what if the marriage doesn't work?

[sam808 0]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

[usaborn1111 0]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

I have a friend that same thing happened and she found another person to be with and marry. If it is abuse(even verbal) than you need to get a lawyer and help get out of the marriage. My friend was able to stay, so go get a good immigration/divorce lawyer

[English Muffin 59]

Moving to Effects of Major Family Changes

[Bobby+Umit 161]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

I would suggest first talking to a marriage counsler, perhaps you can work through the problems. As you say, you just became married to him this January.

After that, you may find you two can work together, marriages are not things that happen, you have to work at it.

You do not say anything about abuse, it would be difficult for you to stay here just because the marriage "didn't work out", you would need to consult a lawyer about what options you have.

Good luck in whatever you do.

[Amy&Aldo 2]

If I were you I would give it some time before you give up. All marriages are difficult in the first year, and with the added stress of moving to a new country and becoming pregnant, yours probably feels EXTRA difficult right now. I would hate to see you walk away from your marriage when it seems like you guys could probably work through your problems. Marriage counseling is a great idea, if your husband is open to it. Good luck. I wish you the very best!

[PinayAmerican 0]

i symphatized with you. Marriage needs to be worked out. And, just like in pregnancy, the most crucial part is the beginning. Things unexpected may arise. At the same time, you got pregnant really easily. However, it isn'a fault. Both of you did it. I know some foreign husbands who don't want to have a baby yet till they think they can provide enough for their family.

You have just been married, so I don't think it's best to give up. No... hold on and see how it works. If you can attend a marriage counseling then that would be good. Be more understading and patient and talk with your husband about what you feel. Let him understand what you are going through. If he loves you, then he will soon understand.

Hoping for the best for you and your husband. Hope that your marriage will work.

[MMW 2]

i would suggest that you give it a lot of thought. as the other poster just said you are having a big life change right now. add to that the hormonal changes that are chemically taking place in your body because of the pregnancy. What you do now will not only affect you but also your unborn anak. Give it time and see if things improve. Remember also a pregnancy affects the man as well maybe he is needing adjustment time as well. I am just suggesting that you don't rush into any decision and also don't take the advice of someone that the first thing they suggest is running to a lawyer. We don't know you or your bana personally but we are here to help. Sis be strong and pray! Maybe talk to your priest, he might give you some insight too. Think about it marriages are not disposable they are meant to last if at all possible. We are praying for you.

[gennyangel 3]

i dont know how bad is that something you learned about your husband..Only you who knows if you can stand the situation longer,if you really felt you feel better at home here in the PI and do what your heart tells you. However,if theres something left in you for your husband then just try to work it out unless theres nothing much more left in you then you can decide. Thats still up to you. Right now all i can give is for you to pray alot....

Edited February 22, 2009 by gennyangel

[Sprailenes 47]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

I have a friend that same thing happened and she found another person to be with and marry. If it is abuse(even verbal) than you need to get a lawyer and help get out of the marriage. My friend was able to stay, so go get a good immigration/divorce lawyer

Yea so find a new man quick, quick quick!

[Old Dominion 26]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

Wow, you've just been married only one month and you want to quit the marriage? Is your husband THAT terrible? What are his thoughts about the marriage, the baby, and your future together? I don't judge you but instead wonder if it is all about having to learn to get along with each other and accept each other's weaknesses.

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Some might not like my answer..but

What I have found out is that Americans(me) are more prone to self-reliance and inner strenght..We don't go to the Doctor for little things and alot of us like to be strong and make our own decisions.

So when our other half seems weak it upsets us that they aren't strong in the way we like or want or expect.. So you need to teach him that he married you for how you made him feel..how you show your love and that is the reason he married someone from the other side of the world and not the woman down the street..

You need to remind him we are all different and are strong in our own ways and that your giving birth for both of you and you are very strong in your way..

He just needs a kick to remind him of why he loves you and waited so long..

[Old Dominion 26]

Though we may seem self-reliant, Americans are probably no different than anyone else -- if a loved one is not feeling well, we want to help. Cuddling and hugging is good medicine....lol

[johndecka 0]

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

well we could never know 100% abt out other half and never will even live together for all the life.

you and him just got married . Its abt learning eachother. Everyone has attitude but u cant just quit.

IS he Abusing u? Did u ask him why he is acting the way he is acting?

In marriage, have to give more than take. it's not 50/50 relationship.

well dont give up. think and talk about the good times u n him shared together.

stay together.

[sj5 4]

Both of you should learn to each other and act like an adult.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Seems drastic and extreme to want to leave him so soon, just becuz he no understand morning sickness....

What are you not telling us here? What else dont you like about him?