age difference

[venusfire503 54]

My husband is 11 years younger, and from Morocco. Different religions, languages, backgrounds, etc. We had plenty of proof of a relationship, though, and he got here less than 3 months after I sent the petition. We've been married over 2 years now. We'll be sending in to remove conditions in a few months.

I think it all boils down to how your relationship appears to the interviewer. The lady who interviewed him for the K-1 kept asking him the same questions over and over, and when he held steady, I guess she was either convinced or decided to give up.

If it's real, and you're persistent and prepared, you should be ok.

Best of luck!

[pushbrk 12,822]

My husband is 11 years younger, and from Morocco. Different religions, languages, backgrounds, etc. We had plenty of proof of a relationship, though, and he got here less than 3 months after I sent the petition. We've been married over 2 years now. We'll be sending in to remove conditions in a few months.

I think it all boils down to how your relationship appears to the interviewer. The lady who interviewed him for the K-1 kept asking him the same questions over and over, and when he held steady, I guess she was either convinced or decided to give up.

If it's real, and you're persistent and prepared, you should be ok.

Best of luck!

Yep. The problem is that most of these cases are none of the above.

[ThaitoUSA 15]

Dont you WANT the choice not to have to fulfill this role of always having to be the strong one? Relied upon one? The one that everything rests upon? I want to be a team with my future husband...

I see my fiancée and myself as a team, a partnership. Each of us has strengths and weaknesses and in understanding each other's, we can effectively work together to accomplish mutual goals e.g. her earning her PhD, me buying the farm (really want about 10 acres of land), etc. Most relationships throughout the world are involved with each other. This type of relationship comes from the solar plexus, pride, and involves being right at any cost, one-upping the other one, etc. The relationship that my fiancée and I strive toward is one of alignment, where our common principles, values, and goals bind us together. The former is a vertical relationship, that expends energy going back and forth, while the latter is a horizontal relationship that gains energy due to its alignment to principles (such as honesty, being helpful, understanding, caring, etc.).

My fiancée comes from a culture, Thai, that still predominantly adheres to the older view of relationships. I am not referring to involvement vs. alignment, rather the social roles of males being the bread-winners and females being the child-rearers and house keepers. My fiancée is about 30 years old and though she is far more open minded (she has already earned her Master's degree, which is rare for Thai women), she is still influenced by her culture. She does perceive me as a strong protector, who will ensure the safety of our nest.

In closing, I would propose that this issue is not an either/or rather chocolate and vanilla. Though I certainly prefer chocolate and can hardly understand how anyone could choose otherwise, I do not need to vilify vanilla. So each is free to choose his or her preference without demonizing the other. Cause I have a feeling that both views shall continue for a long while, it seems unreasable to attack the other.

All the best

[Old Dominion 26]

Has anybody had any problems with a K1 Visa because of a big age difference between the couple? Being the woman way older than the man.

Yes and if u were smart u would stop it now ..........he wants the green card !

If there is a big difference -- ten years or more -- yes, based on the experiences of friends of mine, he wants the green card. Then he will disappear from your life.

[Imua 0]

My husband comes from a very traditional society, is 16 years younger than me and for the record our age difference did not come up AT ALL in the interview.

[AnnexoxShay 1]

Has anybody had any problems with a K1 Visa because of a big age difference between the couple? Being the woman way older than the man.

Yes and if u were smart u would stop it now ..........he wants the green card !

If there is a big difference -- ten years or more -- yes, based on the experiences of friends of mine, he wants the green card. Then he will disappear from your life.

Really???? I have some close friends his 27 and shes 42 and he would cut of a limb for her .... You only have to look at them and you can tell they are mad about each other ....

Im personally not big on the big age difference thing but if people are happy with that arrangement and they are within ages that it cant be misinterpreted as one taking advantage of the other who are we to judge or suggest they are in the relationship for a greencard ...

[AnnexoxShay 1]

There is NO women's liberation. Or very little, though some small amounts seem to be creeping in, very small amounts. For example, women can BY LAW be paid less than men for the same jobs.

I have no problem with this, and wish it was the same in USA.

Are you kidding me?

Wow....horrified this kind of ignorant, self important attitude by backward men like you is still in existence.

No it's the Self Liberated, Everything is About Me attitude that screws up a good woman.......

If it was all about me, I'd be making him move here.

