age difference

[Ann 26 1]

Has anybody had any problems with a K1 Visa because of a big age difference between the couple? Being the woman way older than the man.

I had a great trouble with that.

My now Husband is much older than me, they denied our K-1 visa at the consular stage.Then we married and fortunately he managed to attend my second interview (CR-1 )and we were questioned seperately for more than 1 hour,so they didn't find ANYTHING suspicios and they APPROVED us !

Everything was awful and frustrating but now I am in the States, so I feel much better after being treated as a 'suspicios" person

So hopefully you won't have the same problems,but honest people do always get approved and let's hope that you will be the next one

[Ann 26 1]

Damn, the more I read the threads on here the more I start to worry. Dani is 14 years older than me. I am 34 and she is 48. "fits a common fraud profile..." Great.... Two hits in 2 days.

Concerned,

Todd & Dani

It is not always like that.It depends on which country you are from: if you are from Eastern Europe that you are gonna have little trouble, but if you are from Canada, Central Europe they are gonna have " mercy " on you....

Again and Again each situation is unique and we can't predict what can happen to you, but one I know for sure that developing countries usually have more problems than other one....

Have faith and you will be united

[Minya's wife 24]

Well, hush my mouth! There you go, I guess I am not following the right threads.

I will say this and then run from this thread for fear of being killed in a cyber drive-by shooting. And mind you, personally I couldn't care less about such things and wish everyone only happiness. End of disclaimer.

I lived in Eastern Europe, the culture and realtionships between men and women are completely different than here and other "English based cultures" and much different even than western European cultures. I also lived in UK and Canada. Not in the military but actually living, working and renting flats with everyone else. There is NO women's liberation. Or very little, though some small amounts seem to be creeping in, very small amounts. For example, women can BY LAW be paid less than men for the same jobs. In their culture it is VERY unusual for the man in a couple to be older than the woman, men are frequently elder by a LOT. Women consider men 10 years older ideal, 20 years older is just as good. And it is not only the women that will not consider younger men, it is the men that will not consider older women (or taller women, you almost never see a couple where the woman is taller than the man) This is not a fad, not a passing trend. The men in Ukraine have such a strong cultural need to "be a man" there are many cases of them being killed while crossing the steet because looking both ways is not "manly". There is a nearly 20 year gap in the life expectancy of men and women because of all these "manly acts". I contend it is another reason women prefer older men. An man in his 40s or 50s has already survived his "manly years" LOL But you have to understand it is much more than a "social norm". A woman who marries a younger man can lose the respect of her family and friends and that is also a strong cultural influence, the man will also suffer the same consequence.

I cannot comment about Egypt, or other middle eastern countries. But if this is a "problem" in those consulates I can only say the culture goes deeper and is more powerful than eastern Europe. Despite the culture in Ukraine I cannot possibly imagine the consulate rejecting a visa for this reason. They may think the couple is crazy, but they would approve the visa if all else was correct.

My caution is this. If you are a woman, older than your foreign fiance, and he is from a culture where this kind of thing is a big "taboo", be very careful. He is going against very strong, ingrained from birth, cultural rules. I hope, really, it is because none of that is important to him and he is deeply in love with you and you live happily ever after.

While I agree with the gist of your post, I would caution you against using the terms Eastern Europe and Ukraine interchangeably. There are cultural differences between Ukraine and other countries in Eastern Europe. Your example (bolded above) is not necessarily true for the Eastern European country I was born in, for example. There, while the man does tend to be older than the woman, it is frequently a matter of a few years, and on average the age difference is not more than 10 years. In those, not unheard of relationships where the woman is older, there is not nearly the amount of social stigma you describe. This with the older generations....with the younger ones, it is becoming more common for reverse age differences, and the culture is taking it into stride without it becoming taboo.

I think it depends on how steeped in tradition the country is, and how readily it 'rolls with the flow'.

-P

[EtherealVocalist 0]

so.............

I am a Naturalized USC ( from Canada ) I am 38

and my husband is German and 27.

you think that 11 years in age difference will be a problem at the AOS interview?!

Now I am scared... Our relationship is genuine and wonderful!

Do you?

Germany is not a high fraud country and has no cultural taboos against this arrangement, except maybe mild eyebrow raising. Your fiancee could get on any plane and enter the USA under the VWP, he is not doing it to get into the USA.

At first, his family thought we were the same age. I do not look like I am in my late 30's. They even thought I was younger than him. When I mentionned my age in a conversation, they were surprised. not that the fact I was 38, but at how well "preserved" I am. his mom wanted to know my trick lol.

i think also at first, my husband was a little bothered by it. But he quickly got over that. the more and more that he got to know me and appreciate me for who I am, that went out of the window. The music we make together is timeless, so is age!

[Ellie-and-David 38]

There is NO women's liberation. Or very little, though some small amounts seem to be creeping in, very small amounts. For example, women can BY LAW be paid less than men for the same jobs.

I have no problem with this, and wish it was the same in USA.

Are you kidding me?

Wow....horrified this kind of ignorant, self important attitude by backward men like you is still in existence.

[Jasman0717 9]

There was a member here whose fiance was from Romania (I think) and her petition was denied because she was several years older. She ended up moving there. She was so sweet, it was too bad about the outcome of her petition.

