitely see the "I want the organic juice" stuff all the time. Also, Vika will go into a Mexican restaurant and ask for fish and soup without reading the menu at all (because how could any respectable establishment not have fish and soup?). Viktoria is a very kind and quiet person - most of the time - and I have better results patiently explaining why those things are not on the menu. Then I pick alternative restaurants that have stuff she likes to eat, sometimes in spite of her requests, knowing that the menu won't suit.

For example, we now go to Ernesto's or Tumbleweed (Tex-Mex chains) when she wants "Mexican food". I don't bother to point out that the seared tilapia and mango marguerita are not really Mexican. She is happy with it, and doesn't know the difference yet. THAT is one of the things she can figure out on her own later. We also visit a Chinese buffet that has lots of fruit, and fresh water fish that have head and tail attached. They don't mind a bit if she takes an entire fish on her plate (just like back home). I am getting used to watching her chew on the fins and pick bones out of her teeth, and it this IMO is also an American way of doing things.

Another story about patience. We were in Florida over the weekend, and visited a casino with my parents. I spent some time explaining the games to Vika, and she said "I will watch you play". The casino was crowded, and there weren't many seats free at the tables. I looked up from the game to see her stomping away from the area wiping tears. I immedaitely stopped playing (at a loss) and received the "I hate casino - it is so stupid" monologue. After a few minutes of listening to this, I was able to determine that she was upset about other players making her get out of the seat she was in, in other words being rude to a woman. I explained that players were entitled to the chairs at games, those were the rules. After a few minutes, she made an apology for being "hysterical woman" and said that she was gratefull that I "take so care of her" and stopped playing to find out why she was upset and explain things. If I had taken a tougher stand and eventually said "just get over it - that is the way things are", the day would have been very different. Investing in a few minutes to promote harmony cost me nothing.

Now there are some times where confrontation is necessary. Things like remembering to shut off the phone ringer at night are big for me. I do tend to lose patience after explaining something ten times, if I think the problem is that Vika just doesn't care about it. I use the ringer as an example because she can wake from a sound sleep and fall immediately back. I am up for hours. So the last time one of her bubble headed friends called her at night and it woke me up (she doesn't answer the phone - just sleeps right through the ring), I sat up and turned on the tv. Huge fight - slaming doors - the works. Many comments like "you stupid man should just go out of bedroom and let woman sleep". But the ringer is off now at night. Choose your battles, I say

[baron555 934]

Before Alla and I recently met in Kiev, I had already established that she was a "crazy Russian woman".

She had been in southern Russia vacationing at her parents and we text messaged daily. One day I wrote that I was studying up on Russian superstitions, etiquette and "other things crazy Russian woman do". I said that I was going to have some fun with her when we met but that I should bring my hard hat helmet from work in case she was going to hit me over the head with the frying pan.

Obviously she was sharing our messaging with her family and this text just got the whole family laughing in an uproar. She responded with a story about the man who comes home drunk and with no money and is met by the wife with a flatiron and the rolling pin to the head. Needless to say almost all throughout our stay in Kiev, she and I both joked around about her being the "crazy Russian woman". Then the morning that I proposed to her, as we both decided if we really wanted to go through with it (she did say yes), she declared that "I was the crazy American man and more crazy than her".

Just the other day during a Skype call, she shows me that she was at the doctor and they checked her head. "I am not crazy. I have document!"

So I am the only one left being crazy.

One little game we played while together was making a list of She Likes and She Doesn't Like and He Likes and He Doesn't Like.

The items we listed ranged on all sorts of subjects and a nice bottle of wine helps. Half way through we both realized we had not listed the most important item on each Likes list (the other person) so we both quickly added those.

Also we shopped for groceries together and also cooked together. I feel that being comfortable with each other in the kitchen is important.

Phil

[slim 1,525]

If I had taken a tougher stand and eventually said "just get over it - that is the way things are", the day would have been very different. Investing in a few minutes to promote harmony cost me nothing.

Now there are some times where confrontation is necessary. Things like remembering to shut off the phone ringer at night are big for me.

Choose your battles, I say

Yep, you got it! There are times when I know she knows what I'm talking about and is just being difficult. Those are the times that are very hard for me to invest a few minutes and promote harmony!

You better be careful with sharing stories like this. My wife sometimes gets p!$$ed off when I type about stuff that happens in our lives. I tell her it's all part of understanding the process and it helps to share stories with each other, if only to prove it's "normal" and we're not all crazy. She says, "it's our business" and I think what she really means is "dont make looks like you so great and wonderful guy on your blat Visa Journey blat and make looks like wife so horrible person. Your wife blat so great and wonderful, clean and pure tight. You original stupid and primitive man. Go say this on your blat visa site blat."

She has acknowledged that sometimes I get useful information from this site and it does help to understand things. Pick your battles, I guess.

"I am not crazy. I have document!"

Now that's awesome! I need to get me one of those. However, I think we're all a little crazy for getting married in the first place.

[Brad and Vika 129]

You better be careful with sharing stories like this. My wife sometimes gets p!$$ed off when I type about stuff that happens in our lives. I tell her it's all part of understanding the process and it helps to share stories with each other, if only to prove it's "normal" and we're not all crazy. She says, "it's our business" and I think what she really means is "dont make looks like you so great and wonderful guy on your blat Visa Journey blat and make looks like wife so horrible person. Your wife blat so great and wonderful, clean and pure tight. You original stupid and primitive man. Go say this on your blat visa site blat."

She has acknowledged that sometimes I get useful information from this site and it does help to understand things. Pick your battles, I guess.

I hear that all the time Slim. I spend too much time on VJ, I get stupid, bad information there, etc. Or when the site suits her or her mood is good the appreciates it and sometimes participates. Vika is going to take that tack no matter what my passtime I think (like any wife ). If your hobby is golf, or guns, or watching ESPN, the woman in your life will no doubt have a problem with it periodically, no? She reads many of my posts too, and the reaction also depends on her mood.

[mox 298]

She says, "it's our business" and I think what she really means is "dont make looks like you so great and wonderful guy on your blat Visa Journey blat and make looks like wife so horrible person. Your wife blat so great and wonderful, clean and pure tight. You original stupid and primitive man. Go say this on your blat visa site blat."

You win the internet today, Slim. And you almost owed me a new keyboard.

[Brad and Vika 129]

She says, "it's our business" and I think what she really means is "dont make looks like you so great and wonderful guy on your blat Visa Journey blat and make looks like wife so horrible person. Your wife blat so great and wonderful, clean and pure tight. You original stupid and primitive man. Go say this on your blat visa site blat."

You win the internet today, Slim. And you almost owed me a new keyboard.

[mox 298]

Because I almost spit my coffee out when I was reading Slim's reply. Get your mind out of the gutter!!

[Brad and Vika 129]