You make sweeping generalisations that are damaging. Women are capable of being devoted wives without accepting standards that make them slaves to their husbands. I love my fiance. And i get pi**ed at any one who tells me that because I am capable of earning as much as him and more, I am not being a "good" wife. In fact the liberation of women has also to some extent liberated men. And now, because I am educated and capable of contributing to the house hold, both sexes have more choices. Dont you WANT the choice not to have to fulfill this role of always having to be the strong one? Relied upon one? The one that everything rests upon? I want to be a team with my future husband, be able to work while he goes back to school, know that I have his back all the way and if something goes wrong with his job (which it has right now) I am there to take the slack while we work everything out.

I dont want to spend HIS money. I want to earn my own. It's so frustrating to see men want to keep us as housewives in one breath, but moan that we spend all the money and dont adequately contribute in another. You see that all the time on these boards.

I am glad he wanted to marry someone who is capable of challenging him on every level. The only thing I am no challenge to him in is cooking (do you WANT to get poisoned???) and chess.

Hey, here's hoping all the liberated women around your wife dont rub off on her. I hope you are keeping her hidden away from the world as it is today.

I will only say this, about that. I lived in England also. I married a Ukrainian. What do you think?

I think that was a chickenspit sort of agreement with Tallcoolone's Neanderthal views? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Dave.

Вы имеете право интерпретировать это, поскольку ваша жена позволяет Вам.

No, dude. Equal means equal. She doesn't have to 'allow' me a thing, nor I her....you should strive for more of that in your relationships.

Dave (obviously, hahahahaaa)

Obviously.

It is normal for there to be misunderstanding by disenfranchised liberated women. First I will note they support "freedom of choice" unless someone doesn't choose like them and then we should try to be more like them instead of respecting the "choice" they propose to support. Nothing new there.

Second, there is the opinion that not needing a spouses permission is somehow good or that I even indicated such a thing. I never indicated I didn't need her permission. I presumed you also did. Sorry, my mistake. I was wrong. I forgot. Permission is not necessary from a spouse who has surrendered all her power as a woman by being "equal". I mean really, dude, who cares what they think? Who needs their permission? Right? I mean they are the same, one of the guys right? I mean who does she think she is? Right?

In fact a traditional wife, such as mine, is extremely powerful and you can bet I ask her permission or consent, especially on anything having to do with her responsibilities. It is because she cares and I respect her work and what she takes control of. She cares and respects what I do. We are most definitely "equal" in our areas of responsibility. I think "tallcoolone" would agree. Traditional wives are not for beginners, best to practice with liberated women first.

Giving oneself to another, and that is what this is, nothing more, nothing less. It is making a conscientious decision to offer another all you have to give, body and soul, it does not lessen your power, freedom or abilities. Being a wife and mother hardly takes away from her masters degree and she still speaks four languages, she gave none of that up. She has a husband who would walk on fire for her and jumps to please her as she does to please him. Heck, I even sleep toward the window in case a bear comes, I will be eaten while she escapes. How devoted can I get!?

Enjoying being a feminine woman, I mean really enjoying it, hardly diminishes her womanhood. Personally I think so-called liberated women are insecure and more so every day. They realize they surrendered the very things that made them powerful. Too smart by half...hoist on their own petard. Oops.

Now me, I am sure not going to tell you that you need to be more like me, it is a learning process and will take some time, sounds like you have a good teacher. And I am not going to suggest that your relationship needs to be more like ours. Far be it from me. I feel no need to try and impose my beliefs on others, I am a liberal like that really. I support everyone's right to make a choice for themselves. I would just never choose someone for my wife that had surrendered her womanhood and had nothing to give me. Oh, I am sure that sounds selfish, not so. I mean it should be mutally beneficial, right? I have something to offer her and she has something to offer me. Or else why not stay single? If I wanted to do everything without asking permission, I could have stayed single. There was no one around that cared, wy get married and still have no one that cares? I gained much by being married and gave something up, is is what happens when lives truly join. In my opinion. Those two separate lives end and a one begins. Sounds stupid I suppose, bt I truly believe it is the meaning of marriage and I am not even a religious guy, it isn't about religion, it is about devotion to each other. And I have my wife's permission to say so.

PS: My wife would just have read what I wrote and responded in Russian, or English or Ukrainian or Italian. She doesn't need the online translation wizard. See, she kept all that wonderful knowledge. Do you think neandrethals spoke 3 or 4 languages?

Gary no disrespect intended because more often then not I find I agree with you on a lot of your posting .... but Ive followed this little conversation between the three members and I find it a little disturbing .... I see what your saying but what you said originally to what you ended up saying was a complete 360 ...