[star_dragon 0]

Apparently he bought a shirt as well!!!

Edited February 24, 2009 by star_dragon

[Minya's wife 24]

There was a member here whose fiance was from Romania (I think) and her petition was denied because she was several years older. She ended up moving there. She was so sweet, it was too bad about the outcome of her petition.

Are you sure that is why the petition was denied? I'm just wondering, as age discrimination is a stated reason why a petition can be denied at the USCIS level, nor is it a stated reason why the visa can be denied by the CO. But suspecting that there aren't sufficient relationship bona-fides because of a large age difference is allowed and quite often sets the burden of proof bar so high, that it cannot be met which is when the denial is triggered.

-P

[pushbrk 12,822]

There was a member here whose fiance was from Romania (I think) and her petition was denied because she was several years older. She ended up moving there. She was so sweet, it was too bad about the outcome of her petition.

Are you sure that is why the petition was denied? I'm just wondering, as age discrimination is a stated reason why a petition can be denied at the USCIS level, nor is it a stated reason why the visa can be denied by the CO. But suspecting that there aren't sufficient relationship bona-fides because of a large age difference is allowed and quite often sets the burden of proof bar so high, that it cannot be met which is when the denial is triggered.

-P

Age difference is NEVER a stated reason for denying a "petition" or a "visa". It can be one factor, if when combined with numerous other factors that can influence a denial based on a lack of evidence the relationship is bona fide. The OP is engaged to a much younger Egyptian man. The issue is not simply "an age difference" but the precise kind of age difference that become one part among many parts of a specific fraud profile. Woman older, met on the internet or through the beneficiary's family member and Egypt. (generally the middle east but most primarily Muslim countries)

There's certainly no reason for couples with no issue other than an age difference particularly when the man is older, to be alarmed in any way. Yet, it seems like every time this subject is discussed, that's exactly the kind of reactionary response that gets posted over and over. There are people who need to be worried about this. Some of them need to be worried they are actually in a fraudulent relationship and don't know it but in many cases they simply need to be aware and prepare for the additional scrutiny.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

There is NO women's liberation. Or very little, though some small amounts seem to be creeping in, very small amounts. For example, women can BY LAW be paid less than men for the same jobs.

I have no problem with this, and wish it was the same in USA.

Are you kidding me?

Wow....horrified this kind of ignorant, self important attitude by backward men like you is still in existence.

Hey I am just reporting the facts, I make no judgements. But I can tell you this kind of attitude, far from being out of existance, is normal in a very large part of the world. And if a woman is liberated and believes in freedom of choice for all women then she should certainly support another woman's right to choose to be and act like a feminine woman and be devoted to her husband and family in ways long ago forgotten in the USA, Canada and GB, in general.

It is no coincidence that the number of American men seeking foreign wives far surpasses the number of American women seeking foreign men. So much so that it is common practice here on VJ to assume the USC is a man and the fiancee is a waomn. Myabe not fair and certainly not always correct, but them's the facts, ma'am. And I have to say after living in a culture free of "women's liberation", I returned and was just completely ruined forever to consider a relationship with an American woman and NOW, I need to run and duck the hail of bullets coming my way.

Have a good day.

[Old Dominion 26]

A large age difference counts if there are other little indications of a possible fraud. Best for both man and woman to be present at the interview.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

A large age difference counts if there are other little indications of a possible fraud. Best for both man and woman to be present at the interview.

I doubt Cairo would allow the american fiancee to attend the interview.

OP, visit the MENA forum to find out where a lot of egyptian/american couples hang out. We have several older american women married to younger egyptian men

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=97

[Minya's wife 24]

There was a member here whose fiance was from Romania (I think) and her petition was denied because she was several years older. She ended up moving there. She was so sweet, it was too bad about the outcome of her petition.

Are you sure that is why the petition was denied? I'm just wondering, as age discrimination is not a stated reason why a petition can be denied at the USCIS level, nor is it a stated reason why the visa can be denied by the CO. But suspecting that there aren't sufficient relationship bona-fides because of a large age difference is allowed and quite often sets the burden of proof bar so high, that it cannot be met which is when the denial is triggered.

-P

Oops, I should have re-read before hitting post.

[Anh map 2,098]

A large age difference counts if there are other little indications of a possible fraud. Best for both man and woman to be present at the interview.

I doubt Cairo would allow the american fiancee to attend the interview.

OP, visit the MENA forum to find out where a lot of egyptian/american couples hang out. We have several older american women married to younger egyptian men

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=97

22 year difference with us (husband older). Our experience was HCMC. I can't speak about Cairo.

I agree wholeheartedly that reading through the MENA forum will give a lot of good guidance.

Best of luck.

[tallcoolone 102]

There is NO women's liberation. Or very little, though some small amounts seem to be creeping in, very small amounts. For example, women can BY LAW be paid less than men for the same jobs.

I have no problem with this, and wish it was the same in USA.

Are you kidding me?

Wow....horrified this kind of ignorant, self important attitude by backward men like you is still in existence.

No it's the Self Liberated, Everything is About Me attitude that screws up a good woman.......