There is nothing wrong with a woman taking a traditional role .... Its a role I am choosing for many reasons ... age, biological clock ticking away, being seperated from my guy for so long and having a desire to spoil him and look after him etc etc etc .... but there is a big difference in wanting to do this and being expected to do this .... In turn he will and has done the same for me ...

I dont know if where we come from makes a difference ... countries like Oz, NZ, Britian etc arent that different but with some of the other countries the woman are sometimes treated like servants .... making certain comments gives the impression that the petitioner is only bringing these woman into the US to fullfill those duties ... I dont think you guys realise how nasty and degrading some of these comments come across sometimes and it is offensive to the females .... I realise we cant change how people think or even how they post but taking consideration on how things are worded would be nice ...

Tallcoolone ... I dont even know how to respond to you .... One of my sisters married a Phillipino things were once sweet for them to (for about 5minutes)... then he showed his true self amazingly around the same time as his family started to migrate over ... funnily enough same sort of thing happened to several other people Ive known who married phillipinos ...

I distinctly remember this one day when I had gone over to go shopping with her and she HAD to heat up his lunch for him because the poor petal couldnt walk 5 feet and stick the plate in the microwave ... She even took the heated dish to him and placed it in front of him ... got him his drink and napkin and he just sat there staring at her for several minutes while she proceeded to get ready to leave ... we noticed him waiting and asked him what was wrong and his reply was 'Something is missing' so we looked at each other and realised she had forgotten the fork .... at this stage I had to say something and he wasnt very happy but yep you guessed it she went and got him the fork ...

[Danu 19]

Gary no disrespect intended because more often then not I find I agree with you on a lot of your posting .... but Ive followed this little conversation between the three members and I find it a little disturbing .... I see what your saying but what you said originally to what you ended up saying was a complete 360 ...

There is nothing wrong with a woman taking a traditional role .... Its a role I am choosing for many reasons ... age, biological clock ticking away, being seperated from my guy for so long and having a desire to spoil him and look after him etc etc etc .... but there is a big difference in wanting to do this and being expected to do this .... In turn he will and has done the same for me ...

I dont know if where we come from makes a difference ... countries like Oz, NZ, Britian etc arent that different but with some of the other countries the woman are sometimes treated like servants .... making certain comments gives the impression that the petitioner is only bringing these woman into the US to fullfill those duties ... I dont think you guys realise how nasty and degrading some of these comments come across sometimes and it is offensive to the females .... I realise we cant change how people think or even how they post but taking consideration on how things are worded would be nice ...

Tallcoolone ... I dont even know how to respond to you .... One of my sisters married a Phillipino things were once sweet for them to (for about 5minutes)... then he showed his true self amazingly around the same time as his family started to migrate over ... funnily enough same sort of thing happened to several other people Ive known who married phillipinos ...

I distinctly remember this one day when I had gone over to go shopping with her and she HAD to heat up his lunch for him because the poor petal couldnt walk 5 feet and stick the plate in the microwave ... She even took the heated dish to him and placed it in front of him ... got him his drink and napkin and he just sat there staring at her for several minutes while she proceeded to get ready to leave ... we noticed him waiting and asked him what was wrong and his reply was 'Something is missing' so we looked at each other and realised she had forgotten the fork .... at this stage I had to say something and he wasnt very happy but yep you guessed it she went and got him the fork ...

I feel this way too. I am from a European/Canadian background. I went through schook, can hold my own in the work force yet I would love when we are stable to be able to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. The funny thing that I find with some people (which makes me understand a bit where Gary is coming from, though I don't completely agree with what he writes) is that if I tell some of my girlfriends up here they are like "is that what YOU want to do?" I am all pro-choice, it matters not to me if you decide to work or stay home, but I do hate the people who make you feel bad for choosing one over the other. I love that my fiance is willing to let me stay at home as well for my health if we are stable enough to afford it and that he wants to make sure that if I am working that I am not over stressed or over worked. That is a true caring partnership. I wouldn't want him to struggle when I can be helping him.

[one love 0]

Has anybody had any problems with a K1 Visa because of a big age difference between the couple? Being the woman way older than the man.

nope 30 years diffrence we had no issue

[AnnexoxShay 1]

Gary no disrespect intended because more often then not I find I agree with you on a lot of your posting .... but Ive followed this little conversation between the three members and I find it a little disturbing .... I see what your saying but what you said originally to what you ended up saying was a complete 360 ...

There is nothing wrong with a woman taking a traditional role .... Its a role I am choosing for many reasons ... age, biological clock ticking away, being seperated from my guy for so long and having a desire to spoil him and look after him etc etc etc .... but there is a big difference in wanting to do this and being expected to do this .... In turn he will and has done the same for me ...

I dont know if where we come from makes a difference ... countries like Oz, NZ, Britian etc arent that different but with some of the other countries the woman are sometimes treated like servants .... making certain comments gives the impression that the petitioner is only bringing these woman into the US to fullfill those duties ... I dont think you guys realise how nasty and degrading some of these comments come across sometimes and it is offensive to the females .... I realise we cant change how people think or even how they post but taking consideration on how things are worded would be nice ...

Tallcoolone ... I dont even know how to respond to you .... One of my sisters married a Phillipino things were once sweet for them to (for about 5minutes)... then he showed his true self amazingly around the same time as his family started to migrate over ... funnily enough same sort of thing happened to several other people Ive known who married phillipinos ...

I distinctly remember this one day when I had gone over to go shopping with her and she HAD to heat up his lunch for him because the poor petal couldnt walk 5 feet and stick the plate in the microwave ... She even took the heated dish to him and placed it in front of him ... got him his drink and napkin and he just sat there staring at her for several minutes while she proceeded to get ready to leave ... we noticed him waiting and asked him what was wrong and his reply was 'Something is missing' so we looked at each other and realised she had forgotten the fork .... at this stage I had to say something and he wasnt very happy but yep you guessed it she went and got him the fork ...

I feel this way too. I am from a European/Canadian background. I went through schook, can hold my own in the work force yet I would love when we are stable to be able to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. The funny thing that I find with some people (which makes me understand a bit where Gary is coming from, though I don't completely agree with what he writes) is that if I tell some of my girlfriends up here they are like "is that what YOU want to do?" I am all pro-choice, it matters not to me if you decide to work or stay home, but I do hate the people who make you feel bad for choosing one over the other. I love that my fiance is willing to let me stay at home as well for my health if we are stable enough to afford it and that he wants to make sure that if I am working that I am not over stressed or over worked. That is a true caring partnership. I wouldn't want him to struggle when I can be helping him.

Thats exactly how I feel to ... part of me feels bad because my fiance will have to take on the role of provider but his reply was 'Im not bringing you here to go and work, but if you want to it is your choice' .... and taking that into consideration if he is going to be the bread winner then my job will be our home ... its a case of give and take, how could you possibly expect the person out there working 10 hour days to come home to cook, clean and fold laundry I couldnt in good concious ... and the fact is we are both in our late 30s and we both want children ... its hard to work and run a more traditional home .... granted my mother did it but she also wasnt planning on living in a small town of 1000 were the options are more limited and therefore you dont have the luxury of negotiating your work hours ...

... I am also all for womans rights ... but to me it means a right to choose .... I have also found that a lot of my female friends look on at my choice to have a more traditional home as a sell out like I personally am doing something to stunt the growth of womens rights .... believing in womans rights doesnt mean we all have to get out there and burn our bras and be in a constant battle over whats right or fair etc ... we should have a right to choose how to live our lives ....

I want to raise my children and bake them cookies and be home when my husband gets home from work with a nice home cooked meal ... if thats how I choose to live my life who am I hurting??????? but to be told thats what I have to do, no way Jack!

But having these view doesnt mean I dont think for a moment that the roles can be reversed and the woman work and the men stay home ... Ive known some stay home dads and they do a fantastic jobs .... Honestly, Ive known some men that take care of the family and the home better then the wives!

[queen01 0]

Has anybody had any problems with a K1 Visa because of a big age difference between the couple? Being the woman way older than the man.

Yes and if u were smart u would stop it now ..........he wants the green card !

Thanks for your advice. My guy is not that kind of person. what we have is real but i was just wondering if that would be a problem with the visa people not that we have any doubts about our relationship.

Edited April 8, 2009 by queen01

[lovica_l 0]

I dont think itll be a problem at uscis, but i think at the consulate depending where you are, they might look into that, ive read that consulates complain about that , you should write a letter about how you met and stuff, and explain that age doesnt matter, at the time of intreview, n notarize it, n gather lots of proof

[PB&JAM 1]

My fiance and I are 2 weeks apart. Is that the closest age difference on here?